A/N: A short little Varon one-shot as he muses over his feelings and
obsessions, concluding in a rather important duel with Jounouchi.
Disclaimer: If I owned Yugioh I'd have Varon's wardrobe thrown out and replaced instantly. I'd also revolt against the latest Japanese episodes which seem to be leaning in the 'Jounouchi=Idiot' direction. Why the heck couldn't he figure out who Mask za Rock is??? Anyways I obviously own nothing, because foremost, if Yugioh was mine yaoi would be a fact of life.
Warnings: Shounen-ai. A few curse words. No abuse, but Jounouchi being poor is mentioned. Other than that, it's pretty clean! Wow! I wrote something that can actually be below an R rating!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Knowing When Not to Fight ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Damn it!
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
Have you ever met someone who is so totally your equal that it drives you insane? You stay awake in bed for countless hours just dreaming up a way, any way, that you can break free and conquer them once and for all? Do you always realize by dawn that it's never going to happen, they'll always be right there, equal to you no matter how hard you try?
I realized that last night, laying on my back on the hard hotel mattress looking with disinterest at the plain stucco ceiling. I'm never going to beat Jounouchi Katsuya, no matter how hard I try. I tried out of hatred, I tried out of desire for Mai, and finally I succumbed and challenged him on the basis of obsession. Only now, after how many wasted hours, I suddenly realized I'll never win.
Why might you ask?
How can I, with a kick ass at my disposal, not EVER win?
There's a damn simple reason that I've spent a lot of wasted energy ignoring, and that's just it, I don't want to win. I never had a reason inside to win, and now I finally know why.
Damn it.
I dueled my way out of jail, I took countless souls to pay for my freedom, and this damn punk is all it took to topple me off my pedestal.
And hell, it was one of the most fun times I'd ever had in my life. Doesn't that just beat all? Sure, temporary loss of soul, loss of Mai, and general all-consuming guilt aside, I loved it.
I've never had such a duel before, so intense and passionate. Well, okay, we were pummeling each other into the ground, but I think we both rather enjoyed ourselves anyway. Not that I'm a sucker for punishment, but damn, I've never had a fight like that. Well, okay, I've had more colossal fights, more bloody fights, but it was just a matter of surviving another day. It was like a chore, beating up the others to save my own neck, to keep safe another day.
Who would've thought that dumb punk could teach me anything?
It took me ages after Dartz was gone to go back and find him. I've never been one much for apologizing, but with him I had to. I respected him too much to just let it end without some kind of conclusion. I expected him to hit me. I expected him to yell and have a tantrum and curse me out for ages. Heck, I even thought he might just ignore me and walk away.
He smiled. ...
He SMILED at me. Then he shrugged and said "It's nothing, man. That was a pretty good duel." I gaped at him and waited for the other shoe to drop.
"Ehhh...are you okay?"
I blinked...he was asking me if I was okay? What about him? Me and the other warriors put him and his friends through a few solid weeks of hell and he's shrugging it off? He's actually showing some bizarre concern for me? What the hell is wrong with this boy?
"Varon?"
Like the jerk I am, I turned tail and ran away from him. I still can't believe I did that, running away scared. It angered me to the point I was driven back to him the next week, and I did what I always did when I felt unsure. I challenged him.
This vicious smile came to his face and I really thought I was in for it. He accepted and we dueled. It wasn't nearly so spectacular as our last duel, but without the powers of the Orichalos it never is. I guess that's my only regret. In the end I lost, what I see now as a forgone conclusion. He laughed and said it was a good fight, even though I knew he was being polite. Well, then again, he's not exactly one for manners, so maybe he was being honest. I'm not sure really about much of anything anymore.
Next week I sought him out again, and once again threw some insults and a challenge in his face. He grinned again, and we fought once more. I fared even worse this time.
"Man, if you're gonna challenge me at least pay attention to the game." he said after he'd handed my ass to me on a silver platter. I was off my game to the point where even he'd noticed, and he doesn't seem the observant type.
Third week, I paid attention and almost had him. Almost. At the last minute he managed to special summon Jinzo back from the graveyard and all my carefully constructed traps went out the window. I got trounced at that point.
He gave me a rather self satisfied smile and told me to come back anytime, he'd be ready. He waved and left and I stood in the alley just blinking.
"You idiot." a soft voice called out from the shadows behind me. I turned and stared in disbelief. The only other person I'd cared about since I was a kid was standing there leaning casually against the wall, looking at her nails as though they were the most important thing in the world. There was a time I'd kill to have her look at me like that.
Yes, literally, kill. So I was a misguided youth, okay?
"Mai."
"The one and only." she smiled and I could feel a heap of stress and tension just pour out of me. "Long time no see."
"I looked for you..."
She shook her head, blonde tresses flowing out behind her. "I didn't want to be found."
"Oh." my heart fell.
"Cheer up, you seem to have made more of yourself now, even if your sole purpose for being right now is to defeat Jounouchi." she shrugged. "Well, I guess some things don't change."
"So?" I snapped defensively. "You wanted to beat him to!"
She looked down, her eyes dark and sad and I wished I hadn't said anything. "Yeah, I know. Only afterwards I realized how dumb I'd been acting. I was a fool. That's why I had to go away for a while, hon."
"Yeah, I guess we were all kind of fools."
"No, Varon. You were who you'd been forced to be. You don't have to be him anymore, if you don't want to. You can be whomever you want to be now."
"This sounds suspiciously like an after-school special, Mai."
She laughed delightedly. "Who said I can't be maudlin every once and a while? What I'm trying to get through that puffy hair of yours is that you don't have to be an enemy, you don't have to be against him. I started off like that, but the kid and his friends won me over. I was a fool to side against them after all that had happened just because I wanted to beat him. With thoughts like that in my heart, I'd never be able to. Not honestly at least. I finally got that after our last duel, when he--" she trailed of thoughtfully. "I tried to get his soul back. Yours, too. I tried to undo everything I'd done. Funny thing, I think that duel was my best ever, but no one ever saw it. I tried so hard, because I finally had a reason I believed in. In the end I failed. Divine irony I guess."
I smiled sadly and nodded. I once had a reason to duel I guess, lousy though it was. I dueled to survive, I dueled for freedom. I don't know when I decided that taking another person's soul was a fair trade for my own life. What kind of person can think like that?
I don't know the answer, but I was a person like that once. Who was I now?
Mai and I walked to a nearby park and sat on the grass, just staring up at the sky until dusk began to settle. All in all it was nice, but I could feel a distance between us that was caused by our past and our guilt. I was never going to have her as mine, and more so, I don't think I should've. I thought of her as my girl for a brief period, but I knew she was thinking more of that punk than of me. That's why I had to beat him, why I needed so badly to hurt him, so Mai would belong to me, her thoughts would be of me. It was stupid and naive to think things could be solved so easily, but I was never one for deep thoughts.
