A/N: Chapter One of "Screw Your Lipstick!" was intended only to be a fluffy one shot for "Mrs. & Mrs. Swan-Mills: A Collection of Swan Queen One-Shots", so it might be familiar to you. I was not prepared for the overwhelming messages that I got for an extension. Everyone was so interested in Regina "paying her fine". Though I can't promise a continuation for every one-shot I write, something sparked with this one and I found myself thinking about it WAY too much which led to me to typing furiously on my keyboard what happened in the Swan-Mills household that night. I hope you enjoy reading it! Comments and feedback are always welcome!

Disclosure: I do not own the characters of Once Upon A Time, but I do love Emma & Regina so much. Long live Swan Queen!


Chapter One

It was a quiet day for the Storybrooke Sheriff's department. Emma glanced up from her files, at the very distinct clacking of stiletto heels approaching from down the hallway, and grinned when Regina was spotted walking toward her office. "Hey, Mayor Sassy Pants. What brings you down to my place of business?"

"You left your lunch at home," Regina Mills said as she strolled charmingly into the office and up to her wife's desk, dropping a brown paper sack onto it.

"Uh..." Emma eyed the bag, stamping down feelings of mild disgust. She didn't forget it. She left it at home on purpose. "... A kale salad with butternut squash?"

"Uh-huh..."

"Yeeeeah..." Emma snorted. "I left it at home." She lifted the bag and set it on the corner like it was biohazard material. "Thanks for bringing it by, babe." She would get a hamburger later.

"Oh no... Sheriff Swan-Mills, you are not cheating on your diet. We have finally sorted everything out between us, admitted our feelings for one another, expressed an interest in a committed future together and even made it official. We have fought monsters, each other, and the powers of darkness..." Regina, in her form-fitting business attire, leaned closer, bending herself at the hip, "... I am not going to lose you to heart disease, dear."

At that moment Emma's attention was caught by two young deputies colliding out in the hall while catching a glimpse of Regina's posterior attributes in her rather tight skirt jutting out proudly in the air.

Scoffing and giving Regina a half suppressed laugh, she quipped softly. "You may prevent me from having one, but you're going to give my deputies heart attacks, Regina."

"Well, your heart is the only one I care about, Em-MA."

The sheriff leaned in closer for a kiss but Regina dodged her lips at the last minute, quickly offering her cheek and pressing it against Emma's in an air kiss.

"What the fuck was that?" The sheriff complained as the mayor straightened.

Regina just pointed to her own lips and said, "Lipstick," as if she didn't want to ruin hers since she was headed into work.

The mayor spun on a spiked heel, however she had not anticipated the sheriff forcefully grabbing her hand with a snort, a "Screw your lipstick!" and yanking a flailing Regina over the arm rest and onto her lap. With the mayor's curvaceous form rocking into place, fitting perfectly against her, Emma placed a palm over Regina's silk stockinged thigh, slowly driving it up toward a sexy hip over the skirt that had ridden up just a little.

"Sheriff Swan-Mills, this is extremely inappropriate! What if one of your deputies were to pass by again?"

"They'd see their boss making out with her wife and I'd expect them to keep it to themselves until they are out of earshot and not describe it like some trashy lesbian porn scene when they mention it to their colleagues."

"Emma!"

"What? Like I give a rat's ass what anyone thinks about this particular thing. We're married. You're mine. That means I get to kiss you whenever I want."

Wrapping her arms around Emma's shoulders Regina inquired with a lifted curved brow, "And if it's your father?"

Chuckling, Emma touched the tips of their noses together as she splayed her fingers across her wife's backside, the very one that had distracted her deputies moments earlier, feeling perfect against her palm. "My dad'll probably roll his eyes, shake his head and tell us to get a room like he usually does. Besides it's not like I have my hand up your skirt."

"Because that would be entirely improper in public."

"Absolutely… I'd have to at least close the door first."

Regina had no clever response since they had done far naughtier things in the off hours of this very office behind a closed door. "Indeed."

"Now, Mayor Swan-Mills, are you going to kiss me like you mean it or am I going to have to detain you?"

"Excuse me? On what grounds?"

"Seriously, Regina? For being way too sexy for this town's good! It's not like you haven't spent a great deal of time already in the Enchanted Forest taunting these poor people with Evil Cleavage..."

"Evil what now?"

"... As mayor you parade around in tight, sometimes short, skirts showing off that delectable ass of yours… and we won't even begin to speak of every third button of every blouse you own straining with the labors of keeping your perfectly rounded boobs inside your clothes."

"That's ridiculous."

"That's the truth! I should know, having spent my life in Storybrooke trying not to stare at them."

"You are insane."

"And you are a walking violation."

"Oh please..."

"Kiss me properly..." Emma puckered up. "Quickly before we get caught." Regina sighed and rolled her eyes.

"You're lucky I love you, Sheriff Swan-Mills."

"So you tell me..." As their lips met and parted sweetly, Emma pulled Regina in tighter as their tongues stroked one another's intimately.

When the kissing stopped, Regina smiled and skimmed a knuckle tenderly down Emma's cheek. They shared a look of agreement as if acknowledging that they would continue this later and the older wife struggled a bit to get up from Emma's lap. "Eat your salad."

"Yes, Your Majesty. Whatever you say, Your Majesty."

"You should be this compliant at all times, Sheriff." Regina made a thorough search of her coat pockets after slipping it on.

"Lose something, Queen Cuddlebuns?"

Regina's immediate halt and eye roll, but without reproach, told Emma that her wife was used to the silly nicknames by now.

"Lipstick." She held up the tube happy to have found it. She removed the top and swivelled the bottom as the deep red color appeared, used her phone's camera as a mirror, but before applying any, she stopped to think better of it.

Regina surprised Emma suddenly by cradling her head back and giving her a heady open mouthed kiss, taking her breath away, but before the sheriff could engage, it all ended as abruptly as it began. Regina fixed her makeup and when she was satisfied that all was well with her appearance, she made to leave the office, "Have a good day, dear.

Emma watched, still slightly dumbstruck, shook the dizzying effects of the kiss off and rasped out, "Hang on!"

The mayor turned around and Emma was scribbling something down and tore it from her pad. Taking the offered slip, the brunette's eyes bulged realizing what it was.

"A ticket? You're giving me a ticket..." Regina's eyes scanned the slip of paper and she snorted reading the charge. "… for 'being too fucking hot' and 'disturbing the Sheriff's peace of mind with my..." Pausing she looked up with mild disbelief, "...concealed weapon under my skirt'. Cute, Emma. Very cute." The mayor was about to crumple the ticket when Emma made a protesting sound.

"You'll still have to pay the fine of the ticket." She suggestively wiggled her eyebrows thinking that it was going to be fun collecting the ticket's fee. Emma had a few sexual favors in mind already.

"I'll tell you what, Sheriff. We can discuss this matter later this evening. I'll even let you frisk me to thoroughly inspect that concealed weapon you're charging me with." Regina's twinkling eyes made a slow appreciative perusal of the sheriff's body and Emma felt her nerve endings tingle. "Hmmm... For your safety though, maybe you should bring your handcuffs home."

The smile disappeared completely from Emma's face as her jaw slackened and her eyes dilated lustfully.

Regina however simpered, winked and sashayed out the door emphasizing the sway of her hips.

"Holy hot damn." Emma heard the expletive escape her own lips as a goofy grin was born slowly across her lips. "Let today go by quickly."

To be continued…