Chapter I: Island of memories

Sun blazing overhead. Warmth surrounding him. It was perfect for a mid afternoon nap on the deck. Luffy, Usopp and Chopper were running around the ship screaming like madmen about some octopus they caught, Franky hot on their heels with revenge burning in his eyes. They stepped on a new invention he had been working on for a month now. It is pointless to explain that it had been reduced to dust. Nami was getting more and more angry by the minute with their irksome behavior. One could actually see smoke pouring out from her nostrils. Damn, sea- witch! Brooke and Robin were overlooking them all with amusement in their eyes. They were older. They were more patient with the insanity of the youngsters. A slammed door interrupts his musings . Ah ! There he was the Noodle-Cook, doing his strange dance while holding a tray with parfaits for the two females. It was annoying just to watch him, lest to hear his idiotic rambling about the beauty, elegance and whatever that women had and must be protected. Zoro believed that must have been the starting point of his discord with the Love-Cook. The blond considered women to be fragile things that must be smothered and protected all the time, while Zoro himself considered them equal to men. Women could fight on the same battlefields as men with no trouble whatsoever. It was Kuina who taught him that and he will never waver from his beliefs.

A loud noise woke him up. He was on his feet instantly, but to his annoyance it was a glass that shattered. No danger whatsoever, but a second later he realized something was amiss indeed. It was Robin that dropped the glass. She was on her feet looking out to the sea with a strange and horrified expression on her face. Everybody stopped and stared at her, but then she fell to her knees and clutched to her chest the book she had been reading earlier. Nami approached her and asked what happened, but all she got was a stern look. Suddenly she was on her feet again and heading straight to Luffy. He was looking at Robin quite bewildered, but she placed the book in his hands and pointed to the tiny dot on the horizon. Her words flowed like molten ice on our backs:

" Captain, that island will bring about pain to this crew. It is your decision whether we sail that way or not. But be warned ! There is no island anywhere near it. We will have to sail another month to reach an island if we turn back now."

Luffy's expression was unreadable. Damn him! He sure knew how to keep a poker face going, despite his stupid actions sometimes. Now he was seriously thinking about Robin's warning. He looked at the book in his hands, then he turned around and glanced at Sanji, then looked back at Robin.

" This book explains everything ?"

"Yes, captain-san. I believe it does."

" Sanji, what amount of supply do we have ?"

"Not enough for a month, at the rate you are eating anyway."

Luffy was looking like a true captain right now. He was weighing his options and trying to decide what was best for his little crew of misfits. He turned and looked carefully at the growing dot on the horizon, then he spoke the words that would unmistakably lead to a new adventure:

"A mystery island… fine…bring it on. We will not surrender to any amount of pain or suffering. We have to endure. We will endure. Nothing will stop us, we have dreams to accomplish."

His little speech seemed to increase our desire to run wild, so we raised our fists high and pointed at the sky, while yelling a deafening "Aye Captain !"

The rest of the day seamed to flow by itself so by evening we arrived at the island. Nami had tried to get that book from Luffy but he would not give it to anyone else. He was on his special seat on the head of the Sunny-Go and he kept that book closed on his lap. It would make sense not to give it to anyone if he had been reading it, but he was staring at the island and stroking the hard cover of the book. He was smiling, but somehow I knew that under that façade he was thinking about the decision he took today. He had the burden of our lives and dreams on his shoulders.

The island did not seem much, just a tiny speck of land with a few trees. It could not have more than 1 mile in diameter. Such an island was usually considered useless here on the Grand Line, but one could not be sure enough of the lack of dangers lurking around. We agreed to stay this night on the ship and explore the island the net day. It was the safest way. Zoro took on watch that night, knowing that he was probably the first one to sense danger if it were to approach. The night turned chilly, but the young swordsman was not complaining. He endured enough in his lifetime, so a little freezing weather could not harm him that much.

'Stupid, don't start reminiscing about the past. It was painful, but it ended. Now I have nakama with me, so I won't have to endure such pain again. '

This night he would not go to sleep. Even though he could be a hundred percent alert even when asleep, this island had a presence, something that was disturbing his thoughts and soul. It was disquieting. He did not like it one bit, it was like the island itself was feeding on his energy, on his soul, on his dreams. He looked down from the crow's nest at the others that decided to camp out on the deck. They looked peaceful, sleeping like that. He wondered how could they relax like that. He was certain he never did, never, even when he was surrounded by his nakama. He could trust them, but he knew there were some remains of his past that he could not erase. They were making it impossible for him to fully drop his guard around humans. He was still debating whether it was safe to tell his crew little things about himself, nothing big, just unimportant details of his past. Humans tend to hurt one another for fun after all, so he wasn't sure it was such a good idea . They could hurt him and he did not want to be hurt again. He suffered enough. Zoro did not want a repeat of the past.

As much as he would have loved to stop thinking about the long history of pain his body and soul have endured, he realized he could not. It was strange, but it seemed like the island was attracting such thoughts from him. He looked back at his nakama then at the island. They were not hurt by this strange presence, only him, but why him ? Because he was awake. He still will not go to sleep, he will simply wait here in pain until the morning light would shine again on this god forsaken island and his nakama will wake up. They will relieve his pain then. He knew how to endure, he learned how to endure, he was disciplined and trained to endure anything. Torture never had an effect on him, because he was trained body and mind to resist it.

