Warning: this is anti-NarutoxHinata. So don't complaint to me about how they were meant for each other and blahblahblahblah. I already told you two times, in the summary and now here. Don't like it? Then why are you still reading this?

I wanted to do one-shot, just because I never did. And because I don't like couple NarutoxHinata and prefer NaruSaku, I decided to write a short one-shot of it. I'll update my story later on...hopefully.


She had loved him since she set her eyes on him. He was practicing his aim, never stopping. He threw his kunais, retrieved, and threw again, until his fingers were tremling, until his knuckles were bleeding because of all the time he hit the ground out of frustration. He threw, retrieved, and threw. It was a neverending, vicious cycle. Somewhere along the way, she managed to draw her to him like moths to flame.

And she didn't even know it.

After that day, she kept noticing him. He seemed to have grabbed her attention since that day. It was a wonder why she didn't notice him before. He was so loud in the classroom, always got in troubles with the teacher. She wondered why he didn't catch her attention before. At the time, she didn't know this attention was dangerous. She didn't know it would lead to a horrible heart ache. This emotion that she felt for him, it will stab her, crush her, squeeze until she couldn't feel the pain anymore, and start the procedure all over again.

Because love was just cruel like that.


When they passed the genin exams and the teams were announced, she silently hoped that she would be in the same team as him. She rememberd how hopeful she was the night before. She prayed to whatever kami out there that she wil be on the same team as him. The day came, and of course, nobody listened to her prayer. He was in the same team as Sasuke Uchiha, the infamous Uchiha, and a pink-haired girl named Sakura that he had a crush on ever since the start of the academy. She saw him asking her out on a date, takling to her, showing her attentions and affections. And she didn't even want them.

Life was so unfair sometimes, it made her cry. Never in her life, she was so jealous of someone.

Sometimes, she wondered: wouldn't someone take pity on her? For whole entire life, she didn't get what she wanted. Her father hated her, her cousin were out for her blood, and she just felt so alone and weak that she even tried ending her life. People hurt her, with their angry and cruel words that knocked her down so many times, her abilities as a shinobi frustrated her, and she felt that she didn't have anything in her life that was worthy of someone being jealous over. So was it really hard to give that one boy's heart to her, to grant her something that she so desperately wished, so that her life will be a bit happier? She didn't think so.

But apparently, Kami thought differently.


She grew up. She was more confident, stronger, emotionallly and physically. She grew.

And her feelings for him grew with her.

She only saw him once or twice, but it was enough to make her heart beat for the rest of the day and her mind to prevent her from sleeping because she was thinking about his gorgeous, boyish face. She only saw him once or twice, but it was enough to make her realize, with broken heart, that she was always there with him when she saw him.

Together. All the time.

It hurt more than she watned to admit.

She believed that she had grown, and if you had grown, doesn't it usually mean that whatever pain that you may suffer hurts less because you experienced a lot more or some ridiculous notion like that? But, apparently not, because even after all these years, it still hurts to see them together, laughing, interacting, having a good time, while she's here, miserable and hurt and just observing. She thought she was better.

She was wrong. Again.

How…idiotic.


She confessed to him. Even though she saw all the signs of 'this-is-so-not-going-to-work-because-he-is-in-love-with-someone-else,' she still confessed anyway. Because this feeling, this love that she felt for him, grew and grew until it hurt her to keep it inside her anymore. She saw his reaction, his rejection clearly written in his body language, but she still ignored it and rambled on because she has never wanted something so much in her life. She hoped that, if she ignored it, he would ignore it too and he would choose her instead of her, that girl he truly loved.

But it didn't work.

And she knew that. But she still had to try.

She knew she had lost. The moment she laid her eyes on them hugging each other, their eyes filled with so much love for each other, she knew that she has lost the one thing she ever wanted in her life to someone else. The pain, the ache…it silced through her, ripped her apart, crushed her, and sprinkled salt on her wounds to finish. It hurt like hell.

He tried to apologize, and she could feel her heart being stabbed by each word he was sprouting from his perfect lips. Kami, she really was sick. Even after everything, after every pain that he caused her, even if his words hurt her more than any insult her father has ever given her, all she can think about is how beautiful his mouth is. But that's okay. Because she knew she was abnormal since the day her father told her so. She was weak, pathetic, and good-for-nothing. It sucks, but her father was right.

Only good-for-nothing person would fall in love with someone unattainable from the start.


She believed love was something beautiful. She thought it would take all the pains that you have, wrap you around like a blanket in a cold winter. She heard that it was wonderful. She wanted to fall in love. She wanted to be loved. She wanted her own comfort, her own blanket that she could wrap herself around when the world has hurt her again. She wanted to give her heart to someone, and know that she received his heart as a return.

But apparently, it was all a lie.

And it hurt.

Hope you enjoyed! ^^ Please review?