Title: Love Like Woe
Author: bleedforyou1
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG-13
Beta: vanessawolfie
Summary: Harry really should've gotten candy hearts instead.
Word count: 2,241
Warnings: slash. fluff. ridiculous humor. language.
Note: This is a gift!fic for brinimc, who asked for a very witty prompt that I must bow down to her for. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!

Draco Malfoy was insufferable. He was annoying, spoiled, bratty, sarcastic and dry. His drawling voice and arrogant attitude were flagrant and he always wanted to sound smarter than everyone else. Honestly, no matter how gorgeous or handsome he was, his smirk always made his face look miserable.

The worst part though, the very worst part about Draco Malfoy in Harry's opinion was …well, despite all of his faults, Malfoy really was rather irresistible. It was horrifying.

Harry watched as Draco came in, his blond hair tossed back haphazardly because of the wind and tiny snowflakes dusted over his head and black coat. His nose and cheeks were an adorable pink colour and his lips were slightly darker.

Irresistible, really.

"Harry! Why on earth have you let the fire go out? It's freezing!" Draco barked, throwing multiple firing charms at the fireplace and causing a roaring fire to start.

"Oh I didn't notice. Sorry, your highness," Harry snorted, looking back down at his paperwork.

"Ah, I see you've finally gained some respect for me," Draco chuckled, hanging his coat, scarf and cloak on the hooks of their hat-rack. "It's about time. We've been Auror partners for how long, now? Three years? Merlin, that's miserable."

"Shut up, you git," Harry rolled his eyes.

He looked up surreptitiously through his eyelashes as Draco loosened his tie and rolled the sleeves of his white button-down shirt up like he did every day before sitting down. Malfoy's arms were so lithe and the cords of muscles made Harry's heart jump every freaking day.

"So, guess what happened in the coffee shop this morning?" Draco started, and before Harry could reply, he continued. "I was getting my usual, café mocha with extra whip, and this man came up to me out of nowhere and asked me out. How weird is that?"

Harry looked up, his quill making an accidental stroke across the page. "Did you say yes?"

"No. I said I was flattered, but I told him no. I just can't date a Muggle, you know?"

Harry eyes narrowed. He had thought Draco had changed over the last three years, but apparently he hadn't. "Oh, of course, those Muggles—good for coffee, but not good enough to date."

"No, you idiot," Draco said, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his coffee. "I didn't mean it like that. I can't date a Muggle because I don't know enough about the Muggle culture yet. Besides, it would be difficult to tell a man I'm a wizard, and I don't like lying to my lovers."

Harry looked at him in surprise. Well, he certainly hadn't expected that.

"Oh."

"Yes," Draco smirked at him across their desks. "Now, how are those reports going?"

For the rest of the day, Harry thought about what it would be like to be Draco Malfoy's lover.

With a sigh, Harry walked to work the next day with a heavy heart. He wanted so badly to date Draco, but he didn't know how to go about asking the man. He didn't want to ruin their friendship and he didn't want the awkwardness of rejection to ruin their partnership either.

But what if he says yes? An inner voice that sounded annoyingly like Hermione asked him in his head.

What if he says NO? Harry yelled back to shut the voice up.

"Mister? Mister Harry Potter? Is that you?"

Harry looked around as he heard a tiny voice coming from somewhere around him on the busy London street. He was on the Muggle part of town—how did someone know his name?

"Mister, over here!"

Harry turned to see a woman in a tattered coat and woollen scarf staring at him with a bright smile. She stood next to a large cart full of every flower Harry had ever seen.

"Ma'am," Harry inclined his head in her direction and walked over. "How did you know my name?"

"I am a…" she looked around whispered the word "witch".

"Ah, I see," he nodded.

"Yes, not a good one, I'm afraid. I'm left to being a Muggle florist." She had a husky laugh. "Well, sir, how has it? Valentine's day is tomorrow—have you a special someone you're wooing?"

"Er, well, not really—" Harry stopped with a blush. "I wish I could, but they wouldn't appreciate something like that."

"How do you know? A way to a girl's heart—it's easy if you've got the right ingredients!"

"And…what advice would you have to a boy's heart?" He smirked. He felt like the woman wouldn't betray him to the papers—and so what if she did? The Boy Who Lived to Love Boys. Big deal; maybe it was time for the press to find out anyway.

"Well, well, I'd say the best way is through his stomach!" She laughed. "Here, take these ones."

She handed him a bouquet of beautiful pink-tipped flowers.

"Thank you, how much are they?" He began to pull out his sack of galleons but she stopped him with a smack of her hand.

"No, no! Use that money to go into that store, right there," she pointed to a small café across the street. "And ask them for a 'gourmet espresso cupcake'. Trust me, no matter who he is, he will fall in love with you the instant that cake touches his lips!"

"Okay," Harry laughed. "At least tell me your name! You've been a huge help—I've been warring with myself about him for the last three years!"

"Merlin and Morgana, three years! Child, you had better take these instead—" She pulled the pink-tipped flowers away from him and handed him a bouquet of red roses tied with a silver bow. The bow reminded him of Draco's grey eyes—they were perfect.

"Thank you," he grinned down at her. "You're a goddess!"

He bid her goodbye, catching her name as Stella, and ran over to the café as she had instructed. He ordered the cupcake and came out, ready to head over to work.

Draco was going to be his Valentine for sure.

Harry quickly walked into their office, breathing a deep sigh of relief when he saw that Draco had not come in yet. Striding over to his partner's neat and tidy desk, Harry rested the cupcake down with a cup of Draco's favourite tea—Earl Grey—and sat on the edge of the desk, waiting for his partner.

