Title: Testing Ground
Warnings: crack, mentioned smut, implied smut
Continuity: G1 (part of ultharkitty's Dysfunction AU), pre-war
Characters: Blast Off, Vortex, Skycraze (OC)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing is mine.
Summary: Blast Off has his reasons to want to get to know Skycraze, and agrees to go with her and Vortex to a bar.
Beta: ultharkitty

Note: Written for ultharkitty. :) It's the second instalment of the introduction of the new Dysfunction AU OC Skycraze. ;)


Blast Off walked next to Vortex in silence.

Dim lights hung over the darkened street, the pavement unusually empty for that time of the day.

Not unusual was Vortex, who was talking to the other 'copter, Skycraze.

The shuttle didn't know the topic, but apparently it was something a common mind found funny, because the orange and red heliformer laughed loudly. Fortunately it wasn't such an annoyingly grating laugh as Brawl had, neither did it sound fake. At least as far as Blast Off was able to tell, which didn't mean much really.

The shuttle vented the dusty air, and suppressed a sigh as he wondered why he'd agreed to go with them to the bar. But maybe it wasn't really wondering so much as premature regret.

The two heliformers got along well. Of course, they had to because they had a lot in common, and this was probably the only reason Blast Off had decided to go with them. How bad could it be to go drinking with someone who was almost like Vortex? She was even less persistent than the grey mech, since till now the femme had never tried to grope or prod Blast Off.

He wasn't sure if he should be disappointed about that.

"That's the place," Vortex announced with an audible grin, turning to a door on the left.

Blast Off was surprised by his choice of bar. For once, there was no dirt on the walls.

Did Vortex want to impress their new co-worker and show her a less ugly side of Kaon? Why hadn't the 'copter done that the first time the two of them had met outside of work?

With a sigh – the air inside was less dusty than on the streets – he sat down at the table the heliformers had chosen. He couldn't help but feel left out.

Skycraze laughed again.

Blast Off didn't know what was so hilarious. He was glad when the waitress, a flyer with a gun at her hip, showed up at their table. He ordered the strongest drink that he knew, and hoped it'd make him feel less awkward.

"So," Skycraze turned to him. He hadn't expected that. "Blast Off, right? You've got the name because of those guns of yours?"

Blast Off's optics flicked to her then Vortex, then back to the grinning femme. "I'm a shuttle." That should have been enough of an explanation. But it also sounded arrogant, and that wouldn't be a good first impression. "I've got it because of my occupation."

While Blast Off didn't often care about his impression on people, right now he didn't want to appear as bothered and aloof as he was. He didn't need Vortex to imagine something that wasn't there when it was all about taking care that the status quo didn't change.

At the present moment, Skycraze rang all the warnings that she was a threat to his and Vortex' agreement. Blast Off had no intention of letting that happen. It would be inconvenient. It would be an unwelcome change, and the shuttle didn't like it.

But the smirk she directed at him was too similar to Vortex'. He didn't know how to deal with that.

"Oh, right. Shuttle. Got it." The smirk turned into a smile, and she leant back. "You're not military then?"

"Why did you think I'm military?" Blast Off wanted to know, frowning. Vortex tilted his head.

"I just thought, I dunno." She shrugged. The drinks arrived, Vortex and Skycraze flashed the waitress a smile, and Blast Off waited for an answer. He looked at the heliformer expectantly, but she took the time to drink from her cube first. "I just thought you two knew each other from service. And you've got cannons, and a battle mask, so yeah. Didn't know for sure if you were military or not, but since, you know, you work for Onslaught." Another shrug, the rotor blades shifting like Vortex' always did.

"He worked in science for Altihex before. Was built on HEX," Vortex chipped in, causing the shuttle to frown once again. Why did he have to mention that?

"Oh, awesome." She leant forward again. The fidgeting was annoying; it was something Vortex had eventually realised irritated Blast Off. "There are some really scary stories about Altihex. Like, really spooky stuff."

"Oh, spooky stuff?"

Of course Vortex was curious now. They would end up talking only to each other again. Blast Off sipped from his cube. The high grade was strong, and bitter. It'd keep him from getting overcharged.

"Yeah. About portals that open and creatures that come through!"

"Is that true?" Vortex asked, and both 'copters stared at him, waiting for a reply.

Blast Off shifted on his chair. "I fail to see what is supposed to be spooky about portals."

"The creatures! Spooky ones!" Skycraze's description wasn't very helpful.

Confused, Blast Off glanced at Vortex, but he didn't seem to want to clarify. He was probably laughing inside and finding it hilarious leaving Blast Off hanging there.

"I'm not sure I follow you. What creatures do you mean exactly?"

Her blue visor brightened. "So there are creatures?"

Blast Off nodded with a shrug.

"Why did you never tell me?" Vortex asked in what sounded like fake hurt.

"You never asked," Blast Off commented, and drank more from the bitter energon.

"Were you scared of them?" Skycraze's interest started to become annoying.

"No, not really."

In all those vorns in space, Blast Off had learnt that portals with creatures at the other end usually weren't that dangerous. It was more treacherous if there was nothing.

