There was only one person in the entire city of Port Charles that didn't want her to be someone else. She had started seeking him out because he didn't feel the need to constantly compare her to the angel that had preceded her in the small town. He never once accidentally called her by her lookalike's name or bored her with stories about some sainted girl she would never know. Everywhere she went, she was haunted by the memory of Emily Quartermaine. People were forever looking at her like she was a ghost. It was maddening really, to be compared to someone that was dead while she was still very much alive. He was the only place she could go to not see that look of disappointment when someone realized that she was just her.
Rebecca Shaw had never even heard of Port Charles, New York, before she had found a listing for a radiologist tech online. She was two months past due on her tiny studio apartment in Manhattan and in desperate search for anything that would get her out of the city and out of the red. She had led the life of a drifter, following her parents from one coast to the other before the age of ten. She had never stayed in the same place more than six months, not even after she ventured out on her own at seventeen. Bad luck had always been her curse, and it had followed her to the harbor city. Only Rebecca would end up quarantined in a hospital and nearly killed in a fire on her first night in town. She should have known then that it was a sign.
The first person to tell her about Emily was Jason Morgan. She had been briefly intrigued by his bone-chilling blue eyes and chiseled features when he had found her passed out after the explosion. However, any chance of a tumble in the hay was immediately dispelled when he mentioned her curious resemblance to his late baby sister. She hated the way that he looked at her in the smoky hallway as though he was staring right through her. It was a look that she would soon get used to, however, as person after person compared her to the medical student who was murdered more than a year before she showed up in town.
Probably the hardest person for her to face had been Jason and Emily's mother, Dr. Monica Quartermaine. Even a tough girl like Rebecca had to be affected by the mother's blatant grief. She had heard the woman's story after being in town for a few weeks, and Rebecca could empathize with the amount of loss in her life. She had lost too many people she loved not to feel sympathy for the cardiologist. Still, as much as she felt for her, she wasn't about to try to soothe her anguish. She refused to live her life in the shadow of anyone, let alone someone who was so completely the opposite of her.
As charming and polite as Nikolas Cassadine was, he had proven to be quite a thorn in Rebecca's side. It had taken three threats and a call from Diane Miller to convince him to back off even a little bit. Her heart went out to the guy because he was obviously devastated about losing Emily. However, he was not at all her style, and even if he was, it was just too weird. Besides, she actually liked the loopy blonde that followed him around and had decided early on that Nadine Crowell was better suited for him than she could ever be. If only he could open up those pretty dark eyes and see what he had in front of him, Rebecca knew that they would both be better off.
The one good thing that had come out of knowing Nikolas was Lucky Spencer. They met for the first time in the lobby of the Metrocourt. He had only faltered slightly when he had seen her before jumping immediately into his line of questioning. She answered them curtly, satisfying his curiosity quickly. Then, after about ten minutes of small talk, he had apologized for his demanding behavior and excused himself when a call from the polite station came in. His blue eyes had stayed on her mind long after he had made his departure. When they had run into each other on the docks two days later, she had finally asked her very first question about the girl everyone wanted her to be.
"What was so special about Emily?"
Lucky looked down at his hands and smiled nostalgically. How could he explain what she had meant to him? There were no words that could ever do Emily justice. "What wasn't special about her?" he asked rhetorically. "When I first met Emily, she was this scared little girl with knobby knees and a wild spirit. Over the years, I got to see that awkward teenager blossom into an amazing doctor and beautiful woman. She had a big heart, probably the biggest I've ever seen. She knew how to really be there for someone, and when she loved you, she loved you with everything she had. There were a million little things that made her special, but I guess what made her really special was that she was my best friend."
In all her years on this earth, no one had ever spoke as passionately and as heartfelt as Lucky just had about Emily. It was different from the way that Nikolas or Elizabeth or Monica spoke about the woman. This came from a place of not necessarily missing her but of celebrating her. "I'm not her, you know?"
"I'm not asking you to be," he pointed out. "I would never want someone else to be Emily. She can't be replaced. I still miss her everyday, but she wouldn't want me to dwell on it. She would want me to take the opportunity to make a new friend and run with it."
"So is that what we're going to be then?" Rebecca smiled genuinely. She could really use a friend. Life in Port Charles moved slow and could get lonely for a vagabond like her. "Are we going to be friends?"
He pursed his lips in deep contemplation. "I'm not sure yet, but I'm willing to try."
