Final Fantasy Mayhem

Chapter I: The Summoning

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any game in the Final Fantasy series, or Radiata Stories, because if I did, then I would. They belong solely to Square Enix

Yuna looked down from the deck of the airship. The ruins and people seemed so small from up so high. She was having personal problems, and couldn't talk to anyone in particular. Rikku was too busy calling her ex-boo Gippal 24/7 and Lulu was on her period like ur-day now, so Yuna decided to go to someone else with her problem. She sat up, grabbing her Nirvana from her side, and getting into summoning position. Yuna began to twirl her staff, slowly, then harder as she concentrated on summoning two aeons at once. Everything became colder for a minute, and Yuna began to see flowers budding around her feet. She opened her arm and looked towards the sky to see three different colored lights descending, as giant pillars of ice fell in front of her.

Shiva now stood in front of her, throwing her cape off and handing it to Yuna.

"Why do you always give this to me? It's not like I can wear it. Just look at what I'm already wearing! Don't you think I clash enough, Shiva? God! You're soooooo hurtful," Yuna sobbed as she scolded the blue entity in front of her.

"It's not her fault. It's just part of the summoning sequence. Damn Yuna, why you always gotta be such a little bitch?" The preying mantis woman behind her said as she got closer to Shiva and her summoner.

"You guys always pick on me! I'm the female lead! I deserve some respect, Sandy!" Yuna told her aggressor.

Yuna and the girls sat down in a circle and put their hands in a circle.

"Yuna!"

"Shiva!"

"Sandy!"

"Mindy!"

"Cindy!"

The girls yelled out their names, the last of them being said in a somewhat manly and gruff voice followed by an inaudible comment about a finger in the pudding.

In unison, the girls raised their hands up and exclaimed, "Wonder Twin powers activate!"

Mindy whispered to her eldest sister, "Why do we always do this? There are five of us, and it's not like we can change into anything."

Sandy gave Mindy a silent sigh. "Just humor her. She may be a whiny dumbass, but she is the female lead this time around."

"Can't we just go back to Final Fantasy IV? X sucks! I mean, we moved like one whole letter down the alphabet and got out 'I' taken away. I wanna talk to the director!"

Mindy was so upset, she walked offset and flew up to the director, buzzing horrible swears in over 17 different languages, courtesy of the fine translators at Square Enix.

The other four girls watched in shock as Mindy was carried off by security into her dressing room. All they could hear was a loud scream, and then a fading buzzing sound. Moments later, Seymour came out of the dressing room in a very revealing bee costume, which looked like it wouldn't even fit Mindy. He walked onto the set and took a seat next between Shiva and Cindy. The girls looked at him with ridiculous faces on, to which Seymour replied, "Take off those ridiculous masks."

The girls took off their masks and asked him what was going on.

"Mindy's taking a… vacation… yeah, that's it, vacation. I'm gonna be filling in until she gets back."

"But I thought we had a big boss battle scheduled during scene 46?" Yuna asked him

"No, they replaced it with the bloopers from when Anima turned upside down during her overdrive."

The girls all began to giggle, seeming to agree that the memory was quite funny. They all regained their professionalism quickly, and the director yelled action.

"Where were we…? Oh yeah! Shape of… daughter of Braska!" Yuna shouted.

Shiva hit her head with her palm and pulled Yuna back down before she embarrassed herself further.

"Why'd you summon us Yuna?" Seymour asked in a childlike and girly voice.

Yuna fought the urge to laugh and told them about her problem.

Cindy's mouth opened wide and she stood up to exclaim, "Oh no guurll friennnd," emphasizing the 'd' in friend.

The aeons began murmuring, agreeing that someone was goin down.

They began drawing up plans on how to exact revenge on Yuna's problem, when Shiva said, "Wait! I sense a disturbance in the force."

Just then, a large vortex looking type thing appeared in the sky.

Seymour let out a very girly scream, followed by him yelling, "Oh my god! It's a big ass vortex looking type thingy in the sky!"

"Get a hold of yourself Mindy!" Sandy yelled in Seymour's ear as she slapped him upside the head and dropped him to the floor while repeatedly stepping on his back with her heels. "We can't afford to lose focus now! We will survive! I forgot the rest of the words, but I still know we will survive!"

Seymour's eyes were now all whirly like in those anime where people's eyes get all swirly. The conscious girls looked up at the vortex thingy and began to hear music coming out of it.

"Can you hear that?" Cindy turned to ask Shiva. Shiva nodded her head and turned to Sandy.

"It's sounds like astigmatism" Yuna said with a very serious face.

Sandy looked like she was about to snap again, when Shiva corrected her and said, "No… it sounds more like doo doo doo doo doo, SEPHIROTH... or something."