Hi everyone ^^
I love this song. I love this song so much. Because I understand it. I understand it so fucking much that it hurts. I think I cried the first time I read the lyrics along with the song. I really can't remember. This story comes no where close to the ideas I found in the song. I can barely explain it to my friends, let alone recreate it into a story of its own. Especially for someone who has never felt this way, I believe it's a hard concept to understand. But this is something precious to me and so I refused to let it die without trying. So here it is, my instructions on how to dominate the world.
- Sunset
P.S. I ship Gumi and Rin SO HARD. But if that doesn't float your boat, I made it easy to imagine someone else. But they're so cute together, I can't.
Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form along with Sir Hamnet's english translation of World Domination How-To
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I remember, when I was little, my mom telling me to "grow up and be a kind person." Picking me up, she'd hug me tight and kiss my forehead. Running her fingers through my hair, everything seemed all right, even as she cried into my shoulder.
In my school, there is a girl named Rin Kagamine. She is the trash of the school. Lower than a pig, lower than dirt, Rin Kagamine is absolutely worthless and is to treated as such. This is not to be misunderstood. It's not that we aren't "kind" people, because we are. It that we are also "superior" people. And that makes all of the difference.
Rin Kagamine was not always trash. Once upon a time, she was just a quiet petite girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. A really long time ago, she was ordinary. A girl with a twin.
But that's not the case anymore, is it?
No one knows how or why Rin Kagamine became the trash of the school. But then again, no one really cares. She is what she is and that is that.
However, if there's someone who hates Rin Kagamine more than anything else, it's Miku. It's weird, because Miku used to date Rin's twin brother Len. But I guess that's the operant phrase here: "used to."
Railways are strange places. I used to hate them. But that was a long time ago. Now…I like them…more or less…I think. To be honest, I'm still not sure. The view is pretty though, especially during sunsets. Watching the sun burn the sky in shades of red and orange, I like it best when it flows over me too, melting away everything that makes me "superior." When did I even become that?
Standing there with no one else in sight, it's easy to fool myself into thinking that I am still a "kind" person. But that's a lie even I'm aware of; because when the train rolls in and I see my reflection in the window, the only thing I see is a pathetic coward.
I remember when my mom and I used to dance together. It was one of the only times she loosened her long hair from the ponytail she kept it in. Hair flying freely, laughter bubbling from her lips, she was beautiful. Spinning along with her to the music, there was nothing we couldn't be. Even with the bruises hidden under her sleeves, there was nothing that could hurt us.
Rin Kagamine always seems to be covered in bruises. She's such a clumsy girl, you know, "falling" all the time. You'd think she would have learned to walk by now. At least she carries a backpack now. Her books were annoying to step over.
Sprawled on the hallway floor, no one bothers to help Rin Kagamine up. Who would? Who would want to touch something so disgusting? No one…that's who….
Unfazed, she silently picks herself up from the floor. Adjusting her shirt, she stands in front of the windows as if nothing happened, as if being tripped was a normal occurrence, as if it didn't happen hour….after hour…..day….after day….after day….. The sun reflects off of her hair, and it shines golden, so…
You know….sometimes….I can't help but think she'd be prettier if she didn't have all those bruises all over her skin. But that'd be ridiculous….wouldn't it?
Everyone knows that Family Living is a joke, an easy A. As if I need a class to teach me how a family should act. I already know what not to do, so who's to blame me if I don't show up?
The sky's prettier without a window in the way.
Everyone dreams of the future. Future jobs, future lives, future adventures, future fucks. Silly things. Important things. Ridiculous things. The day when cars can fly. The day when robots can talk as naturally as you and I.
I dream of something that is somehow contradictorily simple and complex. I wonder if it'll ever come true.
Lying on the roof like this, the world seems so much prettier. Looking at the sky, it's like that thing called "hope" actually exists.
