How do I
Get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
Oh I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you'd take away everything good in my Life.
Chi-Chi smoothed down a sleeping Gohan's hair. He looked so much like his father, but his hair... well, that he'd gotten from her. Smooth and fine as silk, thick and soft. He'd fallen asleep on the couch again; he was too heavy for her to carry up the stairs anymore, and now there was no Goku to do it. Goku...
She shook her hair out of the tight bun, running her fingers through it and massaged her scalp. Suddenly, the little home that had always felt so cozy, so safe, felt claustrophobic, hellishly hot. She had to get out... She slipped off the couch and out the door, closing it with a light click, so as not to wake Gohan, and just started running. She ran and ran, she didn't know how far, through the dark woods, until a root tripped her, and she fell down, hard. Her entire body became wracked with sobs, as she buried her face in what she hoped were merely wet leaves, crying so hard she finally had to lift her torso as the spasms caused her to vomit roughly. She sobbed, throwing up, and unable to breathe or see... for she didn't know how long, but eventually, when she regained herself, she looked up at the sky.
"You bastard!" she screamed. "You lying bastard! You promised you wouldn't leave me! How... don't you love me?" she asked, the last words no longer railing, but in a pitiful, almost childlike voice. "Maybe you don't... maybe you never did..." she sobbed. "I was just..."
"That's not true, Momma." said a voice at her shoulder.
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
O how do I live?
"Gohan... what are you doing up?"
"I woke up and you weren't there. I got worried. It's my job to be the man of the family now, take care of you."
Chi-Chi smiled sadly, pulling her son to her, burying her face into his chest without getting off the ground. "Ooooh, you are just so good!" she declared. "You're wonderful. And... I didn't want you to see me this way."
Gohan sighed, patting her on the head. "Mom... I didn't... I didn't tell you Dad's last words."
Chi-Chi looked up at him. "What?"
"Before he left... I was so upset... I didn't tell you what he said. That was selfish, I'm sorry."
"No, no, baby..." Chi-Chi assured, pulling him close. "You didn't do anything wrong... of course you were upset... you love your Daddy very much, and he loves you..."
"He loves you too, Mom."
Chi-Chi bit her lower lip, no longer looking at her son, feeling peevish and childish, because he had, after all, left Gohan as well, but... there was no doubt in her mind how much he loved that boy. Not one iota. And she knew he sacrificed his life to protect that boy. But her... She just felt... left...
"I'm sorry, baby; it's not about me. I am alwaysgoing to take care of you, I promise, my dearest baby..."
"I know that." Gohan smiled. "But... you need to know what his last words were. OK?"
Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
I would be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in My life
Chi-Chi sighed, taking a deep breath and fighting back the tears that were burning her eyelids. A part of her felt like screaming out that his last words to her had been an out-and-out lie, that he'd made love to her and said, "I'll be back in a few hours, I love you." So simple... such a damn lie...
But, she was a mother before all else, so she looked at her son with big, watery eyes and an expectant look. "What did he say, baby?"
"He said that he loved me, and to tell you that he loved you very much, and that he was coming back- someday. He said meantime it was my job to look after you, and that he'd never really leave us..."
Chi-Chi looked at her son, gobsmacked. "His last words on Earth... were of me?"
Gohan nodded. "So... he'll come back someday, right? He said it'll be a while, but... he will, won't he?"
Chi-Chi sighed, took a deep breath and gathered her only son into her lap. "Gohan... your Daddy may be a lot of things... but he doesn't lie."
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever ever survive?
How do I
How do I
O how do I live?...
Please tell me baby..
Three weeks had gone by after this night. Chi-Chi was barely functioning. Not eating, not sleeping. Sick at all hours of the night for no reason... Worried beyond reason, Gohan called Bulma, who sent a doctor over, to give the Son family the grand news.
"Mrs. Son... you're to have a baby."
Chi-Chi's hand went to her belly and she shook her head. She looked like she might cry, but then she started to laugh at the same time.
"Mom?" Gohan asked worriedly.
Chi-Chi smiled at him; the first real smile she'd had in a few weeks. "Your father decided to send us a little reminder of him while he's gone- we should start getting the nursery ready for your little brother."
The doctor looked at her. "How are you so sure it's a boy? You're only-"
"Because, Goku and I don't make girls." she said, as if that were that, and walked Gohan to the empty junk room.
"Gohan!" she sing songed. "Come on, let's get this room cleaned out for the baby... I bet Goku won't even be surprised, that man..." she said, shaking her head, and Gohan quirked his mouth slightly, helping her with some boxes.
"Oh, he was so good with you... lullabies and diapers... I wonder if he will with this one?"
Gohan shrugged. "Probably." he said.
They had no way of knowing the baby would be four before Goku would return, but what they did know in their hearts was that he would, because he always kept his promises...
How do I go on?
If you ever leave
Well baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby don't you know your everything good in My life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
O how do I live
How do I live without you
How do I live without you baby...
How do I live...
