Inspired by the 'Guidelines to Living With Robots' by Tatyana Whitwicky, I have decided to make my own.
All credit goes to Tatyana, who is amazing in every way!
Thanks for letting me use the idea, and steal some of you're rules, Tatyana! :3
(Ya'll might want to check out my OCs on my profile page, otherwise you might get confuzzled.)
Forward ho!
The guidelines for living on Azeroth!
By Yavimna Oakenshadow, co written and edited by Satahra Nightstalker.
-------------------
Rule 1: Never suddenly say 'Rectal Exorcism' in the middle of a meeting.
(Jasper and I couldn't stop laughing.)
(Darion had to escort us out.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 2: When I'm meeting someone new, never toss an arm around my shoulders and say to the person, 'don't worry, you aren't the only one who noticed that Yav's vertically impaired.'
(Jasper.)
(Satahra.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 3: Never exclaim, "What a hot ass!" Whenever Jasper bends over.
(Darion is much more protective then I expected.)
(Ow.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 4: Never yell out, "Shit! Shit! It's the Lich King! Get in the van!" Whenever the Lich King pops in via magic.
(I've never seen Corg laugh so hard.)
(The Lich King…. Not so much.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 5: Don't try to speak in Thalassian or Orcish unless you're sure of what you're saying.
(I told Thrall that there was a cat in my pants.)
(Garrosh choked on his ale.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 6: Never seen 'Garrosh's Happy Song' whenever he's around.
(Garrosh gets very violent.)
(I couldn't save Korst because I was laughing so hard.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 7: Never ask Darion if he wants meatballs.
(I still don't know why, but he gets royally pissed whenever someone asks this.)
(Jasper ignored me when I asked if he knew why.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 8: Never, EVER hit Jasper upside the head with something like a hammer and say, "What have I done, I've killed a wabbit."
(Darion thought it was hilarious.)
(Jasper beat me with his staff.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 9: If you're in trouble, never run away. Somehow, someone will find you.
(I actually ran from Icecrown to Felwood, and Corg still found me.)
(Damn death knight.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 10: Never come up to Koltira and ask if all Blood Elves are gay, or if he's just a special one.
(I really hate death knights.)
(Thassarian just laughed as I ran away.)
(Damn human.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 11: Never spread a rumor that Varian is gay for Thrall, which is why neither are married or remarried.
(Somehow, they figured out it was me.)
(I was stunned when Valduun told me that my rumor made sense.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 12: Never borrow a death knight's ghoul, have it gnaw on you're head, and then casually walk around.
(Everyone stared at Satahra.)
(She was giggling, and saying that it tickled.)
(Jasper still says that's she's insane.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 13: Never walk up to a death knight or a forsaken, slap them, and accuse them of being a spy for the Lich King.
(Claere sent her felguard after me.)
(Thassarian tried to throw me off of the Skybreaker.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 14: Never suggest to someone that they should sleep with the Lich King to get info for us.
(Never suggest this to Jasper.)
(Darion tried to kill Korst.)
(Took everyone in the room to stop him.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 15: Never pet someone's hippogryph, then suddenly say, "I'm hungry. Anyone for chicken?"
(Thassarian fell over from laughing.)
(Valduun still won't let me near his hippogryph)
-----------
-----------
Rule 16: Whenever someone says, "Tell me something I don't know…" never respond with the following:
* Without mucus, our stomachs would digest themselves." (Satahra.)
*"Licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets." (Jasper.)
*"You know the whole thing between Velen and Kel'jaeden? Worst break up ever." (Me.)
*"Garrosh is an ass only because he never gets some." (Korst.)
*"Humans are my main source of fiber and protein." (Claera.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 17: Never take control of you're pet if it's an animal, and talk through it's mouth.
(Tirion nearly had a heart attack.)
(Satahra fell down the stairs.)
(My dearest Troublemaker was not a happy raptor afterwards.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 18: Whenever you get in trouble, never say "Well, the Lich King would let me do it!"
(Tirion was so pissed.)
(But it is true.)
(Thassarian said so.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 19: Whenever something bad happens, never say any of the following:
*"Quick! Find a virgin to sacrifice!" (Satahra.)
*"Where's the undead on?" (Me.)
*"Hurry! Evacuate the women and gays last!" (Korst.)
-----------
-----------
Rule 20: Never say that it's 'Talk like the Lich King day."
(You're throat will hurt after a while.)
(Jasper is really good at it.)
-----------
-----------
Should I continue this?
*Thinks*
If ya'll want, send in an idea for a rule or two! :D
I'd be honored! 3
