Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do not own the rights to any of his movie, manga or anime and I am petty much dead flat broke anyway. If you wish to sue me knowing all this, your going to lose more money then you could possibly gain.
Thank you for your time.
Chapter 1: The day the clown cried.
The strong scent of acid hovered in the air like a foul green bird of prey and clung to everything in the cold, dank underground chamber like a creeper. Considering that the center of the room was dominated by a large acid vat that had been installed to secretly depose of dirt, rock, useless personal and experiments gone wrong. The lack of ventilation was also serving to test the long term effects of the fumes on living human beings, both mentally and physically... Nothing truly went to waste.
Surrounding the vat were many different platforms, most of which had at least one conveyor belt that was positioned to deliver it's payload into the vat below. Normally, this room would be moving none stop but today it was silent as the grave (with the exception of the bubbling of the acid in the vat.). Just as suddenly as a heart attack, it began. At first it was just a single low note, ringing through the silence alone but proud. It was soon joined by another as a rather large instrument made mostly out of different lengths of pipe was wheeled onto one of the platforms on little more then a plank of wood with wheels connected to the bottom, playing a tune that was little more then notes designed to sadden the listener.
Behind the portable instrument followed a small crowd of people. Six of them were carrying an open casket between them. Four of them wore the masks of their profession, but two of them left their faces bare to show their emotions to the world around them. While the masks bore respectful indifference, the shorter of the coffin bearers was glancing with fear towards what had to be the strangest man he had ever had the misfortune of meeting. Namekuji had heard the rumors of the sick and twisted professional relationship between the deceased and the man who had organized this service in the first place.
As the team of six placed the open casket on the deactivated belt, Namekuji looked into the surprisingly expensive casket at the only part of the body he had been able to retrieve... a short-sleeved long white coat decorated by flames-like motifs on the edges that was covered in blood. There were many different cuts, tears and burns through out it.. If one looked closer, they might have seen the thin cut that appeared to have pieced the wearers heart...
Turning his attention back to his host, Namekuji watched as the man who was always smiling or laughing sadly reached into the pocket of his purple overcoat and removed a piece of paper. Leaning over the casket, the green haired man placed it firmly right in the center of the mangled orange jacket before stepping back, placing his hands together in front of himself in an act of respect and mourning. The sign said only two words.
'Kick Me'.
One of the masked poll bearers, clearly female from the shape of her body, turned her water filled blue eyes towards the man who's unnaturally pale white flesh matched the white of her mask before saying with just a hint of pride "That's just like ya love... putting the fun in 'funeral'."
As Namekuji watched a small smile cross his hosts face before it vanished into sadness once more, he witnessed in silence as Rama Sha, the insane clown who had once sworn loyalty to Konoha, walked with his hands behind his back and his head deep in thought before taking the make shift wooden podium they had set up for the occasion.
"Dear friends, today is the day the clown cried." The masked woman started to sniffle at Rama's words, already holding a white handkerchief she had pulled out from... somewhere.
"And he cries, not for the passing of one man, but the death of a dream. The dream that he would someday taste the ultimate victory over his most hated enemy. For it was Namikaze Minato who made me the happy soul that I am today. How I agonized over the prefect way to thank him for that. Perhaps a cyanide pie in the face... or an explosive whoopee cushion placed playfully in the hokage's chair."
The masked woman broke down completely, her sorrow filled sobs grating on Namekuji's nerves by the second.
" But those dreams were dashed, by the weasely little gunsel sitting there in our midst."
All eyes suddenly turned on Namekuji, but the ones that he himself were locked onto by fear were the yellow eyes of Rama Sha. The madness and insanity that lived behind them was howling in rage and fury. Those who happened to be a little too close to the target of the pale man's wrath wisely decided to start putting distance between Namekuji and themselves.
"This cowardly, insignificant backstabber who probably got lucky when Minato slipped on the slime trail this loser left behind him. This mound of diseased hyena filth who's not fit to lick the dirt from my sandals!"
