A/N: Hey everyone! I hope you're all having a splendid Winter break! This is a little gift from me to all of you who read my story through this year. I really hope you enjoy it! I have this AU stuck in my head for a while now, and depending on how much you all enjoy it I might expand it and tell a little bit more about their story.
Happy Holidays!
My name is Maria and I'm six years old.
I live in New York City, the greatest city in the world, with my fabulous dog George and my mommies. That's right, I have two mommies!
Mommy is a famous Broadway star! You might have heard of her, she is the best singer in the entire world, and she has a shelf full of trophies which she calls Tony. That means people like her performances a lot – or so she told me. Sometimes, when I behave, Mommy will let me play with the Tonys. I direct George to put on shows for us and if he's good enough I give in a trophy. He usually isn't very good – he has some trouble following directions – but sometimes I'll let him win anyway so that his feelings aren't hurt.
Mama is a writer. She writes books for grown ups, mainly. I'm not exactly sure what they're about, but once, right when I was born, she wrote a children's book and named it after me! That book is her best one yet, and she always reads it to me before bedtime. That book has also become a play, which mommy got to act on – they won lots of Tonys for that one.
Mommy and Mama have known each other since forever. They went to school together in a state called Ohio – which is where my grandpas live. It's pretty boring in there, but I'm suppose to keep smiling to not upset my papas. Anyway, Mama was a cheerleader. She had a super long blonde hair and she looked very much like a fairy princess. Mommy has always been a singer, and she used to dress up like a doll.
Mama was a little bit sad back then, though. Her mom and dad were mean to her, and she was scared they wouldn't like her anymore if they knew she liked mommy. That part of the story is a bit confusing for me. I wanted to ask my grandmother and grandfather to explain it to me, but I never got to meet them. Mama says I'll understand all of this when I'm older. She keeps saying that, but it's been forever and I'm still not older.
Mama was mean to mommy. She told me that happens sometimes, when you love someone too much and you don't know how to show all of your love. I guess that's why George bites my finger sometimes. But Mama learned how to love, and Mommy had always been good at waiting for things.
Mama moved to New York after college, and ran into Mommy at Central Park. Mommy says Mama almost fell with her face on the ground and stuttered for 15 minutes before being able to say "hi". Mama says that's a lie. I guess I'll just never know.
Mama introduced Mommy to George, and they hit it off right away. They started meeting every week to take George for walks, and also to have coffee because Mama loves it. Mommy doesn't like it, and neither do I. But Mommy used to drink it because she liked to be with Mama.
Just a little bit later, they moved in together. They were supposed to be roommates, but one night Mommy was scared of a hurricane and slept over at Mama's room. That's when they kissed for the first time. Mama says she saw fireworks. Mommy agrees. It wasn't the 4th of July, so I don't know where that came from – but I guess it's true.
Papa said they should get married, and Mommy always wanted to wear a bride's dress, so they did. Mommies looked beautiful and Aunt Brittany said even Aunt Santana cried watching the ceremony – and Aunt Santana never cries.
When Mommy won her first Tony, she decided the next thing she wanted in life was a baby. But she didn't want to stop working. And Mama didn't want to have a boyfriend – which I understand because boys really do suck. So they went to a doctor who put me inside of Mama's belly. Then, in a Christmas morning, I was born.
Mommies say it was the best day ever, but I don't really remember it.
Life was pretty good. Aunt Brittany babysat me while mommies worked. Sometimes she would take me to work with her, which was absolutely the best. I think I might wanna be a dancer like her when I grow up. On the weekends, mommies and I used to take George for walks, watch musicals, play games and have lots of fun.
But then, when I turned 5 years old and started kindergarten, things started to change. Mommy got a new play to work on, and she was very excited about it. We celebrated a lot, but I'm not really sure we should have because it ended up not being so nice.
Mommy had to work a lot more than she usually did. She started coming home later everyday, and I was upset she never had dinner with Mama and I anymore. But Mama said it was only temporary and soon everything would be an O-K again.
I always waited up for Mommy to get home and give me my goodnight kiss before I went to sleep. I had to pretend to be asleep though, because mommies didn't like when I stayed up too late.
