It's insanely long and has no plot that I can think of. I needed to write it, though; I felt a strange urge to write it. Hopefully, this means that I can get back to where I really belong, which is in a Word Document working on Painful Secrets... ::overwhelmed by guilt::
What it was about Rin, no one was ever quite sure. Maybe it was the way her hair caught the sunlight when she hurriedly brushed it out of her eyes after a long day of training; maybe it was how she would patiently intervene in the boys' arguments, analyzing and acknowledging both sides of the situation and trying to come up with some sort of compromise; or maybe it was just the way she smiled, her soft eyes crinkling slightly and her mouth turning up shyly, a dull tinge of pink rising in her face. Whatever it was, the boys had always been drawn to Rin, choosing her over the flashier kunoichi.
In the Academy days, there was always so much stress on memorizing hand signs and regulations, learning the proper fighting techniques, taking examinations; in other words, knowing the basics in and out, back to front. The children of that time had to put a heavy focus on their studies, always being pushed farther and farther. Things only became harder when they graduated to the rank of genin; they were constantly going on D and C-rank missions and had little time for recreation. Still, the young shinobi found time to foster relationships, make friends (and enemies), develop their first feelings of "love".
"Rin-chaaan!" Obito's voice rang out loud and clear in the almost empty street as he ran to catch up with the brown-haired kunoichi up ahead.
The kunoichi in question turned her head, looking back to see Obito running towards her, paying no attention to where she was going. She sighed as he tripped over a rather large rock she herself had easily gotten around, stumbling magnificently; winced as he fell to the ground with a loud and unpleasant crunching noise.
Another young boy came racing around the corner, leaping gracefully over Obito's currently unmoving form. He landed delicately on his feet, his arms outstretched at his sides. He tip-toed over to Rin as a ballerina might, a rose in between his teeth. Rin put a hand to her mouth, trying hard not to giggle as he wiggled his abnormally large eyebrows in what he thought was an irresistibly romantic fashion. "For you, sweet princess," he said, bowing low and offering the rose to her.
Rin took the rose, smiling at him as he straightened up. "Thank you, Gai," she said quietly, smelling the rose.
Gai struck his trademark nice-guy pose, his teeth glinting in the orange light of the setting sun. "I knew you would like it!" he exclaimed. "I picked it myself!"
"Of course you didn't," came a cold voice from behind him. "Roses don't grow in Konoha." A silver-haired boy in a dark outfit was standing there, arms folded across his chest and eyes narrowed in a frown.
Gai's smile slid off of his face like water as he turned to face the glaring Kakashi. "How dare you question the truth of my claim?" he demanded, pointing an accusing finger at Kakashi. "Your cold-hearted comments will not taint the purity of my love, so why do you even try?"
"Because he doesn't understand love," came Obito's annoyed voice from behind the two of them as he walked over, rubbing the back of his neck and frowning sourly. "He's the black-masked boy with the black heart."
Rin sighed as Kakashi glared at Obito, sensing an argument coming. As always, she resigned herself to putting an end to it before it started. "Obito, Kakashi doesn't have a black heart," she said, tilting her head to one side. She shifted her gaze to Gai, who looked slightly sad. She smiled at him, saying, "And Gai, it doesn't matter to me where you got the flower. It smells wonderful and I love it."
Gai perked up immediately, flashing her a sparkling smile. "Thank you, sweet flower!" he said. "I will treasure your words in my heart forever!" Without saying another word, he scampered off.
Obito's face was scrunched up in annoyance as he watched Rin continue to smile at the point where Gai had disappeared. Wanting to get her attention, he waved his arms and said, "Hey, Rin, do you want to walk home with me?"
Rin turned to him, her eyebrows raised in mild surprise at the wild flapping of his arms. Her face resolved itself into a smile, however, and she said softly, "Sure."
Obito grinned, practically skipping to her side. He turned to stick his tongue out sourly at Kakashi, who rolled his eyes and turned down a street leading to his own home.
As they walked together, Obito kept letting his gaze wander to her face, only to catch himself and look away, blushing but trying not to let it show. Rin only smiled when this happened, still fingering the rose Gai had given her.
"Rin, do you like Gai?" Obito eventually asked, his face scrunched up and a shade of pink that Rin couldn't make out in the darkness that had fallen.
"What?" Rin asked, surprised at this question. "What are you talking about?"
"It's just that he always gives you flowers and you always smile at him and say that you love them," Obito said, determinedly not looking at her but looking to his left side instead. "And then he goes on and on about his love for you and you just smile and let him say it." He turned to look at her, his eyes wide, asking, "Is it because you like him that way too?"
Rin blinked, taken aback by Obito's interpretation of the situation. "It's nothing like that," she said quietly, looking back at the rose Gai had given her and stroking the petals lightly as she contemplated her thoughts. "It's just so sweet, what he does and how he does it, and I don't have the heart to turn him away."
