a/n: hi y'alls! I was bored and decided to write some crack.
Warnings: Crazy Ten-Ten, the 'b-word' some slight boy x boy, and Sasuke being hilarious. (just so you know, this is not a NejiTen nor TenNeji fic.) AU, non-massacre.
Jealousy
Ten-Ten wanted to scream.
True, it was her fault that she was no longer dating Hyuga Neji, boy of her dreams anymore, but still…they'd been apart for a month; a month! (In Ten-Ten's mind, this was equivalent to about one day.) And he was already running off to meet someone behind closed doors.
She still wasn't sure who the other girl was; she'd only been able to follow Neji up to a certain building where he would slip in past the door after showing a security card to the guard outside. She was beyond frustrated. (Of course she stalked her ex-boyfriend! What else did she have to do with her life when she wasn't on a mission?)
Ten-Ten groaned and rolled over and buried her face in a pillow. She was seriously starting to regret breaking up with Neji; she'd only done it so that he would see just how much he needed her, but it looked like it wasn't turning out the way at all.
Their break up had been quite emotional on Ten-Ten's part; she'd tried to guilt Neji in to spending more time with her, and had tried screaming, crying, throwing things at him…but all he'd done was stare at her with that damn emotionless face! The nerve! Sure, he could be sweet when he wanted to, but he never spent any time with her; it was always herself telling Neji when they were going on dates or when they were having dinner or when they were going to do something.
Or, when Neji did have an idea, it was always something stupid. Seriously; going to a shougi parlor? Shikamaru had worn off far too much on the boy.
Ten-Ten sighed, and then sat up. She had the whole week off…she might as well get back to stalking Neji. Maybe the other person would come out of the building with Neji and she could go bash the girl's brains out after he was gone.
Ten-Ten tidied herself up before stepping out the door. She'd barely gone two steps down the street before she saw Uchiha Sasuke smirking about something with his brother. Ten-Ten raised an eyebrow; was it just her or did the older brother look slightly embarrassed…? Impossible, she decided. Uchiha's don't get embarrassed.
To her surprise, Itachi left his brother and Sasuke started sauntering towards her. Horrified, she quickened her pace and tried to lose him in the crowd. Unfortunately, she had no such luck.
"Ten-Ten-san."
"Uchiha," she snapped at him, not stopping. "What do you want?"
Sasuke kept a suspiciously straight face. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about your break-up with Neji."
Ten-Ten glared at him from the corner of her eye. "It was unfortunate."
"I thought that you broke it off with him, not the other way around," Sasuke said innocently.
Ten-Ten's eyebrow twitched. "Still unfortunate."
"Well, I'm just saying that Neji seems oddly relieved in a way," Sasuke said almost cheerfully. "See you later!"
"UCHIHA!" she shrieked turning on him, but he'd already vanished in a puff of smoke. She coughed, and promptly ignored all the odd stares she got from the store owners before storming off, enraged.
Suddenly, Sasuke appeared in front of her again. Startled, she took a step back before lunging at his throat in a fit of murderous rage.
Laughing, he nimbly skipped out of the way. "If you're going to stalk Neji, he's in the Tea Parlor on Kotori Lane." Snickering, he vanished as she lunged forward with a kunai in her hand.
Ten-Ten stood still, breathing deeply. Sighing, she shoved her kunai back in to her weapon's pouch and started walking again. Kotori Lane, eh?
Ten-Ten walked briskly down to the tea parlor and did her best not to stand out from the crowd. She chose a table in the corner that gave her a full view of the parlor, but hid her well in the shadows. The tea parlor was a rather romantic setting; what could Neji possibly be doing here? Frowning, she scanned the crowd until her eyes landed on Neji's face. Blinking, she nearly melted at the handsome smirk on Neji's face. Then, her eyes flicked over to Neji's table partner and she nearly spat out a mouthful of tea.
Neji was sitting across from Uchiha Itachi, and he looked the happiest she'd ever seen him.
Secondly, Uchiha Itachi was laughing. Laughing! Ten-Ten was in shock; one thing is a slightly embarrassed Uchiha; another is a laughing one. Ten-Ten half-expected that there would be an earthquake or some unnatural phenomenon.
Ten-Ten took another sip of her quickly-cooling tea and tried to calm herself, only to spit it out again when Itachi said something and Neji blushed.
