I've always been fascinated with the possibilities when it came to the littlest Weasleys. This may be the first of many chapters, chronicling the lighter side of Ron and Hermione's life with their children.
As always, I do not own the people or places in the Harry Potter Universe.
On with it!
"Auuuuuuuggggh!"
Hermione Weasley emitted a sound somewhere between a shriek and a growl at the latest prank her children played on her. Actually it wasn't always her children who acted alone, their father was eagerly helping them, however when he was involved, she considered herself a mother of three.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" Ron innocently called out from the sitting room. Hermione had retreated into the kitchen to serve herself a slice of strawberry pie for dessert. She had been working late and Ron took the liberty of making a nice dinner and a sweet treat for her when she got home.
Ron rose from his seat in front of the television, the one muggle invention he not only mastered the use of, but also grew to love. Standing at the bottom of the stairs, quivering with suppressed giggles stood, their two children, Rose and Hugo. Rose was home from her very first year at Hogwarts and she and Hugo were making up for lost time together, spending most of it terrorizing their mother. They adored her, but they loved turning her that particular shade of red with their pranks, games and various loud noises. "Scaring Mum" had become their favorite evening activity, since Rose was 5 and Hugo was 3. They hid in closets, under beds, in the cellar, always waiting to leap out and give their mum the scare of her life.
She'd grown to expect it, not even flinching when the kids would barrel out from their hiding places, shouting at the top of their lungs. So they decided to change tactics. It started with shave foam and silly string landing on her face when she entered a room and evolved to the art of covering the doorway with cling film, the kids howling with laughter from the darkness as Hermione walked into hidden plastic force fields. She'd always jump out of her skin, shout the roof off until her throat was raw and finally order Ron to give them a firm "talking to." He'd always oblige and spend a few minutes telling them that it was wrong to terrorize their mother; all while barely suppressing his own giggles of course. By the time the kids were asleep, he and Hermione would lie in bed laughing. When she cooled off, she was always amused at how the kids took the time to do these things to her. There was no malice in their pranks and she secretly looked forward to them, seeing as she was an only child and this was a dynamic she had always craved.
Now here they were 6 years later, their children teetering somewhere between going to see the carnage in the kitchen and running for their very lives. This was a prank they'd wanted to play for weeks now, but they knew it would cost them several summer afternoons of play, as they would be confined to their rooms, serving out their sentences for this one perfect crime.
They hadn't even told their father what they had done. They simply kept him away from the fruity weapon by offering him a huge slice of chocolate cake from the bakery a few blocks away. It was his favorite treat and he'd never refuse it.
Ron slowly made his way through the door, into their kitchen. "Hermione? What is it, love?"
Stopping dead in his tracks, he stared at his wife, his jaw hanging, eyes wide with shock, and the kitchen door swinging behind him. She stood there, frozen, arms stiff at her sides her, her brown eyes flashing with alarm, confusion and something that resembled murder.
The pie. The children had charmed the strawberry pie; or rather Rose charmed the pie, obviously using a spell she picked up from her first year at Hogwarts. Ron surveyed the damage, his blue eyes far too filled with surprise to even indicate the slightest hint of amusement. Hermione stood before him, her top front covered from head to waist in gooey strawberry pie. She still gripped the knife, the pie tin strewn on the counter, its crust still sitting in it. Cautiously walking over to her, Ron carefully pulled the knife from her hand and led her to the staircase. He could almost feel the breeze of his children, the two of them having run up the stairs when their parents quietly emerged from the kitchen.
Hermione wordlessly allowed Ron to lead her up the stairs and into their master bathroom. He quietly stripped her of her clothing and helped her step into the shower. As his wife emerged from the sticky, red mess that covered her she blinked, her eyes trained on him.
"I'm…I'm going to kill them."
He chuckled, his fingers helping to rub the syrupy mess out of her hair. "You aren't going to kill them, Hermione. You love them too much."
"Oh…I am. They're young. We'll just, we'll just have more."
"They thought it was funny. Well it was funny…" He stopped short, Hermione's eyes shooting daggers into him. "Sorry. They were kidding is all. I'm sure they're scared to death right now. You finish up in here. Let me handle them."
"Yes, you do that. Say goodbye to them."
Ron laughed to himself as he made his way out of the bathroom, Hermione's dessert covered clothes in hand.
After cleaning the goo off of them with his wand, he placed them in the hamper and went to the children's rooms.
His first stop was Rose, the room closest to theirs. He walked into Rose's room, only to find it empty. Perfectly put together, her bedside lamp, the only light on, emitting a soft warm glow. Her bed was perfectly made, her small bookshelf organized, every book alphabetized, her figurines and dolls perfectly posed and placed. All around were soft hues of purple, blue and yellow, mostly pastels. Her room was warm and clean, the picture of a soft, sweet young girl who aspired in every way to be her mother. Glancing at the framed photo on her desk of her and her cousin Albus, he turned around and made his way to Hugo's room, the door was closed and he could hear panicked whispers. Knocking once, Ron pushed the door open to confront his two children. He wasn't even through the threshold when Rose jumped to her feet and began.