Obito didn't say anything at first; the two of them continued to walk in silence for a little while before he said rather grudgingly, "Okay, I guess I understand that… But what about Kakashi?" At the mention of Kakashi's name, Rin blushed; and although Obito couldn't see it, he could almost feel her face grow warmer. He frowned grumpily, saying, "You like him, don't you?" Rin didn't say anything; although, to be fair, he didn't give her long to answer before he took her silence as consent and said, "I just don't get it! I mean, Kakashi doesn't care about you! Whenever you're nice to him, whenever anyone's nice to him, he just glares at them and mutters some cold insult!"
There was silence between them; Obito was waiting impatiently for the response Rin did not want to give him. They eventually reached a small apartment building, at which point Rin stopped and turned to look Obito full in the face.
"Thank you for walking me home," she said politely. They looked each other in the eye, Rin looking hesitant and Obito conveying a feeling somewhere in between sadness and expectance. Rin cocked her head to the side, smiled and said sweetly, "I think you're really really nice, and I like you too." He caught one last second of her smile before she darted inside the house, leaving him to contemplate what she had said.
It had always mystified Obito how easily Gai had proclaimed his love for Rin over and over again; even Asuma's casual flirting took more nerve than Obito could ever muster up. He was always waiting for the right moment, the time when he could just tell Rin how he felt; tell it to her straight without any interruptions or any awkward pauses. That time never came for Obito, though; he sacrificed himself to save Kakashi and was crushed underneath the suffocating pressure of the falling rocks. In what could be considered a final act of love, he gave Kakashi his eye so that he could protect and watch over Rin with it for him, but he never got the chance to tell her how he felt. Obito died, and Rin sobbed and sobbed until her eyes were almost as red as the Sharingan Obito had awoken in order to rescue her, the Sharingan that she had implanted in Kakashi's left socket, the Sharingan that was now a constant reminder of the mission she didn't want to remember but would never let herself forget. Still, even after Obito's death (and then the Fourth Hokage's after that), time kept moving on— the rest of them became teenagers without Obito, and with adolescence came a whole new range of emotions and conflicts to deal with.
The clouds were dumping buckets upon buckets of water on Konoha, drenching anyone foolish enough to venture outside. Fierce winds tore throughout the village, threatening to blow down trees and wear down the Hokage's faces. No one in their right mind would be outside on a day like that; even a shinobi faced the possibility of drowning in such weather.
This did not stop Konoha's only silver-haired ANBU operative from taking his place in front of the Memorial Stone as he did every morning, standing solemnly even in the middle of such a fierce storm. The gale was screaming in his ears, the rain soaking through his uniform and causing his body to shiver violently. He did not notice any of this, though; he was absorbed in his own thoughts, his gaze fixed on two of the names on the Memorial Stone. One had been there much longer than the other; or at least, much longer in Kakashi's eyes: Obito's death seemed both so close and so far away— a memory he could vividly remember about half of but couldn't piece the rest of together. If Kakashi concentrated hard enough, he could still feel the pain he had felt when he scraped up his hands after running them over the Uchiha's names so many times. If he concentrated all of his energy on just that, he told himself, that and the aches that racked his body after his last mission, he might be able to forget the deafening crashing sounds of the boulders falling all around them, forget the words Obito had said to him in that fading voice, forget the final pained smile Obito had given him and Rin as he pulled her out of the way. And if he concentrated really hard, he might even be able to forget the battle his beloved sensei, the Fourth Hokage of Konoha had perished in; he might be able to forget the sound of the Kyuubi's nine tails swishing back and forth menacingly, might be able to forget the Hokage's hoarsely shouted order to get out of the way and protect the civilians being drowned out by the Fox's ferocious screeching, might be able to forget the scrunched-up face of the child the Hokage had sealed the fox within.
Kakashi clenched his fists tightly, shaking; could he really keep doing this? Could he keep going after suffering the deaths of two people so close to him? What was there to keep living for? He pondered that question only for a moment before the answer came to him— he still had Rin. Everyone else had left, everyone else had sacrificed themselves for the sake of the village, but Rin remained; Rin was always there to smile reassuringly when he felt like he couldn't handle it anymore. She had always been there for him, although he had once been much too stubborn to realize it. She always loved him unconditionally, giving him her love even when he gave her nothing back but cold indifference.
Kakashi shifted his gaze to the sky, tilting his head upwards. He blinked a few times to keep the rain out of his eyes, and he realized numbly that he had been crying. He shrugged it off, shoving his hands further into his pockets. I'm not doing a very good job of taking care of her out here, am I? he reflected, glancing around at the his sopping wet surroundings. A lot of good I'll do, freezing to death.
"Kakashi?"
Kakashi turned to see someone else standing a few feet away from him, taking shelter underneath a dark umbrella.
