Yeah, Hi!
This is my first fic, I started the idea around New Years and have finally found the time/balls to finish it. Apparently trying to write a dissertation inspires you to do as little course work as possible and write other (more important?) things. Like a Skins One-shot! Based on Katie, could be Keffy if you all wanted me to write more, but for now I'm happy my Katie is up on the site.
I'm a bit nervous, I don't ever write. I love reading all your stories though, Its become an obsession to put it mildly. So without further ado, please enjoy:
NB - I don't own Skins et al.
Katie barely recognizes that her glass was indeed empty and all the contents consumed until her brain finally catches up and focuses its activity to instinctual and automatic.
More. More drink needed. Now.
Katie excuses herself from the gathering of people in the living room that had adopted her at some point during the night. She forgets when, right at this moment, as she's determinedly swaying towards the kitchen. She spots the opened Moet on the kitchen counter and pours herself a refill of the deliciously golden, fizzy nectar. Ruefully grinning as she thinks to herself, bloody Campbell and her posh parties, there's no way I'm not taking advantage of her poorly concealed snobbery.
This little thought makes her smile grow wider, because in actual fact, Katie rather likes Naomi Campbell, Emily's new girlfriend.
Katie sighs reflectively before sipping her drink and watching the party and the people around her. In Naomi's flat in Bristol.
She is all too aware that this is the fourth year in a row that Katie has spent New Years Eve with her twin, Emily and whoever her girlfriend was that year.
Katie gets self-conscious about this seemingly normal fact, because she doesn't see anything normal about traveling to Birmingham five years ago to spend New Years Eve with a stranger (and equally strange family) and Emily.
It wasn't the gay thing, she didn't care about that, and the regretful stage in both the girls' life where Katie was unsupportive to say the least was well and truly behind them. Katie loved Emily more than anyone. Emily knew that.
Katie hates the fact that she seems, to the outside world, and admittedly to herself sometimes, lost without her twin. She asks herself how is it that Emily can easily break free from their immense, twin bond and grasp with two eager hands, a life of her own. How is it she's so sure of herself, and yet her twin, clone, replica Katie hasn't a fucking clue who she is herself. How is it that Emily has never not had a girlfriend since she was fifteen?
Katie knows by all means Emily isn't a slut or a player, she's had a total of three girlfriends in the space of around five years and she's been madly in love with all of them. Too in love, Katie frowns at the thought.
Before Katie's blood could start to heat from her reminiscing anything remotely to do with a particular bitch Emily used to be infatuated with, she was rescued by a familiar cool voice behind her coaxing her back to the present New Years Eve,
"Careful Katiekins, if looks could kill," Effy warned with a smirk on her elegant face.
"Huh? What d'you…" Katie looked across the flat to where she was absentmindedly frowning earlier during her reverie. She saw lots of people she didn't recognize and some old faces chatting away loudly to each other, competing with the music and party ambiance. Then she saw Naomi sat on Emily's lap on one of the couches, She only just caught that Naomi had hurriedly taken her crystal blue eyes away from Katie, anxiety and nervousness disorientating her features before she returned to Emily, kissing her on the mouth and listening to the rest of her girlfriends story.
Katie snickered and repressed a snort, "She's scared of me bless her",
"Christ on a bike Katie Fucking Fitch, so would I be, you have quite the reputation going for you from your…enthusiastic protection of Emily from her "evil" girlfriends", Effy emphasized the word "evil" by mocking a voice that Katie could only discern as a very poor attempt at being Dracula whilst she reconfigured her slender fingers into makeshift claws.
"Cock off you twat!" Katie smiled, rolling her eyes at her best friend of many years,
"A bit of fear is good for her, makes sure she know she won't get off lightly when she hurts our Ems," she continued.
"When?" Effy countered with an eyebrow raised, Incredulous.
Katie sighed, "If, if she hurts Emily." Effy smiled back at her friend.
"The truth is Eff, I like Naomi, I really do. Emily and her are really great together, it's different this time, I know it is. I've never seen Emily so…in love."
Katie hates the phrase and everything about it, in love. She would scoff at it, as far as she's experienced it only ever brought immense heartache, and rendered anyone under its talons utterly useless without their partner and devoid them of any semblance of their original being. Katie thought it was pathetic.
But the more she saw of how Emily and Naomi were together and what they clearly meant to each other, the fucking world, she saw how stunningly happy they were, being together, being "in love". Katie thought that must be the best feeling in the world and figures that that's the reason why Emily is so brave with love. She doesn't know in the future whether Naomi will shatter her heart into a million pieces and cast them into a blazing fire, she knows the risk is worth it because she feels THAT happy and alive right now.
Katie winces again at a fleeting memory of Emily being utterly destroyed and distraught by a girl she loved, too much. It killed Katie more than Emily will understand to see her twin hurting as much as she was after the break up of Emily's first love. Psycho Sophia the Birmingham Bitch. Emily scared Katie during that time, Katie couldn't understand why anyone would let another person do that to them, to render them shattered almost beyond repair. How could anyone let someone have that much control over their heart and soul? Katie had seen what had happened to poor Emily when someone abused that control, why would she ever want to feel that shit, that distraught, out of control and incomplete again?
In Katie's eyes, Sophia surely earned any and all seemingly exaggerated derogatory titles, that Katie branded her with, with flying fucking colours. Yes Effy, "evil" certainly being one of them.
