Mononoke's Men of Genius

Bud Light presents: Real Men of Genius.

(Real Men of Geeeenius!)

Today we salute you, Mr. Random Samurai Horsemen.

(Mr. Random Samurai Horsemen!)

It's Feudal-era Japan, and you, a lone horse soldier in Lord Asano's army, are constantly facing the threat of horrific death. Every day your very well-being is uncertain, because even though you're on a horse six feet of wood with a sharpened point can quickly send you to the grave.

(War is Hell!)

What's more, word from the front is that the attack force sent to capture an ironworks is being held off by a band of housewives wielding guns.

(So emasculating it hurts!)

With so much going on in your head you and some of your comrades spot a fleeing youth riding atop a large red elk, and you and your comrades decide to chase that fuzzy beast to help clear your thoughts.

(What does he feed that thing anyway?)

After some chasing you hit pay-dirt: That overgrown elk gets hit and the boy is on foot, making for an easy takedown. But no sooner do you think this when he whips out a bow and lops off your buddy's head with a single arrow. Making the first rational decision in a long while you turn around and high tail out of there, because no random boy with worth losing your head over. Literally.

(Oh f**k that!)

So crack open a Bud Light savvy warrior, because staying alive in such a brutal time is something to brag about, especially when crazy anime BS is thrown in to make more trouble for your already taxing military career. The price of losing one's honor has never seemed so unimportant.

(Mr. Random Samurai Horsemen!)