I ran…. as fast as my little legs could take me. I wasn't sure where I was but as long as I was away from him, I was happy. I'd take anything over staying with him. I don't even know how I managed the past 6 months living with him, I was unimaginable.
Flashback
I was sitting in the den watching TV as I always did on Saturday morning. I had a bowl of cereal in my hand and the remote in the other. This was all I did ever since it happened… my mom died. I kept to myself after that, all my family and friends seemed to disappear after that. I was truly alone.
But that was okay with me at the time, I didn't want anyone else. I was content with keeping to myself. That's how I dealt with my mother dying, but daddy took another approach.
He started drinking, all the time. He even drank himself to a coma one time. I kept telling myself that this was temporary that soon enough it would all go back to normal, but even I knew that was a lie.
So I was not surprised when he walked out of the kitchen with a bottle of booze in his hand. It was our normal routine; he would wake up drunk, yell about how much he hated his life, and go back to bed with a new bottle of alcohol that he got from the fridge. So I was surprised when he came and sat by me on the couch. He slowly took his hand and moved across my thigh. He began to squeeze in certain spots.
I didn't really know what he was trying to do at the time so I was surprised when he bent forward and kissed me in the mouth. I was not the smartest person in the world, but I knew enough to realize that this was something that daddies and daughters should not do.
"What are you doing daddy?" I asked in a voice that sounded nothing like my own. He seemed surprised at my question and stared at me for a long moment. Than he twisted his mouth in a wicked snare and said the words that I would fear for the rest of my life.
"We're going to have some fun."
End of Flashback
I fell back on the tree that I was standing by, the memory of what happened that day instantly brought tears in my eyes. The feel of his hands torturing my body always ended up in my nightmares somehow.
Its okay, I kept reminding myself, he can't hurt you anymore. But as I said those words I longed them to be true.