And so, Lucky and Rebecca had started to get to know each other. He made it a point to never speak about Emily with her. Instead, he told his own stories of growing up on the road, spinning these amazing tales about living on the run with his parents all over the United States and Canada. She became his confidant as he worked out his issues with Sam and Elizabeth, a sounding board when he needed to make sense of the mess his relationships had become. He listened patiently when she stressed over not having enough money to make ends meet and complained about whatever Emily incident had come up that day. They would meet for lunch in between her shifts at Mercy or for coffee in the morning after he'd pulled an all nighter. Finally, after a few weeks of talking for hours on end, Rebecca finally felt comfortable enough to talk about Emily with him.
He had taken her to the boardwalk where he would meet Emily nearly every day in the summer as a kid. They'd walked around for hours while he told her all these tales of their adolescent antics, everything from roller skating in the Quartermaines' hallways to the rattlesnake incident to the Dead Ted fiasco to her heroic battle with cancer. Rebecca didn't ask any questions, she mostly just listened. It was like therapy for both of them. It allowed Lucky to remember things he hadn't thought about much since losing his best friend, and it gave Rebecca a chance to come to terms with the role she had been cast in. Finally, after they had stopped for grape snow cones in Emily's honor, she asked the only question that had been on her mind.
"Were you in love with her?"
This was a difficult subject for Lucky. There had always been more to their relationship than friendship. He had loved Emily in one way or another since they were ten-years-old. "At times," he confessed. "Emily was just like that. You couldn't help but fall in love with her."
"Did she love you?"
His face lit up as he nodded slowly. She might not have necessarily been in love with him, but he knew how much Emily had loved him. "She was the first girl I ever kissed," he told her. "I used to sneak out to her house in high school and throw pebbles at her window. She was there when I woke up from my coma. A lot of my life includes memories of Em. We definitely loved each other."
"Why didn't you ever get together?"
"I wanted to about five years ago, but she was still in love with my brother. I told her that I would always love her no matter what, and I did. I still do," he admitted. "I think that Nikolas was to Emily what Elizabeth has been to me. Still, despite the other people in our lives, Emily and I still shared something with each other that no one could ever understand."
"That's why you didn't need to compare me to her, isn't it?"
"It wouldn't be fair to either one of you. It's entirely possible to have you in my life as Rebecca and still remember Emily for the incredible person that she was," he acknowledged. "They're not mutually exclusive. I know what it's like to be compared to someone. People have done it with my dad and me my entire life. Hell, they even compared the pre-fire me to the one that came back a year after I had supposedly died."
"Do you think Emily would have liked me?"
Lucky raised his eyebrow. "Honestly?" Rebecca nodded. "I doubt the two of you would have been lifelong friends, but she wouldn't have hated you. You're not really all that much alike. Other than the fact that you look like her, I'm having a hard time finding any real comparisons."
"Well, we're both friends with you."
"Okay, so maybe you both have questionable judgment," he teased. "Seriously, Bec, I know you're not her." Rebecca looped her arm through his as they strolled back to the empty lot where he'd parked his police cruiser. That was the first time she ever felt anything other than friendship for the handsome detective. That was when she knew it was something more.
Yet, no matter what her hormones and her heart were telling her, she wasn't about to wreck the first real friendship she had built in years by putting the moves on Lucky. He was trying to make a go of it with Elizabeth for the umpteenth time, and she wouldn't be the one to destroy their chance. It was only after he had called her drunk at Jake's late one night, babbling on and on until he had dropped his phone in a pitcher of beer. Rebecca had made the trek across town to find him knocking back shots alone at the bar with Coleman and rambling nonsense about Elizabeth and Matt Hunter. The only solace he seemed to find in the situation was that his ex-wife had left him for a respectable doctor and not a mobster this time around.
"Bec!"
"Hey, Lucky, why don't we slow down there a little," she suggested as she pried the empty shot glass from his hand. Lucky snatched it back and slid it across the bar for a refill. "Seriously, come on, you don't want to drink away your problems."
"See, that's where you are wrong, Bec," he argued pointedly. "That is exactly what I want to do. I've got my friends to help me get through. Johnnie, Jack, Jim and Jose – see, the gang's all here!"
Rebecca managed to intercept the bottle of Jack Daniels and drag Lucky away from the bar to an empty table in the corner so that he could sober up. She traded his shot class for a pair of coffee mugs before heading back to where he was slumped over the booth. "Alright, spill," she ordered. "What happened?"
