A/N: I have had this in my story folder for about a year but I kept forgetting about it. Apparently the idea came from talking about French maid outfits.
Ianto walked into the hub carrying a live chicken and everyone stared at him.
"Ianto, why are you bringing a chicken into the hub? Are we having a special dinner?" Owen asked. Ianto looked at him for a second before responding.
"It's Jack."
"Jack wanted a chicken for dinner?" Owen asked "Do you take dinner requests or is it just for Jack?"
"No, Jack is the chicken" Ianto told him
"You named the chicken Jack?" Owen asked laughing
"No. Jack is the chicken. The chicken is Jack." Ianto said, getting a little annoyed now.
"....so we're eating Jack then. Did you two have a fight or something?"
"That is wrong in so many ways Owen!" Tosh complained
"...Goodbye Owen." was all Ianto said as he walked up to Jack's office.
The girls stared at Owen.
"Do you still not get it Owen?" Gwen asked.
"Get Wha...Oh God! Jack's been turned into a chicken!"
*****
"If you EVER do something that stupid again you will be on decaf for the rest of my life!" Ianto was scolding the chicken when Tosh opened the door to Jack's office.
"You realize he is a chicken right Ianto?" she said carefully
"Oh he understands me, I saw the look of horror on his little chicken face when I told him he wasn't getting sex for a week." Ianto told her, still glaring at the chicken. "Although since it is a hen and not a rooster maybe I should say her face."
"Is there anything I can help you with or get you?" Tosh asked
"No I'm fine. Thanks though." Ianto replied.
"Are you sure that that chicken is Jack though, from what you said there were quite a few there."
"Oh it's definitely Jack." Ianto told her. "He's tried to stick his wing down my trousers three times already."
