Apollo could never manage to tell Artemis how much he loved her. How heneededher.He could never manage to say justhow muchshe meant to him. He could never get the words to sound right, and as a god of poetry he ought to be able to make them sound right. But he just couldn't. The words would sound to cheesy or to sophisticated. Every time he saw his twin he felt as if he felt inexplicable joy. He wassomuch happier around her. So whenever she was mad at him or busy or just annoyed with him he felt absolutely crushed. It was on these times he retreated to his palace and drank himself to oblivion or sat by chaos and let the void drain him of emotion.
Apollo could never tell Artemis how much hedespisedOrion. How even though he hated the man, he still felt guilty that he hurt Artemis like that. Artemis hadn't spoken to him or acknowledged him for nearly 10 years after that...Incident. During that time Apollo was rarely ever seen. He spent most of his time in his room and causing plagues. That was adarktime for humanity. Pun intended. When he wasn't there he was on the edge of chaos. Dangerously close to the void and its all consuming energy. If Artemis had not decided to talk to him again on that day, he would have thrown himself into the blackness never to be seen again. Artemis still doesn't know how dangerously close to losing him she had been. And she probably never will.
Apollo never could say how much he needed Artemis's approval. How much he wanted her to just tell him he was good. How he needed her to assure him he was doing okay. That he wasn't failing or just horrible in general. His self esteem, while he pretended it was high as the clouds, wasn't. Not at all. Every relationship he had ended with death. His ego was there, but not really as strong as it seemed. He craved her approval, but his facade was too strong and she criticized his every move. Apollo wasn't okay. He wasnt okay in the slightest.