"You understand now why you had to beat him back then," she said suddenly, breaking the almost perfect stillness of the early evening. "Why do you still fight him?"
I blinked a few times, not really understanding anything, certainly not my own motives.
"You wanted to duel for me once, but you know now that's not true, your reasons having nothing to do with me anymore. Why him? Why do you still have to fight Jounouchi?"
I didn't really know the answer at first, it began to dawn on me slowly. "I had a really crappy life..." She scoffed. "That's a dumb excuse, Varon."
"Shut up and let me finish!" I snapped, and her eyes went sullen for a moment before returning to that look of deep introspection. "I had a crappy life. I was always fighting for one thing or another, I fought because it was the only way to stay alive. In jail it was worse and I became even more wild out of a need to protect myself. I lashed out at everything, hating everything. When I was given the chance for freedom I took it and ran with it. At first it was just a bunch of other prisoners, so who really cared if that kind of waste lost their souls? Dartz knew what he was doing in choosing a prisoner to be his warrior, a person who will do anything without question just to remain free. I don't remember the point where I started to take souls from regular free people, I don't remember if it ever even bothered me. I was all about the fight to keep free, to take down everyone but myself just to stay out of those bars. Then it was about the fight, it was something I knew, something my whole life was based on, fighting to stay alive."
"So?"
"I'm getting to it." I sighed. "After I met you and found out about Jounouchi I knew I had to beat him so that I could have you to myself." I paused at the sheer childishness of that statement. "God, was I a jerk." She laughed. "Who can blame you? I am after all the hottest woman in Japan."
I smiled. "So I hunted down Jounouchi, I guess I saw him as my greatest challenge, the last obstacle before I could finally count myself as a winner and just stop fighting for everything. I know I was wrong, if I'd beaten him I still would've fought, I wouldn't have seen anything else for myself to do."
"I know."
"So I left you behind to confront my opponent alone. A great duel with only one winner claiming you as the prize."
"I didn't want to be claimed."
"I know that now."
She smiled and patted my hand.
"In the midst of that battle I should've been thinking about how much was on the line, how much was at stake. I should've worried about how closely matched we were, how for once I was actually facing the possibility of losing. I should've been terrified, I should've been afraid for my soul..." I trailed off moodily, staring up at the stars, but I couldn't help but grin. "I wasn't thinking any of those things, no worries, no fear, not even anger really. I was having the time of my life. I think I've never had so much fun as I did that night. I lost my soul, but I think maybe I started to redeem it that night as well. I finally saw that there was more to fighting than survival. I'd never enjoyed myself, never taken time to let myself get carried away in the excitement. It was always about a quick win, overwhelming my opponent and striking them down. I had so much fun with Jounouchi in that duel, I learned so much more than I expected. I keep going back to him, trying to find that excitement again, the way I finally felt alive again..." Her arm wrapped around my shoulders and I could lightly smell her perfume. I remember it was nice, sort of floral, just what you'd expect a girl like her to wear.
"Why Jounouchi? You must know by now that if you put your heart in it you could find that joy in anything, in a duel with anyone. You just keep searching him out though."
I struggled with the thought for a long time.
"You don't have to prove anything to him, he accepts you as a good duelist, maybe even as a friend if you asked him to."
I looked up at her in surprise.
"Jounouchi is that kind of guy...part of what you're searching for is his forgiveness."
I scowled. "He won, it's not like I took his soul or anything."
"You put him in that position though. You're angry that you did that to someone like him. You won't feel right until you know he does forgive you, and I know you won't just take my word for it."
"Fine, fine. I hate it when you're right and I wind up looking like an idiot."
She laughed at me again and gave me a squeeze. "Please, Varon, everyone's an idiot beside me. Really though, I just know this because I feel it too. When I'm ready I'll go and ask him to forgive me."
"Why not now?"
"I haven't come to terms with myself, or else I would've."
"Oh."
"I do know he'll forgive me and things will go back to normal in time. I look forward to that when I'm finally over everything I have to work through."
"Yeah. I know."
"You seem ready. You keep challenging him, don't you? I've said it before, but I still believe it, you'll never beat him."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mai." I said dryly.
"That's not how I meant it. You keep showing up and dueling him out of frustration, or a need to prove yourself to him. Until you face him with the right feelings in your heart you can't win against him. Every challenge he takes is personal, he gives his entire heart to the duel and you can't face that power if your own heart is lacking in purpose. Find a reason in your heart, Varon, and when you face him carrying that strong feeling you'll finally have a real duel with him. I never have yet. Maybe I will someday." "B-but what reason could I possibly have?"
"Once you're honest and figure out why you keeping sticking around dueling him you'll have your reason and then you'll be ready to take him on."
"I'll think about it."
"If I'm right you'll do very little else until you have your answer."
She was right about that, damn her for it.
I've spent every night up until now just thinking it over, trying to examine my feelings from every angle. The first thing I noticed was that I was incredibly hard to figure out. Second, I was sticking around for some reason I wasn't even sure of.
I took Mai's advice yesterday, I went to beg him for forgiveness. I don't beg well.
I had thrown on some old jeans and a t-shirt, clinging to the ragamuffin look Mai would've said. I was over the whole punk phase and tried to at least blend in nowadays, though as she often teased, I kept my hair as is. Then again, with people like Yugi in town my hair was certainly not the most outrageous. I walked to his building and waited on the steps for him to come out. I wasn't sure which apartment was actually his, I'd only followed him to the lobby before. After I waited for an hour he came bustling down the steps with a piece of toast in his mouth and he tripped over me. We both wen't sprawling an his toast fell to the pavement. He bitched me out about that before realizing it was me.
"Sorry, it's just my breakfast. I get cranky if I don't eat."
I laughed and he looked hurt. "Sorry, I didn't mean to," I apologized. He was looking curiously at my empty hands and I shrugged. "I'm not here to duel." he looked somewhat disappointed by that. "Uh...why don't we go get a bite to eat, since I ruined your toast."
He looked down at the pavement and shuffled his feet for a moment. "Nah, it's okay." he said finally.
I looked up at the building and it occurred to me finally why he lived in such a crappy area. He was poor. I never really thought of that until now. I grew up poor too, so I knew the embarrassment that went with it. I knew how to handle it. "Damn it, I'm going to sit here feeling guilty all day 'cause I trashed your damn toast. Just let me fucking buy you breakfast!" I yelled.
