The twin suns rose in pink silence like a giant floating fruit over the horizon. Fresh and near to bursting, the air was cloaked in the sweet smells of the jungle; the lingering smell of dew and awakening flowers. It was strangely silent today as if the whole of the jungle moon was offering a moment of remembrance, joining the small figure on the top of the newly built Jedi Academy. The wetness of the dawn clung to her robes which in turn hugged her skin like a damp blanket, but she didn't care. Her long blond mane fluttered in the calm breeze, catching glints of sunlight and shining like cornsilk. She closed her eyes and opened her mind, joining her own mental voice in the song of the jungle.

It was the day she dreaded every year, the anniversary that had now come for five years. And for each of those years, she greeted the day on Yavin 4, the moon that had been her childhood home, that had given her a family. She greeted the day with a sense of thankfulness and yet always mourning. Today was the day she had lost him and with him, she had lost more of herself than she thought possible. Pieces of her heart, the brightness of her smile and much of her hope; all were things that Anakin had taken with him on this day.

She felt tears burn behind her eyelids and with a gasp she blinked hard and let them fall. They scattered like pearls onto her lap and distantly she touched the pattern they left with trembling fingers. Her hands were thin, the bones in her fingers prominent and graceful. She knew how she looked; it was in the eyes of everyone who stared at her pityingly or sadly. Bronzed, healthy skin but fragilely thin, jutting cheekbones and hollow eyes. Still as small as ever but lacking fire, painfully breakable, she knew she fooled them all. She knew what still laid dormant in her brain, the power and domination of the seed the Yuuzhan Vong had planted.

It was under control now, had been for years, thanks to the unwavering help of the Solo/Skywalker families. She could now separate herself from the past, the memories, the other personality they had poisoned her with. She had shut down that part of her a long time ago, but deep within her, she knew the effects would always remain. Her fingers strayed thoughtfully to the wormlike scars still starkly noticeable upon her forehead. Every time she looked in the mirror, she was reminded and she liked it that way.

She had healed to the best of her abilities. More closure wouldn't come for years, years that could dull the memories. The pain rarely haunted her anymore; perhaps that was why today hit her so hard. Like a punch to the gut she roiled in waves of guilt and sorrow. They had told her that eventually the pain would cease but she hadn't been ready for it.

She hadn't noticed when she stopped thinking about him. It used to be a normal occurrence, everything reminded him of her. The stars were his eyes, the sunlight was his smile, the hum of a ship was his voice. A sob escaped her, harsh and guttural. When had all that changed? When had she begun to move on?

"Anakin." She whispered his name to the cloudless sky and imagined it echoing through the jungles, the only sound in the holy silence the moon was sharing. She could still picture him beside her, although his face was slightly out of focus now. Tall and dark-haired, eyes the bluest she'd ever seen, he had been her only friend and her first love. She could hardly recall a happy memory that didn't include him. He was as much a part of her as the Force was…So how had he slipped from her everyday consciousness? She had loved him desperately, the way only young loves can. His dying had both devastated and enabled her. She had become more powerful in the Force than any one could have imagined but the grief that swamped her for months afterwards had nearly killed her.

Now that the universe had righted itself and democracy had once again united the galaxy, she had slowly began to fill her life back in again. She had taken to days and days of studying, meditating, fasting until she was weak, evolving into a Jedi worthy of Master Luke's tutorage. She had earned her title of Knight fairly but not without sacrifices. Every leap, every bound she made as a Jedi was plagued by the knowledge that Anakin was not reaching potential beside her. Instead he was some hero you could see in history holos-an idol that the young Jedis such as Valin Horn and his sister worshipped. He was gradually becoming more and more the martyr figure that the galaxy mourned in a distant, sad fashion. Lost was the persona of energy and selflessness that had been Anakin Solo.

Tahiri Veila missed remembering. She missed Anakin still; it was the one constant thing in her life, but lately she had found herself wanting to smile again, wanting to live life fully again. Something she hadn't expected to desire anymore. It was largely due to the devotion of the Solo family and the way they had taken her without question into their hearts. She frequently visited Leia and Han, had dinner with Jaina whenever the busy pilot was available; she had even babysat for the now five year old Ben Skywalker. Everyone had done their part in forgiving her, aiding her, being her friends. The guilt tickled at the back of her throat as another face battled Anakin's for the focus of her mind's eye.

Jacen had been first to reach out to her and he had never given up, even though for a long time she was a hopeless case. Their friendship had been a beautiful part of her life, one she had never expected and now one she recklessly counted on. People whispered they were two of a kind, citing their captivity, their scars and the similar horrors they had faced. Tahiri knew better though. Jacen had a marvelous, patient soul, wise and handsome, gifted in ways only great Jedi are. She was worlds apart from Jacen Solo and only she knew the wish that went unspoken in her heart.

Lately she had been startling at his touch and warming at his smile. There was an unexplained reaction that happened to her whenever he was around. Suddenly her concave world was brighter and she didn't feel so lost. It hadn't bothered her until today when she sat mourning Anakin. Her guilt piled up upon her and she jumped to her feet, trying to clear her head with deep breaths. She couldn't betray Anakin, wouldn't betray Anakin. Gasping on dry sobs she fled across the top of the Academy down into the bowels of the building, desperately searching for some peace.