A/N: Enjoy my story! I freaking HATE Doria!


Doria, Doria, He's got to die!

When he does, no one will cry!

Stab a stake in his heart!

Divide his blood by the quarts!


See, Meggie's parents, Mo and Resa, has been reading her a book called 'Never Trust A Dude Named Doria' since she was three years old. It was one of her favorite books and she read it over and over again. Meggie loved the book and the poems that were inside of it were so inspiring that she just had to read them over and over.

Meggie packed the book inside of her backpack along with a few other things that she would need when she went on a hike with her family and friends.

Meggie put the backpack on and walked toward the door smiling.


See, there was one thing that Meggie had forgotten. She had forgotten that her boyfriend's name was Doria. So what does she do? She follows the advice of her favorite book and avoided him first.

See, Farid was in love with Meggie so he was so happy when this happened but Doria the Douche sure wasn't. So Douch- I mean, Doria decided to try and stop this.

In the process, he ended up falling off of the mountian they were hiking up.


See, Douch- I mean, Doria's fall wasn't a mistake. He was pushed by someone who wanted revenge. That same someone didn't expect for him to die by falling down the mountain. That same someone's name was Resa. Resa had good reasons for her revenge but first she had to get the stake to finish the job.

See,

Resa loved Mo.

But Mo loved Roxane.

But Roxane loved Dustfinger.

But Dustfinger loved Farid.

But Farid loved Meggie.

But Meggie was in love with Doria the Douche who she was trying to avoid.

Turns out, Doria the Douche ended up falling on Resa's stake that she decided to carelessly just throw down the mountain. Farid couldn't be any more happier.


See, Meggie and Farid are now married.

Meggie noticed something though. A picture.

Meggie curiously picked up the picture and stared at it. It was a picture of Doria and he was smiling with his fake teeth, wig on his head, and hobo clothes to match.

"Douche" Meggie said as Farid came up behind her and threw the picture in the fireplace.

See, Everyone lived happily ever after except for Doria the Douche. He died. Very painfully indeed and no one cried. Just like it said in Meggie's favorite book.


A/N: THE END. Don't you love it when Doria dies? I love those kinds of stories. Yes, Doria is a stupid douche bag and I'm sorry if I offended any of his fans. XD (If he has any)