If you stopped watching a long time ago, you can now catch up. Paramount owns them. I rhyme them. And critique them.
Season Six
by Cybermum
The sixth Season of Trek is done:
Each Wednesday night is a rerun
And once again I've been inspired.
To versify what has transpired
Since Janeway found Pandora's Box -
The Fleet ship called the Equinox.
The saga of her vendetta
Played like a space operetta.
Our Survival Instincts waken:
Seven once again was taken
On a journey of discov'ry
We wished her "speedy recov'ry".
B'Elanna Torres had the blues
Until she took a three hour cruise
No luxuries – no feather bed.
On that Klingon Barge of the Dead.
The EMH expressed an urge
(Or was it just a power surge?)
He wanted to diversify -
Tinker, Tenor, Doctor or Spy?
A strange diversion for Helm Boy:
Tom Paris found a brand new toy.
Alice was a junkyard shuttle
Whose devotion wasn't subtle.
A stoic Vulcan is the norm
Through thick or thin or ion storm.
So Riddles gave us quite a shock
With an emotional Tuvok.
Awakened from deep sleep beneath
The Vaadwaur showed their Dragon's Teeth.
Seven broke several protocols.
Tuvok beamed up through force field walls.
Just One Small Step in history?
Chakotay solved the mystery.
The Ares – found amongst the ships
Inside a graviton ellipse.
Seven's circuits overloaded
And her Borg implants exploded
Wishful thinking don't you see -
A Voyager Conspiracy.
They tried a sweeps time ratings ploy
And brought in Reggie B. and Troi.
Star Fleet got a slight reminder
Of Voyager in Pathfinder.
Next came the one that made us sick:
The captain had her holo-dick.
"Delete wife…leave him unshaven…"
Janeway reprogrammed Fair Haven.
In just one quick Blink of an Eye
Many millennia passed by.
The Doctor claimed a son and love.
It's possible! See verse above.
The Qomar were a tiny race
Who'd never heard treble or bass.
And Tincoo's replica subdued
Doc's Virtuoso attitude.
The episode Memorial
Provided a tutorial
Regarding the horrors of war.
The Obelisk they did restore.
"The Rock Battles Borg Babe Seven".
This - pubescent viewers heaven.
All hail those clever Powers That Be
Who pleased the suits with Tsunkatse.
The Borg abhor things defective.
Ergo: the mini Collective.
But Captain Kate did not submit
And Seven had to baby-sit.
There's a holo-deck malfunction.
Janeway feels no compunction.
She *will* protect her Spirit Folk
And thus became a net-wide joke.
Once again Kim's love life crashes
In the show Ashes to Ashes.
His girl preferred to be undead
And so he beamed her back instead.
Icheb's folks lied to Captain Kate:
He was to re-assimilate.
Seven of Nine must save the day
She made it seem like Child's Play.
Janeway and her forgotten sheep
(Shall we call her Captain BoPeep?).
Good Shepherd to her motley crew.
But in the end they all came through.
Live Fast and Prosper – was the game.
Just let Voyager take the blame.
The Doc played holographic fraud.
So continuity was flawed.
B'Elanna was the poet's Muse
He put her stories to good use.
His Voyager play depiction
Seemed like a dig at fan fiction.
Kes was back in a great Fury.
Came to act as judge and jury.
A ratings trick those hacks employed.
Results: A character destroyed.
The Doctor traveled through sub-space:
Life Line for familiar face.
Both Troi and Barcley lent a hand
It's ratings month. We understand.
The Haunting of Deck 12 depicts
A ghost story told by Neelix.
Janeway converses with her ship.
An alien force wants a round trip.
What? A Borg resistance movement?
Are they looking for improvement?
A daring scheme was created.
Who has been assimilated?
Now the Borg queen is really vexed
But we must wait until the next
Part of Unimatrix Zero
And hope Seven's not the hero.
So that does it for Season Six
Now I'll sit tight to see what tricks
They come up with. In the meantimes
I need the rest. I'm out of rhymes.