One night, I waited and waited and my kiss never came. And that happened every night since then. I would hear Mommy coming home, but instead of coming in to my room to give my kiss I only heard her and Mama fighting. I didn't really like it. They yelled pretty loud sometimes, even though Mama always says that yelling is not polite. They wouldn't talk much at breakfast anymore, and they looked more tired than George does after chasing pigeons on Sunday mornings.
One day, I woke up and Mommy wasn't home. Mama was alone in bed, buried in a mountain of fluffy pillows. There was no breakfast either, and I was pretty hungry. Aunty Brittany showed up and took me for breakfast and to school. She told me mommies would have a talk with me in the evening, and I thought I was in deep trouble.
They told me I wasn't. They said I didn't do anything wrong, but that Mommy would live in another house from that day on. I asked for how long and Mama said forever. Mommy didn't say anything. I wasn't sure if I should believe her. But they were both crying and I felt like crying too, even though I didn't know why.
I told my friend Annie at school the next day about it, and she told me this was called a divorce. She said her parents did that too, and that it meant they didn't love each other anymore. I told her she was crazy, and that mommies loved each other for sure. She told me the good part was that I would get to have two rooms and double the amount of toys. But I wasn't really sure if that was really good.
I asked Aunt Brittany if she thought mommies didn't love each other, and she told me I shouldn't be worrying about that. I asked George too, but he never answers my questions. So I guessed I should just ask moms.
"Mama?" Maria asked, propping the weight of her head in her hands while Quinn scrambled eggs for their breakfast.
"Yes, baby?" Quinn answered mindlessly.
"Do you love me?"
"Of course I do! More than anything, dear! Why would you ask me that?" Quinn questioned worriedly, turning to face Maria.
"Do you love George?" Maria asked, ignoring her mother's question.
"Yes. Although he can be a pain sometimes! He's my best friend." Quinn answered, throwing a piece of egg to the dog, who caught it mid-air and earned a pat in the head.
"Do you love Mommy?" Maria finally asked, and Quinn froze. She turned off the oven and sat down in front of her daughter to try and find out where she was trying to get. "Annie says you don't live together because you don't love each other." Maria completed, and Quinn sighed deeply.
"That's not it. It's not that simple, baby." Quinn tried to dismiss it, putting the eggs in a plate.
"So you do love her?" Maria pushed further, with a smirk.
"I do. You can't just stop loving people overnight. But I don't trust her anymore." Quinn answered, trying to sound as casual as possible, and hoping Maria would be done with the questions.
"What's trust?" Maria asked, and Quinn licked her lip and took a deep breath as she tried to think of a way to explain that to her child.
"Okay, do you know how every day when you come out of school I'm there waiting for you?" Maria nodded, and Quinn went on. "Now, imagine that one day I'm not there, and you don't know how to come home alone. That would be pretty bad right?" Maria nodded again, with a small frown. "From then on, you would always be anxious when you came out because you wouldn't trust me to be there. You wouldn't be sure if I was there."
"But Mama, why didn't you ask for Aunt Brittany to pick me up?" Maria asked upset, and Quinn shook her head vigorously.
"That wasn't a good example. Just forget it, baby. Don't worry about it, okay? I'll always be there to pick you up. Always!" Quinn reassured her with a grip of hand.
"But I didn't understand..." Maria whined.
"That's too difficult for me to explain, sweetie. I'll tell you when you're older." Quinn answered, pushing the plate with the eggs towards Maria.
"No, Mama! I want to know now! Please, tell me!" Quinn could never resist her baby's plead and pout.
"Mommy cheated, baby." Quinn answered, simply put. She never wanted to make Rachel the bad guy in the story, but she wouldn't lie to her child.
"Like what, in a game?" Maria asked with a small giggle. "Mama, she always does that! I thought you knew! She likes winning. I always let her cheat and win because it makes her so happy." Maria explained, and Quinn smiled sadly.
"It's a little bit more complicated than just a game. But it's nice of you to do that, baby. You're a very good little girl!" Quinn complimented her, but Maria still wasn't over the subject.