His head came up quickly and he blinked at me sort of owlishly, it was funny. "Uh, okay." he said quietly at first, then grinned. "I don't want you to feel bad or nothin'"
Embarrassment taken care of. We walked silently to a small diner close by and I ordered a coffee, he ordered pancakes. He seemed to forget about being embarrassed when food was in close proximity. I used to be like that too, until after I hooked up with Doom. I still had a full expense account that Dartz had given me. Money would be the least of my worries for a couple more years at least.
"So, what's up?" he asked too casually once he was done eating, which had taken a remarkably short amount of time. He ate like he was stocking up against the possibility of several short meals in the future. It was almost painful to realize how alike we were in many respects.
I was never one to beat around the bush, never one to try and lead up to what I was thinking. I knew Jounouchi was like that also. "I want you to forgive me."
He almost choked on his coffee. "What?!"
"I came to ask you if you could forgive me."
He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, studying my face until I had to look away. I wanted to squirm in my seat or laugh and pretend it was a joke. I still had to much respect to back out at that point.
"I forgive you. Haven't you forgiven yourself?"
I didn't expect such an insightful comment from him. "I-I don't know."
"Sure. I forgive you. I hope it helps." he looked at his watch. "Listen, I have to go, Yugi and the gang are waiting for me. I'd ask you to come 'cept I know you'd refuse. So, come by sometime and we'll have another duel. Sound good?"
I nodded dumbly and he stood up and walked to the door, stopping to wave. "See ya, Varon. Thanks for breakfast." and then he was gone.
It's been in my mind since, that casual smile, the easy way he just simply forgave me. He didn't really hesitate, didn't have to think it over, he forgave me. I know that studied look was for my benefit alone, not quite pity, but he understood that I hadn't forgiven myself. I don't think even Mai really noticed that, but somehow he did. Life is full of surprises.
That's what led to this long sleepless night I just suffered through, all the damn upset and uncertainty finally crashing down on me as I realized a few awful truths. It hurt, it was almost frightening, but it gave me resolve.
And with that in mind, I got up out of bed and strapped on my duel disk and went out in search. I had my answers and I finally had hopes of defeating Jounouchi Katsuya. I knew my purpose and for the first time in my life I was ready to really put my heart into the fight.
I was dressed in tan khakis and an undershirt, a light breezy button up thrown on over top, light blue of course to match my eyes. I stood with resolve across the street from his home, my arm poised and ready, deck shuffled and honed. I was ready, and when he came down the stairs into the early sunshine, he knew it too.
He looked at me carefully for a moment, then he turned and went back inside. I wasn't worried, I knew he'd be back, and soon he was, his disk strapped on now too. He walked out across to me slowly, his face calm and certain, mine only less so.
"You ready?" he asked and I nodded.
"I have a place in mind."
"Lead the way."
I took him to the grass hillside where I'd had my heart to heart with Mai, since in all honesty that's really what led to this special duel in the first place.
He smiled. "Nice. Scenic."
"There are terms to this duel."
He shrugged. "Isn't there always?"
I laughed lightly and nodded again. "If I win you will grant me one small request, a favour or you will answer one question for me honestly. Whichever I choose."
"Okay. What if I win?"
"Don't you have a request?"
He thought about it for a moment and then smiled. "Sounds good. Same terms for both sides. It's fair." "Good. Let's duel!"
"Duel!"
And thus it began. I thought I knew his tricks, his combos. I had carefully memorized his favourite deck strategies, his favourite card types. Of course, he's a good duelist, so once again he'd changed his deck. After I split with doom I'd changed my deck over completely, giving up on my favourite cards which had little good to show for them with the power of Orichalos.
I tried to match his deck, warrior versus warrior, but he threw me for a loop, changing his strategy ever so slightly, but enough to throw a major stick into my my gears. My Frontier Wiseman became useless against an onslaught of Beast-warrior types, something I hadn't expected. My warrior destruction cards also proved useless, and it seemed no matter how much my heart was in it, I never drew what I needed, nothing to give me the upper hand.
The look of triumph that came into his eyes made me know he'd pulled his Red-Eyes, something he always manged to do. I envied that luck. I played my Trap Hole but he had a Thief's Swiss Army Knife ready and pulled his dragon right back onto the field. He blasted Frontier Wiseman and left me with a bare 500 life points. I had only one card left and it was powerful enough I hoped to save me the game. With my turn I flipped my face down Cyber Jar and trashed his dragon. We pulled the five cards and in distress I noticed my first four were magic. The fifth was monster reborn. Finally a card that could win me the match.
I called his dragon from his graveyard and attacked his first face down card, Swordsman of Landstar. Not much of a defense. With no other monsters in my hand I placed my other magic cards face down and ended my turn, feeling pretty secure that I was about to win. 500 life points versus 900, but with no monsters left to defend him, he was as good as toast.
He smiled and played a face down magic/trap card and I viciously revealed my Mystical Space Typhoon, he countered with Magic Jammer and discarded to activate it. I frowned uncertainly, wondering why he'd waste his Magic Jammer to counter the Typhoon when the result was still the same?
"Sorry to do this to you Varon, but..." he placed Giant Trunade on the field and sent my cards back to my hand, leaving my, or really his, Red Eyes alone on my field. After my magic cards were gone he played Premature Burial and gave up 800 of his 900 life points to summon a card back from his graveyard. "I had to get this in my graveyard this turn to beat you, man. Thanks for helping me out."
"Damn it!" I cursed, finally realizing why he's wasted a Magic Jammer. He needed to discard something to the graveyard to special summon. There wasn't anything in the graveyard before that could beat the Red Eyes, and there weren't many cards in his deck that were stronger.
"Special Summon Buster Blader!" he smiled. "I won that off Yugi last week. He already has two, so it's nothing big to him. I would've lost my Jinzo, but I was pretty sure I'd win."
"Un." I grunted. "What'd you bet on?"
He laughed. "How long it would take for you to come back for another duel. He thought you'd disappear after the first duel, but you came back twice. I had faith in you."
"Faith?"
"You aren't the kind of guy to give up so easily. I knew you'd come back until you got whatever it was you wanted. Buster Blader attack!"
And with that he rather throughly dashed my life points and my hopes. I feel to my knees and stayed there. He sauntered over to me and held his hand out for me to grab and being the jerk that i have always been I slapped it away. I jumped up and pushed him backwards, delighting at the surprise and anger in his face. I expected him to jump back up and get in my face, yell and scream at me about how awful I was. I wanted him to say those things.
He stayed on the ground. "I'm sorry you lost. I think that was a pretty good duel though, you came really close."
"Stop patronizing me. You won, I lost. There isn't anything besides that fact."
"You still don't get it. There's a lot more to it. I've challenged Yugi at least five hundred times and I've only ever beat him once."
