a/n: no semblance of a plot. It just wanted to be written. Song is 'Playing God' by Paramore.
and i'm calling Rachel/Matt/Mike friendship "Rake". Patent-pending biznitches!
enjoy. and review. please review.
Rachel Berry had had enough.
Before Sectionals she had been trying to be different, attempting to tamp down on her ambition and determination so that she could conform and be accepted within the group. All her efforts had gained was her fellow club members offering her up as a sacrificial lamb for the Glee club photograph and Kurt giving her the worst makeover alive so that he could remove her from the Finn Hudson equation.
Now Rachel was in no way naïve. She didn't think that her endeavors to ingratiate herself would result in an overnight success. She had been prepared to accept the inevitable period whereby her peers would slowly come around and see that she was just someone who wanted to be wanted.
Instead, as she watched Mercedes and Kurt lean over and whisper to each other while shooting her brief glances, all Rachel had gotten was more alienation. And quite frankly she was sick of it.
She didn't deserve this, to be on the outside looking in.
So she had gone to Matt and Mike, who ironically had proven quite receptive to her offers of friendship. It amazed her somewhat that these two boys, who she had barely even acknowledged before Glee, seemed to enjoy her company. They had even stood up for her once or twice when Kurt had made a biting comment about her personality.
'Oh Rach, we are so in,' Mike had said when she proposed her idea.
'Really?' Rachel remembered feeling surprised that they would accede to her proposal so quickly. 'I'm sure that certain members will not feel entirely receptive towards me after. And I'm sure you both will be viewed as accomplices due to being part of-'
'Rachel,' Matt interrupted her, placing an arm over her shoulder. 'You're our friend and frankly? This has been a long time coming.'
Now here she stood on the makeshift stage, bouncing her feet nervously as Matt sat behind the drums and Mike fiddled with his guitar. She had of course sought out Mr Schue and received his permission, though her account of why she needed to perform this particular piece had been deliberately sketchy.
'What is this? Another attempt at stealing the spotlight?' Kurt's tone was caustic as he seated himself in the front, Mercedes chuckling as she dropped into the seat next to him. Rachel pressed her lips tightly together.
'Well at least you aren't dressing like a grandmother and toddler at the same time. How you manage that is beyond me,' Kurt continued, Artie snickering alongside Mercedes. Tina gave them a disapproving look and flashed Rachel a smile which the girl reciprocated. It hadn't escaped Rachel's notice that Artie had taken to ignoring the Asian's existence some time ago and the two had developed a tentative friendship that Rachel was hopeful would blossom with time.
'Alright RuPaul, let's get this over with,' Santana flounced in, seating herself in the front as well. Since Quinn had been removed, the Latina had upped the ante on making Rachel's life a living hell. Apparently being on the same team, so to speak, hadn't done anything to diminish the antagonism that had prevailed before.
'Yeah Man Hands, let's hurry it up,' Quinn sneered from beside her friend, who gave her an approving half-smile. Rachel wondered why Quinn thought she needed to suck up to Santana so much, though if she had to guess it would involve recapturing the crown after the baby was born. Finn sent her a weary smile from behind the cheerleaders.
'What's up Berry?' Puck breathed into her ear and Rachel twisted around, placing a hand against her heart dramatically.
'Noah. Don't sneak up on me like that!'
Puck simply raked his eyes up and down her frame and Rachel shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks. She plucked nervously at the tight grey tank top and skinny black jeans tucked into a pair of Converse sneakers.
'Nice ass,' he said with a straight face. Rachel rolled her eyes.
'Really Noah. Must you be so uncouth?'
'Hey man,' Mike interjected, slapping Puck on the back. Puck returned the greeting and Rachel smiled seeing the three interact as Matt wandered over. Mike and Matt had proved a godsend after Babygate, sticking by Puck even under Finn's hostile glares. Her ex-boyfriend had been taken aback at first but had gradually come to be thankful for their company, despite the fact that he hadn't voiced this fact out loud.
He had also been spending a lot of time with Rachel. She wasn't quite sure how exactly, but it seemed that most times when she turned around he just seemed to be…there. She had chalked it up to his rather limited options for companionship but secretly reveled in having his undivided attention. Noah, she mused, was sweet when he wanted to be and while admittedly he had knocked up his best friend's girlfriend Rachel found it admirable that Puck had wanted to shoulder the responsibility.
Not that Quinn has made it any easier, Rachel thought darkly recalling the way the blonde girl had been being deliberately reticent in sharing information about the baby with Puck.