"Rin?" Speak of the devil…
Rin came forward, frowning. "Kakashi, what are you doing out here?" she demanded, tilting her umbrella back so that she could look him properly in the face. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
Kakashi was lost for words, merely stuttering in response. "I… I…"
"Don't give me any excuses," Rin said sternly, taking out another umbrella she had been carrying. She handed it to him, saying, "You'd better take this; we can't get inside somewhere fast enough if we have to share."
Kakashi took the umbrella wordlessly, opening it up and holding it above his head. Even in the heavy rain, he could pick up Rin's scent on it: subtly sweet, like petals lined with dew. Obito had always commented on that smell when Rin wasn't around, going on and on about how lovely it was, but Kakashi had not noticed it until recently.
"Come on," Rin said, turning and starting to run away from the clearing. Kakashi followed, finally realizing just how cold he was and not caring where he went as long as it was warm. The streets were completely empty of people but riddled with puddles; miraculously, neither of them slipped in the mud. They reached a tall white building, and only until Rin was ushering him inside did he realize that it was his building.
"Rin—"
Rin ignored him and pulled him inside, shutting the door firmly behind him. She closed the umbrella, shaking her head back and forth in an attempt to dry off. "Come on, we need to get something warm to eat," she said, leaving the umbrella at the foot of the staircase and beginning to climb up. Kakashi hesitated for a moment, but he ended up just sighing and following her up.
Once inside Kakashi's small apartment, Rin sat him down with a towel and instructed him to dry off while she made something warm. While she was searching through his cupboards, however, he merely hung the towel around his neck and walked over, taking out some instant ramen. He was halfway over to the microwave when she snatched it out of his hands.
"You're as bad as Arashi-sensei," she said. "You can't live off ramen, you know."
"I know," Kakashi said, "but it's the easiest and fastest way to get warm."
Rin hesitated, but she never could resist that look Kakashi had started giving her recently; that teasing stare that almost invited her to disagree just so that he could listen to her lecture him, which he had apparently taken a secret liking to as of late. She sighed, saying, "You win this time, Kakashi…" She turned to make the ramen, and Kakashi returned to where she had seated him, drying himself off as per her instructions; however, he couldn't help but sneak glances at her as she prepared the ramen, smiling warmly at her from beneath the safety of his mask when she wasn't looking.
How Kakashi wished he were on such peaceful terms with her a few months later, when Asuma "accidentally" told Gai and Rin about what had happened to his father. Asuma, Gai, and Rin had been sitting at the Ichiraku Ramen Stand when Asuma apparently passed a comment about Sakumo, only to be bombarded with questions. He had resisted Gai's questions at first, but when even Rin was curious he finally gave in and told them. Unluckily for him, Kakashi had been walking past on his way home from a mission right when Asuma had mentioned the part about the seppuku. Rin had noticed him hovering there silently before anyone else did; Asuma had caught the meaning of the fear on her face and stopped abruptly, but it was too late to avoid Kakashi's wrath.
"What gives you the right to tell them?" Kakashi shouted, both of his eyes narrowed angrily on Asuma, who had tired to stutter an explanation. "I trusted you, I told you not to tell Gai or Rin or anyone else!"
"Kakashi, I— They had a right to know—" Asuma tried to say, but Kakashi cut him off.
"Don't you think that if I wanted them to know I would have told them too?" Kakashi shouted, the pitch of his voice rising. "If I wanted the world to know that I watched my father kill himself, don't you think I would have told everyone myself?!"
"Kakashi," Gai cut in, trying to defend Asuma, "Asuma didn't tell anyone, Rin and I just wanted to—"
"Why would it be any of your business?" Kakashi demanded, rounding on Gai.
"Because we're your friends, Kakashi!" Gai and Asuma both shouted at the same time, standing up; Asuma slammed his wrist on the counter angrily, causing his bowl of ramen to fall over.
"So what?" Kakashi spat, losing control of his temper as well. "I'm your friend, Asuma, but I didn't tell Gai or Rin about your mother—"
"Shut up!" Asuma shouted, his face red with rage. "Shut up, that's not—"
"Don't try to tell me it's not the same, Asuma!" Kakashi interjected, the parts of his face that were visible also red. "It's exactly the same thing; in fact, it's worse, seeing as your mother didn't cut open her stomach on your living room floor!"
Both of them were breathing heavily; Gai was looking back and forth, trying to take in this new side of the situation. Rin's gaze was fixed fearfully on Kakashi, tears in her eyes; she had never seen him this angry before.
