Monday afternoon
"You know I don't want to go," Blaine said as he shut his locker. "And besides, why on earth would they have this dance on a Monday?"
"Come on, Blaine!" Sam whined.
"No girls have asked me," he sputtered. This wasn't true, of course, but he was just grasping at straws to get Sam to leave him alone.
"Who cares? A dance is still a dance and they're fun." Sam started doing his famous white chocolate belly rolls. Normally Blaine would've laughed, but he was so tired of everyone in glee club giving him a hard time about this stupid dance.
"Dammit, Sam, I said no!" he replied angrily. Sam stopped walking and grabbed his shoulder to pull him back.
"Wait, I'm sorry!" More quietly he added, "if you're, you know, afraid because of what happened at your old school, you know I wouldn't let anyone hurt you."
Blaine dropped his attitude. Sam was the nicest and most caring person he knew. At that moment his green eyes were so sincere that Blaine immediately felt bad for his snappy reply. It was true- a Sadie Hawkins dance did hold bad memories for him, memories he tried his hardest to keep deeply buried, but that wasn't the only reason he didn't want to go. He wasn't sure if Sam would understand.
"It's not just that…" he started.
"Well, then?" Sam asked as he opened the door to the choir room. Blaine realized they were a couple of minutes late. Not that Mr. Shue would yell at them or anything, but Blaine was still flustered. "Later," he breathed to Sam as he walked to his seat. Sam rolled his eyes and plopped in the chair next to him.
Mr. Shue was talking about how unrequited love is really hard for a teenager to deal with, and so the assignment was to sing a song that expresses rejection or longing. "Even if you don't have much experience in the love department I still want you to have fun with this, and maybe you'll even find a new song or artist that you like. That will be for the rest of the week, but today we were actually asked to go help decorate for the Sadie Hawkins dance."
Blaine had to stop himself from letting out an irritated snort. That damn dance was everywhere.
Xxxxxxx
After a very annoying decorating session in which Rachel tried to boss everyone around and Santana kept threatening to go 'all Lima Heights on her ass," Sam was relieved to catch up with Blaine, who had seemed to be avoiding him the whole time in the gym.
"Hey, pilgrim," he said in his best John Wayne impression as he draped his arm around Blaine and squeezed his shoulders.
"Hey, Sam," he said with an easy smile.
"Look, dude, I'm sorry about pushing you on this whole dance thing, but I just want to ask you one question."
Blaine stopped walking and sighed as he looked down. "Alright, what is it?"
Sam didn't like seeing him all sad and nervous… Maybe he should just drop it, for now. He changed direction.
"Can you help me get ready? Like, I don't know what to do with my hair, or even how to tie a tie if I'm being honest," Sam laughed. Blaine's face brightened with that smile that Sam loved being the cause of, because yes, he admitted, it was nice to look at. It wasn't weird to notice a friend's good features, was it? It's not like he couldn't notice that smile the first time they met. What are you supposed to look at but someone's face when they're talking?
"Of course. We'll stop by your house and grab your tux. I'll make sure Brittany won't be able to keep her hands off you."
With that Blaine started heading to the parking lot. It was only then that Sam realized he had been staring at Blaine's mouth that whole time, and he really hoped it went unnoticed.
Xxxxxx
The two boys entered Blaine's bedroom. As usual, they had the house to themselves since his parents were hardly ever there and Cooper moved to Los Angeles three years ago. Blaine used to hate this house and how lonely he felt in it, but that changed when he had met Sam a year ago.
He had transferred to Mckinley immediately after that terrible night, and Sam was new there too since his dad had just landed his job in Lima. Each of them desperate for a friend, they hung out at Blaine's house the day they met and found out that they had a lot in common, such as their love for superheroes and sci-fi, singing, and a passion for classic video games like Super Mario Bros and Donkey Kong. From then on they spent almost every weekend together, either at his or Sam's house. Sometimes they hung out on weekdays if Sam needed help with homework. The one difference, of course, was that Sam had become a hot quarterback and dated three hot cheerleaders while Blaine remained his nerdy self- bow ties and all. On top of that he was the only out kid in school. In any other school that fact alone might have torn them apart, but thankfully they had found a glee club with awesome people that gave them the confidence to stay friends, no matter what people thought.
Sam threw his tux on Blaine's dresser. "So, we have a couple hours until I have to get ready. What should we watch?" he asked excitedly.
"Hmmm… Captain America?" he asked, as if he didn't already know the answer.
In reply Sam just smiled and went to the shelf of movies. Blaine noticed, again, how Sam would flip his hair out of his face when he got up, and the way his green eyes crinkled through his blonde bangs when he would smile excitedly- Whoa, stop! Don't go any further… Blaine tried his hardest not to crush on his best friend- more importantly, his straight best friend whom he couldn't handle losing- but Sam made it really hard not to like him. Those lips for crying out loud!
Blaine shook his head a little to snap out of it before sitting on his bed with his back against the headboard and legs outstretched. Sam kicked off his shoes and joined him after putting in the movie, sitting closer than he could have. Blaine smiled to himself. Another reason it was hard not to like him: he was so open and comfortable around Blaine. He didn't mind giving him big hugs in front of everybody or putting his arm around him when he was feeling down. Just the way a friend should be. Blaine knew that many straight guys didn't even do that for each other, let alone their gay friend. That's why Sam was extraordinary.
Twenty minutes into the movie and after Sam's usual hilarious impressions and commentary, he suddenly turned to Blaine and asked, "How come you don't want to go to the dance? You can tell me," he said sincerely. Blaine sighed. Well he might as well sound like a hopelessly romantic sap and get it over with.