"Apparently I am still not good enough for Elizabeth," he laughed humorlessly. "We broke up."
"That sucks."
He scoffed at her insensitivity. She still struggled with that part of friendship sometimes. "Uh, thanks."
"Sorry," she apologized softly. "What can I do?"
"Let me get drunker."
"Nope, not gonna happen," she shook her head. He would only end up hating himself in the morning. "What else ya got? We could play some pool or drive around until you cool down. Whatever you want, but you're not getting any more alcohol."
"Let's dance then. I can't just sit here. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin."
Rebecca had never really liked dancing but she was pretty much willing to do anything to not have him drink anymore. She stood up and reached out her hand for him to take. He followed her clumsily to the makeshift dance floor and wrapped his arms around her. Rebecca tried not to fall over as he pressed all his weight against her and spun in a circle completely out of tune to the old soul song on the jukebox. "See, this isn't so bad," she said softly as she pressed her cheek against his. She felt Lucky nod as her eyes slipped closed. This might be the only way she was ever in his arms, so she was determined to enjoy the moment while it lasted. "How you holding up there, Champ?"
"The room is spinning."
"We're turning in a circle, Lucky."
"Hey, Bec?"
"Yeah?"
He pulled back to look into her eyes. They were the same shape and color as Emily's but they looked nothing like hers. There wasn't that same familiarity that years of friendship gave two people. Instead, he saw a glimmer of hope and a spark of something new. "Why didn't I see it before?"
Rebecca was confused. He was making very little sense in his drunken state. "See what?"
"You," he whispered as he leaned in. She knew he was about to kiss her when he turned away suddenly and covered his mouth. He doubled over and clutched his stomach, willing the bile rising up his throat not to come. "I think I'm going to throw up."
Lucky spent the next thirty minutes paying homage to the porcelain gods before passing out in one of the rooms above the bar. Rebecca tucked him and then sat up watching him all night while he slept. He cried out in his sleep a few times, murmuring incoherently about Elizabeth and Emily and her. She fell asleep some time before the sun rose, lying on her side facing him. Her peaceful face was the first thing he saw when he woke up.
His mouth felt like it was filled with cotton and an elephant was dancing quite a waltz behind his eyes, but Lucky still managed to prop himself up on his elbow and look down at the beautiful woman beside him. He gently shook her awake and smiled when her eyes fluttered open to meet his. "Morning."
"Morning," she mumbled before throwing her hands over her face to block out the sun. "What time is it?"
"I saw you last night."
"Um, I think that's pretty obvious, Lucky," she said sarcastically. "I showed up because you called me completely drunk."
"No, that's not what I meant," he replied. "I saw you last night."
"Okay…"
"I'm not explaining this right," he sighed heavily as he sat up. Rebecca followed his lead and sat up across from him. "I always knew you weren't Emily, but last night was the first time I really got what that meant. You're you and I like that."
"Well, thanks, I guess."
He was becoming frustrated with his inability to explain how he felt. "I like you, Bec," he said finally. "I like that you don't apologize for who you are and how you aren't afraid to call me on my stuff and how you listen to me without feeling the need to dispense advice. I like how easy it is to be with you."
"I like you, too, Lucky," she assured him, patting his hand like she would a small child. She really didn't get what he was trying to say to her. "You've been a good friend to me."
"I see more than that when I look at you," he confessed. "That's what I saw in your eyes last night when I saw you. Look, I know I'm totally screwed up right now and I probably need some time before jumping into anything, but when I get my act together, I want to give whatever this is a try. I really like what I saw."
"I'm only going to say this one more time," Rebecca warned. "I'm not her."
He took her hand in his and entangled their fingers together. "Good," he smiled, "because she's not the one I want. It's you, Bec. You're the one."
Lucky was the place that Rebecca went to when she needed to feel like she was worthy of the unconditional love that Emily had been so rich in during her short life. People might look at her like she was someone else, but one look into his beautiful blue eyes and she knew that it was more than enough just to be herself. She was no longer angry at the memory of Emily Quartermaine but welcomed it. She would never be a promising young doctor or a cancer survivor or a fairytale princess, and that was okay with her. Emily had been a lot of things to a lot of people, but Rebecca was the lucky girl who got to be everything to someone. He never compared them and never called her by the wrong name. There was only one person in the entire city of Port Charles that had never wanted her to be someone else, and that was how she knew they would live happily ever after.
Fin.
