Timeless

Stace

Category: Angsty

Summary: He'd never allow himself to do this again, it was too dangerous and too painful (Post Doomsday)

Warnings: Small spoiler for 'The Christmas Invasion.'

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing, nadda zip or even zilch.

Author's Notes: This is my first Doctor Who fic. I'm not sure if the idea is possible (Paradoxes + me brain convulsions) but I thought I'd try it anyway.


He stood still in the shadows as the ash swirled around him, watching as the fragmented ship burned in the sky like fireworks.

It all felt like such a long time ago now.

The sound of a door opening jolted him back to reality and in a moment rarely associated with a Time Lord, time stood still.

She was exactly how he remembered her… dancing around in the ash without a care in the world.

She seemed so happy, they both did. It was a strong contrast to his memory of their last meeting.

'And what about you? What are you gonna do next?'

He caught her words as they floated through the air and in the distance he heard himself reply.

It was possibly the worst torture he could inflict on himself…going back.

Not to mention how reckless and stupid an idea it was, risking tearing a whole in the fabric of time just so he could see her again.

The weak side of him wanted nothing more than to go to her, tell her how much he missed her and utter the words that he had been too late to say or at the very least warn himself of the impending doom that would throw both their lives into shambles.

The consequences in his mind would almost be worth it. So what if the world ended? It's not like his world meant anything without her in it.

He entertained the thought briefly but ultimately he knew he couldn't do it. He couldn't make that kind of sacrifice, no matter how much he wanted to.

He closed his eyes listening to their conversation, relishing as the sound of her voice once again graced his ears. He missed her, he missed their conversations, their jokes… he missed her entire precence in his life and as he stood still, the wind blowing around him, it was just enough to sustain him.

He wasn't sure how long he stood like that, motionless, simply listening… but the door was once again the sound that caught his attention and this time the seconds raced by as he caught his last glimpses of her before she returned into the house.

The other version of himself moved to follow her but then hesistated slightly, turning around and squinting as if trying to ascertain if something was there.

The desire to make himself known was strong but a call from the house saw his other self turn and move inside before he had the chance.

He let out a long slow breath… it was over. He'd never allow himself to do this again, it was too dangerous and too painful.

Turning around he began his short walk back to the Tardis, musing on the irony of it all.

He manipulated, traveled, lived and breathed time. He was the lord of it all but he could and never would be able to find a time in which he could ever really let her go.

His heart was broken and his hurt would be timeless.