Broly: Dark Lord of the Sith

A short time ago in your own damned galaxy.....there was an insane Super Saiyajin named Broly. He killed Darth Vader and took his ship. Now he does what he pleases in the Executor. This is his tail....er....tale........


The Executor floats through space slowly. Broly looks out the viewport, and then turns to the crew. "What were you all supposed to be doing anyways?" One of the crewman steps up. "We blow things up and cause chaos,SIR!" Broly smirks. "Just my kind of things to do. Let's blow up that planet right there." Broly points out the window, where Coruscant can be seen. The crewman clears his throat. "Well there's two problems with that....number one, we don't have the power to blow up planets, and number two...that's our home planet." Broly looks shocked. "You can't blow up planets?! What's wrong with this ship?!" The crewman shrugs "Sorry sir." Broly points at him, and what used to be the crewman is now a steaming puddle of flesh. "Anybody else sorry?" The rest of the deck crew stands at attention. "No Sir! Fuck you Sir!" Broly smirks and nods. "Excellent...." The radars and sensors start going haywire. "It's Red 5! Red 5 is coming with a fleet of B-Wings!" Broly scrathces his head. "Yeah....and?" Everybody looks at him. Broly looks right back at them "We have a Victory Class Star Destroyer on standby, we're on the Super Star Destroyer Executor, and I'm here." The entire crew blinks in unison. " Oh....yeah....."
Red 5 pulls out of hyperspace with 500 B-Wings around him. Luke sends a message to the Executor. "Vader...give up. You can't win." There's dead air for a moment and then Broly comes on. "Vader? Sorry....wrong number." Luke blinks "Umm....sorry." He rechecks the frequency and then sends teh message again. Again Broly comes on. "I'm not Vader!" Luke scowels "Screw you den, ho! We's attackin yo bitchass!!" Luke rockets towards the Executor, followed by the fleet.
Broly yawns. "Okay...you guys hold down the fort. I'll be right back." The deck commanders eyes bug out of his head. "What?! Your leaving?!" Broly doesn't answer and fades out.
Luke looks out his right viewport. "What the hell?!" He see's Broly flying around outside, destroying the B-Wings with a smile on his face. "Use the force Luke!" Luke looks shocked. "Obi-wan?" "No...it's Kaiosama!" Luke scowels. "What do want, roach-man?" "Fine then! Screw you! Die for all I care! We'll see who's laughing then!" "Hey wait!" There was no response. "Shit..." Luke swerves his X-Wing and gets a lock on Broly. "I must use the force..." He fires two proton torpedoes. Broly turns around. "Eh?" Broly stops the torpedoes with either hand, and turns them around. Luke's eyes bug out of his head as he goes into evasive maneuvers.
The Executor bears down on the puny B-Wings. They were no match, of course they hit it, but the damage the Executor recieved was washed sesy by happy robots dancing around on the outer hull. The happy robots whistled, watching the raging firefight with sickening happiness. The Executor got his by 20 missles, all in one spot and the robots smile big metallic smiles, and in unison they say "We'll gladly clean the ship!"
Broyl looks back at the Executor and noticed the robots doing their job with mind bubbling glee. He shakes his head in disgust. "Stupid robots..." He flys over and lands on the hull. A robot comes up to him to wipe him off, like he was a laser stain. Broly punts the robot into deep space. As it goes flying away it keeps screaming "I'll gladly clean the ship!" Broly sighs. His communicator blips and he picks it up. "What? What is it now?" "Sir, we're beating the rebels but...." Broly tilts his head to the side. "But....what?" Theres a slight pause. "We're out of twinkies...." Broyl falls to his knees. "Dear Lord no....."
Luke finally gets away from the missles, which went crashing into two of the B-Wings, destroying them. He shrugs and the shoots down six more for the hell of it. "No Luke! That's the path to the dark side!" Luke scowels. "Damnit Kaiosama, shut the fuck up! I does what I pleases!" "Fine then.....SEE if I care...." Luke smirsk "Poor raochman...." Then his radio blips. "Sir, we've stolen all their twinkies as you ordered." Luke's smirk widends. "Excellent...."
