It had been one year today. One year exactly. One year since the day of that fateful accident which took my love from me. He wasn't just my love, he was my best friend. I had finally gotten up the guts to go visit his grave. I hadn't been there since the funeral. I was shaking as I sat down in front of the tombstone. "Hey Nicky. It's me. I'm sorry I haven't visited you." Initially I thought talking to him would be hard, but it was turning out to be easy. It felt good to talk to him again.
"I've missed you over the past year. It's been rough being here without you. We're all moving on though. Your mom has been cooking nonstop as her way of coping. It's insane. I eat dinner over there a few times a week, I swear I've gained like ten pounds. Not that I'm complaining. Your mom's cooking is amazing. Your dad has been throwing himself into work, working hard on managing his clients. Kev's been relying on Dani a lot, but he's been doing pretty good. Surprisingly Joe's been like a rock. He holds us all together with his sly humor and jokes. Frankie's having trouble admitting that you're gone. She doesn't say anything, but your mom worries about him a lot, I can tell. We're all dealing with it though. Just hanging in there. I'm sorry, I gotta go now. I have a date with a boy tonight. He seems pretty great. But he's no you."
***
"Hey Nick. It's been a while, sorry. I've been keeping busy. Me and Logan are going steady now. We're getting pretty serious. It's nice to have a boyfriend again. Honestly I don't love him as much as I love you though. Can you believe it? I graduate high school in a week. I'm excited. I haven't told anyone yet, but I got in to a creative writing program at a community college. It doesn't sound like much, but in the next few years, I'd like to transition more from singer to just songwriter. And this fits in with my schedule more. I wish you could be there to see me graduate. It won't be the same without you there. We would have had a hell of a party, I'll tell you that. There have been times where I wanna give up, but I know you're watching me, and helping me. Thanks for that. I still love you. Forever and always."
***
"Hey Nicky! Guess what?! I turn nineteen today! Can you believe it? Logan's at work, so I thought I'd have my birthday lunch here with you. I packed a little picnic. It's not much, but I got a sandwich, and some pudding. Oh and some diet coke in honor of you. I also brought myself a little cupcake. I think this is a perfect way to spend my birthday, don't you? It's so nice outside today for being November. It feels more like spring than fall. I missed you a lot this morning. 'Member when I turned sixteen and you showed up at my house at 6am and made me breakfast in bed before I went to school? That was a good birthday. Logan's sweet, but he'd never do something like that. Shoot, I gotta go. I got class in like a half hour. Thanks for having lunch with me Nick. I know you were here even though you weren't physically here. Love you."
***
"Hey Nicky. Today has been a rough day for me. I miss you more than ever for some reason. I keep on thinking about you nonstop. Logan knows something is up, but I haven't told him about you. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I still love you so much. Me and Joe just had lunch a little while ago. You have such an amazing brother. He always makes me feel better. I think he's having a rougher time than all of us, but he just never shows it. I'm sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore when I talk to you. It's just...this is so hard. I would give anything to have you back. I just wanna see your family happy again. I would trade places with you any day."
***
"Nick! Oh my gosh guess what? Logan proposed! We're getting married! Isn't it great? I know we're young, I'm barely twenty, but this is just amazing. I feel like I'm finally getting on with my life. Logan is an amazing guy, I'm sure you'd like him. I can't believe this is happening. Sorry I won't be able to visit you again soon, I'm really busy with wedding plans. I stand by what I said before though, Logan is no you."
***
"I'm so sorry. It's been almost a year. Like an entire year. I feel so guilty. So much has been going on I don't know how I could possibly have time to tell you all about it. Me and Logan got married six months ago. We had our wedding in the park, not far from here actually. It was a beautiful little ceremony. Your family came. It was quite the party. I have some more good news to share too. I'm pregnant! With a little baby girl. Can you believe it? I'm gonna have a baby. I'm so excited. This is all so crazy. I wish you were here to see it all.
***
"Hey Nick. I'm due in less than a month. I'm starting to freak out about everything, so I thought I'd come here to relax. I've been feeling really guilty recently. It's just...I love Logan, I really do. But I spend most of the time wishing he was you. I wish I was married to you. I wish you were my first and only. I wish I was having a baby with you. I can't help it. You...you were so perfect. We just clicked, you know? Me and Logan argue a lot. I just don't fully enjoy being with him as much as I enjoyed being with you. It's not the same.
***
"Hey Nick. Sorry if I sound sad. I had my baby girl, that was happy. I named her Michelle, Micki for short. She's so beautiful and she's only a few weeks old. Logan flaked. He said he's not cut out to be a father, so he left and filed for divorce. It's really hard taking care of Micki all by myself. But I'm managing somehow. I still wish I was with you. You wouldn't have flaked out on me. You would've stayed. You would've been a great father. I really wish we could go back and change the past. I guess we can't. I guess we're just here with what we got."
***
"Hi again. It's me. Well duh. I brought someone with me this time. I really wanted you to see her. This is my daughter, Micki. She turns four next week. I can't believe four years have passed by already. Thanks for always being here with me. I know you've helped me raise her. Gosh, you should see her Nick. She really is amazing. I don't know how I'm getting along doing this whole parenting thing by myself. I miss you. Everyday. All the time."
***
"Oh Nick. I can't believe how quickly time has passed. It's amazing isn't it? I come today, well it's not easy for me to say. A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I was given a few weeks. Can you believe it? Here I am. 52 years old. And I'm dying. I'm not doing too great. Micki isn't coping well either. She's been leaning on her husband a lot. Oh Nick, this isn't how I wanted things to turn out. I didn't want to die now. I didn't want to marry anyone but you. I didn't want to have a kid with anyone but you. I know I can't hang on any longer. Tonight, things are gonna change. Things are gonna start over for me and you. Tonight, I am going to have a beautiful end to my sad life. Tonight me and you are going to be together. Forever. Forever and always. I love you Nick. I can't wait to see you again."
I honestly don't know what to say about this one. The idea just came to me as I was supposed to be doing Alg2/Trig homework. This was more fun.
Anyway, anyone got any feedback?
P.S. I should be updating That Summer in the next couple of days. Sometime before Friday I presume.