Sure, there were creatures that made Blast Off uncomfortable to say the least, but those usually never opened portals, and used other ways to enter the universe.

"Frag! You're so cool!" Skycraze beamed.

Blast Off was confused. He didn't expect that turn of events.

"Can I call you Thrusters?" Skycraze asked, her rotor blades bobbed in what seemed excitement.

Blast Off raised his optical ridge. "Why would you want to do that?"

She looked at Vortex. "I've heard him call you that."

Vortex neither moved nor commented.

"No." Blast Off sipped again, before he added, "I don't like that nickname."

Skycraze leaned back, crossing her arms and tipping her head to a side. "Okay. What about Old Boy?"

"Why Old Boy?" It was Vortex who wanted to know, lively once again, and grinning.

Blast Off didn't need to know how the red heliformer got that idea. "You can call me Blast Off. It's my designation, so-"

"Old Boy," she blatantly interrupted him, obviously ignoring his demand as well. "Because he appears old, you know? I don't mean like rusty old, but ancient old. Like 'I've seen a lot and don't tell anyone about it'-old."

"Huh." Vortex glanced up at Blast Off as though assessing him and pondering what Skycraze just said. "Actually, I know what you mean. And it'd be pretty much appropriate."

"My name is not Old Boy, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me that." The shuttle knew it'd be hopeless to point it out again, but maybe at least Vortex would listen if their agreement meant anything to him.

"But," Vortex started, the grin growing, and with that tone of his that indicated he was up to something. "Old can be good. It means you have certain experiences and talents." He turned to Skycraze. "If you know what I mean."

Skycraze laughed, giving Blast Off a knowing look.

The shuttle would have loved to have been somewhere else. Taking his cube, he drank quickly. With any luck, the high grade would make the situation more bearable.

In hindsight, drinking hadn't been a good idea.

"And talking of experiences, did you ever have a threesome with another heliformer and a shuttle?"

Vortex' comment almost made Blast Off choke on his energon. He sat it down, and stared at the grey heliformer.

Skycraze perked up. She smirked, and Blast Off expected the worst. Why did Vortex always do that? Couldn't he warn him before he pulled a thing like that?

"Thank you for the offer," Skycraze said, entertained and eyeing Vortex, then Blast Off. "I do believe it was an offer, wasn't it? But I'm sorry to disappoint. I'm not into your kind."

Vortex' rotors moved minutely, Blast Off only saw it because he was sitting next to him and knew the gesture. He was hindering them from wilting in disappointment.

"Not into what kind? Shuttles? Or other heliformers?" Considering the 'copter's suppressed body language, it was a surprise that he only sounded curious.

"Eh, that's not what I meant. I don't mind shuttles or heliformers. But I'm not into mechs, you know." She glanced at the waitress serving drinks a few tables to their left, and grinned. "You know what I mean?"

"Heh, I see." Vortex leant back with a knowing grin.

Blast Off relaxed. He was both relieved that he didn't need to worry about her changing his and Vortex' status quo, and disappointed that she wouldn't substitute Vortex when Blast Off had need of it. He didn't mind too much, however. It wasn't like it was uncommon to have preferences like that. Some people were only into certain alt-modes, certain paintjobs or some other things Blast Off didn't want to think of.

"You're only playing with femmes then." Vortex sighed. Blast Off's musings were interrupted when the 'copter addressed him. "Looks like we're only two tonight." The 'copter's field flared, and Blast Off's engine revved in anger, not arousal.

"Why do you even think I want to interface with you tonight? And why the frag do you never tell me about your stupid ideas? It would have been nice to know about your intentions before I went here with you," Blast Off growled, and shook his head in annoyance.

Before Vortex could reply to the shuttle's rant, Skycraze's chuckle intervened. "You two are adorable together."

She had to have seen the doubtful stares, because she shuffled her rotors and shifted slightly when she added an explanation. "But that doesn't mean much. I mean I also kill people for money and like the texture of rusted metal on my glossa. My view on things is probably a bit twisted."

Vortex sat up. "You like rust on your glossa?" he asked, and seemed to have forgotten what she had called them.

Blast Off resignedly emptied his cube.

He let them talk about putting disgusting things in their mouth, and ordered another drink.

A few times they addressed him, calling him Old Boy and ignoring his complaints about it. He didn't really care if he was honest. He'd lost interest in the conversation and in Skycraze, now that she wasn't a threat any more or a potential Vortex replacement.

She became even less interesting when she revealed she was exclusive with another femme.

It was an odd concept for Blast Off, but he didn't judge, and merely labelled it as useless information.

After two more cubes, Skycraze left to meet her partner, leaving Blast Off and Vortex alone.

"Thrusters?"

Blast Off lazily looked up at the nickname. "Hm?" He didn't mind so much when Vortex used it.

The 'copter grinned. "Heh." Vortex seemed to know. "Any plans for tonight?"

Blast Off shrugged. "I'm going to my apartment; it isn't far." He drank the last sip, and put his cube down. Venting deeply, he stood up, looking down at Vortex. "I'm off work tomorrow, so you better not wake me up in the morning when you leave."

With a grin, and quivering rotors, Vortex jumped up. "As if anything could ever wake you up."