As the morning sun came through the window, Remy pulled the covers back over her head and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and pulled them back. She kept her eyes averted from the other side of the bed and tried to forget that there was ever anyone there when she woke up.

She spilled the coffee she made. She didn't eat breakfast. Her hands shook as she turned the key in the ignition and held the steering wheel.

She spent the day in the clinic and hid as best she could from House, and her now ex. That thought made her heart hurt, it made her throat ache, it made her eyelids heavy and her body weak. She sat, locked away in an exam room for an hour before Cuddy found her.

"I'm fine, really," She had tried to persuade her but Cuddy didn't buy it for a second.

"You're obviously not. I'll tell House you're sick. Go home."

"But I-"

"Home. Dr. Hadley"

"Day one, day one,

Start over again,

Step one, step one,

I'm barely making sense,

From now I'm faking it,

Til I'm pseudo making it-

From scratch

Begin again,

But this time

I as I

And not as we,"

There was a bar, on a small back road that she took on the way home. She'd never been here before. That was what she needed, to be somewhere where nobody knew who she was, what had happened and she could drink without anybody asking what was wrong.

It was larger than she had expected and all wood. Large beams on the ceiling reminded her of her ex's attic. They'd hidden in there the first day that she'd ever gone there. House had called and they'd hidden in the attic. That's where they had had their first kiss.

FIRST KISS was the first drink. She knocked back the scotch without even a second thought as to how she was getting home or what any of the bikers, or the old men who looked like they should be set up in a country club somewhere would think to a girl, no a woman, sitting alone at the bar drinking straight whisky.

The next four drink s all had reasons to; The eyes that always made her blush, the hands that held her waist tight whenever it crossed her mind that they'd break up, sleeping holding each other, and the way that her name was always the first thing that she heard when she woke up.

She got up and went out to her car. Her hands weren't shaking this time when she turned the keys in the ignition, or when or when she held the steering wheel. They didn't shake the whole time she drove home, and how she did she wasn't sure.

The key turned in the lock and she walked straight through to her room. She threw her weight down on her bed, on the other side and breathed in deep.

It still smelled like Allison.