"Daddy! It was me. It was all my fault. I thought that would be funny and obviously it wasn't. I'm sorry. I'll take the punishment. Hugo had nothing to do with this."
Ron glanced over at Hugo who was seated on the bed, already dressed in his pajamas, a white t-shirt and a pair of pants covered in images of "Mickey Mouse," the very popular muggle cartoon character. Hugo's room was brighter, strewn with toys, legos, and quidditch figurines. Ron normally charmed the toys to run and fly around but now they all lay about, still and lifeless waiting to either be played with or put away. Unlike Rose's gentle hues, there were brighter reds, blues and greens everywhere and a few soft bursts of orange here and there.
"And you, Hugo? What do you have to say?"
"I helped."
"No you didn't, stupid! I told you to let me handle this!"
"You didn't do this yourself!"
"I'm the only one of us with a wand aren't I?"
"Yeah but you're too scared to pull a prank on your own…"
"I'm not scared!"
"You are!"
"I am NOT!"
Placing two fingers into his mouth, Ron let out a loud, sharp whistle, effectively silencing his kids.
"Listen up, you two! Your mum had a long day at work. She's tired, stressed…what would make you think an exploding pie would be funny?"
Both Rose and Hugo dropped their heads, knowing full well that the timing of this particular prank was very poorly thought out.
"We just thought it would be funny. It didn't hurt mum, did it?" Rose asked stepping forward.
"Rosie, contrary to popular opinion, an exploding pie is not funny. And no, it didn't hurt mum." Both kids let out sighs of relief. "BUT…she might hurt you."
Hugo jumped to his feet. "If we move fast enough we can get out of here before she kills us!"
"Hugo! Mum is not gonna kill you."
"Yes, she is too!"
"No she's not! I promise you, mum is NOT going to kill you. She's going to kill me. That is, if I don't fix this little mess. So, here's what's going to happen."
Crouching down to level with the kids, he beckoned them in closer.
"We are going to fill a bucket with water and soap and you two are going to clean the mess you left in that kitchen right now."
"But Dad, I didn't even do it." Hugo yelled, clearly offended by the idea of cleaning.
"Now he absolves himself." Rose mused crossing her arms over her chest.
Holding a hand up, Ron rushed to stop the kids from beginning a new screaming match. "You both were waiting at the stairs for that pie to explode, so you BOTH did it. And now you both have to clean it. Then after that, you will apologize to mum and accept whatever punishment she has for you. Agreed?"
"Yeah, dad."
"Alright, daddy."
"And Rosie? I'm gonna need your wand."
In minutes, Ron was back in front of the telly while the kids were on their hands and knees scrubbing the mess from the floor, and counter top while grumbling to themselves. Far too preoccupied with their task they didn't notice the stone faced woman who stood in the doorway, wand at the ready.
"You."
Gasping, the kids jumped to their feet.
"You kids. Now I've got you both, right where I want you."
Rose dropped her sponge and pulled her little brother behind her. "Mummy? What are you doing?"
"What I should have done a long time ago." She aimed her wand at Rose, brown eyes fixed upon brown eyes. "AGUAMENTI!"
Ron jumped at the sound of screaming and giggling coming from the kitchen. Rushing to the kitchen, he peered in the doorway only to find his wife and children engaged in a mad water fight. Hermione spraying Rose and Hugo with the jet of water shooting from her wand. Rose and Hugo filling and refilling cups and flinging their contents at a screaming Hermione. Ron smiled at the scene in front of him, his wife, his children, his little family. He leaned into the kitchen a bit more when the door creaked, the small sound pulling Hermione and the kids out of their reverie. Wand still pointed, Hermione quickly turned her body, her concentration on the small jet of water breaking and releasing bucket-fulls of water in the direction of her alarmed husband.
Small drips, light gasps and the hollow clattering of two plastic cups were all that was heard in the kitchen. Rose and Hugo stood there sputtering on their words; Hermione lowered her wand, nervously chewing on her lip. Standing in the doorway, soaked from head to toe, Ron gaped at his wife, mouth opening and closing, looking something like a fish out of water.
"Sorry, sweetheart." Hermione squeaked out.
"Sorry, Dad." The kids echoed in unison.
"Hugo, why don't you help daddy upstairs and Rosie and I will finish up in here. Yes?"
"Yup. C'mon dad." Grabbing Ron by the hand he walked him out of the kitchen.
"I'm…I'm going to kill her."
Chuckling, Hugo led his soaked and shocked father upstairs to the master bedroom, stopping at the linen closet to grab a large towel. "You aren't going to kill her, Dad. You love her too much."
"Oh…I am. I'm young. I'll remarry."
"It was funny. Well it was really funny. You standing there like that…" He stopped short, Ron's eyes shooting daggers into him. "Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm sure she's scared to death right now. You finish up in here. Let me handle her."
As Ron toweled off and peeled off his wet clothes, he smiled as he heard Hugo muttering to himself.
"Parents…just can't take a joke."
Reviews are welcome. Constructive and all that. Sorry, but no anons. Please know that I respond to all reviews if permitted. Love!