"Did she tell the truth though? Cause you always told me that people who tell the truth don't get to be punished!" She argued.
"I'm not punishing her, Maria. I'm not happy with this either." Quinn explained seriously.
"Then why don't you just let her come back and we can all be happy again?" Maria suggested with a smirk.
"Baby, we're done talking about this for today, okay? You're gonna be late for school. Go put on your clothes so we can leave and we'll talk about this again another day." Quinn said, grabbing the plate and throwing the remains in the trash can before shoving it in the dishwasher.
"Fine!" Maria huffed, stomping her feet before storming out of the room. It was unsettling for Quinn to see how much Maria resembled Rachel, and she found herself fighting back a tear.
You might think that my plan failed because I didn't get exactly what I wanted and I still don't understand what happened between my mommies. But the important thing is that I got Mama to say she still loves Mommy. And if they still love each other, I'm sure we can fix things up.
Then, all I had to find out was wether or not Mommy also loved Mama. I was smarter this time, and I waited until Mommy and I were stuck in the car in the middle of traffic. That way, I knew there would be no way of her escaping this conversation. She would just have to answer me.
I took George with me, because I needed someone to back me up. I knew he wouldn't be much helpful, but I also know that he makes Mommy think of Mama. He could help me soften her up.
"Mommy, do you still love Mama?" Maria asked directly, and Rachel hit the brakes abruptly in surprise, making George fall on the floor. Maria helped him up in his seat again before looking back to Rachel with eyes that demanded an answer. She heard Rachel cursing something under her breath.
"Yes. I do." Rachel answered with a sad nod, and Maria's mouth fell open at how easy it was to get Rachel to admit it.
"I knew it." Maria whispered to herself.
"What do you mean? Why are you asking that?" Rachel questioned, looking at Maria by the rear-view mirror.
"Annie said you got a divorce because you don't love each other anymore." Maria answered with a shrug.
"Annie doesn't know shit." Rachel said, letting out a small laugh in a huff. Maria giggled at the use of the bad word. She wasn't allowed to say those.
"I know. I asked Mama too." Maria confessed, and Rachel turned herself over to the back seat, facing her expectantly.
"You did? What did she say?" Rachel asked.
"That she loves you but she doesn't trust you anymore." Maria answered and Rachel sighed, turning back to the steering wheel.
"Yeah..." Rachel confessed sadly. "I messed up, baby."
"But Mommy, can't you fix it? I wanted us to be a family again." Maria asked with her best puppy eyes, hugging George tightly against her chest.
"I don't know, baby… I don't know." Rachel whispered, staring blindly.
When I was at Mommy's house, I didn't have Aunt Brittany to babysit me. Instead, I got an old lady that Mommy says I'm supposed to call Nanny. I don't like her. She is never up for dance parties like Aunt Britt. She also doesn't read me stories before tucking me into bed, because she says I'm a big girl already. The only thing she ever does is knit while watching TV. But she always falls asleep and gets grumpy when I wake her up. Mommy says it's because she's very old, and that I should be patient with her.
After begging for almost a week, she finally agreed to take me to the mall to see Santa Claus. Mommy doesn't believe in Santa, so Mama and her decided not to take me to meet him unless I asked to. Until this year, I never wanted to. To be honest, I was kinda scared of him. But all of my friends said he is a pretty cool dude and that he always gives you whatever you want, so I decided to give it a try.
I hadn't even finished telling him my full name, and he was already asking me what I wanted for Christmas. I liked his efficiency. I told him my birthday was on Christmas day, and he said that this meant I could actually ask for two things. I had to think for a while, but I ended up settling for a pink bike and for my mommies to be back together.
He said he would take care of the bike, but that the other part he couldn't guarantee. When I told him I wanted my mommies to be together more than I wanted a bike, he told me to never stop believing it would happen, because Christmas is magical and that anything is possible on Christmas day. He said he would get the help of a little friend of his, a reindeer called Cupid. I don't know him enough to just leave it up to him, though.
So that's when I came up with my plan.
