Sexual Identity

By Chocolate coated Blue

Summary: Some things just shouldn't be left around, especially when there's a curious hyperactive blond on the loose in one of the most dangerous hideouts in the Five Great Nations.

AN: This idea popped into my head in psychology class (we're just started to study gender) and it just took hold. I blame my teacher for saying "little girls play with dollies," and my friend for going "no, just, no" and then collapsing in laugher when I started the story. Also for bugging me until it was finished, all credit for that goes to night flame miko. Anyway, it turned out better than I'd hoped even if it isn't part of my Twitch Twitch series (close but not quite).

The story begins one fateful day deep in the confines of the Akatsuki hideout . . .

"Sasori-danna are you a girl, un?"

All the members of Akatsuki froze at their newest member's and the puppet masters latest partner's question. It had been a relatively normal day for the nukenin (or as normal as they could get) until this latest interruption in their quiet life at the hideout. Everyone had gathered, though most ignored each other, and were sitting quietly, until Deidara had decided to ask his latest question.

Attention quickly shifted to the red-head as murderous killing intent permeated his skin into the room.

"Do I look like a girl brat?" Sasori's monotone broke the stifling silence.

The blonde bomber continued, oblivious to the anxious looks he was receiving from his fellow members as they edged away from both the angry puppet master and clueless blond.

"You play with dolls, un" Deidara explained "And the book says only girls play with dolls, 'cause boys play with footballs, un" As he said this he held up a book How to raise your child straight. Seeing the blank and frankly astonished looks around him, he further elaborated: "I found it in Orochimaru's old room"

All of the Akatsuki shuddered, even Zetsu. In the background Itachi twitched violently and let out a small whimper, Kisame placed an arm around him consolingly. Sasori's eyebrow rose.

"Yeah, you way to clean too, un. Boys are supposed to be dirty, un" Deidara babbled on "And you never get into fights, you always let you puppets do that for you, un"

Sasori's voice cut across the blonds, as he moved slowly towards his partner. "And I suppose the fact that you have long hair, never get into physical fights and are constantly hyper makes you a girl child?"

Deidara blinked "Danna I told you, I'm NOT a girl!"

"Then why do you presume to call me one hmm?" Sasori voice and face were expressionless, even more so then the usual.

"Well, yeah, un. The book says un…" Deidara shifted uncomfortably as Sasori stopped just a foot from Deidara.

"Orochimaru, my ex-partner, who likes boys, underage boys" Itachi let out another whimper. The blond shifted from one foot to the other, never once taking his eyes of his red-haired partner.

"I, un . . ."

Sasori leaned closer to Deidara "Am I a girl brat?"

Deidara swallowed heavily, he only now felt the dangerous aura exuding from his danna that the rest of Akatsuki had felt when he had first asked that question.

"No, danna, un."

"Then why brat, did you ask me such a stupid question?"

Sasori's breath fanned Deidara' face as he spoke, the blonde felt a small shiver of apprehension.

"I, err, un . . ."

"Exactly brat" Sasori abruptly leaned away, snatching the useless book as he did so.

"Itachi, burn this" Sasori ordered as he casually threw the book in the Sharringan users direction, not even turning as the smell of burnt paper filled the room.

Eventually, Sasori broke eye contact with his partner, turned and strolled towards the door leading to the personal quarters of the Akatsuki. A collective sigh swept the room as the tension drained from the member's bodies.

"They're puppets not dolls."