'Just take a seat Noah,' Rachel said, pinning Quinn with a hard stare. 'I'm sure you'll be thoroughly entertained.'
Puck cocked an eyebrow but shrugged, slumping down into his seat at the back while gracing her with his complete attention.
Seeing that everyone was seated, Rachel cleared her throat. No one took notice and Rachel resisted the urge to stamp her feet. The shrill, piercing whistle that Mike emitted silenced them effectively however.
'Thank you Michael,' Rachel said, grinning at him. Turning back towards the stone-faced audience in front of her, she hardened her features. 'I've been wanting to convey a message to all of you and since I believe music is the best vehicle for that, I've prepared a piece that I think says everything I want to say.'
'Doubtful,' Kurt muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear. Sucking in a breath, Rachel nodded towards Mike and Matt. She raised up three fingers, counting them off. As the music came on, she felt the words overwhelm her.
Can't make my own decisions
Or make any with precision
Well maybe you should tie me up
So I don't go where you don't want me
Rachel stepped down next to Kurt and Mercedes, tossing her hair and holding the microphone close to her lips as she sang.
You say that I been changing
that I'm not just simply aging
Yeah how could that be logical?
Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat
You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror
If God's the game that you're playing
Well we must get more acquainted
Because it has to be so lonely
To be the only one who's holy
Rachel sent Quinn a meaningful glance after the last line.
It's just my humble opinion
But it's one that I believe in
You don't deserve a point of view
If the only thing you see is you
Santana rolled her eyes when Rachel stopped in front of her.
You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror
This is the last second chance
(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm half as good as it gets
(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm on both sides of the fence
(I'll point you to the mirror)
Without a hint of regret
I'll hold you to it
I know you don't believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror
I know you won't believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror
Rachel ended on stage, shaking her hair out of her face. The rest of the Glee club members sat still, all sharing confused glances with each other.
'Kurt, grow up,' Rachel finally said. 'I fail to see why you feel the need to tear me down at every opportunity. The only competition you have right now is Quinn.'
Kurt opened his mouth but Rachel flashed her eyes over to Mercedes, dismissing him.
'Mercedes, while I understand why you want the solos that you do, I think all of us would appreciate if you could maybe find it within yourself to separate yourself from the Siamese twin mentality that you appear to have developed with Kurt.'
The black girl looked outraged.
'Santana and Quinn? While being grade A bitches seems to be ingrained into your DNA, I'm going to save my breath. Though I will say that I in no way resemble a drag queen. You can simply ask Noah if you don't believe me,' Rachel said, smirking.
'And Artie? Quit being such a dick to Tina.'
'Excuse me-' Quinn started but Rachel held up a hand.
'I'm Rachel Berry and I'm going to be a star,' she said. 'I'm sick and tired of being your punching bag. Whether you like it or not, I am Glee and you need me. I'm not putting up and shutting up any longer. I wanted to be your friend but clearly you don't deserve my time and effort any more. So I suggest treating me with a bit more respect because,' Rachel trailed off while making sure to make eye contact with everyone in the room.
'The bitch is back.'
Cue the patented dramatic Berry stormout. Except this time when she walked out her head was held high.
'Hey Rachel!' She felt Puck's hand enclose around her wrist. Now that the anger was gone she could feel the hurt she had kept a handle on begin to seep over her skin.
'I can't make a dramatic exit if you interrupt me,' she chastised and was horrified to hear her voice waver.
What she didn't expect was Puck to press his lips against hers.
'What…What was that?' She whispered. Puck tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
'I respect you,' was all he offered in response but the tender look in his eyes made her breath hitch.
'Thank you,' she replied tentatively. His fingers were tracing the curve of her neck.
'I'm sorry for ever making you feel like you aren't worth it. I know what that's like,' the self-loathing in his tone was hard to miss.
Rachel clasped onto his hand, tightening her grip.
'I think you're worth it,' she said it softly but truthfully. Tipping her toes, she placed a soft kiss on his jaw.
'Dude, you should totally see them right now!' Mike's loud voice made them jump apart. 'It's like…' He mimed his head exploding with added sound effects.
'Up top,' Matt prompted, raising a hand which Rachel awkwardly slapped her own against.
'Group hug!' Mike exclaimed, dragging Puck along with him. Rachel soon found herself sandwiched in between three boys, aware of Puck's hand on her waist as she pressed her cheek against Matt's chest.
She laughed, feeling something warm inside.
It was nice to be wanted.
She felt Puck squeeze the spot just below the waistband of her jeans. Twisting around, Rachel saw him wink.
In more ways than one.