It was Christmas Eve. I had dinner with Mommy, and she put me to sleep before heading out to work. Usually I would complain that she had to leave, but that night I needed her gone so that my plan would work. Nanny fell asleep in a heartbeat, just like I expected. I knew once she was asleep there was nothing that could wake her up, so I went on with the second part of my plan.
I sneaked out of my room and picked up a sheet of paper stuck in the refrigerator, which had everyone's phone number. It was for emergencies, and this was emergent enough. I called Mama first, because her house is further away. I told her I was feeling very sick and that Nanny wouldn't wake up to help me. I could hear her grabbing her keys even before she hang up.
Then, I called Mommy. She took longer to answer, because she was working, but once she did, she cursed a lot at Nanny and said she was going to be home in a minute. Not much later, I heard the doorbell ringing. It was action time.
"Baby? Are you alright?" Quinn asked, kneeling by the side of the bed and putting her hand on Maria's forehead. "Do you have a fever? You don't feel warm. What are you feeling?" She asked nervously.
"I think I'm all better already, Mama. Perhaps I just ate too much." Maria tried to brush it off, but Quinn frowned worriedly.
A second later, they heard the door being slammed open and Rachel's voice coming in.
"Maria, baby, are y- Quinn? What are you doing here?" Rachel stopped by the bedroom door, surprised.
"I came to take care of my daughter, who was feeling sick and was left alone with an irresponsible old lady which I swear to God, I'm about to k-" Quinn was clearly disturbed, and Rachel cut her short before she could say anything that could startle Maria.
"I know, I'm sorry. I'm gonna fire her right away. It isn't easy to find good babysitters in the city Quinn, and we're not all lucky to have someone like Brittany." Rachel justified herself, crossing her arms against her chest protectively.
"No! Stop it!" Maria half-yelled, getting up on top of the bed. "You're not suppose to fight! That's not why I brought you here!" She exclaimed, climbing out of bed and leaving the room with a slamming of the door.
Quinn and Rachel exchanged confused looks for a second before they both realized what was happening. Rachel sighed in relief, knowing their daughter wasn't actually sick. But Quinn frowned further.
"Rachel, did you plan this? Because this is low, even for y-" Quinn was cut short once more.
"Of course I didn't. I would't scare you like that. And I wouldn't use our daughter either." Rachel answered, and Quinn got up to leave. As she tried to open the door, small hands pulled it back closed, and she heard a muffled voice coming from the outside.
"No! Stay there and talk!" Maria said. "You can only come out when you're friends again!"
Quinn tried to open the door again, but giggled when she found a chair leaning against the doorknob.
"I think she didn't realize the door opens to the inside and that this chair won't be of much help." Quinn said, with a small smile.
"Come on." Rachel said, sitting on the edge of the bed and trying to take advantage of Quinn's guards coming down for a second. She hadn't planned this, but she couldn't deny she was thankful she had such a clever daughter. "Let's just humor her for a while. We can't blame her for wanting us to come back together." Rachel completed, but Quinn's face stiffened immediately.
"Rachel, I have nothing to say to you. We've talked enough." Quinn deadpanned, turning her back to Rachel.
"Shit!" Maria exclaimed loudly after they heard a thud of something falling, coming from the outside. Quinn turned to Rachel with an angry frown.
"You know she's not supposed to curse, Rachel!" She said, turning to the door again. "Maria, don't use bad words!"
"I'm sorry! I'm just trying to set the mood!" Maria exclaimed a few seconds before a slow music started to play.
Rachel giggled, but Quinn just shook her head and closed her eyes, leaning against the wall and trying to think how she was gonna get out of there without hurting her daughter's feelings. She had been avoiding Rachel for too long, and now it was clear to her that it was for the best. Having Rachel that close to her made her stomach twist – and she wasn't sure if it was in a bad or good way.
"I made sure she was fired, you know." Rachel said quietly. She didn't have to specify who she was talking about. Quinn knew exactly. She laughed ironically, and Rachel frowned in confusion.
"You really don't understand anything, do you?" Quinn asked with a deep sigh, but went on upon Rachel's silence. "I didn't want you to fire her, Rachel. The only thing you got with that was to ruin the career of someone who was just beginning and had a lot of potential."