Asuma clenched his eyes shut, his entire body seeming to shake in his effort to control himself. Forcing himself to keep his voice level, he said, "You're saying that it was some kind of act of treachery to tell them about your father when you didn't tell them about my mother, but why? I mean, are you ashamed of what he did or something? Because that's not the point of seppuku, the point is to—"
No one was quite sure what happened next; in a flash of silver, Asuma was staggering back, clutching the countertop for support with one hand and rubbing the quickly forming bruise on his face with the other. Kakashi was standing right in front of him, positively trembling. His breaths were heavy, and he reared his fist back for another punch; Asuma countered, however, ducking out of the way and punching Kakashi in the side. Kakashi wheeled around, his expression livid; he was about to land another punch squarely in between Asuma's eyes when he felt someone grab his wrist and Rin screamed, "Stop!"
Everything else seemed to freeze as everyone shifted their gazes to Rin, who was firmly grasping Kakashi's wrist, tears streaming down her face. "Please…" she pleaded, meeting his wide, mismatched eyes with her own glistening ones. "Please don't fight…"
Asuma straightened up, still watching Rin, transfixed. Her lip was trembling as she continued to look Kakashi in the eye, trying to keep her expression determined and unshakable. Kakashi was numb; he let his fist fall limp, her hand still wrapped tightly around his wrist. "I'm… I'm sorry…" he said quietly, stumbling over his words. He turned his head away, looking into the blackness of the night outside. "I just… I just didn't want you to know…"
"Why, Kakashi?" Rin asked, her voice shaking. "Why wouldn't you want us to know?"
"Because… Because I didn't…" Kakashi struggled to find the right words. He answered her question in a whisper, saying, "I didn't want you to worry about me." He bit his lip underneath his mask, his forehead shaking as he forced himself not to start crying.
Rin blinked; she squeezed his wrist tighter, causing him to turn and look at her again. "Kakashi, you…" She shook her head back and forth slightly, trying to stop herself from breaking out into tears. She scrunched up her face, more tears starting to fight their way out of the corners of her eyes. "You don't need to… I… I want to worry about you, Kakashi… I don't want you to feel like… feel like you can't tell me things…" A whimper escaped from her mouth as she struggled to keep her words coherent. "And it's not just you, I feel that way about… feel that way about all of you, because… because… because after— after O-O-O-Obito, I… I don't want anything to be left unsaid…" She couldn't hold it in any more after that; she released her grip on Kakashi's wrist, crying into her hands as her body shook with sobs.
Asuma, Gai, and Kakashi stood there for a few unbearably uncomfortable moments, none of them sure what to do or say. Gai was the first to move, moving closer to Rin and stretching his arm out as if to wrap it around her; Kakashi and Asuma both did the same, and all three of them ended up embracing Rin, holding her tightly as she cried. None of them would ever have admitted it, but they were crying too; Kakashi's and Asuma's tears were loud and raw, whereas were Gai's quiet but plentiful. The owner of the ramen shop said nothing to them, merely cleaning up the spilled ramen and getting ready to close up the stand. After awhile, the group of four quieted down, and the owner of the shop said to them sternly but not unkindly, "All right, I've got to close up for the night."
They broke apart, trying to conceal their sniffles and the few tears that still trickled down their faces. All four of them wiped their eyes and bowed to the old man who owned the shop, turning to leave. None of them spoke, walking down the dimly lit streets in silence; Rin eventually broke it, whispering, "Thank you."
None of them ever spoke of that night afterwards; they would think about it, oh yes: some remembered more than others, of course, but that night was forever imprinted into all of their memories.
Although they never forgot nights like that one, time moved on, and they grew older, arguably more mature. They also gained more of a sense of humor; the demand for shinobi around the clock had died down considerably, and they had more time to kill, more time to just sit around and talk, if only for a little while. Throughout those years, their relationships with Rin each went in different ways; Gai's remained the same for the most part, although he did start to become a bit more aware of his actions and the reactions they brought out of other people; Asuma drifted away from her as he moved on to other aspects of his life, although he rarely missed a chance to sneak in a wink and a flirt here and there; Kakashi's became less and less professional, although he never dreamed of going anywhere with it.
Gai was repeatedly pummeling an upright log, heavy lead weights hanging from chains on his fists. It was the seventeenth and final log in a succession of logs that had been thoroughly obliterated by Gai's bleeding fists, and Gai himself was trembling from the work but enjoying every moment of it. The sun was high in the sky and beats of sweat trickled down his face as he sank a final punch into the wood, splintering it with a sickening crunch. Panting, he struck his nice-guy pose and wiped his brow, pushing his dripping hair out of his face. "A job well done!" he congratulated himself. He stood there, panting for a few more seconds, before his brain registered the pain in his knuckles. He winced, the pain forcing him to squat down as the sweat stung his raw fists.
"No matter!" he shouted through gritted teeth. "In my youth, I can withstand any pain, no matter how great!"
Rin had been walking from the hospital to the Hokage's residence, intending to deliver some important documents, when she heard Gai's shouts. Recognizing his voice immediately, she went over to where he was training. She sighed, walking over to him and saying, "Gai, did you split the skin on your knuckles again?"
