"Red! You're ruining our image! How are we supposed to be seen as the ULTIMATE MASTERS OF EVIL we so obviously are if you go around smiling all the time?!"
"But I like smiling," the gentle giant rumbled.
"Then do it more evillier," Voltar reasoned.
"Actually, that would be 'more evilly,'" Doktor Frogg piped up.
"Did I ASK you? Now, Red, watch. You've got to make it devious." Voltar's face twisted, one eyebrow lowering as the other arched up sharply, the tips of his mask curling upward in a smug grin.
"Oh, very nice!" Red complimented brightly, then tried to imitate the tiny leader's expression. This resulted in something resembling a lemon-sucking grimace.
"...Better," Voltar conceded uncertainly.
"But not really evil," Frogg scoffed.
"Like you can do better?"
"Devious isn't that evil... Maniacal is the way to go!" The mad scientist let his already stooped shoulders dip into a deeper stoop as his face split into a manic grin. His magnified eyes wheeled crazily, metal claws grasping at the invisible wraiths of evil as he cackled.
Red Menace applauded politely. "Very creepy."
"No fair!" Voltar protested. "This is an evil smile contest, not an evil laugh contest! I clearly have the best evil laugh here!"
Meanwhile, Red sought to bend his naturally textbook-perfect posture into a stoop, wearing what must have been intended to be a maniacal rictus but came across as a sunny, squeaky-clean grin.
The other two villains shared a pointed glance and sighed.
"I think I know the problem here," Doktor Frogg said sagely. "Red, you need to find your own method of evil expression."
"Yeah, it's no good if you use ours. I'm the only one who can pull off The Great Voltar's Gaze of Death, after all!" He attempted to display the glory that was his deathgaze--which involved the same eyebrow thing paired with a swift head turn--by training his power upon Doomaggedon, who ignored him and finished eating the arm of the couch.
"My own evil expression? Like--" Here he flung out an arm to stop an imaginary assailant. "Heroes beware!" he called in a stage voice, topping the warning off with a disarming grin.
"Er... It's a start," Frogg said encouragingly.
Voltar merely poured more venom into his unheeded glare.
A/N: I was hoping for something special for my fourty-second posted fic (Hitchhiker's nerd? Why, yes, yes indeed...), and what could be more special than a BRAND NEW fandom for a BRAND NEW show in a BRAND NEW section? This was kind of just an exercise to play with everyone's voices, but I had great fun with it. Please review if you read, if only with a "Hey, I read this, yo!" Being a new fandom and all, I'm curious to see if there's potential for growth or if I'm just whistling in the dark.