"I thought you would feel better knowing she isn't around..." Rachel admitted quietly. Quinn hated how she felt like comforting Rachel, even though she was the one who had messed it up.
"You're always gonna have beautiful people working with you. She was just one among the others. What I wanted- What I needed, was to know that you loved me enough to not act on it, even if you were attracted to them." Quinn said so calmly and coldly that it frightened Rachel. Little did she know how hard it was for Quinn to keep her feelings inside of her.
"I do love you, though! You're the prettiest girl I've ever met, Quinn!" Rachel tried, getting up and moving closer to Quinn, who took a step back.
"Apparently not pretty enough." Quinn replied with a sad giggle, before sighing and continuing. "How am I supposed to trust you when you need to fire her because you can't trust yourself to be around her and still behave as the married woman you were?" Quinn meant it when she said she didn't wanna talk about that matter anymore. But she couldn't help the words that slipped out of her lips, and she couldn't help the small part of her brain that still looked for an explanation in hopes everything had been just a nightmare.
"Quinn, you know that's not how it is. You know I won't do it again. You have to forgive me!" Rachel begged and tried to grab Quinn's hand, but she winced. "Coming home doesn't make sense when you're not there waiting for me, Quinn. You know, even when we fought, it was still heart warming to know that in the end of the day I would still sleep by your side. I loved that even when you were mad, your body would still search for mine in the middle of the night."
"Rachel, stop it." Quinn growled, closing her eyes shut to try and stop the memories from coming. This was already difficult enough without Rachel reminding her how cold and big that bed felt now that she slept all alone in it.
"No, Quinn. Listen to me." Rachel pleaded, taking another step closer. "Even when Maria is here, I don't feel happy coming home. I might have realized it too late, but I know now that I love you even more than I love our daughter, and God, I love Maria to death. But without you, I wouldn't even have her in the first place."
"I don't." Quinn said truthfully, making Rachel sigh and look down. She wouldn't admit defeat, but those words cut her like a sharp knife. "I have once, but I don't think I could ever love you as much as I did."
"But you could love me a little?" Rachel asked shyly, with a small smile. Quinn mentally cursed herself for not being able to resist that smile.
"I never stopped loving you, Rachel. You know that." Quinn declared with a sad sigh, and Rachel felt guilty for being happy about it. "No matter how bad you hurt me… Inside of me there will always be a hint of that hurtful High School girl who loved you in silence and put your happiness above anything. But I can't do that anymore. No matter how happy I want to make you, I need to put myself first because I need to be at my best for Maria. I need to be strong and happy for her, and I can't let you be my everything anymore."
"Quinn, I don't wanna be your everything. You have no idea how much I love seeing you interacting with Maria. You're a great mother, and I love that about you." Rachel said, knowing Quinn was insecure about that in particular. She didn't have the best example of mother at home, but she always tried her best with her daughter. When Quinn smiled shyly, Rachel knew she was making progress. "And I love how passionate you are about writing. The problem with us was that we were too invested in our other passions and we didn't find time for each other. I don't mind that you have other things, as long as you can still find a little time for me, love."
"Don't call me that..." Quinn whispered, shaking her head again and moving further away from Rachel, as if the word had brought her back to reality. "Rach, don't do this. You can't come and say all those things to me after everything. It's already hard moving on without having to hear all of that."
"Let me fix this, Quinn. I know I can. You don't have to move on. And I can see in your eyes that you don't want to." Rachel said softly, and Quinn closed her eyes trying to shut Rachel out of her soul. Rachel took the gesture as an admission, and it only drew her further. "It's Christmas. I know how much you love this holiday. How important it is for us. It was the day you gave me the best gift I ever got. Really, think of all of our Christmases together. How happy we were together..." She whispered, walking closer and smiling when Quinn looked down to the floor – but didn't move away. "I wanna be happy with you again. I can't be happy without you. And I know I can make you happy too. Happier than you've ever been. We were such a perfect little family, and I'll never apologize enough for messing that up. But you can know for sure that I regret it more than anything. And I would never hurt you again."