Katie used to think Emily was stupid to fall in love again; surely the damage was too great to risk. Katie now understands that Emily is the bravest person she knows; being in love must feel REALLY fucking good.
It's no wonder Katie thinks to herself that she hasn't had a decent, long-term relationship, which had a thread of deep feeling in it…ever. Katie is now painfully aware that she has never been in love. Painfully was right as recently Katie feels like there are thick ropes constricting her chest, making it hard for her to shake off an unrequited, desperate sort of feeling that has something to do with her increasing and overwhelming desire for complete happiness. The ropes squeeze a little bit tighter when she's around Emily and Naomi.
Katie subconsciously rubs the skin over her heart and sighs again.
"I know you like her and them." Effy placates,
"It's like it's the real fucking deal now you know? I can just tell, Emily and Naomi, boom. It never hurt before, I wasn't jealous before Eff, but this, them, it's more real some how now and ever since I've witnessed the fucking…magnitude of their love for each other, just by looking at them, even right now," she points her champagne flute in her sister's and Naomi's direction, "I want it. I want what they have. Even if it's fucking scary as shit because it could go tits up and I might die of a broken heart. Emily, they have shown me it must be worth it. For the first time in my life I know what I want and I'm not afraid anymore, I want to be in love."
"I know babe. They make my fucking heart hurt."
Katie laughs with her friend, the petite brunette's eyes still blazing from her passionate revelation. She shakes her head and bites her smiling bottom lip, Effy always seems to understand how her friend is feeling, maybe even more than Emily. The ropes loosen slightly. Katie appreciates that Effy just listens and never judges her.
The girls are laughing still when Emily approaches, a lazy grin illuminating her bonny face.
"Kay-teeehhh! Effeehhh!" Emily squeals delightedly at her sister and friend whilst grabbing them both into a clumsy, affectionate hug.
"Emileeehhh!" the other two girls chorus.
"enjoying yourselves?" Emily asks with a wink, "abso-fucking-lutely" Effy assures.
Katie nods and collects herself before smiling a little forcedly at Emily, tries to hide her recent serious expression, knows that Emily notices though and prepares herself for concerned interrogation. I'll tell her how I feel she decides, Emily would only spend the rest of the night worrying about her, probably thinks I've never looked so thoughtful.
Before Katie has a chance to awkwardly ask Emily for a private word, Effy intuitively tells them that she is "going over there to chat to Naomi about…carbon emissions…and shit."
Katie smiles and Emily shrugs their goodbyes to her.
"So I wanted to tell you something."
"So what's up?"
Katie and Emily say at the same and grunt in exasperation, bloody twin connection, gets in the way of conversation…don't even need WORDS sometimes!
Katie eventually starts, "I just wanted to say I'm really happy for you, like, honestly. And I like Naomi, as a person and for what she does to you, you two are so meant for each other its…painful actually". Emily's radiant smile slightly faltered to confused at the last part of her twins' eagerly anticipated admission. Katie picked up on it and quickly told her what has recently being making her uncomfortable in the comfortableness of her life. Deep breath.
"I'm jealous of you, I want what you have and I wanna be in love" she rushes out.
Emily blinks rapidly before replying; "Wow…that's…wow!" she beams, "So no more one-night-meaningless stands eh? Or going out with blokes you think you like until they fall in love with you and you realize something isn't right and break their heart?" Emily thinks she may have been a bit too honest with her twin.
"Exactly", Katie says "only that something is what I now realize to be the source of my future happiness, being undeniably in love with someone." Katie looks proud of herself.
"I'm very proud of you Kates", Emily looks emotional all of a sudden and embraces her sister tightly, knows she is letting Katie know without words how much she cherishes all that she said about Naomi, and how comforted she feels now that Katie is finally listening to herself and how she has all the faith in the world that Katie will find a way to make herself happy.
Just then Effy and Naomi bound over towards the sisters, party poppers and more drinks clutched in their hands, ready to join them for the New Years Eve countdown.
"Ten! Nine! Eight!..." everyone choruses, a collective buzz courses through the flat party, "Seven! Six! Five!..." Emily and Naomi steal a quick but passionate peck on the lips, giggling from all the fun surrounding them, the last kiss of 2010.
"Four! Three! Two! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" cheers and kisses and hugs and glasses clink and poppers pop, all amalgamate to caress the senses and lift the spirits. Naomi and Emily share a deep lovers kiss, happy to be in each others arms for new year, happier knowing they will be for many, many years.
"Happy New Year Katie", Effy smiles at her friend and leans down to kiss her on the lips, full of purpose. Tries to tell her something. "Happy New Year Eff" Katie lazily smiles back.
"You know how your saying you're completely open to love, unafraid? Well I just want you to remember, that it means you have to be open to love… to anyone" Effy winks and smirks wryly.
"Whadya mean Eff?" Katie muses, still a bit fuzzy from the bubbly booze tonight.
Effy laughs as she retreats, slinks away, "You'll figure it out Clever Princess".
Katie thinks about her future and her New Year.
Katie feels content, and excited, and invigorated and most importantly, for once, brave.
I'm not afraid to love anymore, I will find my happiness. I'm Katie Fucking Fitch.
Hi again So any hints, tips, clues, likes, dislikes? All are welcome, please RnR you lovely lot.