I was surprised. "Once?"
"Yeah, once." he pushed off the ground and stood in front of me, flipping through his deck before picking out one card and flipping it face up. "Red- Eyes was on the line. I gave it to Yugi to hold until I became a real Duelist."
"But you've only ever won once."
"Once was enough. I got my Red Eyes back. I might never win against him again, but that doesn't mean I'll stop trying. It took about half those duels before I ever won back my Red-Eyes, so don't get down. You've lost to me five times now. Once we get to two hundred I'll ask you again if you really feel like stopping."
"Don't you want me to stop?"
"Huh?" he frowned, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "When did I ever say that?"
"I-I thought when you won--"
"I'd ask you to leave me alone? That's what you had in mind?"
"Well, yeah. I figured you'd get sick of me tailing you and challenging you all the time."
"Well, yeah, I'm sick of you following me around everywhere, but I don't mind the duels. I'm always ready for a challenge and you're a good duelist. I like our duels, Varon."
"I'll quit with the following you around."
"That's not my request for winning this duel."
"I know, I'll stop just because."
He smiled at me again and gave me a light punch on the shoulder. "Nah, you can still tag along. You're the closest thing I've got to a fan club. You don't have to slink along in the shadows or whatever, I don't always mind the company. I hate having to look over my shoulder is all."
I twitched. "Fan club?"
"Yeah, you know, like a bunch of girls squealing and following you around? Yugi's got a few of those. Otogi has his own cheering squad. I'm sure Kaiba's got a few, but he's probably threatened them with restraining orders or somethin'. Me, well, I've got you. Right, groupie?"
"Groupie???!!!" I exploded and tackled him. He was howling with laughter until I gave up and couldn't help but laugh either. "Fine whatever. I'm cuter than most groupies at least."
"Pretty much. You should see the cheerleaders, Otogi must be blind or is trying to be politically correct. Hideous. Really." he mock shuddered. I think it was mock at least. I wouldn't know, I had yet to see these cheerleaders.
"So what now?"
"Don't I get my request?"
I sighed. "Yes. Whatever you want."
"Why do you follow me? Why do you keep coming after me and not anyone else? I don't think you've dueled a single person other than me since Doom broke up."
"Huh?"
"That's my question. You're supposed to give me an honest answer next."
"Oh."
"I'm waiting."
"Yeah, yeah. That's really like three questions though."
"Two questions and a supposition."
"Fine. Supposition. And no, I haven't dueled anyone else. Just you."
"Knew it."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm in awe of your deductive powers."
"So?"
I didn't want to say it. It galled me to think I was actually going to be bested by my own ridiculous terms. I really hadn't considered that he'd ask for anything other than for me to leave him alone.
"I like you."
"That's nice. I like me too."
"You idiot!" I hollered and spun away from him. He grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me back around, his face was close and I could feel the blood rising in my cheeks. Sure I'd lost the duel, but I might never have another chance like this ever again. I grabbed him by the shirt and swooped forward suddenly, trapping him in the most searing kiss I thought I could deliver.
When I relaxed my grip he stumbled backwards slightly and fell to his ass, his eyes were wide and staring up at me. I was fairly pleased to notice he was blushing and panting rather heavily. I haven't had many chances to practice kissing others, but I had been told on those few occasions that I was pretty good at it.
"Wh...what was that for?" he spluttered as I stood over him, watching his antics curiously. I tried to remain distant and detached, prepared to cold meet his insults and rejections.
"I thought I made my intent rather obvious."
He jumped off the ground and pushed me backwards, but I was ready and I didn't go off balance. I stood immobile, passive and cold.
"Damn it you jerk! Don't go doing the whole icy not-caring thing on me! Damn it, if you like me why the hell don't you just say so!"
"I did."
"I thought you were joking!"
"I wasn't."
"You weren't." he seemed to be calming down slightly, only pushing me lightly, and rather ineffectively. I noticed he was watching his hands far more than he was watching my eyes.
"I wasn't." I reconfirmed.
"Damn it!" his hands dug into the fabric of my shirt, gripping it tightly. "Stop being so damn cold. If I wanted someone that icy I'd go see Kaiba."
I blinked. "Sorry, I wasn't trying to--"
"Yes you were!" he cut me off. "So just stop it. I don't like it. I also don't like being called 'inu', I hate scary movies and I'm not fond of heights."
"Huh?"
"Just--hm. I like food, and games, and well...I like the beach."
"The beach?"
"Yeah." he said quietly, his hands still buried in my shirt, his posture leaning towards me. "I used to go to the beach with my sister when we were kids."
"I didn't know you had a sister."
"You'll meet her sooner or later. I'd take her to this beach I loved, and we'd just sit in the sand all day and watch the ocean."
"Sounds nice." I smiled. I rather liked beaches myself.
"I could show it to you sometime, y'know, if you'd like."
"I think I might like that. There's a lot of places I haven't been since before--"
"Wait a sec', you aren't still wanted or anything, are you?" he demanded.
"Huh? Oh, no, after I was in that program for Dartz I was out legally. No one's about to show up and drag me back."
"Oh, good. I'm not into dating a convict, long distance relationships never work."
I smiled and lazily draped my arm about his shoulders, he stiffened a moment before relaxing, his head turned aside slightly and I could tell he was still blushing. For all I knew I was too.
"So how about lunch? I don't know about you but I'm starved." I suggested casually and he smiled.
"Sounds like a good way to start, except I didn't have time for breakfast this morning."
"Why not?"
"I was supposed to meet up with Yugi."
"Why didn't you?"
"It seemed I had more important things to deal with."
"Oh. How about breakfast then?"
"Sure, I get cranky if I don't eat."
"I'll keep that in mind."
We walked off slowly, and I was pleasantly surprised that he didn't try to step out from my semi-embrace once we reached the street.
"One important thing." he said sternly, his dark eyes flashing ever so slightly.
I felt chilled, but tried to keep my voice mild. "What's that?"
"If we're dating you better start having more than just coffee."
I smiled. "Sure. I'll have some toast."
The End
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N:There you go. Not terribly deep or with much academic worth, but I liked it. I really wish that there was more of this particular couple. I like the idea of Varon and Jounouchi, since as I tried to point out, they do have a lot of similarities.
I also admit I hate writing duels. I enjoy playing my own, but writing them is hard and unenjoyable, especially since the deck the characters use are virtually useless and any real person playing them would be smashed in a second.
Anyways, there you have it. A nice little bit of nothingness to dwell on for a moment or two. If anyone actually writes another Varon/Jounouchi story please tell me!!!! I want to see more of them together!!! Sigh....not terribly likely I know, but alas, I was always one for strange unpopular pairings.