Despite the twenty or so feet distance between them, Namekuji felt Rama's spit strike his face as the man's raged fueled yells echoed throughout the room, the wooden pedestal starting to crack under the insane man's grip. Namekuji truly feared for his life the instant Rama tore a handful of wood off in his fit of rage.
All he had wanted was to get paid the bounty on his former kage's head and retire early with enough cash and riches to last him fifteen spoiled lifetimes over. It hadn't even been that hard to kill Minato. Hell, it had been easy as killing civilians with ninjutsu. Namekuji, formally of the leaf village, had managed to be the first person to witnesses the aftermath of the titanic battle between his kage and the Kyūbi no Yōkothe. The man seemed to have already had both feet and an arm in the grave already, what would it matter if someone was to help him along?
He could still remember the blond haired git trying to say something to him before his face was twisted by the pain of the knife in his heart...
That had been little more then two hours ago, and now he was attending the damn blonds funeral being hosted by a man who hated the yellow flash of the leaf with an insane passion. According to legend, Rama and Minato had started their rivalry and mutual hatred of each other when they started to fight each other over a bowl of ramen in what had been the grand opening of some ramen stand while they were both still children. They had been trying to kill each other ever since.
"But I digress..."
In a heartbeat the tamper tantrum was over with, and Rama was once more perfectly calm.
"The time for sorrow has passed. It's time to look ahead, to a future filled with smiles!"
For the first time that evening, a smile crossed Rama's face. Unlike the others, this one matched the madness in his eyes so well it sent chills down the spine and froze the blood.
"And I'll be smiling again, just as soon as we take that man there!" Rama's purple gloved finger suddenly pointed towards Namekuji, making the five foot tall man nearly wet himself in fear at the amount of killer intent that the green haired mad man was producing.
" And slap him in that box there!" Rama's hand swept over to the coffin that the blond Hokages battered coat now rested in. For the first time, Namekuji noticed that there seemed to be locks built into the lid of the thing... locks that looked like they were designed to never open again once they snapped shut.
"And roll it into that vat of acid there!"
As Namekuji's eyes followed Rama's finger to what was just announced to be his final destination, shock overcame his common sense to run for his life for a spilt second. It was already too late by then, since the four masked pole bearers had already moved in to seize the betrayers limbs. With timing and strength that was borderline supernatural, they broke and dislocated all four limbs simultaneously.
Ignoring his cries of pain, the four masked goons lifted Namekuji into the air and started carrying him by the limbs they had broken. Much to the injured man's horror, they were heading for the casket.
"C..come on g..guys. T..This isn't f..f...funny any more!" was all the man could say as he tried in vain to struggle against his new found fate. Turning his eyes towards their master, he failed to hide his fear of what was to come. " Would it help if I said I was sorry?" He pleaded as he grew ever closer to his finally resting place, his voice getting faster and more despite by the second.
"I'm really really really really REALLY SORR..."
Before he could finish his sentence, Namekuji was placed in the coffin he had helped bring to this place and had the lid slammed in his face, silencing his pleas forever as the locks clicked into place.
As the goons got clear of the belt, the female one who had had the handkerchief during the eulogy took up position at the levier that controlled the belt. Turning her gaze towards her master and true love, she waited for him to make eye contact with her and nod his head before pulling it, turning the belt on.
It was one of the slower belts, taking the casket slowly towards it's final resting place. Along with the other members of the funeral party, Houyou bowed her head in silence as they watched it go, ignoring the odd screams that somehow managed to get through the coffins soundproofing. Glancing at Mr S, she noticed the twin trails of tears that were slowly falling down his cheeks.
She understood why he was this upset more then anybody. Due to her lover, Houyou had developed a similar rivalry relationship with Uzumaki Kushina. It was, at least to her and Mr S, the greatest game that the world had ever known. The goal was to kill or convert the other team while avoiding such a fate yourself... and now there was no one else to play with...
As she reflected the twist of fate that only a giant demonic fox could create, the casket reached the end of the conveyor belt and tumbled into the green bubbly liquid below. It managed to float for a couple of second before sinking into the green, one final soul searing scream echoing into the chamber as the soundproofing began to fail.