Gai straightened up immediately at the sound of her voice, jumping to his feet. He attempted to grin at her as he always did, but it ended up as more of a grimace.
She sighed, taking some bandages out of the pouch on her hip. "You really shouldn't push yourself so hard," she said, beckoning for him to come over so that she could clean him up. He held out his hands, bracing himself for her reaction when she saw the weights he had chained to his wrists. She did not notice them right away, saying, "I know that you have some sort of insane training regime, but you…" Her voice stopped abruptly as she noticed the black shackles on his wrists. An uncomfortable silence passed between them; Rin broke it by asking in a voice of forced calm, "Gai, where are the keys?"
Gai took a deep breath, preparing to answer; after holding it in expectantly for a few seconds, he let it out slowly, realizing in horror that he had no idea where he had left the keys. "I… I… They…"
Rin closed her eyes, praying for patience. "You don't know where they are?" she asked, clenching her teeth. Gai was opening and closing his mouth rapidly, trying to say something, but his brain provided him with no answers and he was left speechless, which had to be a first.
Rin forced herself to keep her temper under control, her brow twitching slightly. "That's okay," she said, rolling up her sleeves. "I'll have to slide them off with chakra."
Gai put his hand on Rin's wrist as she prepared to use her chakra to slip the shackles off of his wrists. He wore an entirely serious look on his face, looking Rin straight in the eyes. "Do not waste your chakra on me, sweet flower," he said, somehow managing not to twitch or smile or give the slightest hint that he might be joking around. "I shall remove the shackles with the power of my love, and we will be able to be together at last." It was almost creepy how he could say these sorts of things without "losing his cool"; Asuma sometimes voiced the possibility that Gai wasn't entirely human, or at least not entirely sane.
Even though she was annoyed with him for losing the key, Rin couldn't help laughing. "You don't need to do that," she said warmly, using her chakra to slide the shackles off of his wrists and bandaging up his hands. Once he had been tidied up, he smiled at her, giving her a double thumbs-up and a wide grin that she could have sworn stretched from ear-to-ear.
Gai's eyes narrowed, however, as he noticed a glint of silver disappear behind a nearby building. "Could it be?" he whispered dangerously. Grabbing an unsuspecting Rin by the hand, he started running to where he had seen the silver. Rin trailing along behind him, he darted in front of a tall figure with spiky silver hair, skidding to a stop. "My eternal rival!" he announced to the world, his wide smile almost sparkling. He was unaware of the fact that he was still holding onto Rin's hand and that she was attempting to escape from his grip.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow, lowering the orange book he had been reading. "What did you do to your hands this time?" he asked. He was decked out in full ANBU gear, his white mask tilted so that it was on the side of his head. By the looks of things, he had just got back from a mission and was attempting to relax.
Gai let out a hearty laugh, releasing Rin and putting his hands on his hips. "This is nothing!" he exclaimed, giving Kakashi a thumbs-up. "I was merely training!"
"Training," Kakashi repeated skeptically. "For what?"
"To prove my love for the fair maiden beside me!" Gai shouted, winking at Rin. "Only with youthfulness will I win over my sweet flower's heart?"
Kakashi raised one of his eyebrows even further so that it threatened to disappear beneath the silver spikes spilling out over his mismatching eyes. "Your sweet flower?" he asked, cocking his head to the side slightly. "I don't remember anyone saying you owned Rin."
"Oh, Kakashi, stop acting so defensive," Rin chided, walking over to him. She smiled until she noticed the book he was holding in his right hand, at which point the smile was wiped off her face. "What is that you're reading?" she asked suspiciously, attempting to snatch the book from him.
He held it up above her reach, saying casually, "Nothing, just something I picked up."
"Just something you picked up?" Rin asked. "It looks like the type of thing Jiraiya-senpai would read."
"Actually," came a voice from behind where Gai was standing, watching the situation, "it's the type of book Jiraiya-sama would have written."
Rin and Gai turned to see none other than the legendary Jiraiya standing there, wearing a suggestive grin on his face.
"You like it, Hatake?" he asked, strolling forward. Kakashi pocketed the book while Rin was distracted, saying lightly, "Not really. It's pretty silly, even for a romance novel."
Jiraiya scowled. "You're just saying that because Rin's here," he growled, poking Kakashi accusingly in the chest. An evil grin crawled onto his face and he stuck up the little finger on his right hand. "Is she… you know…?"
Kakashi ducked away from Jiraiya, saying "Of course not" a little too forcefully. Rin could have sworn that he was blushing, but as he was wearing his mask, it was too hard to tell.
Gai cleared his throat loudly, attempting to bring Rin's attention back to himself. "I believe I was about to ask you something of extreme importance, sweet flower," he said, causing everyone else to turn to him.
