Kyle Tennyson Special Story part 1: Meet the Pyro!

I don't understand how I got here. I don't understand why I was here at all, or who sent me here. All I know is, I met the most psychotic person in the… um… multiverse? Pyro. Who? If you are familiar with Team Fortress 2, you should know exactly who I am talking about. Mind you, Pyro is rather… nice, and I got to know a lot about Pyro, and my story shall be told here.

I had woken up in the middle of an abandoned area. No one else around. All I heard was gunfire, and explosions. I looked at my Ultimatrix. I asked it, "Ultimatrix, what happened?" It replied, "Once you were forced through the vortex, you and the HighBreed split up from each other."

I replied, "Well, isn't that-" A large man, carrying a mini-gun ran into the hallway I was lying down in. I slowly got up, and looked at him. He was bald, rugged-looking, and seemed to be imposing. He wore a red shirt with what looked like a sleeveless black vest, and a large ammo strap. He spoke. "How did leetle man get here? Are you new?" Seemed extremely Russian. Cool. Just like NRG.

I replied, "I don't know, big guy. I just somehow wandered in here." He said, "Stick with me, tiny man. Trust me. You will need weapon." I nodded, and followed the large man. "What's with calling me tiny?" I asked him. He said, "I call everyone tiny. Get used to it." We ran into a guy in a blue military outfit with an army helmet. "Maggots!" He yelled in a drill sergeant-y voice. He pulled out a rocket launcher, and fired out a rocket at us. The Russian man pulled me behind him and jumped behind the corner. He got the barrel of his mini-gun to spin around. He then jumped out and yelled, "NOW IS COWARD KILLING TIME!" That gun was firing so many bullets, I could barely keep track of it. He took out the military man in 3 seconds. I even counted. Blood scattered all over the floor.

I yelled, "OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED THAT GUY!" The Russian man said, "Da. Is his job. Don't worry. He come back after a few seconds in enemy base anyway." He laughed. "As long as mission lasts, that is. Hahaha!" He ran ahead, and I ran behind him. He took me to a room marked 'resupply'. Inside was a man in a cowboy hat, checking out his sniper rifle. "Heavy. New blood, eh?"

'Heavy' as this man was called, replied, "Da. Could have gotten butt killed by blue Soldier had I not come! Leetle man, meet Sniper." I replied, "Hi." He said, "G'day, mate. Wait here. We'll tell you what's going on when the mission ends." I nodded, and both Sniper and Heavy left me to sit down and collect myself. I lied down to collect my breath. Blue Soldier? Sniper? Heavy? What does all this mean? I had almost no time to collect my thoughts, as another guy ran in. He had a baseball cap on, and was carrying a hunting rifle. He even had a headset on. he barely looked older than me, and he wore dog tags.

"Hey. Who're you, man? Mann Co. didn't say nothin' 'bout new blood." I replied, "Mann Co.?" he said, "Un-frickin-believable! Yo. Tiny. You lucky you're on the Red Team. Otherwise, you'd be dominated, chucklehead!" I yelled, "Who you callin' chucklehead, you jerk?" He replied, "Aw, you gonna cry now? You gonna cry?" I got up, and punched him across the face. I then said, "Look who got dominated, chucklehead! Look who got dominated, right there!" He swung his baseball bat into my face. "BONK!" he yelled after he hit me. He then jumped on me, and we were rolling along the ground, when all of a sudden, a guy in a hard hat walked in. "What in tarnation?! Boys! Stop this senselss-" He pulled us apart.

He asked the guy with the bat, "Scout, what happened here? And you!" He turned his gaze to me. "Who are you?" I replied, "I'm Kyle Tennyson. Chucklehead over here got snobby and decided to go BONK with his bat. I didn't do anything." Scout said, "Yeah right. Look at you! You ain't even supposed to be here, idiot." The hard-hat guy said, "Calm down, boys! Now's not the time to fight. Kyle, stay here while we get this all sorted out nice-like. Scout, we need you to take the point. Not fighting the new guy." Scout gave me one final stare before running out. I looked at the hard hat guy.