Ryanookami
Disclaimer: If I owned Yugioh I'd have Varon's wardrobe thrown out and replaced instantly. I'd also revolt against the latest Japanese episodes which seem to be leaning in the 'Jounouchi=Idiot' direction. Why the heck couldn't he figure out who Mask za Rock is??? Anyways I obviously own nothing, because foremost, if Yugioh was mine yaoi would be a fact of life.
Warnings: Shounen-ai. A few curse words. No abuse, but Jounouchi being poor is mentioned. Other than that, it's pretty clean! Wow! I wrote something that can actually be below an R rating!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Knowing When Not to Fight ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Damn it!
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
Have you ever met someone who is so totally your equal that it drives you insane? You stay awake in bed for countless hours just dreaming up a way, any way, that you can break free and conquer them once and for all? Do you always realize by dawn that it's never going to happen, they'll always be right there, equal to you no matter how hard you try?
I realized that last night, laying on my back on the hard hotel mattress looking with disinterest at the plain stucco ceiling. I'm never going to beat Jounouchi Katsuya, no matter how hard I try. I tried out of hatred, I tried out of desire for Mai, and finally I succumbed and challenged him on the basis of obsession. Only now, after how many wasted hours, I suddenly realized I'll never win.
Why might you ask?
How can I, with a kick ass at my disposal, not EVER win?
There's a damn simple reason that I've spent a lot of wasted energy ignoring, and that's just it, I don't want to win. I never had a reason inside to win, and now I finally know why.
Damn it.
I dueled my way out of jail, I took countless souls to pay for my freedom, and this damn punk is all it took to topple me off my pedestal.
And hell, it was one of the most fun times I'd ever had in my life. Doesn't that just beat all? Sure, temporary loss of soul, loss of Mai, and general all-consuming guilt aside, I loved it.
I've never had such a duel before, so intense and passionate. Well, okay, we were pummeling each other into the ground, but I think we both rather enjoyed ourselves anyway. Not that I'm a sucker for punishment, but damn, I've never had a fight like that. Well, okay, I've had more colossal fights, more bloody fights, but it was just a matter of surviving another day. It was like a chore, beating up the others to save my own neck, to keep safe another day.
Who would've thought that dumb punk could teach me anything?
It took me ages after Dartz was gone to go back and find him. I've never been one much for apologizing, but with him I had to. I respected him too much to just let it end without some kind of conclusion. I expected him to hit me. I expected him to yell and have a tantrum and curse me out for ages. Heck, I even thought he might just ignore me and walk away.
He smiled. ...
He SMILED at me. Then he shrugged and said "It's nothing, man. That was a pretty good duel." I gaped at him and waited for the other shoe to drop.
"Ehhh...are you okay?"
I blinked...he was asking me if I was okay? What about him? Me and the other warriors put him and his friends through a few solid weeks of hell and he's shrugging it off? He's actually showing some bizarre concern for me? What the hell is wrong with this boy?
"Varon?"
Like the jerk I am, I turned tail and ran away from him. I still can't believe I did that, running away scared. It angered me to the point I was driven back to him the next week, and I did what I always did when I felt unsure. I challenged him.
This vicious smile came to his face and I really thought I was in for it. He accepted and we dueled. It wasn't nearly so spectacular as our last duel, but without the powers of the Orichalos it never is. I guess that's my only regret. In the end I lost, what I see now as a forgone conclusion. He laughed and said it was a good fight, even though I knew he was being polite. Well, then again, he's not exactly one for manners, so maybe he was being honest. I'm not sure really about much of anything anymore.
Next week I sought him out again, and once again threw some insults and a challenge in his face. He grinned again, and we fought once more. I fared even worse this time.
"Man, if you're gonna challenge me at least pay attention to the game." he said after he'd handed my ass to me on a silver platter. I was off my game to the point where even he'd noticed, and he doesn't seem the observant type.
Third week, I paid attention and almost had him. Almost. At the last minute he managed to special summon Jinzo back from the graveyard and all my carefully constructed traps went out the window. I got trounced at that point.
He gave me a rather self satisfied smile and told me to come back anytime, he'd be ready. He waved and left and I stood in the alley just blinking.
"You idiot." a soft voice called out from the shadows behind me. I turned and stared in disbelief. The only other person I'd cared about since I was a kid was standing there leaning casually against the wall, looking at her nails as though they were the most important thing in the world. There was a time I'd kill to have her look at me like that.
Yes, literally, kill. So I was a misguided youth, okay?
"Mai."
"The one and only." she smiled and I could feel a heap of stress and tension just pour out of me. "Long time no see."
"I looked for you..."
She shook her head, blonde tresses flowing out behind her. "I didn't want to be found."
"Oh." my heart fell.
"Cheer up, you seem to have made more of yourself now, even if your sole purpose for being right now is to defeat Jounouchi." she shrugged. "Well, I guess some things don't change."
"So?" I snapped defensively. "You wanted to beat him to!"
She looked down, her eyes dark and sad and I wished I hadn't said anything. "Yeah, I know. Only afterwards I realized how dumb I'd been acting. I was a fool. That's why I had to go away for a while, hon."
"Yeah, I guess we were all kind of fools."
"No, Varon. You were who you'd been forced to be. You don't have to be him anymore, if you don't want to. You can be whomever you want to be now."
"This sounds suspiciously like an after-school special, Mai."
She laughed delightedly. "Who said I can't be maudlin every once and a while? What I'm trying to get through that puffy hair of yours is that you don't have to be an enemy, you don't have to be against him. I started off like that, but the kid and his friends won me over. I was a fool to side against them after all that had happened just because I wanted to beat him. With thoughts like that in my heart, I'd never be able to. Not honestly at least. I finally got that after our last duel, when he--" she trailed of thoughtfully. "I tried to get his soul back. Yours, too. I tried to undo everything I'd done. Funny thing, I think that duel was my best ever, but no one ever saw it. I tried so hard, because I finally had a reason I believed in. In the end I failed. Divine irony I guess."
I smiled sadly and nodded. I once had a reason to duel I guess, lousy though it was. I dueled to survive, I dueled for freedom. I don't know when I decided that taking another person's soul was a fair trade for my own life. What kind of person can think like that?
I don't know the answer, but I was a person like that once. Who was I now?
Mai and I walked to a nearby park and sat on the grass, just staring up at the sky until dusk began to settle. All in all it was nice, but I could feel a distance between us that was caused by our past and our guilt. I was never going to have her as mine, and more so, I don't think I should've. I thought of her as my girl for a brief period, but I knew she was thinking more of that punk than of me. That's why I had to beat him, why I needed so badly to hurt him, so Mai would belong to me, her thoughts would be of me. It was stupid and naive to think things could be solved so easily, but I was never one for deep thoughts.
