Summary: Delia's preparations for midwifery provokes a strong reaction from Patsy
Disclaimer: Call The Midwife belongs to them BBC and others - I am simply borrowing their beautiful characters.
Author's note: I am obsessed with the lovely Delia Busby and am irrationally hoping that she is made a regular in the new series. This is my first CtM fic so please be gentle. I'm not sure I have the tone of the characters really - I've only seen bits of season 4 and 5.
A tentative knocking at the bedroom door made Barbara jump slightly as she brushed her hair. Frowning in surprise that someone would actually bother to knock at Nonnatus House, she called out, telling her visitor to enter. The young midwife's frown turned into a a warm grin of recognition as Delia Busby opened the door, smiling back an unspoken greeting.
"Hallo Delia. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Delia stepped further into Barbara's room. "Morning. I know it's your day off today. I was just wondering if you had any plans."
Barbara studied the Welsh woman's face. There was clearly an agenda behind the question. "Not really," she admitted. "I was thinking of hopping on a bus into town but I don't really have the money to do more than window shop. Why?"
Delia shifted slightly, her movements betraying a level of nervousness Barbara had seldom seen in the young nurse. "I'm after a bit of a favour actually," she told her, moving to shut the bedroom door before sitting down uninvited on Barbara's bed.
Barbara sat down beside her. "Well go on then, my crystal ball only works at weekends."
Delia smiled and relaxed slightly much to Barbara's relief. "I start my first midwifery placement in a few weeks."
"You must be so excited," Barbara interrupted, her own enthusiasm colouring her words. "Did you want help with study?"
"No, actually. I think I'm alright with that." She sighed deeply, looking like she was trying to compose herself. "The truth is, I haven't been on a bike since my accident," she continued hurriedly. "I'm going to be nervous enough as it is, so I wanted to take one stress away by getting some practice in before I have to do it for real." She looked up from the spot on the bedspread that she had been focused on and Barbara could see fear in her eyes.
"Of course I can help. But wouldn't you prefer Patsy helping you?" She asked.
Delia shook her head slowly. "Not with this, no. She went through so much when I had my accident. I know she'll have kittens at the thought of me getting on a bike. I'd like to be able to ride it with confidence once we do go out, to put her mind at rest. If I so much as wobble she'll probably insist that nurse Crane will have to drive me everywhere." The diminutive brunette sighed shakily before continuing. "I'm also terrified Barbara. And I don't want to put Patsy through that either."
Barbara nodded solemnly. "Well then, we'd better get started." She grinned impishly at the other woman and held out her hand to help Delia up from the bed. Delia couldn't help but smile back. She had a lot of time for Barbara. She was good and kind, and most importantly she was patient, something her beloved Patsy wasn't, ironically.
Outside by the bikes, Barbara was already mapping out their training session. "Okay,we're just going to walk the bikes down to the tow path. It's nice and straight along there and most importantly there are no vans."
Delia stuck out her tongue at the gentle jibe but was secretly relieved that Barbara was taking this approach. She knew that she was irrationally fearful of riding again but no matter how much she'd tried to talk herself into getting back on a bike, she hadn't been able to find the courage. Barbara's gentle teasing would take the sting of humiliation away and give her some much needed support.
Barbara smiled back. "Once we're down there, we can just ride up and down until you're confident to do a bit more."
Delia nodded in agreement. "Sounds good to me." The two women set off, waving at Fred as they pushed their cycles past the gardens of Nonnatus and on towards the canal.
"So what's the plan then Delia? Are you just going to start cycling in front of Patsy on your first day out?" Barbara began conversationally.
"I haven't really thought that far ahead to be honest," the smaller brunette replied. "I can't seem to get past actually getting on the bloody thing."
"Unlike you to swear," Barbara teased.
"Unlike me to swear in English," Delia amended. Believe you me, it's quite liberating to let some real profanities out with next to no chance of being understood."
"I don't know, you should go down and listen to the dock workers - I think they do a pretty good job."
Delia laughed, feeling the tension that had been building in her shoulders lift slightly. She looked at her taller companion. "Thank you for doing this, I really appreciate it."
"Thank me when we're done," Barbara advised wisely. "You may hate me by the end of this."
Delia wrinkled her nose as she dismissed that thought out of hand. "I doubt it. You may have learned a whole new vocabulary by then though." Both women laughed as they enjoyed the weak Spring sun warming them during their walk.