Sometimes though, I wonder….What if a missile came and flew across this kind of sky above? If such a thing happened, would it considered wrong to wish on it for happiness? This pain in my chest, would it be wrong to wish it away under such a circumstance?
Probably.
So I can't. And I won't. Because more than anything else, I want to hold onto whatever little "kindness" I have left…..(if there's any left at all.)
Sometimes, around 6 pm, there is someone who sings in the music room. Sitting under the window, I listen to that gentle lilting voice for hours on end. Many times, the songs are about suicide.
I've never once said hello.
I know a secret that most people do not. Rin Kagamine likes to sleep on the roof. Curled up in a back corner that's somehow hidden from view, she looks tiny and small. No wonder she's so easy to devour.
Sometimes, my mom would take me on very long trips with her. Packing up our bags, we'd go somewhere far, far away. Sometimes, we'd go into different states. Once, we even went to Canada. But no matter how far we traveled, we always ended up back home.
Being "superior" means playing smart. It means covering up your tracks until they are nonexistent.
You can make a pig squeal all you want and no one will pay attention to it. Blood is a whole 'nother story.
Bent over in pain, Rin Kagamine holds a hand to her cheek. Blood spills over her fingers and down her neck. The girl next to her smirks with pride.
A teacher in the distance hurries over. Footsteps echoing against the walls, all smiles disappear. They never existed. Questioning everyone nearby, he pretends to do his job. Eating up the excuses easily poured out, he pretends to care.
But let's be honest: no one cares. Not really. As long as the play ends as it should, the stuff that happens in the middle is irrelevant. Rin Kagamine is sent to the nurse. And everything ends happily ever after.
I remember the exact day I promised my mom that I'd grow up to be a kind person. Waiting for the train, she seemed to almost fade into the sky. Ruffling my hair with her hand, the train whistle blew in the distance. Grabbing her hand in sudden desperation, I remember being scared of letting go.
There is this feeling in my chest that I can't explain. Expanding painfully against my ribcage, tightening dangerously around my throat, it's hard to breathe. Could someone please explain this pain to me? Does it even have a name?
I am on the rooftop….why? Why am I up here? When did I get up here? ….I can't remember. Was there even a reason?
It's cold out today. Every breath chills my lungs and I can already feel my skin start to tingle. Why am I here?
From up here, the sky looks infinite, endless. "There are a thousand possibilities."
Whoever said that was a liar. There's only one ending.
Rin Kagamine sleeps soundly in her little corner. Curled up against herself, she's such a pitiful being. There is dry blood crusting on her face. She never did go to the nurse, did she? Against the sun, her hair glows golden, like spun gold.
Sitting down next to her, her even breaths mark the otherwise silent air. Why am I doing this? Why won't I leave? I can't make sense of these feelings in my chest. Why won't they just go away already?
Lifting my hand, it hovers in midair. What was I planning on doing? I should back away. This is getting out of control. But I can't. I just can't.
Her hair is soft. Running my fingers through it, lightly, gently, delicately, I can't let go. I…don't want to let go….
Shifting towards me, her body curls against my leg. For the warmth, surely. Leaning her forehead against my knee, my lips brush over the exposed skin because it is simply that natural. Except natural is the last thing this should be.
She smells like rain.
Someone please help. I'm being creepy.
Kissing the cut running across her cheek, I want to make it better and I don't know why. I want to make all of pain go away. This is wrong. This is all so wrong. She is trash. Her existence is supposed to be worthless. But what about all the blood rushing through my head, this heat in my lips? Why am I crying? Why is nothing making sense?
I don't understand until my lips almost brush over hers. I don't understand until her eyes open and meet mine.
I am a liar. I understood way before this.
They are blue. So blue. Blue like the ocean. Bright and deep, I'm drowning. I always have been.
I understood a long time ago what it meant to want to run away to someplace far, far away. Sitting on the rooftop with Rin only a couple feet away, I understood what it meant to be missing pieces of your heart.
