My attempt to write smut always is overcome with my yearning to be funny.

It never works out, but I upload it anyway.


Dave Karofsky tried to stifle his laughter as Kurt tugged him into the boy's locker room. Kurt twisted the door lock behind him and yanked Dave into a strong embrace. The stench of the locker room was enough to squelch any feeling of sexiness, but the two boys ignored it, they were caught in a moment of pure love.

"So this is where we had our first kiss." Dave remembered, his arms tightening around Kurt's small waist.

"Uh-uh." Kurt mumbled. "But this time, I'll be the one to kiss you." He barely managed to get the last words out as he was oh so eager to have his lips connected with Dave's.

At first, it was slow and soft, but Kurt was anxious for it to turn into something more. He took the initiative and soon the kiss was all tongue and lust and wanting.

Kurt soon reached for Karofsky's belt buckle, fumbling to get it open as fast as he could. To his dismay, Dave stopped him and held his shoulders in place. "Uh, Kurt, are you sure you want to do this? Our first time? In a locker room? Anybody could come in."

"Ugh, Davey. I locked the door. Stop protesting. I want you. Now." He said the word with a ferocious growl, which erased any feeling of doubt or worry in Dave's mind.

Kurt went back to his job of releasing Dave's jeans from his belt. Soon, the boys where in nothing but their undergarments. This was soon untrue, however, as Kurt traveled down to Dave's boxers and pulled yanked them down, so they were now surrounding Dave's ankles. Kurt snickered as he mouthed Dave's monstrous length.

If only the couple had known that they had not locked the door properly. That Finn had left something in the locker room.

The door quickly squeaked open to reveal a disgusted looking Finn Hudson.

All the two boys could do was look up at their new guest and hope that this was an illusion. Alas, this was the reality, and the couple was stuck in it.

"AGHHH!" Was what Finn said as he slammed the door and ran down the hall.

The boys were momentarily frozen until Kurt shrugged, got up, and locked the door –for real this time- and went back to his job.