The Random Killer Strikes
Notice: I do not own Psych or any of the references I make to other commercial products or media entertainment fictional or not.
Chapter 1
Victim 1: Jerry Chad
Shawn was sitting in his chair, at the Psych office. He usually had time to kill and he'd almost been killed thrice in the past 2 weeks. Maybe it was time to take a vacation.
Gus, his best friend, was busy working at his other job, which he almost got fired from when his boss told him to choose Psych or Pharmaceuticals. Shawn usually pulled Gus away from his job, much to the dismay of Gus.
Shawn was thinking of turning on his Tivo when his business phone rang.
"Psych." He paused for a moment and said, "No, I'm not doing anything." Pause. "No jokes? C'mon Jules, I'm not that shallow." Pause. "OK, maybe I am. So do you have a case for me?" Pause. "Oh." Shawn looked like he was about to gag. "OK. I'll be there ASAP."
Shawn hung up and called Gus.
Meanwhile, Gus was busy with his quota when his cell phone rang. "What do want Shawn? This girl just quit and now I have to do her work."
"Dude, just for the record, if you don't want to take this case I will totally understand"
"Is it that bad?" Gus was starting to gag as well.
"I don't know, probably. Jules sounded really grossed out on the phone and I doubt it was my voice."
"Why are you calling me?"
"I was just asking because later you might be all like, 'Shawn, why didn't you include me in this case? I know I've told you a few times I didn't want to be involved but maybe this time I did.'"
Shawn went on and on for about 2 minutes doing a horrible imitation of Gus and then finally Gus said, "I'll drive you, but if I leave that building, do not drag me back inside."
"Understood."
Shawn and Gus were both staring at the body, or what was left of the body. There were body parts strewn everywhere, blood all over the Condo and internal organs lying on the mutilated corpse. Shawn and Gus had never seen anything so gross. Shawn was surprised that Gus had not left the room screaming or throwing up. However, that thought was shattered as Gus ran out the door and down the hall, on the verge of puking.
Shawn remained in silence for a few minutes. Finally he said, "Who's the victim?"
Lassiter grabbed a notebook and read, "Jerry Chad. 37, Male, Caucasian, was a cop at the SBPD. I saw him around."
Jules looked like she wanted to leave, but she knew she couldn't. A few weeks ago, she saw a woman's remains after being hacked by an axe, but this was still brutal and bloodier than that experience.
"Cause of death?" Shawn asked.
The Chief, Karen Vick, cut in. "He was chopped up by a Chainsaw. Horrible way to go."
The only time that Shawn didn't make flirtations at Jules or obscure 70's and 80's references was when he was in the presence of a dead body. And Shawn had seen a lot of them.
Shawn noticed Juliet and said, "Jules, you OK?"
"I fine, Shawn. Just a little queasy."
Shawn resumed asking questions. "Do you have a lead?"
"Yes and no," said Lassiter.
"Yes and no? What does that mean Lassidido?"
Carlton hated those nicknames, but had learned after the first year with Shawn to zone them out. "There was a note pined underneath 1 of the pieces of the victim's right leg."
Lassiter waved the note in Shawn's face and then read it.
Try to Stop me
You Boys in Blue
I'll have killed again
In a few minutes, oh boo hoo.
Signed,
The Random Killer.
"The Random Killer?"
"That's what this sick psycho is calling himself," Lassiter mused. "Spencer, we need you to figure out who the next victim is, or to identify the killer psychically."
Shawn had done some pretty amazing things covering up as a psychic, but this one seemed to tough to crack. At least, right away. But he knew he had to do something. He tried to find something in the room that might be helpful. All could see was a gym membership to the 24 Hour Fitness Center, a receipt for some coffee at Dunkin' Donuts, and some faint yellow spots on the floor and a bag of cat food in the trash can with some food still in the bag.
Shawn started meowing.
Lassiter, Vick and Jules were surprised by his sudden mewing.
"Well, the victim's cat died recently, but that doesn't help very much."
Shawn kept looking around and noticed a woman's shirt in his closet and no wedding ring on his finger and blonde hair in his hair.
"Whoa! I'm getting something." He stumbled over to Jules being careful not to step on the body parts. He sniffed her hair.
Jules started to back away uncomfortably.
"I'm seeing, blonde!" He started stroking their Juliet's hair.
"Shawn?" asked Jules.
"Sorry. I'm a slave to my visions. The spirits control my body. Sometimes if you slap me they'll be scared and go away. But if you do that now, you might lose my focus."
Shawn continued acting like an idiot, moving around and moving his body "uncontrollably" like a psychic. "Blonde." He sniffed Chad's bed. "I smell a blonde. A blonde was were recently and slept with this guy!"
Lassiter, Juliet and the Chief were stunned as usual.
But then Shawn thought of another possibility. "Or he's homosexual. But I'm leading towards the blonde."
The Chief was amazed. "All right we'll start there. Thank you Mr. Spencer."
Shawn was about to go find Gus when the Chief's cell phone rang. "Hello?" she paused for a second and said, "Where is it?" then hung up.
Everyone stopped in their tracks.
The Chief hesitated as she said, "We got another victim."