"Ok, well…" Blaine rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find the right words. "You know how… when you take someone to a dance you really like, how excited you feel to hold their hand, or the butterflies in your gut when you dance with them?" He spat out in an embarrassed rush. Sam just nodded, patiently waiting for him to continue. "Ok, I know it sounds girly and stupid, but is it wrong that I want that with someone I like? To hold his hand and- and slow dance with him without people staring or- in my case- beating the crap out of me?" A moment of silence passed. Blaine was used to this, as Sam usually took some time to process things, but in his embarrassment he rambled on: "I mean, yeah, I would have a good time with Tina and everything, but going at all does remind me of that night, and it just depresses me to think about the unfairness of it, I guess," he took a deep breath. "Anyway, it's silly-"
"Dude, it's not silly at all," Sam interrupted him. "I mean, it's not wrong to want that, and I want to punch the guys that hurt you and made you feel that way," he said fiercely, his bright green eyes ablaze. Caught in the fire, Blaine managed after a moment a quiet "Thanks, Sammy," as he stared straight at the TV. He was acutely aware of Sam's body so close to his and the fact that he could still feel him staring. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it… He chided himself.
Xxxxx
Beyond his embarrassment, Sam could see Blaine's sadness, and he understood why. What if he was beaten up for something as simple as dancing with Brittany?
"Do you remember those assholes' names?" Sam asked. They had gotten away with it with barely a smack on the wrist. Expensive lawyers could do amazing things.
"Of course I do, but I'm not going to tell you," Blaine replied, still gazing at the screen. "You would do something stupid."
Ok, that was true, but it was just such bull crap! It was hard to sit and do nothing when someone as good and pure as Blaine was put through something like that. And for such a stupid reason, too!.
Sam could tell that although Blaine's eyes were on the TV, his mind was somewhere else. Back in time, about a year ago. A couple moments passed while they were lost in their thoughts.
"Ricky got away," Blaine said, his voice barely audible. Sam froze. Blaine had always refused to talk about that night. "He got help as soon as he could, but by the time they got there I was-" it was as if Blaine suddenly remembered he wasn't alone. He glanced at Sam and back to the TV. Was he swallowing back tears?
"Hey," Sam said gently as he put his arm around him and held him close. "It's ok," he said softly. After a sigh Blaine leaned his head heavily on Sam's shoulder. "You can talk to me about it… If you want."
Blaine took a moment before continuing:
Flashback
Ricky and Blaine had decided to leave; they were getting too many stares, some curious, but many hateful. Danny Wilson, the stereotypical top jock, had called them fairies and made threatening hand gestures when they first arrived.
Ricky was a nice guy and all, but overall the night had been awkward, not at all the ridiculous teenage dream Blaine had fantasized about the night before.
They were walking to Ricky's car, which was out back by the two dumpsters in the student lot. Out of nowhere Blaine was shoved forward. He landed painfully on his knees and swung around to see Danny Wilson's huge form hovering over him. Two of his teammates were holding on to a struggling Ricky.
Blaine barely had time to register the smile of sick anticipation on Danny's face before his abdomen was met with a crushing blow from his foot. The force of it took Blaine's breath away as he fell on his stomach. He felt Danny's foot on his back, pinning him to the hard ground.
"Come back here for a private make out session, fairies?" he kicked Blaine's side. Blaine groaned and curled his body. Through the haze of pain he heard Ricky's footsteps fading away.
"Leave him!" Danny yelled. "One fag is enough for one night," he laughed wickedly. His friends hoisted Blaine up by his armpits and dragged him up against a dumpster. Blaine barely had the strength to hoarsely yell, "Please, stop!" before a fist crashed into the side of his face, blinding him with pain. He just wanted it to be over. He remembered wondering if they were going to kill him, and the intense fear that took over him at the prospect of how much more painful it could possibly be. Thankfully, after one more blow to his forehead he passed out, vaguely remembered the ambulance drive and the paramedic asking him to say his name, and woke up in the hospital the next day.
"I had a broken rib, and my face was pretty bruised… Huge shiner and my forehead was three times it's size."
At this point Blaine was talking in a monotonous tone and squeezing Sam's hand.
"I started my transfer to Mckinley the day after I was released from the hospital. As you know, I started boxing shortly after. I want to be prepared if there's… A next time," he finished.
"No way. I won't let there be a next time," Sam promised forcefully. Blaine started breathing harder, his hands shaking. Without thinking about it Sam pulled Blaine into his chest for a huge bear hug.
"It's ok," he whispered in Blaine's ear. His grip tightened around Sam as he tried calming down. They stayed like that until the movie was over, when Blaine stood up without even looking at him. He cleared his throat. "Well, it's 5:30. You should start getting ready," he said quietly.
Sam got up silently and gave his best friend another hug, needing him to know that he didn't have to be embarrassed at all. He felt Blaine smile into his neck.
"Thanks," he mumbled, understanding Sam's intent.
"No problem, bro," Sam smiled back.
Xxxxx
After Blaine dropped Sam and Brittany off at McKinley that evening (Sam didn't have a car and the thought of Brittany behind the wheel was scary for anybody), Blaine couldn't get rid of this feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was like butterflies, but more intense, almost painful. Perhaps it was loneliness, or longing, or both. For the rest of the night Blaine scolded himself for feeling that way. Sam was just being a good friend. Stop this, or it will only be worse for you in the end, he thought. It worked while he was conscious, but once he was asleep he couldn't control the dreams of holding Sam close, and when he woke up he could have sworn that the smells of Sam's hair and aftershave were still burning in his nostrils, as if carried into life from the dream.