"What is it, Gai?" Rin asked, almost wearily. Keeping an entirely straight face, Gai got down on one knee in front of Rin, taking her soft hand in his rough, bandaged one. "My dear, sweet flower," he said, his voice deep and manly. He reached for something in his pocket, cupping it in his other hand. He held out that hand for her, opening it up slowly to reveal a small ring. "Will you marry me?"
Rin blinked a few times, as did Jiraiya and Kakashi. Jiraiya was the first to get over the shock of such an out-of-the-blue occurrence, his lip curling into a sly grin. "Romance," he muttered wistfully, a red color rising in his face. "So sweet…" He took out a notebook and immediately began to take notes on the situation.
Rin was having a hard time getting over the numb shock of being proposed to by a man whose eyebrows are as big as his heart. She coughed lightly, eventually smiling kindly and saying, "I'm sorry, Gai… I just can't accept."
Gai sprang to his feet, his mood not dampened in the least. "Another time, then," he said, making to pocket the ring. Kakashi, however, had performed a hand sign or two and was at his side immediately; he snatched the ring from Gai's hand, turning it over in his own.
"This isn't even a real ring," he said, squinting at the ring. "It's plastic."
Jiraiya cracked up; Gai fired up at once, taking the ring out of his rival's gloved hand. "It's the thought that counts!" he exclaimed, performing a back flip and landing several feet away. "At least I made an effort to convey my feelings, whereas you play hard-to-get!"
"I do what, excuse me?" Kakashi retorted, folding his arms across his chest.
"You heard me!" Gai shouted, pointing at Kakashi forcefully. "You do not deserve Rin's love!"
This only caused Jiraiya to start laughing more, falling to his knees and pounding his fists on the ground; he was practically crying from mirth.
"Rin needs a man who will protect her, no matter what the cost!" Gai continued. He winked at Rin, saying, "I will protect her with my life!"
Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "If Rin needs someone who will protect her with his life," he said, walking over to Gai, "then I'm perfectly suitable."
Rin blushed furiously at this statement; Kakashi, however, had not fully realized what exactly his words meant and continued to speak, crossing his arms and saying, "I've already sworn to protect her no matter what, so that position has already been taken." He had not been looking at Gai as he spoke, his face turned in the other direction, but as he finished he shot him a glare that was hard for Gai to fathom, although he did catch the glint of mischievous malice.
"Is this a challenge?" Gai roared, not exactly interpreting what Kakashi was saying correctly. "Must we start a contest to see who is truly worthy of Rin's love?"
Rin's face was a deep shade of magenta by now; she wasn't sure she could take much more of this. Kakashi, however, said boldly, "I don't need a contest to prove that to you."
There was a short silence after that statement, in which Kakashi realized what exactly he had just said. His face immediately took on a deep red hue as he said, "Wait, that's not what—"
"Then a competition of love it is!" Gai announced, positively trembling with excitement. "I am eager to prove my worthiness to you, Kakashi!" He gave them all a final wink and scampered away, just as he always did.
There was an awkward stretch of silence after that, punctuated by Jiraiya's muffled laughter and the cawing of a bird as it flew overhead. Rin was staring at Kakashi with a blank look on her face as if he had never seen him before. Kakashi himself was blushing furiously; he performed a few rapid hand signs and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
True to his word, Kakashi participated in the insane competitions Gai came up with seemingly on the spot, somehow never managing to pull too ahead without being overtaken by Gai. Over time, the contests seemed to lose their original meaning, at least for Gai; for him, they merely became an opportunity for him to prove his strength against his eternal rival. Kakashi, on the other hand, never quite forgot the original conversation that had led to the creation of this crazy competition, never quite forgot the look on Rin's face as he promised to prove himself worthy of her love. Without saying it to the letter, he had told her that he loved her; however, Rin never received confirmation that her inference was correct until it was too late.
There was a squelching noise as Kakashi skidded in the mud, feeling as if something was missing. He, Gai, Rin, and a few other shinobi had been sent on a mission in Earth Country that had become far more dangerous and problematic than they had anticipated; already, they had lost all but Kakashi, Rin, and Gai. Kakashi scanned his surroundings, the tomoe in his Sharingan whirling as it tried to see through the heavy rain that was falling.
"What is it, Kakashi?" Gai shouted over the rain, also stopping and looking around hurriedly.
Kakashi was panting as he looked around, trying to sense the disturbance. His eyes widened in fear as he realized whom they were missing.
"Rin!" he shouted, looking around wildly. "Where's Rin?"
Gai's eyes also widened as he spun around and looked for Rin, although he knew that if she were there Kakashi would have already seen. The two Jonin wordlessly ran back the way they had came; they had just barely escaped from an ambush with their lives; it was possible that, while they were running, Rin could have been attacked without them noticing. Kakashi forced himself not to contemplate the possible outcomes of such a scenario, darting through the trees and searching wildly for any sign of Rin's swirling chakra.