But as her lips shakily meet mine, I can finally understand what it means it come back, despite all the pain it brings.
Rin Kagamine is the trash of the school. Everybody knows this. I know this. Lower than a pig, lower than dirt, Rin Kagamine doesn't deserve to live.
But with my hands tangled in her hair, with my lips melting onto hers, with her arms wrapped around my shoulders, the truth burns stronger than usual.
Rin Kagamine is beautiful. Rin Kagamine is beautiful trash. But Rin is not the trash. I am the trash. Because there is no one kinder than Rin.
A long time ago, my mom flew into the air. In the distance, a whistle blew. Kissing my forehead, she let go of my hand. Breaking into a run, the sun, burning red, devoured her whole. I should have never let her go.
A long time ago, my mom died. From stress they said. As if the answer wasn't sitting right in front of them. No one likes to see the things that are ugly.
"How sad." "How pitiful." "She was so young." "She had so much left to live."
What lies.
A long time ago, Rin crossed the street without looking. She wasn't the one that died. No one ever forgave her.
Once upon a time, there were two girls and an empty classroom. How it started and how it ended is irrelevant. The middle is forgotten. But for once, it was the most important part.
A long time ago, there may have been a not-so-empty classroom, a girl with golden hair and a bleeding sun. There may have been another girl too. She may have been crying.
There is only one other person that's hugged me, really hugged me, besides my mom. I've allowed myself to forget who she was. But I still remember how warm it was. She was so small. But her presence was so large.
Holding me tight, I cried into her shoulder. Sobbing uncontrollably, every regret flowed out. I should have never let her go. But I did. And now no one could save her.
There are truths you can't run away from. There is guilt that never disappears. But locked in her embrace with her singing voice in my ear, the world didn't seem so bad for once.
"I'll change." "I'll become a better person." "I still have hope." "There is still a chance."
Words are useless like that.
Sometimes, I would wonder what would happen if a missile flew across the sky. Would I finally be happy? If this entire world died with me in it, would the irregular beating in my heart finally end?
Standing on the railway, nothing ever changes, does it? Nothing gets better. Nothing becomes worse. Everything just is. I will never be kind.
Maybe…everything would be better if tomorrow's me didn't exist. Because that way, today's me wouldn't have to die.
In the distance, the nagging whistle of the train screams. There is no such thing as infinity. It could be so easy.
But in my chest, my heart, shattered as it is, begs for something more. And for once, I can't help but listen.
When I was younger, my mom would warn me that love was bad luck. She'd warn me that love would give me pain. And it does. It's true.
But I don't want to give up. Not yet. I don't want to always regret what I couldn't be.
Is that too much to ask for?
Rin Kagamine is the trash of the school. Lower than a pig, lower than dirt, Rin Kagamine is absolutely worthless and is to treated as such.
But that is the biggest lie that ever was. She is worth so much more than that.
Wiping the trash off of her desk, Rin's eyes meet mine before flickering away. Scrubbing away the the grime that covers her life, her back hunches smaller. It could be so easy.
"There is nothing wrong with being a coward." "Everyone lies."
But I want to remember this. I want this love inside my heart to be more than a memory. What I want….
Lips pressed against hers, Rin trembles underneath my fingertips. Staring up at me with wide blue eyes, I can't help but fall in. Over and over, until God knows when.
"I love you. I love you so….so much."
Grabbing her hand, it fits as perfectly as I always wished it would. I'm not letting go.
Running out of the classroom, people scream as papers fly. And there is noise. Noise everywhere. Let them think what they want.
Laughing uncontrollably, struggling to keep up, she yells, "Where are we going? What are you planning?"
Looking back at her, I know I won't regret this. This beating in my chest - I can't contain it. And with it…I know...It can still happen. I can still find the kindness that exists somewhere still in my heart. I can still save my heart before it turns to stone. But I can't do it alone.
Running out the doors, the sky looks brighter than before.
"World Domination."
