A/N: The twins' maids always made me laugh. They seem so uninterested and bored with some of the things the twins do, probably because they're used to all their antics. I've never read a fan fiction with these ships before, it kind of made me wonder, what if the twins hooked up with their maids?

I apologize to all the fangirls in advance. I made Hikaru and Kauru out to be man-whores. XD This one focuses mostly on Hikaru, so I tried to keep him in character, but you know….

Also, I don't know the maids' real names, so I just made them up. I did some research, and when I couldn't find the names anywhere, I did some more research and came up with, what I hope, are some legitimate Japanese girls' names.

I don't own Ouran High School Host Club blah blah blah you know the spiel. _


The twins never understood why their parents found it necessary to hire them a pair of twin maids. Apparently, they found it an amusing circumstance, a playful nudge in the stomach, a silly little joke they were all in on. How hysterical. A pair of twins for a pair of twins. In fact, the brothers were not laughing. As far as they were concerned, being twins was only an inside joke for each other. For being twins secluded them together, in a world of their own, where they chose what was funny and what was not; a place where their parents, and anyone else for that matter, had no place butting in. The joke was on them, and Hikaru especially, thought the joke was terrible, because it wasn't funny. At all.

The first time it happened was almost an accident.

Hikaru had woken up long before his brother, a rare incident, and had ended up in their large kitchen, looking for one of the maids, hoping she might make him something to eat. One of them was there, already preparing something. Hikaru was a little bit surprised to say the least. It wasn't often that one girl was seen without the other, just as it wasn't often that he was without his brother. He had never been alone with one of the maids before.

Hikaru, because he felt like amusing himself, was going to sneak up on her, and try to get a scare.

The girl was, at the moment, reaching for something, high on some obscure shelf in the cabinet above her head. Hikaru could easily see that she was straining, standing on her toes, with one pale hand stretching toward the unreachable object, fingers, with purple nail-polish painted on the nails, splayed apart.

Taking pity on her, Hikaru, in a moment of unusual selflessness, rolled his eyes, came up behind her and reached, effortlessly touching his own fingers to the cool surface of what appeared to be a honey jar. Unfortunately, Hikaru ended up startling her, for as he had reached, his chest had made contact with the back of her shoulders, and as she had no idea that he had been behind her, naturally she jumped, pushing into Hikaru, causing his fingers to slip and said honey jar to fall unceremoniously to the shiny, marble-tiled floor.

It hit the marble with a loud crash, and shattered into a million microscopic pieces and about five bigger ones, the brownish-yellow, sticky liquid oozing off of them, and onto the clean floor.

Both occupants of the kitchen stared at the mess, neither making a move. Neither were injured as they had both ducked just in time, Hikaru instinctually pushing the girl's head down, and the now demolished jar had flown miraculously over their heads.

After a moment of silence, in which Hikaru was still clutching the girl's head, he broke it with a sarcastic snort. "Nice job maid. Damn you two are completely useless…"

By "you two" he was of course referring to the girl's twin, who was at the moment not present. Neither he nor Kauru ever reffered the maids by their names. They did not care to, and couldn't tell either girl from the other anyway. The girl recognized his voice as belonging to one of her masters' apparently, for she made no move to turn around and check to see of it was a stranger who had assaulted her.

Either the maid had not paid attention to what he had just said, or more likely, she did not care about his rather rude comment, for instead of making a sharp retort of her own, as he had been hoping for, the girl pulled herself away from him and bent her knees, bringing her body closer to the ground. She began reaching for the larger pieces of glass, aiming to get those out of the way first.

Hikaru watched, and then said, "Don't go reaching for those with your bare hands moron. You wanna cut yourself or something?" He pushed himself off the kitchen counter he had been leaning against, bent down so he was facing her, looked her in the eyes and asked, "Why don't you get the broom and dustpan or whatever it is you guys use to clean stuff?"

The maid looked him in the eyes. They were surprisingly pretty, with gray irises, and Hikaru tried hard to remember the girls' names for the first time. He remembered the first time they had been introduced. Both brothers had been uninterested, and yet he could recall the names both beginning with an S. Shiho and Shika was it?

"I'm not using the broom and dustpan just yet because the honey will get stuck to the twigs in the broom sir." She had a soft voice.

"Which one are you again? Shiho or Shika?"

"Neither. It's Shina and Setsu sir. Where the hell did you get Shiho and Shika from?"

Hikaru was actually taken aback by the fact that she had answered, and a little impressed that she had the feistiness to swear at him when he could easily have her fired. He shrugged in response to her inquiry and watched while she cleaned. It was a moment before he realized she had not answered his question. He still did not know which twin she was.

"Are you Shiho or Shika? Which one?" He tried again.

She stared for a moment. "Setsu. Which one are you?"

Briefly, Hikaru considered making her play the Which One is Hikaru game, but realized he had a better one in mind.

"Hikaru. So, where's Shika?"

"I told you sir, it's Shina, and she's probably making the beds."

Hikaru decided he wanted to play a game. He would offer her a part in it, to see how she would react. Besides it could be fun.