"Sorry, Kyle." He said. "Name's Engineer. Call me Engie." I replied, "No prob, Engie. I was just trying to gather my thoughts. It's obvious I'm not supposed to be here, but…" There was a female voice that blared all of a sudden. "Attention! The BLU's have taken point B!" Engineer said, "Dad-gum those BLU's! Stay here. I need to report to the sentries and dispensers." I replied, "Um, sure." He grabbed a shotgun, and ran back out to the battlefield. I lied back down on the bench, and turned towards the lockers that were nearest me. I found one that held a fireproof suit, what looked like a gas mask, and a purse. It had a yellow flower on it. Good purse, I guess, but I'm not here to- okay. One of them is a girl. I guess? I closed my eyes. I heard the door opening and closing now and then as I napped, but whoever was entering and leaving chose not to bug me. I stayed that way for a good half an hour before someone tapped me on the back. I turned around, hoping it was Heavy or Engie, but I saw the person in the gas mask. I fell off the chair, startled at the site, and gulped. Those eye pieces… they looked like they were staring into my soul! The person waved at me, saying, "Hllo!" In this muffled tone. Most likely because of the mask.

"Hi. Kyle Tennyson." I said. Quite frankly, the HighBreed looked worse than a gas mask does, so I was able to catch my breath quicker. "I, Kle T-son." I heard. "I- Pyo" It continued.

"Pyo?" I asked the mysterious person. It shook it's head. "O. Py… ro."

"Oh! Pyro!" I said. "That makes a hell of a lot more sense, dude. Thanks." "O Prblem!" I heard. I shook hands with Pyro, wondering what it was thinking. "So… Hw'd u gt her?" Pyro asked. I replied, "I just um, ended up here. It's impossible, I know, but things are a little weird here." Pyro stated, "Ma, te me 'bou it. I ki peep day n n day ou. Craz lif this is, bro." I nodded. I'm getting a little used to this speech now, so I can communicate with Pyro alright. "Yeah. I wouldn't know what that's like, Pyro. I've killed before, but not as much as you." Pyro looked at me. It said, "U lik fir?" I said, "Fire? As much as any dude should. Hell, I can control it." Pyro laughed. I said, "Don't believe me?" Pyro shook it's head. I keep saying it, because I don't know what gender Pyro is. For all I know, Pyro could be an alien, or it does have a gender, but I don't know it. Hard to tell if you are just wearing a gas mask, admittedly. I turned the Ultimatrix on, scrolling to Heatblast's hologram. Pyro said, "Ooh. Ho-ogra." I said, "That's barely half of what this baby can do." I slapped the faceplate down, becoming Heatblast for Pyro. Pyro jumped backwards, looking at me. I said, "I know this looks weird, Pyro. But I am made of fire." Pyro nodded, then pulled out a giant blowtorch-like device. It said, "Wa-a go ki some bu's? I said, "Um, I guess." Pyro ran out, and I followed behind Pyro. I looked ahead, seeing Heavy gunning down a blue professor like guy, I saw a red version of the soldier blasting upwards to hit a blue Engineer whacking some gun embankments with his wrench, and I saw a red guy in a ski-mask get backstabbed by an invisible figure. Pyro ran down towards the fallen ski-mask man. I ran behind Pyro, and Pyro shot some flames behind the ski-mask guy. I saw it uncloak itself, and it was a blue ski-masked man. I shot two flamethrowers at him, and he yelled, "Sacre blu! Fire!" He suddenly burnt to a crisp. Pyro and I high-fived. "Nt ba for yo firs ki, Kle." It said. I said, "I try, dude. I try." I then felt some bullets hit my back, and I saw a scared looking Blue Heavy was shooting at me. I tossed a fireball at him, and it exploded. I heard a dying scream from him. I nodded. Pyro dropped its blowtorch, then stared at me. "What?" I asked Pyro. Pyro said, "Tha. Wa. Awe-ome!" It yelled while shaking its arms like it just didn't care. I laughed nervously. Pyro then got shot, by a blue Scout. "Ha! Take that Knucklehead!" I heard from him. I launched myself at him, and slammed him into a wall, and did a fiery explosion. He did his dying wail, then I heard from some loud speakers, "Victory! RED team wins!" I yelled, "Oh yeah! Who's bad!" I was suddenly teleported to the locker room, where a Red Professor was using a gun-like device with a red stream of light coming out, healing the hole in Pyro's chest. "Zere." The professor said. "It's done, Pyro."