Once at the towpath, Barbara found a wide area and stopped, looking at Delia expectantly. "Ready?" She prompted.
Delia stared at her bike, and started to swing her leg to sit astride but stopped, shaking her head at her indecision. Barbara waited, close enough to lend support but not so close as to crowd the young Welshwoman, She could see the nervousness and fear return to Delia's face, noting her pallor even as she began to sweat slightly.
Delia continued to stare at the bike. A myriad thoughts were racing through her head, and fuzzy memories she couldn't quite catch. She still had no recollection at all of the accident and had only the information from other people that allowed her to piece together what had happened. The overwhelming emotion she had of the whole episode was one of guilt. Guilt that she had got water into her watch, prompting the decision to take Patsy's bike. Guilt for clearly not paying attention to where she was going for her to end up in a collision with a van. Guilt that she had forgotten her mother, her father and her family. Guilt that she had forgotten about her life in London and her passion about being a nurse. But most of all she felt guilt that she had forgotten Patsy, the woman she had loved for years. In addition to that, she had allowed herself to be taken back to Wales, a place where she struggled to find her identity again, and that had meant that Patsy had suffered on her own, with no one to confide in, heartbroken and unable to get in touch. It didn't seem to matter how much Patsy reassured the younger woman that it didn't matter any more, it mattered to Delia. So if she could spare Patsy one second of fear or anxiety she would do that. She would be far more grateful to Barbara than she would ever be able to express, just as long as she could crack this paralysing anxiety and actually get back on the bike.
Barbara continued to watch her companion silently. It was clear from the range of emotions ghosting across her features that she was trying to talk herself up to do this, and Barbara knew that she would not be able to say anything to help.
After almost ten minutes of silent tension, Delia seemed to make a sudden decision and with a speed that seemed totally incongruous to the build up, swung her leg over and sat on the bike, gripping the handlebars with such ferocity, her knuckles were bleached white. Barbara waited a bit longer, allowing the nurse to settle. It was only when Delia looked up into the other woman's clear blue eyes that Barbara finally asked, "Are you ready?"
"No, but let's do this." Delia's accent was more prominent as she spoke determinedly. With a sharp exhalation of breath, Delia placed her foot on the pedal and pushed off, the bike wobbling slightly as it slowly started to pick up momentum. Within a few revolutions, Delia braked and looked back at Barbara before turning the bike around. "Well, that's a start," she declared shakily.
Barbara punched the air with triumph. "Believe it or not, that's the worst bit out of the way," she assured.
Delia shook her head dismissively. "No, that will be when I get back on the road and amongst traffic. But let's just concentrate on me going further than 20 yards and perhaps turning before we get ahead of ourselves."
Barbara grinned madly at her. "Come on then," she encouraged, getting onto her own bike.
By lunchtime the two women were cycling confidently around the tow path and very quiet streets. Barbara had been impressed by Delia's tenacity and also her natural ability. She had an easy knack for riding the bike that made Barbara rue the accident even more. They had also practised stopping quickly and really looking for hazards, building Delia's confidence with every minute she was on the bike.
Delia looked at her watch before looking at her companion. "Right, time to go to the park," she declared decisively.
"Are you sure? That will mean a couple of roads."
"I have to do this sometime, why not now when you're with me. Besides, I'll be following you so it's up to you to keep me safe," Delia told her.
"Wait a minute, I'm not sure I'm up to Patsy's wrath if I get you into trouble," Barbara admitted.
"You'll be fine," Delia reassured her. "Patsy's an angel really," she continued unknowingly repeating something she'd told Patsy herself just prior to the accident.
Barbara snorted, "I'll have to take your word for that," she retorted. "Come on then." Carefully, she picked a route through the side roads and onto a more busy street, keeping a constant eye on her cycling companion as she navigated the route. They arrived at their destination without incident and Barbara was about to stop when Delia continued cycling past her and down to the bottom end of the park. Frowning, she followed hurriedly only to smile broadly when she realised Delia's intended destination.
"Two ice creams please," Delia ordered as she halted in front of the ice cream seller. She handed the first to Barbara and handed over the money as she took her own before gesturing to a nearby bench for the two of them to sit at.
Barbara took a rather large bite from her ice cream and sat back. "I must say my day off has turned out so much better than I thought it would," she confided.
