Watching Her
I am a river. Rushing, riding, tumbling over the edge. I am River. I can do anything. I was programmed that way. I can slip through the cracks and blend into my surroundings. I am the surroundings.
No one can see me when I surround them. I hide. I climb the stairs and stop at her shuttle. I open the door, just a crack so I can see. Her, Inara. The beautiful butterfly, the graceful cat. Too far, too far for me to reach her. She would never reach for me on her own.
Beautiful, graceful Inara. Elegance in a world of grey and black.
"Kaylee sweetie? Is that you?"
I slip inside in my own graceful stride. Gliding over to where she sits at the mirror. She turns.
"Oh it's you River. How are you today?"
She smiles encouragingly. Her full lips painted a dark red, like wine.
I answer. "Uncertain."
"Is there something I can do for you?"
I stare at her lips. The wine I'd like to drink. Up, I look up back at her eyes.
"Would you like to me to brush your hair?"
I nod as she grabs her brush and installs herself on the floor. She sits in the sea of pillows. I swim to her front and she begins to brush. It feels good. I lean back on her, feeling the softness of her on my back.
Brushing stops.
"River honey?"
I turn my body to face her. Our knees touch. Her hand on mine now. Skin on skin. Soft and warm. I blush and look at her lips again. I want her to reach for me.
I'm invisible in her presence. I reach out and touch her cheek, soft and silky. I've never kissed anyone. I have existed for eighteen years. Eighteen years of existence. An adult and never been kissed. Eyes focused on lips.
"Is there something else you want River? Don't be afraid to ask."
The blush, the tell all red creeps into my cheeks. I look down and when I look up her face is inches away. She knows.
"Have to go," I say.
Flee! Flee! Flee!
"River!" She calls out.
Dinner arrives and so do I. To the dining area we gather. I'm late. The only space left is next to her. She smiles at me. I run.
Another day passes. I found her door again. I crack the door open. Peep, peep. Like a chick. I peep inside. She is bathing, her back facing away. I kneel down and watch. She is so beautiful. I cannot look away.She dips the sponge into the bowl and stokes her body over and over, methodically working. She turns suddenly, facing me. Exposed. Should leave, stay anyway. Seconds pass. Then:
"River, it's not very polite to watch." She slips on silk over her skin. A robe. The door opens. She ushers me in. Closes the door.
"Is there something you want?" She asks again.
I nod this time.
She smiles. "Will you tell me or should I guess?"
Something catches my eye. It sparkles on the table. I turn, she catches me. I can't look her in the eye so she does that for me. One slender finger under my chin. She raises my face up.
I taste wine, her lips on mine. She kisses me. Her velvet mouth, mine to explore. Warm, wet, beautiful. My wandering hand slips under the silk. Warm and wet there too.
"River!" She takes my wandering hand in hers.
"I'm an adult," I tell her. "Eighteen years of existence."
She lets my hand go, amusement sparkling in her dark eyes. "I remember," she tells me.
She backs away a step. The silk slips to the ground. Beautiful, just beautiful.
