AN: I am still a die hard Bellice fan and that will be evident when you read this.

Edit: There was an anonymous view, which I deleted, that said: "Did you copy this Story? Ive read it before, about a year ago..." . Awesome grammar by the way and I wish I could've replied to you personally, but hey. No I did not copy since I'd hate for someone to do that to me. Whoever you're referring to, I may have had the same idea as them, but I can guarantee I wrote this. I wouldn't be caught dead in Bedward fan-fiction section.


"I don't want you."

Those words have echoed through my mind for seven decades. Seven decades of pure agony and time I'll never get back. And now the time that I borrowed has caught up with me. The time I could have frozen if I were immortal and if -dare I say his name- Edward had changed me. The unbearable heart ache I dealt with for such a long time was now a dull throb that sent waves of pain occasionally. At first I couldn't understand. My heart was broken yet it still beat the same.

And now I was eighty-eight years old, withered away and left an empty shell. For years I, not once, blamed Edward, even when Jacob had told me to do so. No of course not, instead I pushed Jake away for even asking me to do such a thing. That's why he wasn't here today as I lied in the hospital bed, without a single company. I had pushed everyone away because of the loneliness, but I hadn't realized at the time that true loneliness was when not a single friend or family member in the world wanted to see you before you died or even cared for that matter.

But it was my fault. I was a heartsick teenager, one who didn't understand what it truly meant to be broken. I could've revived my broken heart if I had given it the chance instead of dwelling on something I shouldn't have yearned for in the beginning. It was a morbid dream to want someone like Edward, for he was a monster. And surprisingly, I hadn't given him this title because of his species. He was a monster because he encouraged that strawberry dream I was living instead of crushing the dream of us being together from the very beginning. He was a monster because he didn't even have the decency to leave me a picture of him or all of them for that matter. Something that allowed me to believe it was all real instead of some fantasy. That he indeed just left because he was not the only one I missed, yet had vanished just like him.

There was Esme, the motherly figure I needed in my real mother's absence. Alice, my best friend -or so I had thought-. Emmett, someone to ease the tension with a laugh or two. Carlisle, like another father to me. Jasper, whose calming presence was constantly appreciated. Even Rosalie, because as the years went by, I took the time to realize there was more beneath the surface than just a bitter blonde.

I knew because I was bitter now. I resented Edward Cullen. The man I trusted my heart with and allowed to fall to the floor. It was the apple he let slip through his fingers. If he had loved me, he would've come back; he wouldn't have been able to go for seven decades because you can't resist a love he claimed to be so powerful. He wasn't the lion and I wasn't the lamb. The lion cared for the lamb, but nature fought and eventually the lion succumbed to instinct.

Edward never cared for me in the beginning. I was a toy. Something new and something fascinating for his miserable existence, which he chose in turn to ruin as well. And once he broke it, he left so he wouldn't have to pay for the penalty of his actions. For someone who claimed to know the true ache of feelings, his actions didn't seem to add up. A century old vampire believed that I'd be so foolish to forget him so easily when in reality; the human mind was a much more complex thing. Surely he knew that and just didn't care.

For a while though, I had wished I could forget about him. I wished I could move on from the constant heart ache, but I couldn't. Edward captured my heart wholly and completely and it belonged to him whether I liked it or not. But feelings can evolve into other things if left unrequited. They can turn into a burning hatred that seems to set your whole body aflame when you recall the person who broke your heart. And the one to break mine was a stone cold monster, quite literally in fact.

"Bella?" A voice spoke from the doorway. I willed myself not to look. Convinced myself it was all in my head until they called my name for a second time. That's when I looked and the familiar agony I felt on a daily basis made my heart clench painfully.

It was true that time didn't change the appearance of vampires because there Edward stood, not a single strand out of place in his perfectly styled bronze hair. Nothing seemed to be out of place with him. Even his expression, it was blank and emotionless, but his eyes told a different story. And they were the only ones that had signified he had indeed changed.

Instead of the gold I had grown so fond of, they were blood red. The same as James. The color that made his sins visible. It told me that he had not only killed people, but he had turned away from a morally better solution just to do so.

"What do you want Edward?" I finally spoke. My voice strong despite the pain that came from even speaking.

"I wanted to apologize," he said tentatively, taking a step into the room and shutting the door.

"Apologize?" I hissed. "You've been out of my life for seventy years and now you've come back when I'm on my death bed? And to what? Clear your conscience?"

"Yes… I don't want you to die thinking that I had ever forgotten about you Bella." He gracefully moved to stand beside the bed. The voice that had once warmed my heart seemed to freeze it entirely.

"Years ago I would've appreciated the gesture Edward, but now it only makes me realize how much of a coward you are. You didn't leave because you feared for my safety; you just hadn't taken into consideration of how your choice to be with me would affect things. And once you did… you left and not once did you look back."

"And I've regretted it for years-"

"No you haven't. I have a feeling you wouldn't have even come here today if someone hadn't convinced you to. Who was it? Alice? Did she have a vision of me passing?" My breath was becoming even more labored with each breath I took. It didn't help the matter that Edward's very presence had my heart beating faster than it should have. But not out of love or excitement, it was pure anger.

"That is true, but-"

"But nothing Edward, I'd rather die alone than have you in my company. You are indeed a monster; just one look at you confirms that." I looked him directly in the eyes, watching as they hardened.

"Why are you being so cruel? This isn't the Bella I loved."

"Because you never loved me to begin with and I'm not the young girl who'll fawn over you. I was foolish then, I realize that now. And to answer your first question with another, shouldn't it be obvious? You broke me Edward. It's true that all broken hearts can be put back together, but some fill theirs with cement in order for that to happen."

"I'm sorry," he apologized, hanging his head in shame.

"No you're not," I reached an arm out to touch his, shivering slightly, but not removing my hand until he returned his pain-filled eyes to mine. "You're only sorry for yourself Edward. And you only came here because you'd thought I'd be the last person to believe there was good in you." I dropped my grip, shifting my head to plant my eyes on the ceiling above. "But there isn't and you know that. That's why you've killed again."

"It was a mista-"

"Please don't lie to me on my death bed Edward. Now please leave." My eyelids were becoming heavy and I knew I had very little time left. I wanted to die the way I lived. Alone.

"Just tell me you forgive me." His voice came from further away, sounding more broken than before. He was probably by the doorway.

"I can't."

Those were the last words I spoke before my eye lids closed shut and everything went dark.