Hours and hours of reliving suffering made him numb. He could not feel anything, being tactile or simply emotional. He was numb to the core and it showed through his eyes. They had lost their spark, they looked just like they used to, when he was still a child. Just a pair of endless black pits of despair. The training to endure had made him loose what little emotions he had, it made him lie.

Lies. Lies had become second nature for him, just like Robin. He lied to protect himself, but it reached a point where his entire persona was so wrapped in lies that even his nakama knew nothing about him. His age for example. He certainly was not a nineteen year old kid, but he wanted to appear younger because it would calm them down. It won't make them suspicious of him. He did not like it when people would snoop around, looking for information about him. Knowledge is power, but he liked to have that power over others, rather than them over him. It was the training that made him consider everyone around him an enemy. He was always prepared for an attack. He was always prepared to kill.

Killing was not liked in this crew. Luffy did not like it, but he could understand the mechanics and the necessity of it sometimes. Everyone in this crew saw death take their beloved, so they were afraid of it. Zoro wasn't. He liked death. Death meant safety. If you are dead nothing can hurt you anymore, it is like an ultimate shield. He killed because it was his mission. No! It wasn't, not anymore. That was the past, this is the present. He could not afford to get lost between the two. It would bring change, a change that he was afraid of. Probably his crew finding out about his past, the thing he had done as a child and continued to do throughout his adolescence. He was nothing more than a murdered. A murdered that had no place it this world, in this pure crew, among this pure souls. He was impure, yet he wanted to belong, so he lied. Just to be with this group of misfits.

Light. It is light. Why is there light on the horizon ? Oh ! It's morning already. Just a few more minutes of pain , then it will be fine. Ah ! They are starting to wake up. They look happy, like they had a good night's sleep. I couldn't bother them with my pain now, I'll just hide it. It's better that way.

"So I guess it was fine. No trouble whatsoever, right, Zoro ?"

He did not answer. He couldn't. He was too numb. Humans are difficult, that is why I stay away from them. Why are they bothering me now. They should continue with their lives like nothing happened. They should not care for someone like me. I do not deserve it.

"Zoro, did you not hear me ?"

Nami was becoming more and more nervous. She looked ready to bash his head in. The others were looking now as well. They were wondering. What happened ?

Robin was slowly approaching me. She stopped half a meter away, but she was looking straight in my eyes. I did not like it, it was as if she could she inside my soul. Luffy was the same. Even though he stayed where he was he was searching for something. I realized, he was looking for a sign of recognition. I doubte he would get something like that. Not now, when I was so numb.

"Zoro"

A single word he uttered. It was a lie. A lie I made. Zoro was a lie. Zoro did not exist. Roronoa Zoro did not exist. It was a lie. I do not recall my name, so I created Zoro.

There was no recognition. Luffy knew something was wrong. He knew it was the island at fault. I could read it in his eyes. It was the same with Robin. The others were simply looking, but not seeing. Maybe Brook saw, who knows what goes on in that head of his. He knew the most about souls, so he probably realized he was in the presence of an empty shell. Something that had killed its own soul and forgot its own name.

"Don't worry Zoro. We will get you back ! Just you wait."

Luffy was making another strange promise. The others were looking bewildered, but I'm starting to believe the Love-Cook suspected something. They could not understand. Hopefully they will never be forced to understand. But Luffy…why could he not stop ? Why did he have to go and make empty promises ? Brook was getting closer and he put his arm on Robin's shoulder. I realized she was crying. Why was she crying ? She could not be crying for me? It was impossible. I did not understand.

"Why ?"

It seemed to shock them that I asked. But I wanted an answer, something to clarify this haze in my mind.

"Because you are nakama."

Nakama again…that was Luffy's reason. A reason that seemed to become everyone's reason. I simply looked on. I still could not understand why they cared. They could not repair me, I was beyond help.

"No! I am not"

Shock… No…it was pain. Pain was on their faces. They did not believe I would say something like that, but it was true.

"We cannot be nakama. I am different."

"Why you shitty marimo. What the hell ? Did ya' little pea sized green brain broke or somethin'? The fuck's wrong with you ?"

I chose not to answer. It was pointless after all. He could not understand, but it seemed to annoy him even further. He attacked, but surprisingly it was Luffy who deflected the attack. His black eyes were piercing straight to my core. Then he looked shocked.

"Zoro…why is there nothing in your eyes ? Where did you go , Zoro ? Why are you not here?"

"I was never truly here, Luffy. It was a lie from the beginning. There was no Zoro from the beginning."

"I see…Robin…Where is that book ?"

Robin staggered to the small table they had on the deck and brought back the book about the island. She was still crying. I think she must have seem pain in my eyes, pain, just like she endured. But mine was stronger…it was bigger and darker than hers. She was scarred…of me, of what I could do.

"Zoro…this book has answers…it will help us help you. But it depends whether you want to be helped or not."

"It has answers about the island…not me. There cannot be any answers about me in this world. I cannot be helped. It is impossible."

There it was. A spark, a little something in their eyes. Will…it was will. They had strengthened their will to help me. They were prepared to go to the end of the world just to help me.

"We'll find those answers as well."

"Fine, do whatever you want."

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Author's note: I am curious to find out what you liked or disliked about this fiction. It will be a multi-chapter, but I have no idea how many chapters. I haven't planned anything ahead. I just write. So please review.