My name is Mary Anne Spier, however from two days after my high school graduation until almost three months ago, my name was Mary Anne Wilson. Out of fear, I moved to Toronto, Canada without saying good bye to any of my closest friends or my family. I met Nigel, a psychologist with a Ph.D in Social Work from England. He was on vacation, and after knowing him for a day and a half, we'd ended up married and living together in his hotel room. He soon got a work Visa and started a practice in Toronto, and we moved into a sophisticated condominium in the heart of downtown Toronto.

I kept my entire life a secret from my husband, though we were married for nearly five years. He didn't know until after our second anniversary that I was an American! I never loved him, and I was never able to find trust in him either. I lived as his wife - spoiled like a princess - but neither of us cared for the other at heart. He cheated on me mercilessly, spending entire weekends away. He'd always return with expensive gifts when he slept with another woman. Our split was a mutual decision; we weren't right for each other and we both were sick of the charade.

Nigel moved back to England soon after we split, something I was not upset about in the least. The farther away from the lie I'd been living, the better. If only I could remember who the true Mary Anne was... I decided she was lost forever - I may be able to retrieve pieces of her, but her essence was gone forever. In another attempt to discover my new identity, I'd started introducing myself as Ryanne, pronounced "Ree-Anne", and gotten a job as the assistant to Damon Tyler, the owner of Magik, one of the most popular nightclubs in Toronto. I was being paid $17.50 an hour essentially to follow Damon around in a tight mini-dress, making phone calls or fetching he and his "associates" drinks every now and then.

I'd considered calling my friends several times, but I was afraid they would reject me. After all, I had left minutes after graduation without a second thought. I'd still kept in contact with my father, though I never gave him my address or a number to contact me. I sent letters and cards without a return address, and called him most often from work, so the number wasn't displayed. I wondered about my friends and how they were doing. Did Claudia become the artist she'd always dreamed of? Was Stacey living in New York City, married with a fantastic career? And Kristy, what was Kristy doing? I knew through my father that Dawn had become a stay-at-home mom, and her husband was an advocate for autistic rights.

More than anyone, I'd always tried to imagine what Logan had become. He came to see me graduate, but like Claudia, he'd been held back so he would graduate a year later. He had scouts from colleges all over the country watching him play football, and I encouraged him to continue with it. I hope he did, he was so talented, even as a 17 year old. I never knew much about football, but I could tell that he was in a league above everyone else in Stoneybrook.

So, who is Mary Anne Spier? She's a fun-loving, albeit quiet and modest, woman with a heart of gold. She has practical values and is beginning to enjoy "the unknown". Charismatic and adorable, she's always willing to listen and allows for critique (which she tries not to take to heart). Maybe she is becoming Ryanne, after all?