"You understand now why you had to beat him back then," she said suddenly, breaking the almost perfect stillness of the early evening. "Why do you still fight him?"
I blinked a few times, not really understanding anything, certainly not my own motives.
"You wanted to duel for me once, but you know now that's not true, your reasons having nothing to do with me anymore. Why him? Why do you still have to fight Jounouchi?"
I didn't really know the answer at first, it began to dawn on me slowly. "I had a really crappy life..." She scoffed. "That's a dumb excuse, Varon."
"Shut up and let me finish!" I snapped, and her eyes went sullen for a moment before returning to that look of deep introspection. "I had a crappy life. I was always fighting for one thing or another, I fought because it was the only way to stay alive. In jail it was worse and I became even more wild out of a need to protect myself. I lashed out at everything, hating everything. When I was given the chance for freedom I took it and ran with it. At first it was just a bunch of other prisoners, so who really cared if that kind of waste lost their souls? Dartz knew what he was doing in choosing a prisoner to be his warrior, a person who will do anything without question just to remain free. I don't remember the point where I started to take souls from regular free people, I don't remember if it ever even bothered me. I was all about the fight to keep free, to take down everyone but myself just to stay out of those bars. Then it was about the fight, it was something I knew, something my whole life was based on, fighting to stay alive."
"So?"
"I'm getting to it." I sighed. "After I met you and found out about Jounouchi I knew I had to beat him so that I could have you to myself." I paused at the sheer childishness of that statement. "God, was I a jerk." She laughed. "Who can blame you? I am after all the hottest woman in Japan."
I smiled. "So I hunted down Jounouchi, I guess I saw him as my greatest challenge, the last obstacle before I could finally count myself as a winner and just stop fighting for everything. I know I was wrong, if I'd beaten him I still would've fought, I wouldn't have seen anything else for myself to do."
"I know."
"So I left you behind to confront my opponent alone. A great duel with only one winner claiming you as the prize."
"I didn't want to be claimed."
"I know that now."
She smiled and patted my hand.
"In the midst of that battle I should've been thinking about how much was on the line, how much was at stake. I should've worried about how closely matched we were, how for once I was actually facing the possibility of losing. I should've been terrified, I should've been afraid for my soul..." I trailed off moodily, staring up at the stars, but I couldn't help but grin. "I wasn't thinking any of those things, no worries, no fear, not even anger really. I was having the time of my life. I think I've never had so much fun as I did that night. I lost my soul, but I think maybe I started to redeem it that night as well. I finally saw that there was more to fighting than survival. I'd never enjoyed myself, never taken time to let myself get carried away in the excitement. It was always about a quick win, overwhelming my opponent and striking them down. I had so much fun with Jounouchi in that duel, I learned so much more than I expected. I keep going back to him, trying to find that excitement again, the way I finally felt alive again..." Her arm wrapped around my shoulders and I could lightly smell her perfume. I remember it was nice, sort of floral, just what you'd expect a girl like her to wear.
"Why Jounouchi? You must know by now that if you put your heart in it you could find that joy in anything, in a duel with anyone. You just keep searching him out though."
I struggled with the thought for a long time.
"You don't have to prove anything to him, he accepts you as a good duelist, maybe even as a friend if you asked him to."
I looked up at her in surprise.
"Jounouchi is that kind of guy...part of what you're searching for is his forgiveness."
I scowled. "He won, it's not like I took his soul or anything."
"You put him in that position though. You're angry that you did that to someone like him. You won't feel right until you know he does forgive you, and I know you won't just take my word for it."
"Fine, fine. I hate it when you're right and I wind up looking like an idiot."
She laughed at me again and gave me a squeeze. "Please, Varon, everyone's an idiot beside me. Really though, I just know this because I feel it too. When I'm ready I'll go and ask him to forgive me."
"Why not now?"
"I haven't come to terms with myself, or else I would've."
"Oh."
"I do know he'll forgive me and things will go back to normal in time. I look forward to that when I'm finally over everything I have to work through."
"Yeah. I know."
"You seem ready. You keep challenging him, don't you? I've said it before, but I still believe it, you'll never beat him."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mai." I said dryly.
"That's not how I meant it. You keep showing up and dueling him out of frustration, or a need to prove yourself to him. Until you face him with the right feelings in your heart you can't win against him. Every challenge he takes is personal, he gives his entire heart to the duel and you can't face that power if your own heart is lacking in purpose. Find a reason in your heart, Varon, and when you face him carrying that strong feeling you'll finally have a real duel with him. I never have yet. Maybe I will someday." "B-but what reason could I possibly have?"
"Once you're honest and figure out why you keeping sticking around dueling him you'll have your reason and then you'll be ready to take him on."
"I'll think about it."
"If I'm right you'll do very little else until you have your answer."
She was right about that, damn her for it.
I've spent every night up until now just thinking it over, trying to examine my feelings from every angle. The first thing I noticed was that I was incredibly hard to figure out. Second, I was sticking around for some reason I wasn't even sure of.
I took Mai's advice yesterday, I went to beg him for forgiveness. I don't beg well.
I had thrown on some old jeans and a t-shirt, clinging to the ragamuffin look Mai would've said. I was over the whole punk phase and tried to at least blend in nowadays, though as she often teased, I kept my hair as is. Then again, with people like Yugi in town my hair was certainly not the most outrageous. I walked to his building and waited on the steps for him to come out. I wasn't sure which apartment was actually his, I'd only followed him to the lobby before. After I waited for an hour he came bustling down the steps with a piece of toast in his mouth and he tripped over me. We both wen't sprawling an his toast fell to the pavement. He bitched me out about that before realizing it was me.
"Sorry, it's just my breakfast. I get cranky if I don't eat."
I laughed and he looked hurt. "Sorry, I didn't mean to," I apologized. He was looking curiously at my empty hands and I shrugged. "I'm not here to duel." he looked somewhat disappointed by that. "Uh...why don't we go get a bite to eat, since I ruined your toast."
He looked down at the pavement and shuffled his feet for a moment. "Nah, it's okay." he said finally.
I looked up at the building and it occurred to me finally why he lived in such a crappy area. He was poor. I never really thought of that until now. I grew up poor too, so I knew the embarrassment that went with it. I knew how to handle it. "Damn it, I'm going to sit here feeling guilty all day 'cause I trashed your damn toast. Just let me fucking buy you breakfast!" I yelled.
