He thinks things would have gone a whole differently if Alaric were still here, still alive. Shit, everything would probably have gone a whole lot differently. If the witches weren't so crazy, so spiteful, so not able to follow the rules of kindergarten and mind their own damn business, things would have been better. Definitely. And if magic rings could have just been magical and not homicidal creating douchebags then Ric would still be here, and Elena. Well. Yeah.

Things would have just gone differently.

No one would have had to be saved from drowning because Ric would have known what Dumb Blue Eyes was going to do and stopped it.

There would have been no rescue; no harrowing sorrow; no Meredith trying to apologize but not apologize, because yeah this is bad, but it could be worse because dead not dead is better than dead dead; and if Ric were here none of those conversations would have ever happened and they'd be at the bar toasting to another apocalypse averted. And he would have been able to make some snide remark about "sure the kids can save the world but I doubt they're getting into college."

Ric would have gotten them all into college. With his professory ways.

If he was still here.

And they were still kids.

And Ric would have been able to explain to super duper going to kill all the vampires hunter that there were different kinds of vampires. There were good ones and bad ones and grey ones and evil only on Monday ones and Ric would have convinced him to come to Sunday dinners. And Jeremy would have had two hunter mentors to learn from, and gain from; instead of just him and Dumb Blue Eyes and an x-box game, because he doesn't know how Ric ever taught anything to anyone for more than ten minutes.

Ric would have showed him how; how to be patient and understanding, and how to broaden their minds so they could absorb and absorb and know. Ric could have showed him.

Blondie would have gotten to have her perfect senior year with a themed dance every week and Lockwood would have had a true ally to turn to when the worst hybrid plan ever (this one's even worse than last weeks) started to get hatched. And Ric would have sniffed out how creepy Professor open up your mind, Bonnie was and shut it down. Would have taken her to true sages of magic, would have made her powerful in a greater way, and would have made her study for her physics final too. Dumb Blue Eyes would have had a true role model to turn to.

Carol would still be alive, he knows. If Ric were still alive. If life even pretended to be fair.

He'd still feel alive if Ric was still here. If his best friend was still here. If the only good guy left in this town of grey skewed decisions and try again tomorrows and maybe next years was still around, things would have been different. Things would have been better.

Stefan. Elena. Him. Dumb Blue Eyes. Blondie. Lockwood. Glenda the Good Witch. Baby Gilbert. They'd all have been better. All would have been safer.

It's his fault. He knows it. Snapped his friend's neck too many times, took for granted the restart button. Took Ric for granted. Took his scotch for granted. His companionship for granted. Took his you're a dickhead to beat all dickheads but that's okay stance on their friendship for granted.

He misses him. And talking to a gravestone never gets less morbid, no matter how many bottles he drinks, no matter how many regrets spill past his lips.

He wonders what Alaric would have said about the sire bond. If he would have laughed or rolled his eyes or grounded Elena or grounded him. Wonders if he would have found a better way to fix everything. He wonders if Ric would have been in his corner; wonder what it would feel like to have someone in his corner.

But if Ric hadn't died on a cold day in April, in a tomb outside the town he'd only come to to kill Damon, no sire bond would have been formed. Elena would still be human, still clutching tight to Stefan's hand, stealing glances at Damon like her predecessor had been so good at. She would have been alive, and finishing her senior year with flourish, decorating for prom, being so alive. Alive. Alive.

It all would have just been a little bit better. A lot better.

He can save a seat at the Grill until the world decays, but it's not going to bring him back.

Nothing brings back the dead. Not even the worst of the two Salvatore brothers begging in the dark will bring him back. please.

So he tosses back another drink and tries to save the kids that Ric died for. Hopes he doesn't disappoint. But he always disappoints. Consistency and all that jazz.


Author's note: Written mostly because I miss Alaric and I know that Damon misses him too. And I'm bitter that Ric is still dead. It's rude.