"Hey Shiho."

The girl looked up again. This time, she did not bother to correct the name mistake.

"Want to play a game?"

"What kind of game, sir?" She looked unamused.

"It's easy. All you have to do is kiss me." He expected her to look shocked, a blush to make it's way across her cheeks. No such thing. Frustrated, he waited for her expressionless manner to change.

Shiho shrugged. "Very well, sir." She began to lean forward.

Hikaru sighed, bored already. She was so slow. She was taking too long for his liking. Without warning, he leaned forward sharply, too quick for her to even register, and captured her lips with his own. Setsu went rigid, and then with only the slightest hesitation and a small sigh, she kissed him back.

Against her mouth, he murmured, "I'm Hikaru. Don't call me 'sir'. I don't like it very much."

She did not call him "sir" again for the next five minutes, nor did she call him that later, in the dark, after she had spent the rest of the day avoiding him and pretending nothing had happened, when Hikaru managed to convince Kauru to sleep in his own bed that night.

In the morning, they woke up tangled, limbs strewn haphazardly over torsos and blankets. Hikaru felt a slight twinge of surprise for a second when he opened his eyes and found it was not his brother's arms he had woken up in. Setsu was still sleeping, and so of course, Hikaru prodded her temple with the tips of his fingers in an annoying fashion, until she began to stir.

"Hey. Wake up Shiho." He said bluntly, not even bothering to whisper.

Setsu's eyes opened slowly. He watched while she stared at the ceiling, and then turned those stormy eyes on him.

"It's Setsu. What time is it?" She didn't call him Hikaru. It felt strange to call him that. However, he had said he didn't like being called "sir".

Hikaru lifted himself up on his elbow to read the clock over her shoulder on the nightstand.

"It's 12:00 PM." He shrugged.

Her eyes widened, horrorstricken. She sat up so fast that the sheets stayed airborne for at least three seconds. "I'm late! I always start cleaning at six. And then I help Shina take out the garbage, and then we do your laundry, and at eight I have to-" Her rambling went on, as she climbed out of the bed hastily, extricating herself from Hikaru's arms, and looking everywhere for her clothing.

Hikaru yawned uninterestedly, and watched her with tired, half-lidded eyes. He had to admit, although he was pretending to not be curious, this was actually the first time he had seen her this excited. She had already pulled on her undergarments and was now searching for the blue maid's dress that the Hitachiin's bid her to wear.

"I wonder if my sister was looking for me. She probably has no idea where I am….." The girl was muttering to herself now, and so Hikaru started to tune her out, as he was to lazy to keep straining his ears to figure out what she was saying.

"I should probably-"

"Would you just get back in the damn bed?"

The maid paused in her search to look at him. "Excuse me sir?"

"Oh not the 'sir' thing again. You heard me. I said get back to bed."

"I have things to do. I'm busy."

"You weren't too busy for me yesterday." Hikaru smirked, pleased, as he watched the heat crawl up her face.

"I am now. I like getting paid sir. I have a job to do." Just as quickly as the blush came, it was gone. Hikaru frowned.

"Whatever, I'll pay you later to make up for the money you lose now."

Suddenly, she turned to him, and anger crossed her face. "I beg your pardon, but I'm not a prostitute."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how exactly did you mean it?" Her voice was, as always, calm, but he could feel the fury behind the words. Hikaru kept up his own irritated façade simply for show, but in the back of his mind, he acknowledged his own interest. This game was getting fun.

"Look, it's my fault you came to bed with me anyway, so I'll pay you for it."

"Part of my maid duties is not to sleep with you. I came not because you payed me, but because I wanted to." She said this in the same cool tone, but suddenly, she realized what she'd just admitted, and the familiar flush came back.

Hikaru laughed suddenly. This maid was ridiculous, gloriously ridiculous. He reached for her arm, and grasped it, just as she realized what he was doing and tried to move away. He pulled her close to his position on the bed, leaned down to her ear, and whispered. "So if you wanted me then, what's changed? If you don't want my money, than don't fight so much. It's obvious you'd rather be with me than working anyway. Don't worry about my parents. They don't have to know you weren't working today. I was only going to pay you if you wanted me to. Don't get mad."

The words were spoken between the soft persuasiveness of gently placed kisses.

She turned her face so she could get a good look at those golden cat's eyes before he started pulling at her again. But he didn't have to. She was moving back into the sheets on her own accord, peeling off the layers of clothing she had put on only moments ago as she went.

Hikaru does not remember how it happened the second time. He only knows it was supposed to be a one time deal. Yet, somehow, a few days later, he woke up again in the same pair of warm arms that smelled like sleep. He woke up to the same gray eyes. They stared at each other.

Hikaru only knew it was the same girl because he'd asked her before he'd dragged her to his bed.

"Let's play a game."

"I thought we already played one last night?"

"We did. But that one doesn't count. I want to play a different one."

She sighed. "Very well. What is it?"

"It's called…Let's see…the How Do I Get Shiho-"

"It's Setsu."

"Whatever. How Do I Get Setsu to Laugh game."

She blinked.

