A/N - This is my first fanfic. This is an AU fic with some Manga reference. There might be some fluff along the way. I am rewriting it because I want it to be better.I will try to keep our beloved characters as we know and love them, but do keep in mind that some fluff will sneak up.

Please Read & Review.

I know you know Bleach and all it's characters belong to Kubo Taito *genius*
Just borrowing my muse Rukia and Ichigo.

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(The story takes place in Ichigo's room where Rukia is sitting at his desk and begins to write out her thoughts of the day...)

I sit in front of my mirror and realize that the love I feel for you will never be.
Even though we have a few years apart, you have come inside my heart. As hard as
I try to set myself free, I cling on to you with more desire and cannot separate myself
from you.

I cry because I have lived this far and to realize I have not felt like this before.
Yes, I have loved, but not like this. I know that as hard as I try, I can never be with you or you with me.

You have grown so much since the first time we met. Maybe being on the brink of death brought clarity to my soul, because I saw in you the raw love and fear of your loved ones. I know I have never shared this with you, but I never knew the true meaning of loving your own flesh and blood. The way you fuzz and fight with your father, even through that I see the love and connection between the both of you. The way you protect your sisters and willingly die without fear or hesitation for them...

I admire the way you are fearless and bold in protecting your friends and your family and anyone whom is defenseless and in need of protection...

I cry because I will always love you with all my being and all my breath and all my existence. Even if you were to wither away from this life, I could never stop thinking of you, inhaling your smell or hearing your words of kindness, your harsh reactions, your scowling look, and with each thought my heart will hurt because the love that is inside my tiny heart would continue to grow and exist even with out you present.I cry because I know you will never love me as I love you...

(She begins to cry and crumples the paper where she bared her heart and soul. She throws it away in the trash can. The crumpled piece of paper touches the ream of the waste basket and falls behind the waste basket.)

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Please Read and Review :-) Positive Criticism appreciated!