His head came up quickly and he blinked at me sort of owlishly, it was funny. "Uh, okay." he said quietly at first, then grinned. "I don't want you to feel bad or nothin'"
Embarrassment taken care of. We walked silently to a small diner close by and I ordered a coffee, he ordered pancakes. He seemed to forget about being embarrassed when food was in close proximity. I used to be like that too, until after I hooked up with Doom. I still had a full expense account that Dartz had given me. Money would be the least of my worries for a couple more years at least.
"So, what's up?" he asked too casually once he was done eating, which had taken a remarkably short amount of time. He ate like he was stocking up against the possibility of several short meals in the future. It was almost painful to realize how alike we were in many respects.
I was never one to beat around the bush, never one to try and lead up to what I was thinking. I knew Jounouchi was like that also. "I want you to forgive me."
He almost choked on his coffee. "What?!"
"I came to ask you if you could forgive me."
He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, studying my face until I had to look away. I wanted to squirm in my seat or laugh and pretend it was a joke. I still had to much respect to back out at that point.
"I forgive you. Haven't you forgiven yourself?"
I didn't expect such an insightful comment from him. "I-I don't know."
"Sure. I forgive you. I hope it helps." he looked at his watch. "Listen, I have to go, Yugi and the gang are waiting for me. I'd ask you to come 'cept I know you'd refuse. So, come by sometime and we'll have another duel. Sound good?"
I nodded dumbly and he stood up and walked to the door, stopping to wave. "See ya, Varon. Thanks for breakfast." and then he was gone.
It's been in my mind since, that casual smile, the easy way he just simply forgave me. He didn't really hesitate, didn't have to think it over, he forgave me. I know that studied look was for my benefit alone, not quite pity, but he understood that I hadn't forgiven myself. I don't think even Mai really noticed that, but somehow he did. Life is full of surprises.
That's what led to this long sleepless night I just suffered through, all the damn upset and uncertainty finally crashing down on me as I realized a few awful truths. It hurt, it was almost frightening, but it gave me resolve.
And with that in mind, I got up out of bed and strapped on my duel disk and went out in search. I had my answers and I finally had hopes of defeating Jounouchi Katsuya. I knew my purpose and for the first time in my life I was ready to really put my heart into the fight.
I was dressed in tan khakis and an undershirt, a light breezy button up thrown on over top, light blue of course to match my eyes. I stood with resolve across the street from his home, my arm poised and ready, deck shuffled and honed. I was ready, and when he came down the stairs into the early sunshine, he knew it too.
He looked at me carefully for a moment, then he turned and went back inside. I wasn't worried, I knew he'd be back, and soon he was, his disk strapped on now too. He walked out across to me slowly, his face calm and certain, mine only less so.
"You ready?" he asked and I nodded.
"I have a place in mind."
"Lead the way."
I took him to the grass hillside where I'd had my heart to heart with Mai, since in all honesty that's really what led to this special duel in the first place.
He smiled. "Nice. Scenic."
"There are terms to this duel."
He shrugged. "Isn't there always?"
I laughed lightly and nodded again. "If I win you will grant me one small request, a favour or you will answer one question for me honestly. Whichever I choose."
"Okay. What if I win?"
"Don't you have a request?"
He thought about it for a moment and then smiled. "Sounds good. Same terms for both sides. It's fair." "Good. Let's duel!"
"Duel!"
And thus it began. I thought I knew his tricks, his combos. I had carefully memorized his favourite deck strategies, his favourite card types. Of course, he's a good duelist, so once again he'd changed his deck. After I split with doom I'd changed my deck over completely, giving up on my favourite cards which had little good to show for them with the power of Orichalos.
I tried to match his deck, warrior versus warrior, but he threw me for a loop, changing his strategy ever so slightly, but enough to throw a major stick into my my gears. My Frontier Wiseman became useless against an onslaught of Beast-warrior types, something I hadn't expected. My warrior destruction cards also proved useless, and it seemed no matter how much my heart was in it, I never drew what I needed, nothing to give me the upper hand.
The look of triumph that came into his eyes made me know he'd pulled his Red-Eyes, something he always manged to do. I envied that luck. I played my Trap Hole but he had a Thief's Swiss Army Knife ready and pulled his dragon right back onto the field. He blasted Frontier Wiseman and left me with a bare 500 life points. I had only one card left and it was powerful enough I hoped to save me the game. With my turn I flipped my face down Cyber Jar and trashed his dragon. We pulled the five cards and in distress I noticed my first four were magic. The fifth was monster reborn. Finally a card that could win me the match.
I called his dragon from his graveyard and attacked his first face down card, Swordsman of Landstar. Not much of a defense. With no other monsters in my hand I placed my other magic cards face down and ended my turn, feeling pretty secure that I was about to win. 500 life points versus 900, but with no monsters left to defend him, he was as good as toast.
He smiled and played a face down magic/trap card and I viciously revealed my Mystical Space Typhoon, he countered with Magic Jammer and discarded to activate it. I frowned uncertainly, wondering why he'd waste his Magic Jammer to counter the Typhoon when the result was still the same?
"Sorry to do this to you Varon, but..." he placed Giant Trunade on the field and sent my cards back to my hand, leaving my, or really his, Red Eyes alone on my field. After my magic cards were gone he played Premature Burial and gave up 800 of his 900 life points to summon a card back from his graveyard. "I had to get this in my graveyard this turn to beat you, man. Thanks for helping me out."
"Damn it!" I cursed, finally realizing why he's wasted a Magic Jammer. He needed to discard something to the graveyard to special summon. There wasn't anything in the graveyard before that could beat the Red Eyes, and there weren't many cards in his deck that were stronger.
"Special Summon Buster Blader!" he smiled. "I won that off Yugi last week. He already has two, so it's nothing big to him. I would've lost my Jinzo, but I was pretty sure I'd win."
"Un." I grunted. "What'd you bet on?"
He laughed. "How long it would take for you to come back for another duel. He thought you'd disappear after the first duel, but you came back twice. I had faith in you."
"Faith?"
"You aren't the kind of guy to give up so easily. I knew you'd come back until you got whatever it was you wanted. Buster Blader attack!"
And with that he rather throughly dashed my life points and my hopes. I feel to my knees and stayed there. He sauntered over to me and held his hand out for me to grab and being the jerk that i have always been I slapped it away. I jumped up and pushed him backwards, delighting at the surprise and anger in his face. I expected him to jump back up and get in my face, yell and scream at me about how awful I was. I wanted him to say those things.
He stayed on the ground. "I'm sorry you lost. I think that was a pretty good duel though, you came really close."
"Stop patronizing me. You won, I lost. There isn't anything besides that fact."
"You still don't get it. There's a lot more to it. I've challenged Yugi at least five hundred times and I've only ever beat him once."
I was surprised. "Once?"