"Are you ticklish, Setsu?"

"No."

"You sure?" His grin turned mischievous.

"Very sure."

"Hmmm. Do you like jokes?"

She seemed to consider."…Not really."

Hikaru sat up, slightly miffed. "Fine. How about…I dunno. I give up. I'm bored already."

"How am I not surprised?"

"Let's go back to playing our other game." Hikaru said this in a sly tone of voice, as he began to lean over her.

She didn't protest, but she made no move to reciprocate as he started to touch her.

"How come you're not bored of sleeping with me yet? We've already done it twice."

"I guess you just keep surprising me." Hikaru admitted with a shrug.

His fingers grazed the inside if her upper thigh and she squirmed involuntarily. A smile brushed her lips and then disappeared just as quickly. Hikaru's smirk came back. So, she was ticklish after all, eh? Surprises indeed. What an unusual spot though. He could have fun with this….

He wasn't even sure if it was the same twin the third time. During the night, another pair of players had joined the game. He does not know how his brother knew what was going on, but somehow, he had figured it out, and brought with him that night a familiar face, an identical pair of lips to the ones Hikaru was kissing.

There was such beauty in doubles. A pair of eyes, of lips, of arms.

Of twins.

That night, they all forgot which twin they were, the bed became a mess of confusion. He and Kauru switched partners a few times. When he woke up, Hikaru was uncertain if the girl he ended up with was the girl he had started with.

Kauru and the other maid were still asleep, but once again, in a familiar scene, the girl got up, and started looking for her clothes. This time Hikaru didn't try to bargain with her.

As she pulled on her stockings, Hikaru asked. "Do you know which one I am?"

She stared. "No. I don't. But you don't know which one I am either, do you?"

He smiled, whether it was out of humor, or futility, he wasn't sure.

"No."

She didn't smile.

But did it really matter anyway? Who was who? They had all just become four pieces of the same, symmetrical, beautiful, horrible whole.

By the fourth time, one of the maids had started to call him Hikaru. It was only once, in a moment of great passion, but holding her against him, looking over her, he realized one gray eye was lower than the other, by only the tiniest fraction, but lower nonetheless.

He only knew he was sleeping with her identical copy the next night because this time, both eyes were even. But he had to be certain.

Afterwards, as they lay quietly, he asked her, "Do you know what my name is?"

"Sorry sir, no."

Hikaru smiled.

The fifth time, Hikaru made sure he got the right one. In the evening, after dinner, he went searching for her, and found one girl in the laundry room. She was folding a shirt that looked like one of his. Hikaru cleared his throat.

She turned and looked him in the eye.

"I know which twin you are."

"Really?" She sighed in a very lofty manner. Hikaru could tell she was just barely feigning disinterest.

"Yeah. One of you can't tell me and my brother apart. A few nights ago though, you called me Hikaru."

Her eyes widened slightly. Clearly she had thought he wouldn't notice.

"So? How do you know it was me, sir? It could be my sister that called you by name."

"No. One of your eyes is lower than the other. I know it has to be you. I can tell you apart."

For a second, she looked slightly offended. Apparently, this little fact about her eyes had gone unnoticed to her. Hikaru grinned.

"But what I'm really curious about though, is how you could tell I was Hikaru?" As he asked this, Hikaru slunk over to where she stood, stepping over baskets of laundry and containers of bleach to get to her.

She backed up carefully. "Does it really matter? What does it have to do with anything? I mean really, if I tell you, it will only mean you'll lose interest in our game."

He mock pouted. "But I really want to know…." He whined, coming closer.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Fine. You and your brother do things differently."

"How so?" He gripped her arm. She didn't bother to pull away.

"I don't know sir." She said indifferently. "I guess, when it comes right down to it, you even kiss differently. I could tell the first night your brother came to bed with us that he wasn't the same one I had slept with the first two times. He kept asking me if I was all right through the entire thing. To be honest it got really annoying."

Hikaru began to pull her out of the laundry room. She came willingly. "And?" He prodded her to finish as they climbed the stairs to his bedroom.

"You both kept switching between me and my sister that night, and I suppose it was just a matter of deduction. I knew the first one I had slept with was Hikaru, and that the other twin acted different than the first one and therefore he had to be Kauru. Simple as that."

"So you're the first girl I slept with. What the hell's your name again?"

"Setsu."

"Right." He had a feeling he might remember it this time. "So Setsu, is your sister ticklish in the same places you are?"

Setsu flushed. "I don't know what you're talking about." He chose that as a "no". Oh well. If she didn't know what he was talking about, he'd just have to remind her.

They were outside his door now.

"So, what does this change between us?"

Hikaru shrugged. They both seemed to do that a lot. "Not sure."

Setsu took the initiative and pushed the door open, and he took her hand to pull her inside, toward the bed.

It really did change things, and they knew it. For now though, whatever those things were, it just wasn't clear.

However, tonight might be the beginning of something new.


A/N: I apologize if this was confusing. I was dealing with two pairs of twins so that was bound to happen, but if you need something explained you can put it in your review and I'll be happy to answer.