Eh, some things just come to mind and need to be written down, right?
Disclaimer: Not mine. If it were, all my fetishes would become reality!
Please enjoy!
Author: Ebil Chameleon
Title: Feeling Human
Pairing: Zemyx
Warnings: None that I know of.
"I would rather have eyes that cannot see; ears that cannot hear; lips that cannot speak, than a heart that cannot love" – Robert Tizon
Can we feel without a heart?
"Zexy?"
"Hm?" Said man turned over on the bed, turning onto his side to face the blond lying beside him.
"I…I can't sleep. There's too much on my mind," Demyx mumbled, sinking down into the blankets. They were pulled up to the bottom of his chin and he was on his side, now facing Zexion who was in a similar position.
"You want to talk? It may help," Zexion said with a small yawn.
Demyx nodded.
Do we feel all emotions with our hearts? Anger, compassion, sadness, joy?
"Well," the younger male couldn't think of where he wanted to start. Normally this would be the thing he would talk to Axel about, only because the red-head shared similar ideas and thoughts. But Zexion, his lover behind closed doors, he wasn't sure about. He knew that Zexion had different ideas from his own and he didn't want to be criticized.
Is the heart really that important? Are we really different without one?
"Do you think we're human?"
The slate haired one didn't say anything in response for a while. He took his time, slowly peeling the covers back and sitting up back against the headboard. "You know that humans have hearts, Demyx."
In protest the blond said, "But I don't understand. Zexy, we came from people who had strong hearts. We look human; we don't look like any other nobody!" He hated that word. He hated what he was called. He hated that he wasn't supposed to be exist.
Is it necessary to have one to be whole?
Zexion remained silent once more, thinking over what his lover had just spoken. True to what he said, they did remain in a human-like form. But he knew that they couldn't be considered human. Humans had emotions. They were nobodies who weren't even supposed to exist. They didn't feel.
"Demyx, I know what you're thinking. I know you want to believe we have hearts, but you know the truth."
"I don't think I do," Demyx replied in a voice just above than a whisper. He sat up as well, arms crossing over his chest in a defensive manner. His blue eyes looked away.
I never felt empty without one. But then again, is the heart something you can feel?
Sighing again, Zexion raised a hand and placed it on Demyx's shoulder. He pulled the blond towards him, but the other one resisted.
"I think we are humans. We're just…different. We're…humans who have simply crossed the line between dark and light. We're just in the shadows," Demyx explained. He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling.
Zexion turned his head, hair swaying slightly, as he looked out the window and into the light of the heart shaped moon that hung in the ever dark sky. He knew a conversation like this was to arise someday. He knew Demyx better than others; knew just how deep his train of thoughts went. He may act like a stumbling fool in front of others, but if you just sat and talked to him, a different view of the musician would appear.
"Maybe you're right. But based on facts, we have no hearts, no emotions. Without a heart Demyx, we can't be whole. We can't exist. We can't feel, we can't be human."
I know what I feel. I just want you to see what I mean. Can you do that?
"Oh, but we can, Zexy." A very small grin appeared on Demyx's face. He finally looked over to the other, leaning his head on Zexion's shoulder and peering out the window at the moon with him. "If we think we're human, we can be human. We have hearts too, you just don't know it. They're just hidden away. You have to find it. Find your heart."
They fell into a comfortable silence, just allowing the contact between them to remain, bare skin heating bare skin. The light from the moon reflected off them both, the two seeming to glow.
"Do you feel it?" Demyx asked softly, whispering into Zexion's ear. Zexion's dark eyes fell shut and he took a deep breath.
Yes, he did feel it.
He wasn't supposed to feel it. The heat swarming from the pit of his stomach, filing through his seemingly empty chest cavity and vacating towards every part of his body. He felt the emotions that they weren't supposed to feel. How illogical.
I don't need a heart to feel. Even if you do. I hope you feel it too. Can you feel what I feel for you?
Turning his head and capturing his young lover's lips in a kiss, Zexion felt the flare of heat burn more. This was something familiar. And he'd never taken into account before that maybe this was his proof that he could feel something.
"I felt that," Demyx murmured against his lips. "Maybe I can't be human, but I know that I can be a nobody and feel. I know what I have. I have a heart and I have emotions."
I have a heart. I have emotions. I know what I feel. If you didn't feel it too, why would you be here with me, kissing me, holding me, loving me?
Love.
Loving me.
I know that I'm human. I'm just different from the others. I feel what they feel.
Do you feel what they feel? Do you feel what I feel?
Do you love me as much as I love you?
I hope you liked it. It came out a bit different from what I was aiming for. But it needed to be written.
you.broke.a.promise/AGENT RACH beta approved!
