Disclaimer: I own do not own ANY of these characters
Frodo goes to Hogwarts
By JKR Towlkien
Frodo Baggins of the shire wandered about Hobbiton, trying to think of something to do. He would be turning 33 in just a week and most of the hobbits were already preparing for his and his uncle's enormous birthday party. But that all seemed very boring and far off at the moment. There was really only one thing that he wanted to do at the moment and that was to have an adventure, like the ones that Bilbo talked of so often. But it was such a farfetched idea, that he could barely pack a picnic and leave for a day or sleep out under the stars. And where would he go if he did decide to have an adventure? The Misty Mountains? Surely not! Rivendell? What an absurd idea! Bree? No, even Bree was farther than he wanted to go.
He sighed and sat down under an oak tree. How would he ever get anywhere!? Suddenly, out of nowhere, Frodo felt a blast of air, and realized that it was because he was being sucked towards something. Air rushed by his ears and everything became a blur. He was jerked suddenly to a stop and found himself standing in a very nice room with pictures of sleeping old men and women. Had he not been so scared and shocked at having been swept away from Hobbiton, he might've found it odd that somebody would paint sleeping old men and women.
"May I help you?" Asked a very calming voice from behind Frodo. He whipped around at once and saw an old man with a very long beard (longer than Gandalf's in fact) smiling at him.
"I did nothing!' said Frodo instinctively.
"I have neither seen you, nor accused you of doing anything. All that I wish to ask is what you are doing here in my office? Are you a new student here? I rather think that I would have known you were coming, but alas, I am an old man. And I do admit that sometimes I forget things."
"I-" Began Frodo, intending to say 'I most certainly am not!' but he stopped in mid sentence to think. So this was a school of sorts, for hobbits he assumed. Otherwise the man would not have asked him. So perhaps Frodo had been sent there on purpose, it hadn't been a bad accident after all! "I- suppose that I am, yes."
The man's eyes sparkled from behind his half moon glasses, as he got up. "I feel," He began "That I have not yet properly introduced myself. I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry."
Wizardry??? Something clicked. Wizards! Gandalf was a wizard! Gandalf had sent him!!! Frodo was delighted at having figured this out. "I am Frodo Baggins, pleasure to meet you." and he shook Dumbledore's hand.
"Yes, well seeing how you have arrived later than most students, I shall sort you myself right now. This is the sorting hat." He pointed to an oddly familiar hat. "I will place it on your head and you will be sorted into your house. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherine or Ravenclaw. While you are here, your house will be like your family." And before Frodo could object, the Hat was placed onto his head, sliding down to his shoulders, and all that could be heard of Frodo's protests were muffled cries of deep disapproval. After a minute or two, the hat shouted "Gryffindor!"
"What?" asked Dumbledore, apparently amazed.
"Well, when I told him that he wasn't brave enough to be in Gryffindor, and that he ought to be in something a bit more mild like Hufflepuff, he objected and said that he was too brave and that I ought to put him in Gryffindor."
"I do hope that's not how you sort all of our students." Dumbledore said in a good humored jest.
"Er...of course not." The sorting hat muttered, guiltily remembering all of the kids he'd taken pity on and put in the house of their choice (mainly Gryffindor), in fact it amazed the hat that Dumbledore had not yet noticed that there were about four times the amount of students in Gryffindor than in any other house. Of course, any kid that sassed off to him got put in Hufflepuff and anybody that made a particularly good joke about Dumbledore's beard was out in Slytherine.
"Well I'm glad that's settled." Said Frodo, his voice muffled through the hat.
"I beg your pardon?" Said Dumbledore.
"What?" Asked Frodo.
"Huh? Oh, let me take that hat off of you."
Frodo gasped for fresh air as he was released form his odd prison.
"Now I'll have one of the students show you how to get to the Gryffindor common room." Dumbledore led Frodo out into a corridor that was positively packed with-
"Children?" Questioned Frodo. "Oh dear, they've mistaken me for a hobbitling!"
Of course, technically Frodo was still a hobbitling of sorts, as of, he had not yet come upon his 33rd birthday. But this? This was degrading! These children could not be past 13 and were already much taller than the 32 year old hobbit. "I'm afraid that there's been some sort of mistake." He said.
"Not to worry!" said a black haired bespectacled boy, walking up to Frodo. "I didn't think that I'd fit in either when I first got here, but look at me now! I'm seeker in quittich, can produce a patronus, have been champion in the triwizard tournament and-"
"Ahem." Said a bushy haired girl, who was carrying an armload of books and giving the boy a stern look.