"The snowfall has finally died down—now it's just that pretty flaky type, you know the one I love," Draco was saying as he came in. He was too busy taking off his scarf and gloves to notice Harry at first, but when he looked up, the grin fell off his face.

"Look, I know it seems like this is out of nowhere—but I want…damn," Harry laughed, overcome with the sight of Draco's irresistible face. "These last three years, I've had this huge tug-of-war with myself—should I risk our friendship? Should I tell you how I really feel? But you know what? I'm done fighting myself on this."

"You—I—" Draco was shaking his head, and all the blood drained from his face. Harry didn't know what to make of it, but he kept rambling on.

"I know, you're shocked and probably weirded out—I would've been too. But, Draco, would you be—fuck—would you be my Valentine?"

"Gah!" Draco's entire body shuddered as he fell back against the door in what appeared to be revulsion. "Get—no—get away!"

Harry's entire body froze and his heart thudded painfully in his chest. The high he had been on before immediately melted away as he took in Draco's scramble to get away from him.

"Draco? Look, it's okay if you don't feel the same way—" Harry stood up slowly, about to come closer to Draco when suddenly the man jumped and began to claw at the door, finally getting it open and running out faster than Harry had seen him in a while.

The door swung back and hit the frame with a loud slam, shutting Harry's heart down.

The bottle of Firewhiskey hung from his fingertips as he laid face-down on his couch. Harry had never felt so miserable in all his life. He had planned to get drunk off his arse so that he couldn't feel anything, but just his luck; he only had a half full bottle in the house.

He had left the Ministry after Draco's departure, claiming to Kingsley that he was sick and needed to leave. Once home, he had thrown the flowers out the window and ate the cupcake in three full bites.

"Fuck Valentine's day!" He had yelled out in his flat and then proceeded to down the contents of his bottle.

"Stupid heart. Not good for anything," Harry mumbled into his couch. He felt his eyes droop for a moment and allowed himself to fall asleep. Until, of course, a low knock thudded against his door.

"Go away," Harry grumbled as loud as he could.

"Harry? Are you in there?"

Harry sat up on the couch and felt his heart beat quicken. Damn—even when his heart was broken, Draco could make it beat faster.

He quickly rubbed his face with the edge of his t-shirt and scowled down at the various newspapers and clutter around his living room. Taking a deep breath, he walked over and opened the door, releasing it only when he saw Draco's face.

"Hey." Harry said shortly.

"Hello…may I come in?"

"No," Harry made to close the door but Draco put a hand out to stop him.

"Harry, come on…"

"Really, Dra—Malfoy. I have no time—I have a lot of things I have to do today."

"Like what?" Draco raised an eyebrow.

"Like…like I have to feed the cat."

"You don't have a cat." He rolled his eyes and Harry's temper rose threateningly.

"How do you know? You don't know everything about me!"

"I know that you're lashing out at me because you're hurt—would you let me in so I can explain?"

"Explain what? That you don't like me the way I like you? Thanks but no thanks, Malfoy."

"Stop calling me Malfoy! I hate it when you do that!"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I'm pissed and you're here, and I don't want to see you right now!"

"You're not pissed," Draco huffed, pushing past Harry and coming inside. "If you were drunk, you'd be singing."

"Singing? I do not sing when I'm drunk," Harry replied, watching as Draco took off his cloak and hung it off the armchair.

"Yes, you do—and you try to kiss me," Draco called back, grinning.

"No, I don't!"

"Trust me, you definitely do. Heaven knows I've had to smack myself enough times to not just let you kiss me."

"What? Why would you have let me kiss you? You hate me—obviously, considering the meltdown you had when I asked you to be my fucking valentine."

"You thought I had a meltdown because of that?" Draco turned a rather adorable shade of pink. "I thought you were playing some elaborate game of lets-try-to-give-Draco-a-heart-attack!"

"What are you raving about?"

"I thought…I thought you knew," Draco looked at him weirdly.

"Knew what?" Harry threw out his arms in frustration.

"I'm…I have anthophobia," Draco whispered, sitting on the edge of the couch. "It's…it started when I was really young."

"I-you-what? What is anthophobia?" Harry asked, walking over.

"I can't be around…flowers," Draco looked away and Harry stared at him in confusion for a long moment.

"Anthophobia…you're scared of flowers?"

"I'm not scared necessarily…"Draco huffed, blushing even more. "I just…I don't like them around me."

"No wonder you ran away in the office!" Harry blurted out, unable to help himself. "You were scared of the flowers, not of me!"

"If you laugh at me, I swear to Merlin I will kill you and bury you behind the Manor," Draco said darkly, pushing at Harry's shoulder.

"I'm not laughing," Harry shook his head. "I just—I'm relieved. I thought you were running away from me."

"I wasn't…In fact, it took a lot from me just to stay there while you were rambling on about your undying adoration of me."

"I was not—"

"And then you came closer and I just couldn't handle it."

"Draco, I'm sorry," Harry pursed his lips and tried to keep the laughter in. "I'm really sorry. I didn't know!"

"I know, that's why I came over here. You'd left the office when I got back."

"Well yeah, considering I thought my partner hated my guts."

"I don't hate your guts," Draco said quietly.

"No?" Harry kneeled on the couch and was just close enough to Draco to feel him, but not touch him.

"No. Admittedly…60% of the day I have to tell myself not to punch you hard enough to knock your teeth out…"

"Oh."

"But…the other 40% I have to tell myself not to kiss you and tell you I want you so much it hurts."

"Oh."

"Yes."

They were still for a while, and Harry felt as if his heart would burst before even mending itself again.

"Draco, I…"

"Can we not talk? Just for a moment, while I do this—"

Then Draco leaned over and kissed Harry full on the mouth, taking his pain and throwing it out the window along with those dratted flowers.

The End