Disclaimer: I do not own Riot, League of Legends, or any of its champions.
"An ally has been slain."
"An ally has been slain."
"An ally has been slain."
"An ally has been slain."
"Wtf!" Thresh screamed, "my hook didn't hit that Ezreal, they are obviously hacking, no, wait, actually I'm lagging."
"You missed it because you were bad, you scrub." Lucian retorted.
"Stfu Lucian, you couldn't even cs in lane."
"That's because you kept basic-attacking the minions!"
"Guys," Shyvana interrupted, " can we just stop arguing and report Xin Zhao?"
"Yeah, it's his fault that we lost this game," Yasuo responded, "I hate stupid AFKs, I swear every game I play there's an AFK."
"Hey guys," Xin Zhao said as he walked off the summoning platform, "what happened here?"
"Of course you wouldn't know, you AFKing SOB," Thresh yelled.
"But I was only AFK for about two seconds."
"..., Oh wow, toxic much? I'm totally muting you."
"Whatever, but don't worry I got this game."
"Oh what are u gonna do?"
Xin Zhao ran through the jungle bush before finally stopping at his target, the Baron pit. The Baron Nashor bared its teeth at Xin before spewing its acidic spit at him, Xin dodge the spit and quickly ran toward the Baron. He then threw down his spear and then put his hands on the sides of the Baron's serpent-like body and pulled it right from the river before slamming it repeatedly on the side of the pit. The Baron let out one final screech before going limp and glowing purple seals floated to Xin Zhao's body.
The blue team was having a great game, they had easily defeated 4 of the members of the purple team after the enemy Thresh decided to dive them under tower. Now they were pushing mid taking the outer tower, but all the sudden the blue team heard a sound, it sounded like an engine, and it was getting closer. The blue team looked in amazement as a truck, with Baron's severed head attached to the front of it, flew out from the river bush.
Xin Zhao drove the truck straight at the blue team, leaping out moments before it hit Morgana. The truck exploded, vaporizing Morgana completely. He then threw his signature spear at Patheon, which smashed right through Patheon's shield and impaled him. Xin Zhao then looked over to Brand who had already lit his hands, waiting for an opportunity.
"Ha! You just got lucky, now you don't even have your weapon!" Brand smirked, but that smirk quickly disappeared when Xin Zhao threw the floating purple seals around him, one by one, at Brand's face. Brand collapsed without a sound.
Xin Zhao turned around and saw Ezreal aiming his gauntlet at him, already charging his trueshot barrage.
"I'll avenge my teammates!" Ezreal screamed.
In a flash Xin Zhao appeared directly in front of him.
"What?" Ezreal said as he stumbled back, Xin Zhao grab his gauntlet, still charged with arcane energy, and pointed it to Ezreal's neck.
"No, no, pleas.."
The trueshot barrage fired from Ezreal's gauntlet, killing him and flying randomly through the air before finally landing on the blue team's inhibitor, destroying it instantly.
"WTF!" Shen, the last member of the blue team yelled out as Xin Zhao dropped the gauntlet attached to the headless body of Ezreal and started to walk slowly to him.
"Oh god," Shen stammered as he ran away as fast as he could towards his fountain.
"Oh god, this is worse than the time Nasus... OH GOD!" Shen shrieked as he realized that Xin Zhao is now running at full speed.
"Yes!" Shen let out a breath of relief as he reached his fountain, only to realize that Xin Zhao wasn't stopping.
The fountain turret's eyes glowed as it fired its laser to vaporize Xin Zhao, but Xin Zhao was too fast for it. As quickly as lightning Xin Zhao ran around Shen, dashed under shen's legs and jumped up on to the blue nexus, right as both halves of shen, who had been sliced in half by his own fountain's laser, fell to the ground.
But the Fountain wasn't done, it defied its range and the laser fired at Xin Zhao. However Xin Zhao was prepared, he pried the nexus crystal from the blue nexus and held it in front of him, reflecting the fountain's own laser right back at it. The fountain combusted and collapsed on itself as Xin Zhao threw away the nexus crystal which also started to explode.
"So, Thresh how did I do?"
"..., whatever I'm still reporting you."
And Xin Zhao's account was banned for AFK until 2056.
The End
True Story.