Hyuga Neji did not blush! Not ever! She looked around at all the chattering groups in the tea parlor; was no one else noticing what was going on? Frowning, she turned back to her prey.
To her shock, Itachi frowned and suddenly scanned the parlor. Ten-Ten's heart nearly stopped when his gaze turned towards her small little table in the shadows. Surely he hadn't seen her?
Suddenly, Itachi smirked and turned back to Neji, saying something that Ten-Ten couldn't make out. Neji looked startled (yet another unusual expression) and started to say something, but before he could finish, Itachi leaned across the table and kissed him full on the mouth.
Ten-Ten was across the tea parlour and shrieking in righteous fury in seconds.
"GET OFF MY BOYFRIEND, BITCH!" she shrieked.
Meanwhile, Neji was just sort of staring at Itachi in shell-shocked silence with his hand pressed vaguely to his lips.
Itachi looked unapologetic for undoubtedly having just destroyed the Hyuga prodigy's mind. "Your boyfriend, Ten-Ten-san? I thought that you two broke up a while ago."
Ten-Ten snarled something extremely rude at Itachi , who smirked at her and said something equally inflaming and before Neji quite realized what was happening (his mind was still stuck on the kiss), the two were off in an argument about his availability.
Come on, Neji. Pull yourself together, he scolded himself. Even if the kiss that Itachi had given him had felt awfully nice (even if it was equally unexpected), he really should save Ten-Ten from embarrassing himself. He himself knew best of all that no one could win an argument against Uchiha Itachi. No one.
Neji sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ten-Ten," he said firmly. "Do I need to remind you that I am not your boyfriend?"
"B-but Neji-"
"You broke up with me a month ago, Ten-Ten, over the most ridiculous thing. I thought that you would have moved on long ago, especially seeing that you got together with me the day after you dumped Shikamaru. It is time to move on, Ten-Ten."
Ten-Ten looked shocked, and then somewhat traumatized. She pointed at Itachi. "But him? Really, Neji? I didn't know you were gay."
Neji felt his irritation surge. "I'm not gay, I'm bisexual," he said briskly, "and I do believe that you very rudely interrupted my date with Itachi-san (he ignored the surprised look on Itachi's face) so would you please get on with your life and leave me alone? All you ever wanted from me was to look pretty on your arm, alright?" Neji sighed. He hoped that he'd gotten the message across and that Ten-Ten would leave.
Ten-Ten stared at them for a moment before fleeing the shop in utter humiliation. Neji had just left her for a man! And an Uchiha no less!
Itachi stared at Neji who was carefully not looking at him and drinking his tea. "…a date?"
"It was what she thought," Neji shot back, "and you did kiss me."
Itachi smirked. "But," he drawled, "if I remember correctly, you only came here with me on the premise that we were definitely not going on a date and that we were just spending some time together as friends."
Neji turned red. "Shut up," he muttered. "You win. We're at this tea parlor on a date."
Itachi stared at his face, vaguely aware that Neji's face was turning redder by the second. "Can I kiss you again?"
Neji sputtered and set down his teacup. "That's hardly relevant-" he was abruptly cut off by Itachi leaning across the table.
Meanwhile, Ten-Ten was going as fast as she could back to her house, trying not to cry. Unfortunately, Sasuke got to her first.
He eyed her closely. "I take it that stalking Neji didn't go so well?" he said innocently.
Ten-Ten glared at him, and then started chasing after him and throwing weapons with vicious precision. "GO TO HELL UCHIHA!" she shrieked.
The next day, when Neji went to go visit his best friend Shikamaru, Shikamaru noted with bland interest that Uchiha Sasuke was still running away from Ten-Ten while cackling like a mad man, Neji blushed every time they saw Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Itachi had a rather smug look on his face, and that Ten-Ten was going to run out of kunai very, very soon…
Neji and Shikamaru winced as the sounds of explosions rang through the air in Konoha. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at Neji.
"She really was crazy about you, huh?"
Neji sighed as Sasuke ran past them with Ten-Ten hot on his heels. "Yes well…" he flushed slightly as he looked across the street at Uchiha Itachi who was buying flowers from Ino's shop. "It doesn't matter too much anymore."
Shikamaru nodded in agreement. "Thank the gods for that."
Fin
a/n: just so everyone knows, Ten-Ten is an awesome kunoichi, and I only made her like this for the purposes of the story. R/R please!