Broly scowels. "That bastard! I know it was him! Damn you Mark Ha...I mean....Luke Skywalker!" With that he kills a few more of the happy robots. More robots came to clean up the rubble that's left, smiling and singing. Broly scowels again. "Godamn I hate robots..." He shakes his head and gets shot in the back by four plasma lasers. He jumps up. "Holy monkey, that's hot!!!!" He spins around and Red 5 comes rocketing past him. He gets spun around in circles, and then stops himself. "Woah..." He shakes his head out and pulls out his communicator. "Guys....tell me something....." "Uhh...sure..." He puts the communicator right next to his mouth and takes a deep breath. "Why the hell are there still ships out here?! What the hell are you people doing in there?! Can't you people shoot?!" There's a slight pause. "Of course we can't shoot, we're the badguys." Broly just stares blankly forward. "And besdides...Luke uses the force....THE FORCE man!!! Not just any old normal, run of the mill force, but THE force!!!!" Broly crushes the communicator in his hands. "Godamn I hate you guys...I really...really hate you guys..." Another happy robot rolls up and starts to wipe Broly's face off. "Get.....away....frim....me...." The robot has a happy smile on it's face. "I'll gladly clea..." Broly puts hsi fist through it.
Luke looks out his viewports. There's no more B-Wings at all. "Well shit....that aint good....." He sits for a moment and thinks, grumbling the entire time. He flicks on his radior. "Umm....did you guys see where all my ships went?" Broly comes on the radio. "Yup! I destroyed them!" Luke gets an extremely wierd look on his face. "All of them?" "Well...I pushed a few into the Executors line of fire, so I guess they destroyed a few." Luke's eyes proceed to bug out of his head. "Oh yeah, that reminds me..." Luke scratches his head. "Of?" "You've got a lightsaber right?" Luke sighs "Of course I do..." "Great! Meet me outside!" Luke blinks "But...I can't breathe in space..." "Hmmm....how about meet me on Chikyuu?" "Chikyuu? Is that some kind of breakfast cereal?" "No you fool! Gah, just come on..." Luke feels his ship being grabbed and he looks outside. Broly is holding onto the hull and pulling him towards Chikyuu. Lukes eyes bug out of his head again.
Broly drops Red 5, which smashes into the ground with a heavy *THUD*. "We're here, come on out." Luke opens the hatch and steps outside. "We fight here?" Broly nods. Then a bunch of bright ki's can be seen, and two seconds later they're surrounded by every Z-Senshi, even the villains (the one's that survived Freeza's Party, that is..>=D). Luke blinks and Broly smiles, pulling outr his lightsaber. "Ready?" Luke hesitates and the pulls out his lightsaber. Broly dances aronud in circles. "Yay me! I get to fight more!" Luke stares at Broly blankly, and everybody around them zaps Broly. He coughs up smoke. "Whoops....ok let's go." He swings his lightsaber at Luke, who swings his lightsaber back at him. They collide and then proceed to wrap around each other (thanks Mel Brooks ^_^). Luke blinks "I've never seen that happen before..." They start tugging, but the lightsabers are tied together tightly. Broly stops. "Wait, hold on...maybe if I...." He grabs the beams and unties them. "There! Proceed!" Luke just stares at him. "What?" More staring. "What?!" Luke shifts his weight uncomfortably. "You can grab the beams?" Broyl nods. "Yup!" Luke scowels. "Then what the hell is the point of this?!" Broly smiles "So I can kill you!" Luke scowels again. "Lousy no good Saiyajin..." Broly nods again. "Yup! That's me!" Luke stands up in defiance. "Yeah, well there's something you should know about me..." Broly blinks. "What's that?" Luke smiles. "This..." Luke proceeds to turn into Il-Shen Lon. Everybody blinks. Luke....er....I mean Il-Shen Lon, laughs. Broly smirks and looks at the crowd. "I say we mob him..." Il-Shen Lon uncharicataristically has his eyes bug out of his head. Then everybody jumps on him. A huge dust cloud forms around them, and when it clears, Il-Shen Lon is dead on the ground, wearing a pink tu-tu. Everybody smiles and flys away.
Broly returns to the Executor and looks at the deck crew. "Well....what do you have to say for yourselves?" The crew remains slient. "Well?!" They all stand at attention, not wanting to be turned into a steaming puddle of puke. "FUCK YOU SIR!!!!" Broly nods. "That's what I thought..." The flight officer looks at him. "Where to sir?" Broly puts his hands on his hips. "First star to the right, and straight.....wait a minute....you people suck. Time to die." Broly starts to slaughter the crew, before anybody's eyes can bug out of their heads. Broly gets done and dusts his hands. "A few mre things to take care of...." He flys out onto the outer hull. Immediately a sqaud of happy robots come up to him. "We'll galdly..." Broly raises his hands. "Die" He launches a huge ki ball which envelops all the happy robots. One of them looks at another one. "I know I should've taken that job with Gero...." They all explode and Broly goes back into the ship. "And one last order of business...." He hits a few random buttons on the control panel, not knowing the first thing about how to do anything on the ship. Red lights start flashing. "Warning....self detonation in three minutes...." Broly smiles. "That's plenty of time." He flys down to the surface of Chikyuu and the all have a barbeque, watching the Executor blow up in the sky.