Author's Note: I began to write this before I actually saw the "Mysterious Mysteries"
episode. I didn't know that Dib actually went on the show at the time and it isn't the same
situation as what was in the episode, so I'm not technically stealing it from the episode.
Believe me!!!
Disclaimer!!!!: I do not own Invader Zim or any of its delightfully quirky characters. All
are property of the god-like Jhonen Vasquez! I'm simply expressing my appreciation for
his work in fanfic form.
One fine afternoon, Gir was sitting on the couch, drinking a yummy chocolate-
bubblegum milkshake, and watching his favorite show. Yup, you guessed it; the Scary
Monkey Show was on.
After that angry, scary monkey growled and grimaced for a half an hour and the
end credits rolled by, a strange voice caught Gir's attention. This mysterious speaker who
was dressed in a badly constructed monkey suit spoke to Gir in a way that no one else
ever had.
"It's the Scary Monkey Show Essay Contest!" this odd voice screamed. "Send us
an essay of 100 words or less on why you love the Scary Monkey Show! The grand prize
winner will get a trip for two to meet the Scary Monkey himself at our studios in
California. All essays must be in by this Friday."
The channel went to a commercial and Gir sat in a trance. "Must obey the monkey
man..."
Gir stood up and walked zombie-like to the toilet where he flushed himself down
into the lair. Gir walked in Zim's direction and, in his trance, bumped into the busy Irken.
"Gir! What is it?" he exclaimed.
"What's an essay?" asked the robot.
"An essay? Did you say...an essay? Oh no!" Zim shuddered at the thought. "I
remember those vile things..."
*Flashback to the previous week at Skool*
The creepy Ms. Bitters stood in the front of the class, addressing the class as she
normally did.
"Today, class, we're going to do something horrible. In fact, this may be the most
horrible thing that you've ever done. You are going to write essays."
The class gasped in horror at the terrible sounding word. Zim chirped up with a
question, like he normally did.
"What is this...essay...you speak of?"
"I've heard of them before..." Dib's voice rang through Zim's ears. "It's when you
write and write about nothing forever! It never ends!"
"That's correct, Dib," said Bitters. "Now take these papers and write an essay of
100,000 words or more on corn. Begin."
Zim lifted his arms to the sky. "NOOOOOO!!!!"
*Back to the present situation*
"Essays are pure EVIL!" Zim spoke.
"I like evil!" replied Gir.
"Why do you ask, anyway, Gir?"
"The Monkey Man on TV told me to write an essay so that I can visit the Scary
Monkey."
"That's dumb like a moose, Gir! Nobody ever wins those things."
There was a long silence before Gir finally spoke again in his over cheerful voice.
"Can I have some paper?"
"Gahh! Fine!" the Invader said, finally admitting defeat. "But go away now and
stop bothering me! There's work to be done!"
Gir went back upstairs and began to think (which was a first for him).
"What do I wanna write...?"
~Meanwhile...~ (copyright of Jhonen Vasquez)
...at the Membrane house, Gaz was scooping some ice cream into a bowl while
playing her Game Slave. Dib walked by and grabbed the entire cartoon of creamy
goodness and gave a quick "thanks, Gaz!" as he left. Gaz fumed for about three seconds,
but regained her sanity because she has made it to the final level of "Vampire Piggy
Hunter".
Dib fell down onto the couch and turned on the television.
"Just in time for Mysterious Mysteries!" he said cheerfully.
Dib sat, basking in the warm glow of his beloved show, for the entire episode.
When the show was over, a contest advertisement, similar to the one that Gir saw,
appeared on the screen.
"Do you love Mysterious Mysteries? Would you do anything, even kill your own
friends, to see the Mysterious Mysteries studio? Well, then here's your chance! Write an
essay of 1,000 words or more on why you can't get enough of the mysterious. If you win,
we'll send you and a friend to the Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery studios!
Entries must be in by Friday."
"Friday!? That's today!" exclaimed Dib after he peeled himself away from the
television screen. "I gotta get to work on this essay! I'd give anything to visit the
studio..." Dib paused for a moment. "...And it would be a perfect opportunity to expose
Zim and his stupid evil secret to the entire world! Mwahahahaha- *cough cough*
-hahaha!"
The large headed boy dashed upstairs, the tail of his black trench coat flying behind
him. He dove into his room and turned on his computer. Starting up a basic word
processing program, he tossed around ideas in his head. "What do I wanna write...?"