All was silent for a few moments before Rama let out a long, drawn out sigh. It was over with. Only then did Rama smile like a bored but innocent school boy. "Well that was fun. Who's in the mood for ramen?"
…...
There was only death and the maddening reek of fox everywhere...
It had been two hours since the bloody fox had been defeated and the body of the Yondaime Hokage had been recovered from the field of battle. While nothing had been made official yet, rumors that a killing blow to the heart from a mortal blade was what had ended the life of the famous yellow flash were running rampant.
But Kuromaru didn't care for such things. There was no point in worrying about something that he couldn't change when the task ahead of him was far more important at the moment. His mistress had ordered him to search the battlefield for the wounded and retrieve them... well, she had pointed towards the carnage and ordered him to 'Fetch', but he was smart enough to get the general idea.
The problem was that the fox hadn't taken prisoners. It hadn't been pulling its punches and human's just weren't built to take the kind of damage it had to dish out. To make matters worse, the air reeked of fox, foul chakra, blood and rotten meat which was choking his sense of smell and making tracking by scent next to impossible. He had managed to find a paw full of people because of little more then sheer luck and with each passing minute the odds of finding anyone else were getting slimmer and more hopeless.
Picking up a sound that no human would have been able to hear, Kuromaru paused in his searching to perk up his ears to try and hear it better. Twitching them around in an attempt to narrow in on the signal he was getting, he darted forwards, jumping the odd corpse and feeling his paws splash in the odd puddle while ignoring the fact that it hadn't rained few weeks...
The area he was entering was considered a dead zone of sorts due to how close it had been to the center of the maelstrom that had been the Kyūbi's rampage. Everyone knew that anyone who had walked into the zone while the demon fox had been present was assured dead and therefore the recovery teams didn't bother with searching a place there wasn't anyone to help. Much like other pieces of knowledge that everyone seems to know, Kuromaru conceded that everyone was wrong once again.
The smell of death was overpowering and he felt like his nose was on fire, but Kuromaru kept pushing onwards towards the high pitched screeching noise that was ringing in his ears. Pouncing up and over one last fallen tree, the wolf like creature bore witnesses to a rather tragic scene. There was a woman with red hair, covered in her own blood, laying half naked with something wrapped up tightly in a jonin vest. Just from the amount of blood alone he could tell that the woman had... passed on.
He would have left it at that, but the crying that had brought him here started anew from the bundle in her arms. Pacing himself as he walked up to the bundle Kuromaru started to sniff his discovery, only for a small little human hand to work itself out of the jacket and grip his nose with the strength of a new born. Backing off a little out of shock, the wolf quickly regained his control before walking back over and taking a better look at the creature that had been tightly wrapped up in the jacket in an attempt to keep it warm.
It was a human cub that had some sort of yellow hair with whisker marks on his cheeks. While his eyes were trying to open, they were closed enough to block him from seeing what color they were. Leaning his nose close enough to the boy and the woman holding him to take in their scent without outside interference. While the smell of fox was still strongly present, he was able to get enough of both of their scents to confirm that they were mother and cub.
Giving a silent sigh, Kuromaru carefully grabbed the bundle with his teeth and started to rock it slowly be shaking his head softly. Within moments the small child closed his eyes fully and yawned in the cute fashion that all cubs do before snuggling into the jacket and falling asleep.
Rolling his eyes, Kuromaru began the tack back to the medical base camp that had been set up for the occasion, the little bundle swinging from his jaws. While it was truly a sad sight to see a young child parted from their mother at such a young age, the wolf hoped that someone could at least find the child's father. After tonight, anyone who made it through it alive shouldn't be forced to live life alone... Tomorrow was going to be a truly sad day.
AN: This is my first attempt at a naruto fanfiction. I've added a couple of OC characters in order to build up a little bit of the fun, and I must ask that you be brutally honest with any reviews your willing to give. Just... make them constructive? Please?