"Er...I'm Harry Potter and this is Hermione Granger and this-" He stepped aside to reveal a very undermined looking red haired boy "Is Ron Weasley."
"No, you see I'm a bit more advanced than you." Began Frodo "Why I'm nearly- Uff!" A crowd of kids knocked him over; two kids turned around and did it again for the heck of it. They stopped and Frodo had enough time to look up at them."
"Are you alright?" Asked Hermione, from behind him.
"No..." Frodo said "I'm afraid that I'm seeing double."
"Who's this?" Asked a tall red haired boy (one of the two.)
"FRED, GEORGE! You aren't in school anymore! What are you doing here?" Exclaimed Ron.
"Good..." Thought Frodo. "At least the doubles I'm seeing have different names. That way I might not get them mixed up."
"Why Ron! We're here on official Hogwarts business!" said George.
"And what business it's been!" Said Fred.
"We're selling these, magical acorns that transport you to Hogwarts, no matter where you are."
Hermione Gasped. "But you can't! You're breaking all sorts of rules and I read in Hogwarts a history that-"
"Why are you selling them?" asked Ron.
"Extra profits I s'pose." Said George.
"Which have been wicked!" added Fred. "At first they didn't sell too well, but then an old man in a grey cloak-"
"Who was looking for his hat." George added for no special reason.
"-Bought one, and so everybody else began to as well."
"Funny old git." Said Fred. "Paid us with this." He held out a perfectly golden ring. Frodo gazed at its simple beauty. Its golden glint as George held it up slightly in the sun light. It looked dramatic. Like everything Frodo could possibly want. It seemed terrible and yet wonderful.
"What's wrong with this kid?" Fred asked as George moved his hand side to side and was immensely amused by how Frodo's gaze followed.
"I don't know." Everyone shrugged.
"Just give it to him." said Ron. "I bet it isn't real,"
"Real or not ickle Ronnykins, this has got an awesome cool charm, see?" George said, as he slipped on the ring and disappeared. "Besides making us invisible," he continued, still unseen "We're pretty sure it's a hullucina-"
"Gimme!" said Frodo, leaping into the blank space in front of him and wrestling with the invisible George, who reappeared as Frodo snatched the ring from his finger. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred and George gazed at the big footed kid who gazed at the ring in his outstretched hand.
"What was that all about?" asked Harry.
"Honestly! Don't you read?!?" snapped Hermione with obvious annoyance. Harry shook his head, why read when he could play quittich? "this sort of thing has been going on ever since Godric Griffendor! These rings give people power, in fact one had to be destroyed because nearly everybody was after it at the time. But I can't remember the name of the person who destroyed it..." She trailed off, trying to think of the right name.
"Speaking of names," said Ron "Who are you?" This question was directed at Frodo who took no notice, for he was still staring at the ring.
"Hmmm," said George. "Well, we'll just have to call him Bob then."
"BOB!?!" cried Ron and Harry together. Hermione would've joined in, but she had just figured out the name.
"No, let's call him Frodo, Frodo Baggins. That's the one who had the really evil ring! AND he had really big feet too! "
Everybody shrugged. It was better than Bob, so they all set off down the hall, taking it in turns to call over their shoulders to say something like "C'mon Frodo!" or "We're almost there Frodo." Or anything else that they could finish with his name. Frodo was only vaguely aware that he was following anybody, and had completely missed the whole conversation about his name. The ring still lay dangerously in his hand, glinting gold as they passed the numerous torches on the walls.
They reached the portrait of the fat lady some time later.
"Go on Frodo..." said Harry "You say the password!"
"But I don't know the password." Frodo said, startled to find himself facing a moving portrait.
"Oh Harry!" said Hermione, as the group burst out laughing. "Stop being cruel! Go on Frodo, the password is Harry is a lard head."
"Harry is a lard head." Frodo said clearly. Harry stopped laughing as the portrait swung open, though everybody else laughed even harder.
"Someone's changed the password, have they!?!"
"It was Ron's idea." Hermione accused.
"Besides mate," George laughed "The entire school knows it, so the Gryffindors won't have trouble getting in."
"This is your fault!" Harry grumbled dangerously at Frodo, who in turn shivered under Harry's shadow, eyes wide and afraid. But Frodo cheered up in an instant as he saw the comfortable looking chairs and a cozy fire that was crackling pleasantly. He then turned to the nearest person who happened to be Hermione.
"Er...can I get you anything?" she asked, startled to have the small kid with the freakishly large feet, staring up at her.
"Yes thank you. I would like some tea, earl grey if you have it, and some bread and cheese."
"I didn't mean- well...I guess I could...erm...anything else?" She asked, and added under her breath "now that I'm a waitress!"