"Ank yo, oc." Pyro said. Everyone turned to me. They all screamed, except for Pyro. Sniper said, "Holy douley!" Heavy yelled, "OH NO!" Scout screamed, Engineer said, "That's something you don't see every day." I changed back to me, then said, "It's okay, guys. I'm human, like the rest of ya." A black man with an eyepatch spoke. "Okay. Ah 'new Ah was drunk, but not tha' drunk! Ah only had one scrumpy!" Everyone looked at him. "Okay. Maybe two. Or three." He continued. I said, "I know this is rather abrupt, but to those of you I don't know, I'm Kyle Tennyson. I know I'm not supposed to be here, But I have no way to get home right now. I know this is-" Heavy interrupted. "You are hero! Had you not kill BLU Heavy, no man could reach top to point and take it." The ski-mask man said, "But of course. With the power to turn into a burning man, victory was assured." I said, "Yeah. I try to help. So the blue guys are the bad guys?"

Sniper said, "Not 'zactly, mate. They're our enemies, sure, but this ain't 'bout good or evil. It's 'bout winning and losing." The professor said, "Ya. Dummkopf." I said, "Um, what?" Scout said, "Medic called you stupid, stupid!" I clobbered Scout, then said, "Okay. Fine. But I helped you guys win that one." Heavy said, "Yes. Was long trip. Was last match for day, too. Time to get home." Medic said, "Yes! I need some sleep!" Everyone left the area, and I followed behind Heavy to get to their transport truck. Pyro stuck close to me, and Pyro was holding onto a purse. The purse belongs to Pyro? Um… Okay. Could mean anything, so I'll still say it. On the way back, Heavy introduced me to everyone else.

"This is Scout." He said, pointing to Scout. "Seems you leetle men no get along well." Scout said, "Uh, no!" I said, "I concur." Heavy then walked to the guy in the military hat. "This is Soldier. Without him, we no get in line." Solider said, "That's right, maggots! Without me, Tennyson, these boys wouldn't know how to tie their own shoelaces!" I heard Medic yell, "Nein!" Soldier turned to him. "Is that so?" Heavy continued. "Seems you already know Pyro." We looked at each other, then I looked at it's purse. I gulped. Pyro waved again. I waved nervously to Pyro. Heavy then continued, "Drunken man here is Demoman. He like blowing up things." Demoman stated, "Ya' bet, laddie! Ah set up bomb traps! Everywhere! Those BLU's glue themselves back together, though. Very annoying, those BLU's!" Heavy said, "I, am Heavy Weapons Guy. I shoot BLU's, they die. That's all you need to know. Oh. And never, ever touch my gun, Sasha." I said, "Sure. I will live by those words, Heavy." Heavy then looked at Engineer. "This is Engineer. He builds things that kill people." Engineer nodded to me in response. Heavy said, "This is Medic. He is doktor, and heals everybody." Medic looked at me. "Guten tag." He said, curtly. Heavy said, "You know Sniper. You know what he do." I said, "I sure do. I've done some sniping in my day, Sniper." Sniper raised his eyebrow. "Oh, have you, mate?" Heavy said, "And finally, Spy. He sneaks around and kills the BLU's." Spy said, "My big friend, you forgot to mention, I can disguise myself as ze BLU's, no?" I raised my eyebrow. He then said, "Observe, mon ami." He pulled out a pencil case, pushed a button, then transformed into a blue Pyro. I blinked for a second. He then turned the disguise off. "Quite simple, you see." He then did a Pepe Le Pew laugh. I snickered to myself. What a crowd of people. I could get used to hanging out with these guys. There doesn't seem to be consequences for killing anyone here either, as they return to the locker room after they die on the battlefield apparently. Oh boy. Needless destruction at no cost to anyone else. I know why they signed up for this now.

Part 1, end.

A/N: I will end this later, but since I am still job searching, that may be awhile. No need to worry, K10AF chapter 16 is still in the works. Would you all like to see more?