"Yeah, once." he pushed off the ground and stood in front of me, flipping through his deck before picking out one card and flipping it face up. "Red- Eyes was on the line. I gave it to Yugi to hold until I became a real Duelist."
"But you've only ever won once."
"Once was enough. I got my Red Eyes back. I might never win against him again, but that doesn't mean I'll stop trying. It took about half those duels before I ever won back my Red-Eyes, so don't get down. You've lost to me five times now. Once we get to two hundred I'll ask you again if you really feel like stopping."
"Don't you want me to stop?"
"Huh?" he frowned, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "When did I ever say that?"
"I-I thought when you won--"
"I'd ask you to leave me alone? That's what you had in mind?"
"Well, yeah. I figured you'd get sick of me tailing you and challenging you all the time."
"Well, yeah, I'm sick of you following me around everywhere, but I don't mind the duels. I'm always ready for a challenge and you're a good duelist. I like our duels, Varon."
"I'll quit with the following you around."
"That's not my request for winning this duel."
"I know, I'll stop just because."
He smiled at me again and gave me a light punch on the shoulder. "Nah, you can still tag along. You're the closest thing I've got to a fan club. You don't have to slink along in the shadows or whatever, I don't always mind the company. I hate having to look over my shoulder is all."
I twitched. "Fan club?"
"Yeah, you know, like a bunch of girls squealing and following you around? Yugi's got a few of those. Otogi has his own cheering squad. I'm sure Kaiba's got a few, but he's probably threatened them with restraining orders or somethin'. Me, well, I've got you. Right, groupie?"
"Groupie???!!!" I exploded and tackled him. He was howling with laughter until I gave up and couldn't help but laugh either. "Fine whatever. I'm cuter than most groupies at least."
"Pretty much. You should see the cheerleaders, Otogi must be blind or is trying to be politically correct. Hideous. Really." he mock shuddered. I think it was mock at least. I wouldn't know, I had yet to see these cheerleaders.
"So what now?"
"Don't I get my request?"
I sighed. "Yes. Whatever you want."
"Why do you follow me? Why do you keep coming after me and not anyone else? I don't think you've dueled a single person other than me since Doom broke up."
"Huh?"
"That's my question. You're supposed to give me an honest answer next."
"Oh."
"I'm waiting."
"Yeah, yeah. That's really like three questions though."
"Two questions and a supposition."
"Fine. Supposition. And no, I haven't dueled anyone else. Just you."
"Knew it."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm in awe of your deductive powers."
"So?"
I didn't want to say it. It galled me to think I was actually going to be bested by my own ridiculous terms. I really hadn't considered that he'd ask for anything other than for me to leave him alone.
"I like you."
"That's nice. I like me too."
"You idiot!" I hollered and spun away from him. He grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me back around, his face was close and I could feel the blood rising in my cheeks. Sure I'd lost the duel, but I might never have another chance like this ever again. I grabbed him by the shirt and swooped forward suddenly, trapping him in the most searing kiss I thought I could deliver.
When I relaxed my grip he stumbled backwards slightly and fell to his ass, his eyes were wide and staring up at me. I was fairly pleased to notice he was blushing and panting rather heavily. I haven't had many chances to practice kissing others, but I had been told on those few occasions that I was pretty good at it.
"Wh...what was that for?" he spluttered as I stood over him, watching his antics curiously. I tried to remain distant and detached, prepared to cold meet his insults and rejections.
"I thought I made my intent rather obvious."
He jumped off the ground and pushed me backwards, but I was ready and I didn't go off balance. I stood immobile, passive and cold.
"Damn it you jerk! Don't go doing the whole icy not-caring thing on me! Damn it, if you like me why the hell don't you just say so!"
"I did."
"I thought you were joking!"
"I wasn't."
"You weren't." he seemed to be calming down slightly, only pushing me lightly, and rather ineffectively. I noticed he was watching his hands far more than he was watching my eyes.
"I wasn't." I reconfirmed.
"Damn it!" his hands dug into the fabric of my shirt, gripping it tightly. "Stop being so damn cold. If I wanted someone that icy I'd go see Kaiba."
I blinked. "Sorry, I wasn't trying to--"
"Yes you were!" he cut me off. "So just stop it. I don't like it. I also don't like being called 'inu', I hate scary movies and I'm not fond of heights."
"Huh?"
"Just--hm. I like food, and games, and well...I like the beach."
"The beach?"
"Yeah." he said quietly, his hands still buried in my shirt, his posture leaning towards me. "I used to go to the beach with my sister when we were kids."
"I didn't know you had a sister."
"You'll meet her sooner or later. I'd take her to this beach I loved, and we'd just sit in the sand all day and watch the ocean."
"Sounds nice." I smiled. I rather liked beaches myself.
"I could show it to you sometime, y'know, if you'd like."
"I think I might like that. There's a lot of places I haven't been since before--"
"Wait a sec', you aren't still wanted or anything, are you?" he demanded.
"Huh? Oh, no, after I was in that program for Dartz I was out legally. No one's about to show up and drag me back."
"Oh, good. I'm not into dating a convict, long distance relationships never work."
I smiled and lazily draped my arm about his shoulders, he stiffened a moment before relaxing, his head turned aside slightly and I could tell he was still blushing. For all I knew I was too.
"So how about lunch? I don't know about you but I'm starved." I suggested casually and he smiled.
"Sounds like a good way to start, except I didn't have time for breakfast this morning."
"Why not?"
"I was supposed to meet up with Yugi."
"Why didn't you?"
"It seemed I had more important things to deal with."
"Oh. How about breakfast then?"
"Sure, I get cranky if I don't eat."
"I'll keep that in mind."
We walked off slowly, and I was pleasantly surprised that he didn't try to step out from my semi-embrace once we reached the street.
"One important thing." he said sternly, his dark eyes flashing ever so slightly.
I felt chilled, but tried to keep my voice mild. "What's that?"
"If we're dating you better start having more than just coffee."
I smiled. "Sure. I'll have some toast."
The End
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N:There you go. Not terribly deep or with much academic worth, but I liked it. I really wish that there was more of this particular couple. I like the idea of Varon and Jounouchi, since as I tried to point out, they do have a lot of similarities.
I also admit I hate writing duels. I enjoy playing my own, but writing them is hard and unenjoyable, especially since the deck the characters use are virtually useless and any real person playing them would be smashed in a second.
Anyways, there you have it. A nice little bit of nothingness to dwell on for a moment or two. If anyone actually writes another Varon/Jounouchi story please tell me!!!! I want to see more of them together!!! Sigh....not terribly likely I know, but alas, I was always one for strange unpopular pairings.
Ryanookami