"I think what hurts the most is that even after everything… you can still say all of that, and I believe you." Quinn whispered with a small smile while a stray tear ran from the corner of her eye. Rachel caught it with her pinky finger, and pulled Quinn by the chin to look in her eyes.
"Let me make you fall in love with me again. I promise you I'll be better this time. I promise you that you won't regret giving me a second chance." Rachel asked, and felt Quinn's jaw trembling under her hand.
Quinn had always been and would always be vulnerable to Rachel's touch. It was especially effective then, when she missed it so much. Rachel brushed a thumb softly against Quinn's cheek, and she found herself nodding. She wasn't even sure what she was consenting to, but this was how their relationship had always worked. Rachel drove her when she was unsure, and she always ended up exactly where she needed to be.
Rachel leaned in, and Quinn realized she didn't want to stop her. Before any of them could think further, their lips were meeting again, after such a long time. None of them had dared to kiss another person's mouth since the faithful day – perhaps they felt like they could keep their last kiss forever. Rachel damned herself for ever having traded such soft lips for anything else, and Quinn tried to ignore her inner fears for the sake of the happiness she found in that mouth.
Until a door was slammed open.
"Okay, I think you've talked enough, it's snowing outside and I wanna go- Oh my God!" Maria screamed, getting in the room and finding her mothers together. "You're kissing! You're kissing! You're kissing!" She shrieked excitedly, skipping around the room and running out to tell George about it. Quinn took a step back and shook her head.
"She wasn't suppose to see that..." Quinn whispered, wiping her forehead with a deep sigh. "We don't even know what will happen, I don't want to get her hopes up."
"Come on." Rachel smiled smugly, wrapping one arm around Quinn's waist. "It's just a kiss. She's seen it before. You saw how happy she was." Quinn nodded with a shy smile, still trying to figure out if being under Rachel's embrace would ever feel natural again. "Besides..." Rachel whispered against Quinn's ear. "I know I'll get you back."
A shiver ran through Quinn's spine, and she was just sure Rachel was right. It could take a little time before they were back to what they had once been, but as long as they were both willing to try, Quinn knew their love could save anything.
My name is Maria and I'm seven years old. I live in New York City, with my two mommies who met in High School back in- Oh wait, you already know all of that. It is Christmas morning again, and officially one year since you last heard about me, so I decided to give you an update.
Turns out Santa Claus is really powerful.
After that night, my mommies took me outside to play in the snow, even though it was long passed my bed time. We made snow angels, and Mommy threw a snow ball right at Mama's face. We all froze because we thought she would Mommy would be in trouble, but Mama just laughed and I swear it was the best thing I could hear. It had been a while since I last had heard Mama laughing like that.
From that day on, I helped Mommy set dates for her and Mama. I would tell Mommy about plays Mama wanted to watch, or exhibitions she wanted to see, or gifts she wanted to get – and Mommy would do it right away. We all knew it wouldn't be hard for Mommy to win her over again, but it was even faster than I expected.
Mommy soon moved back to our house, and I never had to see that annoying Nanny again. Breakfasts were back to being loud and cheerful, with Mommy singing while Mama cooked for us. Since I'm older, I'm now allowed to wait up until Mommy gets home after work. We always read together before I go to sleep – because I can read now – and it might be my favorite part of the day.
We were officially a happy family again, and when I woke up this Christmas morning – all ready for my gifts and birthday pancakes – mommies had a surprise for me. I won't deny, I felt kinda disappointed when they said one of my gifts was a tiny envelope. I wasn't much reassured either when I opened it and saw nothing but a blurred blue and black picture.
It was only when Mommy explained to me what it meant that I could finally get excited. Mama was pregnant again, and that small blue blurry thing on the picture was going to be my baby brother! I ran to tell George, but I don't think he really understood it because he didn't act excited at all.
I asked mommies to take me to the mall again, and I made sure to hug Santa Claus extra tightly. I thanked him for everything he gave me last year, and when he asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year, I only told him I want nothing to change.
Because nothing would ever make as happy as seeing my mommies in love.