"There!" Gai cried hoarsely, stopping and hopping down from the tree branch he was on to a spot on the ground. Kakashi followed, almost slipping horribly as he landed: the ground had become a sort of river of mud, churning as the rain forced the dirt up. He half-walked, half-crawled over to where Gai was kneeling beside an unmoving figure, a rain-soaked body. His heart beating out of control, Kakashi immediately pressed his head against her chest, praying to whatever god there was that she would still be alive, that he would hear a heartbeat. His entire body went cold at first; he could hear nothing, and she seemed terribly still; however, a moment later, he felt something moving within her body.
"She's still alive," he said, straightening up and trying to stop his voice from shaking. "She's breathing and her heart's beating, only very slowly."
Gai nodded, his face white as a sheet and his mouth clamped shut: he felt that he might vomit if he were to open it. He dared to part his lips, asking, "How much longer…?"
Kakashi did not answer, frantically searching for Rin's medical pack. Where is it, where is it…? he thought feverishly, scrabbling at the torn remnants of her bag. He tossed them aside, searching for anything, anything that might save Rin.
As he reached over to the pouch on her hip, he heard her whisper, "Kakashi… It's no use…"
Kakashi snapped his head towards her, his entire face trembling as his eyes darted back and forth, taking in her half-open eyes and the small smile she was wearing on her face. He and Gai were at her side in an instant, both of them hovering over her. She tried to sit up and say more, but could produce no words and only coughed up blood instead. Both Kakashi's and Gai's eyes widened further in horror; Kakashi grabbed her arm instinctively.
"Rin, what are you talking about?" he said, his hands shaking as his grip on her arm tightened and tightened. "We've got plenty of time to save you, you haven't lost that much—"
Gai put a finger to his mouth, cutting Kakashi off; Rin was trying to say something. The two of them listened intently; her voice was feeble and broken; it sounded as if it were taking all of her strength to talk.
"Don't… worry about… me…" she said, the edges of her mouth turned up in an attempt at a smile. She coughed again, but kept talking before Kakashi could interrupt. "There's not… I'm not going to… just keep going…"
"Rin, we're not going to leave you here!" Kakashi said loudly: both Gai and Rin could hear him starting to lose control of his emotions— the pitch of his voice was rising as it always did when he got upset, making him sound more and more like a frightened child. "We can still save you, you can still… you can still…" Tears were starting to fight at the corners of his wet eyes, trying to break free past his emotional mask. "You can still make… can still… can still l-l—"
Rin shook her head, biting her lip as she tried not to cry or smile. "Kakashi… It's no use… I've lost too much blood…" As if her body were mimicking her words, she once again began to cough up blood, worse this time.
Kakashi let out a frustrated scream, grabbing Rin's other arm with his remaining one so that he was gripping each one of her arms with one of his own. He was kneeling, one of his knees in between her legs. He was shaking his head back and forth as if he could heal her by wishing it hard enough. "Rin, you can't die now… you c-c-can't leave us now…"
Rin's lip trembled as she watched Kakashi squeeze his eyes shut in an attempt to keep himself from screaming again. She blinked and shifted her gaze to Gai, who was watching her quietly. He was too numb to cry, unable to completely fathom what was going on.
"Gai," she said softly. "The rose you left on my doorstep last week…" She and Gai stared at each other, their eyes meeting; Gai's massive eyebrows were quivering as he tried not to cry for the first time in his life but failed miserably. Tears started to leak out of his eyes and run down his face as Rin said quietly, "It smelled… lovely…"
Gai quickly began to lose control of his tears, trying to give Rin one of his signature grins and saying, "Of course, my s-sweet flower… I p-p-picked it just for y-you…" After that, though, he could force out no more words and began to sob.
Rin smiled warmly at him as she always did, then looked back at Kakashi, who was still shutting his eyes tightly and telling himself not to cry. "Kakashi…" she said, causing him to crack his eyes open and look at her. "Obito… he would be proud of you…"
Kakashi sniffled loudly; a tear ran down his left cheek as he muttered, "He's… he's happy that… that he's going to see you again…"
His glistening, mismatched eyes met Rin's deep brown ones; he bit his lip, still trying to fight the waves of tears that threatened to flow out of both of his eyes.
"I'll be h-h-happy to… to see him a-again, t-t-too…" Rin said, her voice shaking so hard it was barely coherent. Her eyebrows turned up on the inside, her forehead twitching as she tried to give Kakashi her widest smile yet. "B-But… I just wish that… wish that you and I c-could s-s-stay together longer…"
"Yeah…" Kakashi said quietly, hiccupping quietly as he desperately tried not to break out into tears. Rin smiled again; dark, sticky blood began to trickle slowly out of her mouth, and Kakashi wiped it away lovingly with a trembling finger.
