You: John, you only had one job. One Job!

Stranger: What's wrong? JW

You: You have forgot the milk. SH

You: I am so angry I can't type in proper english. SH

Stranger: Why don't you ever get the milk? JW

You: Because there was that time you made me get it and it was snowing. I slipped on ice and ruined my coat and all because you made me get milk. And this is why I don't get the milk, John. SH

Stranger: Fine, I'll go back and get the damned milk. JW

You: Thank you. Get some rat poison and pigs blood while you are out. SH

Stranger: Pig's blood? Where am I supposed to get that? JW

Stranger: I don't think they have that at Tesco's. JW

You: Go to the butchers or a farm. SH

Stranger: All right. Fine. JW

Stranger: You owe me one, Sherlock. It's bloody pouring outside and I already went out once. JW

You: You do this because, you love me really. SH

Stranger: Git. JW

You: That's it no more crime scenes for you! That wasn't very nice. SH

Stranger: You need my help though. JW

You: I will just find another blogger. SH

Stranger: [Delayed] I'm sorry, all right? JW

You: OK, you're forgiven. SH

Stranger: Good. I'll be home soon. JW

You: Goodbye John. JM

Stranger: Wait, what?! JW

You: I've just killed Sherlock after he sent that last text to you. JM

Stranger: You're bluffing. JW

Stranger: .. Right? JW

You: I never bluff. Just to let you know. There is a bomb in your jacket that is about to go off in ten seconds. JM

Stranger: Bastard. JW

You: Ten. JM

You: Nine. JM

You: Eight. JM

You: Seven. JM

You: Six. JM

Stranger: I'll see you in hell, then. JW

You: Send me a postcard. Five JM

You:

You:

You:

Stranger: Goodbye. JW

You: One...

You: Did the bomb go off? JM

Stranger: No it bloody didn't. JW

You: Aw...Crap. JM

Stranger: Good luck getting out of the flat. JW

You: Why? JM

Stranger: Because I informed the Yard, and other people where you are. JW

You: Curse you John WatSOON. *Dramtic slow voice* JM

You: I'm back from the dead. SH

Stranger: Sherlock? JW

You: Yes. I have managed to fake my death once again. SH

Stranger: What happened? JW

You: He tried to shoot me, but I had a bullet proof vest under my coat. SH

Stranger: Thank god. JW

Stranger: What happened to him? JW

You: I've tied him to a chair, put a pot on his head and now I am bringing out the cocker spaniel. SH

Stranger: I'll be back soon. JW

Stranger: Lestrade should be there any minute. JW

You: Good, tell him to bring another cocker spaniel, I need back up. SH

Stranger: Why would you need a cocker spaniel? JW

You: Sometimes its best not to ask questions. SH