Note:

I don't own Star Wars, or anything associated with it. Nor do I own any show, or phrase made reference within this story.

Also if you have strong religious convictions you may find this insulting….. Thus I strongly suggest that you do not read it, and apologize to anyone who is insulted. I don't mean to demean any religious views that anyone may have. I myself hold to no particular religion, and anything said within this writing is, well, just for a laugh…..

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The Book of Genesis

In the beginning there was nothing. But more importantly, there were two nothings.

Then there was god. To the first nothing he travelled, and from this nothingness he spun the universe in which we now dwell. And for a time, all was good. However, god also created chaos theory, which provides that such a thing cannot last.

Thus it was that a disharmony grew within the universe. This discordance gradually grew in power, until one day, a taskforce of Gods creations rose against him, and attempted to destroy their creator.

Enraged by their actions, the almighty turned his power against them and consumed them. Despite the great power of the rebels, almost all were eaten. The few survivors that there were fled the battle to the only power that could protect them from God, they fled to the safety of Chuck Norris. Here they were doomed to wait out eternity; forever failures.

The other, less fortunate warriors were not privileged enough to retain their consciousness; but rather were bent to natures will within the body of god. Inside the lord, the millions of soldiers were fused together, into one entity, an entity of pure power and energy. This being, though of great power, had not the capacity for thought; and thus was not able to identify between good and evil. It was a great power, with no sense of responsibility.

But the path of nature was not yet complete, and eventually this new entity was passed from gods system as wind, a cosmic energy wind, of great power. The Lord viewed this surprising new creation with great shock, having never passed a wind of that magnitude. He feared this wind, and dreaded the effect it may have on his universe. In desperation he contemplated destroying the wind, but, as it was borne directly from himself, and was thus arguably his son, he could not bring himself to destroy it. So it was, that instead de banished his gas to the other universe, where it could do no evil, but, by the same hand, no good.

But lo, in his actions did the Lord make an error. Unaware was he, that in casting off the wind, he banished all that he had passed. Thus it was, that also exiled to this universe was a form of bacterial life, which would later become known as Midi-chlorians. With the inadvertent aid of the divine gas, this bacteria was able to evolve, and became able to control the wind. With it they created galaxies, and to these galaxies they gave the gift of life.

For despite being evolved life forms, able to sustain themselves in the nothingness of space; they yearned for their meager beginnings, as bacteria in the entrails of some host species. And so they created life, so as to have vessels in which they could dwell. However, the Midi-chlorians not only lived within these life forms, they accidently provided them with a gateway to the wind. A channel, with which their host body could, if enough Midi-chlorians were present, understand and even utilize the power of the wind.

After a time it came to pass that the life forms became aware of this ability, and even the presence of the Midi-chlorians. An order of individuals with such awareness was formed, an order of individuals who devoted their lives to the prosperity of all living things, becoming defenders of Justice and Peace. They named themselves the Jedi, and named god's wind, the Force. Once more, for a time, all was good.

But once again Chaos theory disrupted the peace. For from this order sprouted a new, and, eventually, equally powerful order known as the Sith. The Sith were devoted to what they called the Dark side of the Force, and devoted their lives to the pursuit of self improvement. With the force, the Sith committed horrendous deeds, evil deeds, actions which tainted the entire universe. And so the Jedi fought them, to put an end to their corruption. Unfortunately though they were too evenly matched, and neither side could gain an advantage over the other that was more than fleeting. And so the battle waged on, with no foreseeable conclusion.

The Midi-chlorians were much angered by this war, and indeed by the very existence of the Sith, even though they the Midi-chlorians within the Sith were forced to do their bidding. For once inside the host body, there was no escape for the bacteria, and become driven by one instinct, to keep the host body alive. This instinct completely overrode their distaste for their host's actions, and resulted in them providing all the power they could to their masters.

Knowing this, the Midi-chlorians came up with a plan to rid the world of the Sith forever. The first stage was the creation of a prophecy, telling the world of a 'chosen one' who would bring balance to the force. The next step was to create such an individual; and so they found a suitable mother and created within her a life, into which they poured more than 20 thousand of their number. In the hope that, perhaps this child would be able to cleanse the galaxy of the Sith infestation.

However, the Midi-chlorians were aware of how easily corrupted to the dark side the life forms they had created were. As a result, they did not expect this plan of theirs to succeed. It was, in reality a distraction from their real plan, one which they implemented hundreds of years before the birth of the 'chosen one', a plan to create the ultimate Jedi Warrior.

550 years before the birth of the 'chosen one' all of the free Midi-chlorians in the galaxy collected together, in order to create the ultimate warrior. Many billions of Midi-chlorians went into the creation of this being, for that was what they were doing – creating. This life form was not to be born from some other being, or even evolved from some microscopic life form. No, this being was a creature consisting only of the Midi-chlorian, it was, the Alpha-Chlorian. The ultimate gateway for the force, a cumulating point for trillions of years of knowledge; the single most powerful being in the universe. The Alpha-chlorian named itself, Samuel L. Jackson.

He spent no time as a child, but rather was initially, and always will be 100% raw man. His first step destroyed the universe in a wave of his awesomeness. But the Jackson could not permit such a thing to not be. With an almighty roar, Jackson channeled the power of the force as it had never been used before, and returned the universe to how it was. From that moment on Jackson restrained himself, so as not to destroy the universe, or anyone else, from his mere presence. But his awesomeness was greater even than his own abilities, alowing a time a tiny sliver of his awesomeness leaked out. This tiny sliver was enough to make all around him desire to be like him so badly that it killed them, from sheer lust for what they could not be.

