Hey guys. This is a story that I had to write for English class. We had to use a story starter and I made it into something that will work with bella and edwards story..takes place during new moon when edward has left. This is not an edward and bella story, but bella and jake story. Edward will be in this fanfiction though. I am still questioning whether I want to make this a long story or just leave it as an angsty one piece. REVIEW PLEASE! hope its not too bad. Thanks!

I couldn't fall asleep last night know that i put up such a bad chapter. I revised it and i hope it is better!


Angst and Apprehension.

The letter came as a surprise. It seemed like a dream, but I couldn't do his to myself again. He was gone, never to come back again. I had to be dreaming. I knew the pain was coming. The tears I was fighting back won. Tears began to stream down my face as I read my name written in his neatly scrawled handwriting…Bella.

He said he didn't love me anymore. That I meant nothing to him, but then why was he writing to me? Why couldn't he just leave me alone even though I wanted him there with me at every moment of my life? He promised that it would be like he never existed. I had to know that he existed. If he didn't exist then it was like nothing in the world had any meaning.

Some days I would walk to his house, or what used to be his house, just to see an old, abandoned place. The comfort that this house held overpowered everything else in my world. I spent countess hours at this place just staring in amazement. This house was beautiful. The still-standing proof that he existed, that he exists.

The last few months my friends knew not to even try to talk to me. Angela and Jessica just ignored me, left me to myself. If you could really call Jessica a friend. I knew it was my fault. I wasn't much of a friend anymore, I knew that, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. I wasn't a person anymore. I did everything I was told. Always followed the rules but did little of anything else. That made me inhuman. My parents forced me to hangout with my friends, only to end-up ditching them to daydream of his face, his beautiful glowing turquoise eyes. His beautiful eyes that held passion and love for… me. Now Arthur was gone, but still visible in the letter that I held in my shaking hands. His name pierced my body like a thousand daggers. It burned my tongue as though I drank a bottle of acid.

I knew it was better for me to shred it. To burn that letter. Destroy that letter. Not even read his neatly scrawled writing. Not care about what he said, even if he cared. It was better that way. I had to feel no love for him. The way he didn't love me. I couldn't do it. I loved him. I loved him too much. Loved him more than anything in my world. I couldn't live without him, without his memory. He was the other half of me that I had lost. Leaving me an empty dark pit of nothingness.

Slowly I began too tear the envelope, careful to leave my name intact. The letter was messy, not like he usually wrote. Not that he ever wrote to me, but the way I remember his English Literature homework. The letter said:

Bella,

I truly did love

I really wanted this to work, but I just couldn't

I wish I could start this over, I'm not worth it you gave me so much

I know everything you are thinking. Everything you are going through. I'm sorry. This doesn't change things.

Forever Yours,

Sincerely,

Edward

I couldn't believe the emotion that filled me. I could explode. What surprised me the most was how much each unfinished line cut me inside. How much each unfinished line pierced me in the pit of my stomach with immense force. I couldn't handle it. I crumpled up the paper and threw it at the door, only to run after it and iron it through my hands, hugging the crumpled paper. The proof that he still exists. That he still thought about me. I pained me to say it, but I mumbled out loud…

"Edward," I winced at the sweet sound of his name rolling off my tongue.

"Edward, he wrote to me. He thinks about me."

I couldn't do this to myself. I knew I would have a sleepless night pushing my face up against my pillow. Letting my tears soak in. My face sticky with frustrated tears. I couldn't stand him. He gave me the most pain I had ever felt, yet the most love that had ever flowed through my veins. I hate him so much and I love him just as equally. The love of my life.

"Edward".

The pain was too much to handle. His name burned my throat, but I welcomed the pain with open arms.

"I love you Edward, I love you."

Carlie POV

"Darn!"

I was late for dinner again! Bella was going to kill me and serve me for dinner! I quickly ran into the house through the pourning rain. I expected to see her in the kitchen roaming around and fumbling with knives with that dead look in her eyes and I took a large intake of breath to ready myself to see her pain.

What surprised me was that she wasn't in the kitchen, or anywhere to be found. I half ran, half stumbled up the stairs and into Bella's room.

"Bells I am so sorry I am la-" I stopped apologizing as soon as I saw her face.

It wasn't a dead look anymore. She look like she was in more pain than I ever though imaginable.

That was the last straw. I couldn't let her feel this way anymore. I had let this go on for far too long. I knew exactly what I was going to do before the words even came out of my mouth.

"Bells get changed. I'm calling Billy and we are going to spend some quality time with our La Push friends."

And with that we were on our way.

***

Little did he know, that decision would change his life forever.


Please don't be too harsh. Thanks for just reading even if you don't like it, at least you gave it a shot. Please review!