***Does it look like there's any potential in this bored-during-study-class idea? Should I
bother continuing? Am I as dumb as a moose? Please review with anything that your little
heart desires!
episode. I didn't know that Dib actually went on the show at the time and it isn't the same
situation as what was in the episode, so I'm not technically stealing it from the episode.
Believe me!!!
Disclaimer!!!!: I do not own Invader Zim or any of its delightfully quirky characters. All
are property of the god-like Jhonen Vasquez! I'm simply expressing my appreciation for
his work in fanfic form.
One fine afternoon, Gir was sitting on the couch, drinking a yummy chocolate-
bubblegum milkshake, and watching his favorite show. Yup, you guessed it; the Scary
Monkey Show was on.
After that angry, scary monkey growled and grimaced for a half an hour and the
end credits rolled by, a strange voice caught Gir's attention. This mysterious speaker who
was dressed in a badly constructed monkey suit spoke to Gir in a way that no one else
ever had.
"It's the Scary Monkey Show Essay Contest!" this odd voice screamed. "Send us
an essay of 100 words or less on why you love the Scary Monkey Show! The grand prize
winner will get a trip for two to meet the Scary Monkey himself at our studios in
California. All essays must be in by this Friday."
The channel went to a commercial and Gir sat in a trance. "Must obey the monkey
man..."
Gir stood up and walked zombie-like to the toilet where he flushed himself down
into the lair. Gir walked in Zim's direction and, in his trance, bumped into the busy Irken.
"Gir! What is it?" he exclaimed.
"What's an essay?" asked the robot.
"An essay? Did you say...an essay? Oh no!" Zim shuddered at the thought. "I
remember those vile things..."
*Flashback to the previous week at Skool*
The creepy Ms. Bitters stood in the front of the class, addressing the class as she
normally did.
"Today, class, we're going to do something horrible. In fact, this may be the most
horrible thing that you've ever done. You are going to write essays."
The class gasped in horror at the terrible sounding word. Zim chirped up with a
question, like he normally did.
"What is this...essay...you speak of?"
"I've heard of them before..." Dib's voice rang through Zim's ears. "It's when you
write and write about nothing forever! It never ends!"
"That's correct, Dib," said Bitters. "Now take these papers and write an essay of
100,000 words or more on corn. Begin."
Zim lifted his arms to the sky. "NOOOOOO!!!!"
*Back to the present situation*
"Essays are pure EVIL!" Zim spoke.
"I like evil!" replied Gir.
"Why do you ask, anyway, Gir?"
"The Monkey Man on TV told me to write an essay so that I can visit the Scary
Monkey."
"That's dumb like a moose, Gir! Nobody ever wins those things."
There was a long silence before Gir finally spoke again in his over cheerful voice.
"Can I have some paper?"
"Gahh! Fine!" the Invader said, finally admitting defeat. "But go away now and
stop bothering me! There's work to be done!"
Gir went back upstairs and began to think (which was a first for him).
"What do I wanna write...?"
~Meanwhile...~ (copyright of Jhonen Vasquez)
...at the Membrane house, Gaz was scooping some ice cream into a bowl while
playing her Game Slave. Dib walked by and grabbed the entire cartoon of creamy
goodness and gave a quick "thanks, Gaz!" as he left. Gaz fumed for about three seconds,
but regained her sanity because she has made it to the final level of "Vampire Piggy
Hunter".
Dib fell down onto the couch and turned on the television.
"Just in time for Mysterious Mysteries!" he said cheerfully.
Dib sat, basking in the warm glow of his beloved show, for the entire episode.
When the show was over, a contest advertisement, similar to the one that Gir saw,
appeared on the screen.
"Do you love Mysterious Mysteries? Would you do anything, even kill your own
friends, to see the Mysterious Mysteries studio? Well, then here's your chance! Write an
essay of 1,000 words or more on why you can't get enough of the mysterious. If you win,
we'll send you and a friend to the Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery studios!
Entries must be in by Friday."
"Friday!? That's today!" exclaimed Dib after he peeled himself away from the
television screen. "I gotta get to work on this essay! I'd give anything to visit the
studio..." Dib paused for a moment. "...And it would be a perfect opportunity to expose
Zim and his stupid evil secret to the entire world! Mwahahahaha- *cough cough*
-hahaha!"
The large headed boy dashed upstairs, the tail of his black trench coat flying behind
him. He dove into his room and turned on his computer. Starting up a basic word
processing program, he tossed around ideas in his head. "What do I wanna write...?"
***Does it look like there's any potential in this bored-during-study-class idea? Should I
bother continuing? Am I as dumb as a moose? Please review with anything that your little
heart desires!