This angered the Jackson, so in his wisdom, he reached out to the force and used it, it again. Calling on all his power he released a mighty war cry, "Enough is enough! I'm sick of these motherf*****g wimps, in this motherf*****g Universe." This cry spread throughout the universe, the jedi felt it, Yoda wass knocked of his chair, and an awesomeness buffer was instilled within every particle in the universe, so as to allow the universe to handle Jackson's awesome factor.

Samuel L. Jackson was now free to pursue his goals, unrestrained in his awesomeness. Where once his presence brought death and destruction, it now brought life, love and peace. And so it was that he began his quest, by travelling from one side of the galaxy to the other, making sure that he knew all there was to know about the galaxy and the force.

300 years it took him, and at the end of it, he knew that he had learnt nothing. However he had been expecting this, for even before he began he knew that he knew everything. Why then did he undertake this quest, you ask. It was because the Jackson was humble in his knowledge, and wanted to prove to the universe that he had humility to rival his awesomeness. And so he spent 300 years in a humble state in a vain attempt to meet his own awesomeness. At the end though, he knew that the task had been too great, and that he could never hope to match his own awesomeness with his own humility.

And so the Jackson faced his first and only defeat; defeat to himself. Saddened, the Jackson decided that it was time to begin the move against his enemies, the Sith.

The Jackson decided that his first task should be to join the Jedi order, and see how the Jedi tended to their duty of peace keeping. To see how the so called, Jedi masters, handled the Sith. So he travelled onto the Jedi temple itself, to speak with the Jedi masters, and join their ancient order. When he got there however, he found something that he had not been expecting.

On his arrival to the grand temple, he was met by the entire Jedi council, who immediately swore their undying allegiance to him. It turned out that they had felt the disturbance that the force made in the Jackson. Inside the temple he found statues of himself beyond number, being used as the representative of all the values of the Jedi order. This too, angered the mighty Jackson, for he did not want to be the Jedi order but rather become a Jedi, thus did their dedication pose to him a problem.

He knew however what it was that he had to do. Once more he called upon the force like no other ever had, and he used it to wipe all trace of himself from the Jedi order, and from the minds of the Jedi. He even changed the size of his impact on the force, so that he was represented as only a ripple in the force, equal to that of the council leader, Yoda. He then plundered Yoda's mind, to discover all that it meant to be a Jedi, and all that was required of him to join the order.

With this general removal of knowledge, and his own personal gain of knowledge, the Jackson stole away, so as to meditate on the Jedi way, and train himself to be the ultimate Jedi. For another 200 years did the Jackson meditate on what it meant to be a Jedi, until he himself had mastered all of the ethics and practices of the Jedi, and learnt which arts were to be forbidden to him.

After this time, the only thing left was to master the arts of the lightsaber.

His had learnt, from his meditation, that lightsabers came in many shapes and forms, and that thus his first task should be to create one that suited him, in both size and shape. For anyone else this would require experimentation with hundreds of different lightsaber types. The Jackson however had a far more efficient method of choosing his lightsaber. He would simply weave it from midi-chlorians, knowing that it would shape itself, into the form that was most representative of his power.

And so he did, resuming the lotus position, the Jackson closed his eyes and for a final time drew to him the power of the force in ways previously unknown. He concentrated it in both himself and the space in front of him, so as to create a sword which would mimic his true inner self. The force drained to him as whirlpool, so much did he summon that the grass on which he sat began to burn, and the ground crack from the sheer force.

For a time it seemed nothing happened, but then the world began to shudder, lightning filled the sky and wind typhooned across the plain. Before him typhoon and lightning met in a sonic blast and a dazzle of blinding light. The light cleared, and eventually sight returned. Before him sat the base of his lightsaber, but it was like no other lightsaber, and could clearly only be wielded by the Jackson, for the base of the lightsaber split the sky with its magnitude. A hundred thousand stories high, the base of the sword, promised a blade of unimaginable destructive power.

But the sword was too great, too dangerous, and too powerful. It collapsed under the weight of its power. It was drawn in on itself, folding in to its central point, drawing in with it the nearby landscape, until finally it could be seen no more, and a sudden all consuming darkness fell across the land.

For five years the planet lived in eternal night. The natives died, the plants died, the land itself died, but a new sword was born; a sword of justice. When finally the darkness lifted, before the still motionless Jackson, suspended in mid air, was a lightsaber seemingly regular in dimension. It however was different from all other blades; its power was such that it emitted light of the purest purple. In his wisdom Jackson, deemed the sacrifice that the planet had made to be worth it.

Secretly though the sword housed another secret. The moment that the Jackson laid hands on it, a strange feeling filled him, a feeling of completeness. With the addition of this lightsaber he was whole. Without it he was as nothing. No longer was he Samuel L. Jackson; but rather a new infinitely more superior being.

This new being needed a name. Reaching forth he called his true name forth from the warp. The galaxy sung with the discovery of the name. He became known as Mace Windu; the only name that was awesome enough his new form.

With his new power and with his new blade, Mace Windu was ready to take on the Universe.

Thus ends the book of Genesis

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Reviews are welcome, encouraged even; I'm more than willing to take criticism, so long as I can then go onto use that criticism to improve my writing….

Fier Dragon