I'm such a huge fan of Peyton and Lucas in 'One Tree Hill' and in this point I'm watching season 5. So I wrote this one shot.
Title: It's Always You
Summary: Right after episode 7 "IN DA CLUB" Peyton has just seen Lindsay and Lucas. And heard their engaged. She's back at her place. Lucas stops by.
Note: At the end of the episode, Peyton has gone by to see Lucas, hoping he has broke up with Lindsay because before, they had kissed. But Lucas has proposed to Lindsay instead, so Peyton's a bit gutted. This is right after the episode so it's a complete AU. Well not really because they do get back together but yeaaah…
Her heart hadn't stopped thumping inside her chest. Her eyes hadn't stopped running with tears. Her hands hadn't stopped trembling as she replayed what happened moments before, over and over. Peyton hadn't thought for a second that this was what was going to come of them. Her mind couldn't help but pour stupid 'to late' comments into her brain. Why couldn't she had just said yes when he asked her. Why had she been so stupid to let him go? It was always him. It was always going to be him. But now it was too late for them. He didn't love her. She screamed with frustration as her heart broke into pieces inside her. The tears still pouring furiously from her eyes. She rubbed her hands to her face, harder and harder, trying to rid herself from the tears, the pain. But nothing. She couldn't stop it. She was being pulled tighter and faster into a big hole of pain. The world around her began to be swallowed by her impotent heart. She was useless. Powerless. She was wrong to have come back to Tree Hill. She told herself time and time, she wasn't returning for him. But how could she have been so stupid. Of course she had. Her eyes closed tightly as her memories began to play in her mind.
"Let me ask you something. Do you have like an alarm that goes off in your head every time I'm happy with someone else? What do you want from me?! I fly to L.A., I ask you to marry me, you said no, so I moved on. Why haven't you?"
She looked at him. Alarmed at his abusive tone. And she told him straight.
"No, Luke, I miss you everyday and I have told everyone here that I didn't come back for you, but I did. Of course I did. I still love you Lucas."
He tried to stop her, but she didn't care, she had to see. They kissed. It felt so good. He pushed her away and looked at her, his confusion fell away, he pulled her in again and she was where she belonged. Once they broke away, she knew. Knew he still loved her.
"You still love me don't you?"
"I have to go see Lindsey."
Those words ripped into her heart. She began to tremble, as she felt him slip away.
Had that kiss meant nothing to him? He was all she had ever wanted, why wasn't that enough? She curled her legs into her body as her head fell into her hands. She hadn't remembered when she had sunk into the corner of her room. All she could feel now was pain, and the empty hole in her broken heart. Her breathing began to increase as the sobs grew louder, surrounding her, pulling her further into the deepened depression. All of a sudden, her head rose up and her eyes locked to the window outside. No longer were tears falling down her face, she was numb. Her eyes couldn't move as they stared out of the window. Her breath caught in her throat. Eyes she knew so well, so many times she had stared into them, and have them clearly state how the other felt… Lucas's eyes. They were staring at her through the closed window. Peyton shook her head slightly to the side, trying to shake of the delusion. She looked around her apartment. It was cold. Empty. And she was alone. Her eyes fixed onto the window again. Her eyes widened in shock this time. Those eyes were staring back at her. Lucas's eyes were shining through the moonlight into her apartment. She was staring into his eyes once more. It took her a moment to realise he was standing outside. She couldn't move, she didn't want to let him in. Not again. She couldn't bare to hear him speak to her. Not about Lindsay. Not about how he didn't want to be with her.
The soft tap of his knuckles on the glass window pane brought her back into reality. His calm soft voice echoed through the window and hit her ears like an iceberg.
"Peyton. We need to talk. Open the front door." His voice was demanding. How could he demand something like this from her? After the event she had witnessed, after the kiss they had shared. He sounded angry, annoyed. His voice wasn't as sweet as it once was, she hated it.
"Peyton. Get up and open the door!" He couldn't fully hurt her with his words if he was on the other side. Peyton turned her eyes away from the window and covered her ears, a new set of salty tears trickled down her face.
"Peyton…please." This time his voice was pleading. It sounded broken, hurt. She outstretched her legs from the curled up ball she had been in. Was she thinking of opening the door? Her mind and heart screamed different things. She didn't know what to do. He was engaged to Lindsay…But he was here, outside, trying to talk to her.
"Peyton…" She couldn't take it. She had to get up. She slowly rose to the floor, a new tear falling as she shuffled towards the front door. She heard Lucas shuffle around outside to reach the front porch. His face leant against the door. "Please.." He said again. This time more desperate.
Her hand trembled as she touched the door handle. If she opened the door, what was she going to say? Was she going to stand there and let him talk? Would she slap him in the face? No, as she opened the door to reveal Luke's dark saddened expression, she wanted to fall into him, wanted to kiss him and hold him tight, tell him everything was going to be ok, because she had him and he had her. She couldn't thought. With all her strength, she looked at him. Straight into the eye, and smiled.
"Are you happy Luke?" Her words came straight out of her mouth, before she had, had time to think.
Lucas looked at her softly, tears shining in his eyes. His lips twitched and he choked back a sob. "Peyton.. I am so…" She cut him off before he finished.
"You know what Lucas? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter I came back for you, because you've moved on. And why haven't I? Because I thought in your mind you knew we'd never really be over. I guess I was wrong. I should have known you'd go out and find someone else. I should have known you'd break my heart again" She let out a soft cry.
"Talk about breaking hearts? You said no to a marriage proposal to me, Peyton. I flew to LA and I got down on one knee and I asked you to spend the rest of your life with me, you said no. My heart broke into a thousand pieces that day. I didn't want to leave it the way we did. But I had to go. Otherwise I would have been hanging onto you"
Peyton wrapped her arms around herself, biting her lip as she took in his words.
"I've been hanging on to you the moment you left me in the hotel room Luke. It was a lovely way to say goodbye."
Lucas held out his hand and gently touched her arm, she moved backwards, looking harshly at him. "Don't touch me Luke." She cried sharply.
"I'm sorry." His eyes looked to the floor.
Her hand rose to his face and she slapped him, hard. Her teeth clenched together. "Don't you dare come here and apologise. Don't you dare! I told you earlier I was still in love with you, and I kissed you, I put every ounce of my love for you into the kiss and you kissed me back. Now, what the hell was that Lucas? Because if it was goodbye then please, tell me now because I have had enough of fighting these feelings and trying to shut you out of my life, I can't do it anymore. Lucas my heart hurts. I'm trying so hard to fight this, but I can't. I just can't!" She cried. Her head falling to one side, Lucas's arms swept around hers in a instant, his soft hands began to tenderly caress her cheek, brushing the tears away. His head moved in closely and his lips touched hers softly. He brushed her hair away from her wet face and pushed into her. His tongue colliding with hers in a passionate embrace. His fingers entwined together with hers as their kiss grew more intense. His lips moved from hers, along her neck and reached her ear, he kissed softly and whispered "It's always you." He couldn't deny it anymore. He forgot about his fiancée sitting at home, waiting for his return. He forgot about the way in which things were before this, right now, he felt he belonged. He was where he was supposed to be. With her. Always.
Mwahaha. I Hate Lindsay grrr. I'm sorry if the ended seemed rushed. I don't know how to really end things without wanting to carry on but. Enjoy : )