"Thanks, I think," Delia responded wryly.
"So has it helped? Do you think you can actually go out to calls now?"
"More than you know," Delia replied gratefully. "At least now I won't be quite so petrified of using a bike and once Patsy sees me on it, she'll see that I am not quite so incompetent."
"You two are awfully close," Barbara commented innocently. "It must be nice to have someone here you can rely on when your family is so far away," she continued wistfully.
"Are you lonely?" Delia asked, concern etching her features.
"I never thought I'd miss my dad - he can be a bit oppressive, but there's always that undefinable pull to your family," Barbara admitted.
Delia smiled knowingly. "I know what you mean. After my accident I could see the pain I was putting my mam through, but I couldn't stay. Pembroke just doesn't have what I need,"
"Bright lights, big city?" Barbara asked.
"You have seen Poplar, right?" Delia retorted cheekily. She grinned. "If it's any consolation, you have friends here. Don't forget that." She took another bite of her ice cream. "So," she continued brightly, "How many more lessons do you think I'll need?"
"Entirely up to you. Personally, I think all you need to do is convince Patsy to go out with you and you should be fine," she paused as she looked at Delia. "Both of you."
Delia nodded slowly. "Let's hope so. You ready for a final circuit before cycling back to Nonnatus House? Maybe just a cycle round the area?"
Barbara nodded. "Yes, but this time you're leading the way."
Delia looked startled for a second, before setting her face determinedly. "Okay then."
The trip around Poplar was trickier as the streets were busy but Delia took her time, picking routes carefully and sticking to very visible parts of the road in the hope that both she and Barbara would be clearly seen by the other road users. By the time they headed back to convent, they were cycling at a fair speed, Delia now confident of her ability and with her anxiety firmly under control.
It was as the two women reached the boundary of the property that they saw Patsy and Trixie returning their own bikes to the storage area. Patsy swung round as she heard the two women laughing as they approached and her eyes widened in horror. "Delia, are you raving mad?" She demanded, her voice rising in anger.
Delia gripped the brakes tightly and came to a quick halt. "Hi Pats. I thought it was time to get back on the bike." She explained, her pride at overcoming her fear evident in her beaming smile.
Patsy was having none of it though. "What? I've just seen you come flying down the road recklessly. Have you forgotten what happened?"
Delia's smile fell but she looked at Patsy steadily. "I am quite aware of what happened. That was why I wanted to practise before I start as a midwife."
"Practise?" Patsy scoffed, her anger in full force. "That wasn't practising. That was you flying round like an idiot like you did when you had the accident."
Delia flinched visibly, a look of desperate hurt now on her face. "Is that what happened?" She asked, her voice a whisper.
Patsy's eyes widened as she realised what she had said. "No, of course not," she tried to assure the brunette.
Delia stared steadily at the taller woman as a sick feeling developed in her stomach. "But that's how you feel, isn't it?" She pursued, her voice hollow.
"No," Patsy denied hotly but the damage was done.
Delia shook her head as she dismounted her bike and threw it to the ground. She strode into the convent, head down.
"Deels," Patsy called and started to go after her, only to be stopped by Barbara. "Patsy, that wasn't fair," she started.
Angry with herself for losing her temper and for hurting Delia, Patsy found herself snapping back at the midwife from Liverpool. "Fair? How could you Barbara? You know how ill she was."
Barbara nodded solemnly but didn't back down from Patsy's aggressive stance. "Do you know how long it took her to pluck up the courage to get on the bike? Ten minutes. She was terrified Patsy, but she didn't want to do it in front of you as she thinks she's already put you through enough."
It was Patsy's turn to flinch. "Oh God. I'm such an idiot."
"Yes you are," Trixie agreed, speaking for the first time since the spat. "But don't you dare go and see her while you're still angry. Make sure you're calm and know what you're going to say. And there better be an apology in there."
"You need to fix this Patsy, or you'll lose her," Barbara continued.
Patsy's eyes widened as she felt her heart accelerate. "What do you mean?" She asked defensively.
"You're best friends. As close as anyone I know. But you'll drive a wedge in that friendship if you don't give her any respect or trust." Unknowingly, Barbara was causing an icy grip of fear to form around Patsy's heart.
The red-haired woman nodded morosely, feeling the last flicker of anger leave her as she began to wonder what it was she needed to do to repair the damage she had done.
To be continued...