"I'm sorry, Rin…" he whispered, his voice cracking as he tried to keep his emotions in check. He did not remove his finger from her face as he spoke, unconsciously beginning to lightly brush her cheek with his fingertips. He gulped back his tears for the umpteenth time, saying, "When I was… when we were younger, I always… I never… I d-d-didn't care about you, I was…" He shook his head back and forth a little, still keeping his eyes locked on Rin's. "I was stupid, I always ignored you… but then after… after Obito d-d-died, I… I started to…" Kakashi let out a little involuntary whimper as his body shook violently, tears leaking out of his eyes and starting to run down his face, soaking into his already damp mask. "I c-cared more, even though I— even though I d-d-didn't say it… I… I…" Clenching his fists tighter, he let out an anguished sob and practically screamed, "I love you, Rin!" His body shuddering with his loud and racking sobs, he sank down, his head touching her bleeding chest and his sopping silver hair tickling her chin. Amidst his sobs, Rin could hear him saying, "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you" over and over again, although anything else he may have said was lost.
Rin was crying too; she raised a trembling hand, resting it on top of Kakashi's head. He brought it forward a bit so that he was crying onto her shoulder now, not caring that the part of his mask covering his nose was being drenched in the filthy mud-water. Unable to muster up the strength to do anything else, Rin merely let her hand rest on his neck, weeping with him. He wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer to him so that he could hug her properly. He ran his fingers through her hair, neither of them worried about the fact that they were caked with blood and dirt because her hair was too.
"Kakashi…" she whispered into his ear, "I'm already… going to die…" Kakashi fell quiet at these words; they mirrored what Obito had said so well that he wondered if Obito was there too, whispering them lovingly into her ear. She chuckled softly, her blood still oozing out of her mouth. "It's silly, but… before I go… if I could see your face… just one more time…"
Kakashi wordlessly pulled down his mask, bringing his head back a little so that she could get one final look at him. His tears quickly stained the already wet part of his face that he so often kept hidden; she smiled as she took in his features.
"I've always wanted…" she said softly, her voice very high as she tried not to cough up more blood, "…always wanted to… to hear you say what… what you… what you…" Hard as she tried to fight it, her face twisted up in pain as she coughed more, little flecks of her blood hitting Kakashi's face. "What you… what you…"
"Rin, don't try to—" Kakashi tried to get her to stop talking, but her coughs subsided and she smiled at him once more, her eyes shimmering.
"I love you, Kakashi," she whispered. Smiling contentedly, she closed her eyes.
Kakashi's heart froze; he pressed his head against her chest, listening for a heartbeat although he knew in his heart that he would not hear it. He began to sob again, clutching Rin's cold body and hugging it to his chest, squeezing her tightly.
"Rin…" he moaned, stroking her hair. "Rin…"
Gai watched Kakashi embrace Rin's corpse for an immeasurable amount of time, knowing that his companion was inconsolable. At a certain point, however, he had to calmly rest his hand on Kakashi's shoulder and tell him quietly that they would die if they stayed out in the rain any longer. Kakashi let go of Rin's body, wiping his face with the back of his hand even though he knew it wouldn't make any difference. They both stood up, giving Rin one final, fleeting look before darting back into the trees, leaving her to forever rest in the deep recesses of that dark forest.
It was a brisk day in mid-November; most of the leaves were lying on the ground, brown and crunched-up, leaving the trees bare except for a few orange and red stubs, and the sky was a dull shade of gray. Winter was coming quickly that year, quickly overtaking autumn.
Two figures stood in front of the Memorial Stone, the cold wind rattling their bones as they both stared at the same name carved onto its surface. Each of them was holding a flower in their hands: the black-haired one a rose and the silver-haired one a lily. Both were clad in black for the solemn occasion, wearing somber expressions on their faces.
Kakashi crouched down, tracing her name with the index finger on his right hand. He quietly set the lily in front of the stone, remaining in that position as he did so. Gai squatted down next to him, placing his rose delicately on top of the lily. "I picked it just for you," he said quietly, talking to the name carved into the stone. "It is a special day, after all."
Kakashi swallowed hard; he had promised himself that this year, he would not cry. "Happy birthday, Rin," he whispered, his voice trembling ever so slightly. The wind gusted past, rustling through his hair. It almost felt as if someone were running their hands through it. He managed to smile, as did Gai.
"It seems that you're still as lively as ever, my sweet flower."
What it was about Rin, no one was ever quite sure. Maybe it was the way her hair caught the sunlight when she hurriedly brushed it out of her eyes after a long day of training; maybe it was how she would patiently intervene in the boys' arguments, analyzing and acknowledging both sides of the situation and trying to come up with some sort of compromise; or maybe it was just the way she smiled, her soft eyes crinkling slightly and her mouth turning up shyly, a dull tinge of pink rising in her face. Whatever it was, they loved her to death and then some, forever keeping their memories of her locked in their hearts so that they could let them fade away ever time without ever completely forgetting the way their hearts had soared when she had smiled.
